Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Better late than never people!  Damn, we are only two people…we can’t watch all this shit on tivo fast enough.

Tamra should have been known the shit that etiquette lady tried to teach her.  She is the perfect example of money can’t buy you class!

Lynne better be glad that Frank married her before she started fucking with all that damn plastic surgery!  She looks a hot ass mess.  And that gut!  She can’t afford spanx?  They had 2 bottles of wine missing, but don’t think either of their trashy ass daughters stole the shit?  What planet are these two dumb ass fools from?  Of course they stole the wine AND drank it.  Raquel was probably the fucking ringleader with her out of control ass!  Did ya’ll see her roundin up the group to head to the bathroom at the bowling alley?  Lynne and Frank better open their fucking eyes because their daughters are on a road to nowhere!

Greedy Gretchen and Jeff’s daughters were saying their goodbyes.  It appears that the kids being in town lifted Jeff’s spirits.  Hollywood & Vine were truly hoping that Jeff pulled through once again, but we found out that he passed away in September.  Evidently, it was right after they finished filming.  So sad, but we hope he’s no longer in pain and in a better place!

Vicki’s brother’s cook out looked like a modern day episode of the Beverly Hillbillies.  No wonder Vicki smothers her damn kids…her own mama can’t stand her ass!  She needs to be smotherin her husband…with her breasts before he leaves her crazy ass!

Is it clear to anyone else why Simon married Tamra?  He won’t even let this cow plan a dinner party for 10 muthafuckas without putting in his two cents.  We think Simon really wanted to tell her to go upstairs and wait for him naked while he worked out the details from with dude from Top Chef!  Arm piece honey, that’s all!

At least now we know that Greedy Gretchen doesn’t just leave Jeff’s side to kick it and get drunk.  She leaves him to do Yoga, too.  Shit, bitch gotta keep her body tight.  Way to keep your priorities straight girl!  Seriously though, H&V don’t know how Gretchen was able to keep it together during all of this.

Lynne had a chat with Raquel about her not drinking and driving.  If she knows that her 18 year old drinks, why the fuck would you buy her ass a damn car?  These fucking stupid ass parents creating monsters!  Maybe her ass should have been a Girl Scout.  She might have had some structure and discipline.  Lynne and Frank might as well move out of that house because Raquel and Alexa run that shit!

Meanwhile back at Tacky Tamra’s house prepping for her dinner party, this bitch is fucking up the floor with that Swiffer!  She has probably never used that shit before, but we digress.  Tamra’s son Ryan pretended that he found Gretchen attractive.  H&V wonder how long he’s going to keep up this charade. 

Simon is as tacky as his wife, calling that woman Greedy Gretchen at the dinner table!  Now we REALLY see why those two married each other.  Why the fuck are they so concerned with Gretchen, Jeff and Jeff’s money?  As long as she ain’t fucking Simon or asking the Barneys for money, they need to leave that girl alone!

Tamra is full of fucking shit, lying about how she thinks of all the ladies as family.  Bitch just did an interview for an OC publication talking about how she’s not here to be friends with Gretchen…that it’s a business relationship!  Keep the shit real.  We can’t stand her ass! 

Straight up, Vicki and Tamra need to get muthafuckin’ lives!  These are two grown ass women, especially Vicki with her middle-aged ass, and they’re plotting on Gretchen like they’re on the fucking playground.  This shit is really pissing us off.  What the fuck is wrong with these women?  So fucking what if Gretchen has a dark side?  Who the fuck does Tamra think she is that she needs to expose it?  We are tellin ya’ll, Tamra is mad because Gretchen looks better than her!  Even Tamra’s gay son said that Gretchen was hotter.

Thank you Lynne and Jeana for trying to be a friend to Gretchen! 

Gretchen said that she hasn’t gotten any in 8 months, but a few weeks ago she bragged about how she and Jeff fuck in the hospital.  Which one is it?  Gretchen, don’t start working our nerves.  Right now we like you, but get your stories straight.

Tamra is a conniving ass broad!  She should have sent Greedy Gretchen home with Frank and Lynne.  She kept her there to help mess up that girl’s life.  That shit will most definitely come back around on Tamra.

