Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Well fuck it, let’s just go from start to finish!  Did ya’ll see this shit?  Why does Bravo cut and paste these shows so damn much?  It annoys the shit out of Hollywood and Vine, but here it goes.

Some nobody ass white boy hosted the reunion and started off with Kim.  They replayed her infamous K-A-T spelling bee with Dallas Austin.  When asked what the fuck was wrong with her dumb ass, she said “I messed up.  I’m human”.  She said that like she made a mistake and fucked a married man.  Oh wait a minute, she did!  But spelling CAT wrong is just shameful.  You learn how to spell CAT when you’re 3 years old by pointing to a picture of a cat and repeating what the toy tells you! 

Sheree goes on to say that she felt it was important for herself and the other black women to represent for black women in America.  She might have felt it was important, but this bitch damn sure did NOT do shit to make sistas look any better!  Hell, Dwight Eubanks made sistas look better than Sheree’s triflin’ ass.

NeNe was ready for Sheree and Kim’s asses tonight!  Them hoes ain’t want one!  Moving on, some dumb white bitch wrote in asking if NeNe is truly an ex-stripper.  Why waste a question on the fruit lady when she could have gone online to find the answer to that shit@@  Anyway, NeNe broke it down that she strips for Gregg’s old ass most nights!  Gregg looks like he puts it DOWN.  Hollywood doesn’t like old niggas, but Vine ain’t mad at NeNe!  You better work bitch…

They showed a clip of Kim doing what she called singing…“there’s a tight rope/between me and you”.  Hollywood and Vine wish the only tight rope near Kim would be tied around her vocal cords so we wouldn’t have to hear that shit ever again!  Kim goes on to talk about how her album is being released the first week in January 2009.  While we sat here laughing at her, it became clear that she really believes that her voice is a God given talent.  Who did she blow to get a record deal?  We’re just askin’…

Kim was way too comfortable telling NeNe to ‘back ya ass up’ and throwing around the word bitch!  Ya’ll can’t tell us that Big Papa ain’t black!  No white bitch would feel that comfortable calling a black woman out her name unless she felt like she got a nigga pass!

Kim said that it was her choice not to tell who Big Papa was, but when the show first started, she said point blank that Big Papa chose not to be revealed because he is a celebrity.  Which one is it?  This broad can’t even lie right. 

Speaking of out and out lies, Kim told the worse muthafuckin lie that she could have thought of.  First of all, what was with the white girl tears?  As much as those bitches break out in tears for no reason, you’d think that they’ve learned to actually shed a tear.  This broad didn’t say that she went to the doctor to have tests run.  She said that a FRIEND of hers who’s a doctor (yeah right) said he was 90% sure that she had Cancer.  BASED ON WHAT?  Then it turned out not to be Cancer.  Bitch threw that in there at the end like those side effect disclaimers on medication commercials!

Sheree had the NERVE to say that DeShawn’s auction was an embarrassment.  Yeah it was, but it was no more of an embarrassment than her outfit that night.  It was no more embarrassing than her muthafuckin ass having a fashion show with no fucking clothes!  That’s why we don’t like Sheree’s ass…because she is always trying to play someone when her shit ain’t on point either!

One thing that Hollywood and Vine hate is when people say shit as fact that they know nothing about.  Sheree’s dumb ass said that most designers don’t sketch or sew.  Um, what the fuck designers does she know because Hollywood and Vine know quite a few real designers and they ALL sketch and sew!  No, all of them don’t, but MOST?  Come on now.  This bitch just be runnin’ her damn mouth.  That’s why her ass is single.  Saying Michael Knight is JUST known in Atlanta.  Is she crazy?  Sheree’s other problem is that she is trying so fucking hard to act like she’s nonchalant about men and she’s not a gold digger, but all that is a front to try and attract yet another nigga with money!  We see through you Sheree and niggas will, too! 

Just a few more observations about the show:

– Why did Sheree’s birthday cake look like a bowling bag?

– We won’t even touch Sheree’s “HAVE YOU SAW HER” comment.

– Sheree said she tried to keep it “classy”.  Doesn’t the use of the word classy show your lack of class?

– Kim, just a tip sweetie, when you tell muthafuckas how many nigga friends you have, then your ignorant ass is suspect, if not racist.

– Kim told NeNe “Fuck you”, but 15 minutes later said she was over her issues with NeNe.  We think her wig is too tight.

– Lisa looked great!  Her make up was young and fresh, she pulled herself together well for the reunion.  But, she said that she thinks there’s a lot of water under the bridge with the other ladies so it would be hard to repair things.  Boo, we’re starting to like you, but we have to let you know that water under the bridge is a good thing!  It means you’ve moved on.  Lisa must have learned some of her American phrases from her father, Stanley Wu, because her shit don’t be translating properly!

