Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Vine here in week three of this crazy shit and Hollywood still refuses to watch! 

I really try to like at least one of these broads, but they say the stupidest shit when they talk.  1 minute into the show, someone asked how many were left.  Another one answers “It’s 5 and 5…that’s 10”.  Uh, is it really?  Where do they find these bitches?  Amish Country??

Ray J (aka the Producers of the show) comes up with the idea for the ladies (used as lightly as possible) to play a game called the Foxy Feud.  These muthafuckas are real original!  He split them into two teams – The Divas and The Darlings.  Ya’ll have watched for 3 weeks so you know who’s on what team.  He shoulda just gone for Trash vs. Class!  Just sayin…

Tommy Davidsoncomes out to host the show!  Another short nigga to watch, how exciting!  Ray J even has D listed friends!  This shit gets worse by the week!

First question – “What’s Ray J’s favorite part of the body?”  Tits is #3, ass is #4 and lips are #2???  Um, what the fuck kind of nigga is he that the booty is so far down on the list?  I’m typing this shit in real time.  If #1 is the pussy, I am going to be unable to continue recappin this shit due to loss of oxygen!  We in the clear…the “eyes” have it! 

Next question – “What is Ray J’s favorite way to relax?”  Danger puts the Darlings on the board with writing music.  Uniquegoes with reading a book!  Who the fuck knew that Ray J liked to read books?  I was shocked as shit!  Okay, wait.  The nigga does not like to relax by havin a drink???  ALL HE DOES is drink on this damn show.  Now all of a sudden he don’t relax wit a drank?  Get the fuck outta here Ray J!

Next question – “Where’s Ray J’s favorite place to have sex?”  Caviar said the bedroom!  THE BEDROOM!  That shit was hilarious.  The bedroom though!!  The Darlings are moppin the floor with the Diva’s asses!  This shit was ridiculous.  These bitches been throwin themselves at Ray from the gate, but ain’t learned ONE thing about him!  Pathetic.

Oh Lord have mercy!  The go-go dancer is so sad that her Divas team lost.  This bitch said that she now knows how NFL players feel when they lose in the Superbowl OR how people feel who lose at the Olympics!  This ho can’t even spell Olympics, let alone know how an Olympian feels! 

Ray J took Stilts out in a rented Ferrari.  Are his legs long enough to reach the peddles?  Just askin…Anyway, he took her to the studio with him.  Whoa, what a fuckin fabulous date…NOT!  As they start talkin and shit, he realized that Stilts had a wedding ring on!  Turns out she’s still legally married!  What the fuck?  I mean, she did keep it real wit him, but damn Stilts.  Can you take the fucking ring off BEFORE you go on a date with another man?  Is there one bitch on this show who can use her damn brain?

Sooo, Caviarcalls her “friend” Larry.  Basically, he told her that they’re tryna do some thangs after the show so she needs to stay as many days as possible.  Then Larry asked her if she was really tryna win and marry Ray J.  She laughed and said “you know I’m not”. 

Back at the house, Chardonnay and go-go dancerhook up Ray’s room with candles, rose petals and a note that they have some shit to tell his ass when he gets home.  These bitches can’t hold water in a bucket.  For real, if they are as much the shit as they think, they shouldn’t have to fuckin tattle on the other bitches to hold onto their spot.

Aight, at the champagne ceremony, I will give Chardonnay props.  She straightened that nappy ass curly shit and actually looked nice.  Unique looked good, too.  She’s beautiful.  The Darlings pretty much all looked good, but those two were striking this week!

Ray J puts go-goon the spot and asks her to repeat the shit she told him.  Of course she did, just like a snitchin ass…never mind.  Then Ray put Stilts on blast about being married!  That was fucked up!  He coulda kept that to himself, for real.  That was real bitch like Ray J.  I wouldn’t expect anything more from his little ass.

In the end, it came down to Caviar and Stilts.  He sent Stilts home because she’s married.  I could feel what he was sayin, but he woulda been better off keepin Stilts dumb ass!

A few random, parting thoughts:

–  Why was So Hood wearing barely any clothes with a faux fur coat on?  Is it hot or is it cold?

–  Stilts, if you’re gonna wear the wig, please come it down in the back.

–  Rumors are flying that one of the “women” is a man and another is a porn star.  My man vote is on Caviar’s deep voice, man lookin ass.  My porn vote is on Stilts!  I’ll give ya’ll whatever I find out.   

In a minute…

Comments on: "For the Love of Ray J: Episode 3" (5)

  1. FilterQueen said:

    My only hope with this show is that Reggie Bush sees the dumb ass whose sloppy seconds he is getting.

  2. @FilterQueen – Don’t even get me started on Reggie Bush’s ass or that tramp he’s fucking, I mean dating!

  3. Snitches get stitches…Cocktail is stupid to call out people this early. You gotta save that info for when your ass is on the line, she didn’t have anything to worry about.

  4. @Jen – You got it! Her ass is dumb. Ray J will keep her around for a minute to get the dirt, but he won’t pick her. Nobody likes a snitch. Remember when kids used to get they ass whooped for tattling?

  5. Oh shit, you know what I read today? Danger is pregnant with Ray J’s baby! Google that if you don’t believe it. No indication if she won the show or not, I’ve also read that she’s now engaged to Nick Cannon’s little brother. She claims that her BC pills failed…I call bullshit.

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