It appears next week Gretchen tells Ryan that he turns her on.  Boo, you were drunk as a 4 skunks…anything would have turned you on that night!  To be continued…

What did ya’ll think of the show?

In a minute…


Comments on: "Real Housewives of OC: 1.13.09 Wrap-Up" (7)

  1. I read this article 3 times…and burst out laughinging each time…it amazes me how H&V hits everything right on freaken target! I agree Tamara & Vickie have turned into complete bitches this season! They’re arent focusing too much on Lynne yet…she does need to cool it with her plastic surgery, she’s starting to get “Joan Rivers” syndrome. Jeana needs to really forget about Matt, all she does is complain about how horrible he was to her, but I do give her kudos for not hopping in the sack with the 1st guy to show her attention (unless they took that part out of the show…hahahaha)…Vickie…needs to cut Don lose, allow this man to find a real classy lady to appreciate him. Gretchen…you sweet little gold digger…my condolences on your loss of Jeff, I have no doubts he really loved you…even though you may have stayed with him primarily out of guilt, at least you were woman enough & classy enough not to bail on that sweet man in his time of need.

  2. @Marina – We agree about Vicki cutting Don loose! He’s a good man. Let his ass go and move on to someone who appreciates him! Vicki is crazier this season than ever.

  3. htownsfinest said:

    H&V, you two are right! Tamra and Vicky are very messy. How anyone would want to be married to them is a mystery to me!

  4. This is truly the funniest blog I have ever read! My first time logging on to your website and I’m hooked already! Just as everyone else pointed out, you two told it like it was!! No Bull!!! To be honest, I used to like Tamara, but she is really giving me too much this season. She has turned into a Bi**h, to the max!!! I wish Jeanna will please go get a life and leave Matt to himself. She’s doing exactly what he wants her to do and that’s being miserable! I am more than positive he had some where he could’ve stayed other than with her!! Before I go will like to send a prayer out to Gretchen! I know it’s been months since Jeff’s passing, but I would like her to know that no matter how I may view her on the show, it doesn’t change her love she had for her fiance. It was very obvious that she truly loved him, so I’m wishing her the best. Thanks for the laughs H&V!!!! Luv Ya!!!

  5. when did gretchen’s fiancee die? I dont remember seeing it or remember anyone mentioning it. My condolences def. go out to his kids. Gretchen on the other hand, even in the beginning she mentioned she was never attracted to him physically. It is so obvious that she was only attracted to his wallet. She gives Gold Digger a whole new meaning. Unless they did tons and tons of editing, she was never at the hospital by his bed side. she was to busy partying and going out with friends to spas..etc. Wow.. then she had the nerve to listen to Vikki’s advice and think about her future financially in respect to her boyfriends money… wow,,,, hello get a job like the rest of us. Yes, she is absolutely gorgeous and i am sure she would not have a problem getting any kind of work, but to take the easy way out and deny it… Come clean and admit you only like the old man for his money and i would respect her 100 percent…Ok
    lastly, what is up with Jeanna’ grouchy ass son??? who the heck does he think he is, big time loser. No mother deserves that kind of disrespect. I was so embarrassed for Jeanna..
    well, thats all here
    toot a loo..

  6. @Mia – As far as we know, Bravo hasn’t put it out there yet, but it’s all over the web. Gretchen even talked about what she learned from Jeff [while he was alive] on her Myspace. Yeah, we know…Myspace. Anyway, it happened not long after the show wrapped last Summer. He passed away in September. Very sad – he was very young.

    We don’t know what they edited, so we’re trying not to say too much about Gretchen being out and about what seems like a lot. H&V are giving her the BOTD.

    As far as Shane is concerned, we agree! Jeana should slap his ass for talking to her like that. WTF does he think he is? She is his mother and has done any and everything possible for him. And he cusses her out? He’d be disowned in either of our homes!

  7. brian bustis said:

    I agree Tamara is a nasty two faced brown trout skinned bitch.She is suppose to be “really tight friends”with Vicki and the bitch even talks about her on the one on one interviews.No wonder he daddy left her hanging high and dry and moved to Iowa.Karma is a real thing and it is gonna come around and bight that fake bitch in the ass big time

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