– Props to DeShawn Snow!  DeShawn’s hair might have looked like hell, but the bitch’s attitude tonight was so on point!  She rose above all the bullshit and kept it Christian and positive; we can’t be mad at that.  Anyone trying to bring her down, she just let them know bitch, I’m not coming down to your level (Sheree)!  Bravo bitch, bravo!

Last, but certainly not least, we have two words for ya’ll…DWIGHT EUBANKS!  Was that muthafucka not fierce tonight?  Nigga’s wet and wavy weave looked like it grew right out his scalp.  We love this fool.  He truly was the 6th housewife.  He kept it DIVO tonight, but we fell out when he told Kim he would bring her into the 21st Century!  Now Kim, you know you ain’t on point when the gays play you on national tv.

We hope we’re done with the Atlanta Housewives until their next season because we already see the OC women are going to wear us out all over again!

Did ya’ll see the reunion?  Tell Hollywood and Vine what you think.

In a minute

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Comments on: "Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Wrap-Up" (18)

  1. i read your review. i died.
    i died because the show was by far THE funniest shit i HAVE EVA bore witness too… h&v, you called it ALL out too! every crazy ass, monkey fool thing those bitches did.
    sheree and kim thought they were going to be the isht when the show was taping, but bravo cut their fake asses down to size.

    and on the real: i am a black woman from atlanta, spelman educated, jack and jill legacy. i am very much a part of black upperwardly mobile atlanta crowd… second generation. and these women are REAL. there is a sheree and a kim everywhere you look. this is the main reason i believe it was not hard for the viewers to see right through them… b/c we know those bitches!!

  2. I enjoyed reading it was pretty funny.. but… “Don’t take this the wrong way” As a guess reader I was completely turned off by your choice of words. All the NIGGAS and BITCHES unnecessary.

  3. Kim and Sheree need to be put off the second season
    Kim is not married she is dating a married man.
    Sheree is getting a divorce and not dating a man.
    The title is HOUSEWIVES…..if you do not work, does not make you a housewife.

    I am glad NeNe and Lisa told Kim she can not sing!!!
    But Lisa looked a little suspect about the phone call when Kim& Sheree called her. Lisa told them what was said in the limo.
    Sheree didn’t say it was not true they made the call to Lisa, she sat over there and looked CLASSY (lol)

  4. OMG…I read this article 4 times..and still can’t stop laughing! You hit the nail on the head…ON EVERYTHING! I didnt intend to get into the Altanta Housewives season…being a So. Cal gal. I’m all about the O.C…but I simply cannot wait for season 2! Here are my quick opinions..Nene looked smashing, love her hair! Lisa…girls got it going on, hot, hot HOT! DeShawn…ever so elegant & classy, as usual. Kim..oh Lord..can you say hot mess! Not sure what she’ll do now that Big Poppa’s “gotten his” and left. Hopefully she’s not counting on her music to support her smoking habit. Sheree…I really liked her in the begining, but as the episodes went on she became quite annoying….

  5. Hollywood and Vine, you two hit the nail on the head with this one! I cannot wait until next season to see the embarassment Kim has to go through after Big Papa DOESN’T get a divorce; why hasn’t she realized she is just his white trash jump-off! I was slightly disappointed wth the reunion though. I was expecting more information to be shared, especially about the party NeNe and Sheree originally fell out over before taping and who in the hell Big Papa is and why ain’t nobody spilling the beans!!!! I love how DeShawn handled Sheree. That “I-will-buy-and-sell-yo-ass” look that she gave Sheree was priceless!

  6. @JIntrovert – We respect your opinion. Our foul language certainly isn’t for everyone, but that’s how we talk when we’re at home on the couch watching this shit. We told ya’ll, straight up, no chaser!

  7. @JLove – We agree! You notice that the two messiest bitches on the show were single? That ain’t a coincidence if you ask us. We’ll give Lisa props for the way she handled the confrontation about running her mouth about NeNe. At least she was woman enough to say hey girl, I was wrong, this is what I did and NeNe clearly respected that. If Lisa would just be that straight up all the time, we could embrace her ass a bit more.

  8. Why can’t you find a biography of Gregg Leakes anywhere, only NeNe? Is he hiding something?

  9. @Susan – Hmmm. Maybe we’ll do just that. Give us a minute.

  10. Let me first, start off by saying, I absolutely love H&V! If you can’t handle the language, then HOLLA! Step the fuck off because we keeps it real over here!

    Now about last night’s reunion show:
    It went just as I expected. I knew DeShawn’s ass would try to remain neutral. I know the truth though. Through those big ass, hard to open teeth, she really wanted to let Sheree have it! She handled herself very well but a part of me wanted her to spaz out to let them bitches know, just because you have a little chump change don’t put you up on my level, no man having ass ho.

    NeNe…. I said it once and I’ll say it again, the realest one of them all! She came out SMOKIN!!!! I’m glad she let Kim know… “Bitch you say you can beat my ass, BRING IT!” She stuck to her true feelings which was “Fuck them bitches!” and I love her for that! Nothing fake about her. She already said that she and Sheree would never be friends and after the show, I guess that goes for Kim too. I’d say Fuck Her! And I love the hair!

    Lisa…. well I’m glad Lisa did let NeNe know that she was the one who told about the song in the limo. Personally, I don’t know why she would go and run her mouth anyway. What, because she had love and respect for Kim?!? Well, looks like all love is lost for that bitch now, huh Lisa? At least she fessed up though. I was wondering if she would be a woman and do that.

    Now here we go…. I can’t stand Sheree. Even last night, the bitch still had her nose turned up like she was better than everyone else, including Kim! Talking about “women wish they could look like me” BITCH PLEASE! Has she looked in the mirror lately? Manly ass ho! I was hoping NeNe would’ve thrown Lisa’s ass off her lap, leaped over there and slapped both them bitches! Oh, and the trick said she hadn’t been talking about NeNe, she has better things to do with her time. Come on now H&V, how many times did we see her and Kim sitting at a table talking about NeNe was miserable and had no class? I can’t even count. Representing for us black women huh? Well her leaching ass aint representing shit over here. Ooooohhhhh I can’t stand that bitch!

    And Kim, what the fuck was all that about? What’s with all the tears and shit? Talking about she thought she had cancer. Who the hell is going to take someone’s word on some shit like that and not go and make sure? And how come, as close as they were, NeNe had never heard anything about it? Its not adding up. Just be honest, you like wearing that whack ass wig, hair piece or whatever it is, and leave it like that. Do you! Whatever the reason, you’ll still be a busted ass ho to me but at least you’d be an honest one! Then, Kim tried to say that her reason for acting like that towards NeNe was because of the song in the limo…. Shut your lying ass up! Her punk ass had already started acting funny. She was up Sheree’s ass BEFORE the scene in the limo so she can stop all that shit!

    And last but not least, Dwight. I love this mothafucka! He’s fucking hilarious! I hope he sticks around for next season.

    Someone brought up a very good point, How the hell are Kim and Sheree on a show starring housewives and they aren’t wives? Thats a damn good question. I still hope they’re on next season though. I can’t wait to see how Kim will react when her album flops and if Sheree’s raggedy-ass sketches ever come to life.

    But its time for Orange County now. I’m going to need some help on this one H&V. I didn’t see the first season.

    I’ll holla!

  11. @TeeMarie – We love you for that comment girl! Thanks for always checkin’ us out. We agree with you! We wanted DeShawn to haul off on that ass, too, but we’re glad she didn’t. It was clear that she wanted to keep it real, but the high road suited her better.

    Yeah, Kim started talkin’ shit about NeNe long before the I’m 29, but look 89 medley. Sheree also talked plenty of trash! Acting like her life is so wonderful while poor, pitiful NeNe was desperate. Please! Anyone who was paying attention can see just how fucked up Sheree is on the inside. That is why SHE was the one always with NeNe’s name in her mouth. SHE is the jealous one. Peep our ATL Housewives Preview. Sheree ain’t doing shit but actin’ high post now because the bitch ain’t have a pot or a window before Bob came along in his cape savin’ her broke ass! Bitch needs to humble herself.

    Kim and that Cancer lie are going to come back and bite her in the muthafuckin ass, watch! You don’t play like that. We talk lots of shit, but we don’t ever play like that! Big Papa done fucked the common sense out this bitch! We out before “JIntrovert” gets mad as us ROFLMAO!

  12. Did anyone else notice the torn up carpet in Sheree’s house? If you look at the episode where she’s on the phone in her “office”, and one of her friends walks in to talk to her. The camera zooms over to her friend and you can see a throw rug on the floor trying to hide the rips and tears in her carpet. You can tell she must lock the dog up in the room, and he was trying to get out. I guess she must have run out of money on the downstairs and couldn’t afford new carpet upstairs….. just dreadful.

  13. @ skiz – No, we ain’t see that, but we’ll check it out next time. Sheree is the low budget one, not NeNe! That’s why she’s trying to take that fool Bob to the cleaners…b/c she was broke before and she’s broke now. Did you peep that Bob ain’t even get out the car when he picked up his daughter? He don’t even wanna breathe the same air as this bitch!!

  14. Love your commentary!!! Right on point.

  15. I like your perspective on the show but I LOVE the fact that you curse freely on this blog to express your thoughts. How refreshing! I too, enjoy a little vulgarity to punctuate and emote.

    Anyhoo, I agree 100% with your disdain for fake Sheree and loser Kim. As well, I agree that DeShawn is the true representation of classy and the only one on this show that I would even consider a good image of Black women. Nene is growing on me. I think she is genuine, albeit uncouth and unrefined.

    LISA – The verdict is still out on Lisa. I’m not a big fan of Type A’s. She needs to turn it down a notch. Besides, that’s Keith Sweat’s ex-wife and I’ve heard some troubling things about her.

    SHEREE spends so much time trying to pretend that she is “high society”. When you strip away the facade, she is broken, damaged, hollow, SORELY insecure and scared of her own shadow. The purpose for her parade is to cover up these weaknesses. All the women share these problems.

    NENE needs ETIQUETTE 101, however I do admire that she still carries her head high even in the midst of the BS. While on TV, she should wear a bra although I love the natural look of her breast. She keeps her hair tight.

    DESHAWN holds it down, but tell the truth… Don’t she seem a little slow?

    kim aint nothing but a broke britney spears, with a crooked puffy wig. the inflated self she presents to the world is truly laughable. she wants to be a singer and was all but ready to fight her vocal coach. she souned like pure shit on the mic. anybody can make an album. the question is, can you get anybody to buy it? LOL NOT! that white trash is nothing but another racist cracker with “black friends”. she flipped on Nene without a second thought. she is insincerely flatters Sheree because she knows Sheree needs that. In the second breath, she called her a bitch to her face, IN FRONT OF BOTH their children. And tell me again, how an unmarried bitch stars on a show called “housewives”? And why was that bitch sitting more centered on the Reunion show than Sheree, Lisa, and DeShawn?

    Truth is, all these women are new money, first generation “rich”. And, it seems every last one of them are one contract from going BANKRUPT.

    Lisa’s husband got cut, and aint nobody buying houses, so where’s their income?

    DeShawn’s husband had a “career-ending” injury, and you can’t be paid from your own non-profit, so where’s their income?

    Nene’s husband is in real estate, and we all know the housing industry has shot to hell so where’s their income?

    And lastly, kim dont count. (but to those that care, she lives off her ex-husband’s support so she should be ok. but you’ll also notice she’s the only one not living in some palacial mansion).

    Whoo! These heffers give lots to gossip about. It’s been fun.

  16. Lawntawndra said:

    Yall a bunch a trashy bitches..I have no desire to travel to Atlanta if these gals are whats hot…they look like trailer trash to me..That Sheree is really an uppity ghetto bitch with a bunch a kids..and Ne Ne that long tall drink of water filthy nasty mouth in front of her kids and bitchin about how she dont know who knocked up her mama…Whos ya Daddy..

  17. I ain’t mad at none of them or your commentary. Everybody and their momma already knew this was gonna be a keeping-up-shit show from the jump! Hell, what black folks you know wanna watch black folks be boring on the Tv, i.e. 5 Deshawns going about their lives? Look at the trend…if it’s boring and serious—>Axed! If it’s drama (flav, real housewives) ratings through the roof! Maybe we should be collectively mad at our “dramatical” tastes.

    Now, our sistergirls:

    Nene- straight, no chaser. She is the MF real deal through and through.

    Kim- little lost white girl. Wanna be black but ain’t paid the negro dues. I dont’ know who pumped her up to call Nene a bitch and say she’d whoop her ass…bad, BAD coaching on their parts.

    Lisa- rode the fence but came off at the end. Don’t think she’d stay in the middle anymore with girlfriends

    DeShawn- girl flaunt what you got, hell, it’s YOUR shit. I wouldn’t cook, clean, do my own hair or shit else if I had the loot. I’d do just like any other socialite/rich bitch would do–get pamper and attended to. I ain’t thinking about the haters…cause y’all know you would do the same thing to if the positions were reversed. So, go on and hire your governess, nanny, au pair, maid staff and housekeeper. Hell, I wish we were good buddies and I could get the use of the services at a discounted rate. Fa sho!

    Sheree–little lost black girl. Saying you are better doesn’t actually make you better than the rest of us. Definitely a case of faking until you make it. Just wonder if the fake will all crumble and expose her before she makes it?

    Can’t wait for next year!

  18. @Syd – You’re right on the money about Sheree! That shit was hilarious. We can’t wait for next season either.

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