Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Let us start off by sayin we plan to eat Tamra Barney’s ass UP throughout this post.  So, if you like this bitch, this ain’t for you!

Can they please stop letting Andy “Boring as Fuck” Cohen host this shit?  Damn.  Ya’ll don’t know how much this fucking show pissed us off.

Aight, Jeana looks like she had something done on her face.  We’re guessing botox because the neck is still a bit wrinkled.  She looks good!  It worked for her. 

Um, was it just Hollywood & Vine or could you cut the tension between Jeana and Tamra/Vicki with a fuckin knife?  They ain’t tight no more, you can tell!  We hope not cuz Jeana is far too good of a person to be hangin with those fucking bitches!

Ya’ll been coming to H&V askin if Kara got her boobs done.  Now you know that she did and you can stop askin us.   

We don’t give a damn what anyone says.  Tamra Barney got work done.  The bitch had cheek implants.  Re-watch the shit!!  The funny thing is, the bitch looks worse than before.  She made herself look older!  With that nappy weave! 

Greedy Gretchen was fierce, period!  Bitch was bad!  Not only that, but she handled that messy, jealous bitch Tamra like the diva she is!  Where does Tacky Tamra get her fucking nerve!  God, this woman needs some serious, serious help.  We ain’t playin!  She has severe issues in her life if she’s spending this much goddamn time worried about Greedy Gretchen and who she might be fuckin!  What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?  She has two little kids, a gay older son and a husband who wants to fuck Jeana’s young daughter.  You would THINK this heffa has more shit to do than worry about Gretchen’s life THIS MUCH! 

Vicki is officially a lost cause!  You know why Vicki is so tight with Tacky Tamra’s ass?  Because she likes to be around a muthafucka who SHE THINKS is beneath her…doing worse than her.  Jeana finally put that overcooked muthafucka out and is moving on dating and shit.  Vicki preferred Jeana when she was taking bullshit and sittin at home depressed and miserable.  Transparent as hell!

We like Lynne just a little bit more after how she fucked up Tamra and Vicki.  That shit was fucking hilarious, tellin them bitches that they ain’t rocket scientists or the brightest bulbs!  Good for her.  You know, that shit got really old, them trashin Lynne like that as if their shit don’t stink!  Vicki needs to worry about her failing marriage instead of whether or not Lynne is a pot head.  Again we ask, what the fuck is wrong with these bitches.   Vicki needs to be more concerned with her empty fucking “love tank”! 

Wait a minute, did Vicki have the nerve to say that she has a nice figure?  Okay, just checkin.  So not only is she a bitch, jealous, messy and miserable, but she’s delusional, too! 

Ultimately, H&V were totally disgusted by Vicki and Tamra, especially!  Their behavior was some of the most evil shit we’ve seen, for real!  Straight up devils!  We were watching in shock that these hoes had the nerve to go out of the way to make Gretchen look bad and ruin her reputation.  They got off on the shit.  Tamra made herself look like the nasty bitch we always knew she was.  Gretchen keeping her cool just magnified Tacky Tamra’s fucked up ass attitude.  She’s better than H&V cuz we woulda had Jeana, Lynne and Andy holdin us back off that bitch!

What we wanna know is how Tamra’s life was effected by Gretchen allegedly being paid to take care of Jeff vs. being his fiancee?  How did that hurt her?  For real, someone tell us how that shit was any of her business? 

Also, Vicki and her self-righteous fat ass!  She acted like her kids were angels.  News flash crazy bitch, Michael and that trash stayin with ya’ll for the summer most definitely fucked in your house!  Michael definitely drank in your house before he was 21 years old!  Michael and Brianna have talked more shit about you on camera than Shane ever has (on camera) about Jeana!  So, take your fucking nose out the air and stop acting like you are this perfect, holier than thou person cuz you’re far from it!

We mighta missed some shit, but we know our readers will mention what we forgot!

What did ya’ll think of this shit?

Don’t forget to follow H&V on Twitter (hollywoodNvine).

In a minute…

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Comments on: "Real Housewivees of OC Confess: Reunion Special" (27)

  1. thebaddest said:

    ALL these bitches need to get lives. PERIOD. Do any of them have anything of substance to partake in and discuss besides real vs. fake boobs? We need “real” Real Housewives…They need to revamp the entire series and get some relatable women…

  2. If TV cameras had been allowed at the Nuremberg trials, I think they would have been the only opportunity to have seen a worse collection of human beings than those who populate the Real Housewives shows.

    And I can’t. stop. watching them.

    P.S. I’m no Tamra fan, but a few questions come to mind.

    Who is this “supposed Gretchen’s boyfriend” and why would he have Tamra’s number? And what the fuck is so appealing about sleeping with Slade Fucking Smiley?

    You know life is bad when even people from Wisconsin commonly refer to Orange County as “trash with cash.”

  3. Girl, you are so right, I am scared of you! You read them Hoes right. But did you not see Lauri put on the bravest face about her son, I know it is soo hard for her

  4. @the baddest – We agree. They seriously need lives, especially Vicki and Tacky Tamra. We wouldn’t mind seeing them revamp the show with ACTUAL housewives. Technically, none of them are but Lauri and she don’t fuck with them or the show no more.

  5. @Kate – You’re right…and we can’t stop watching either. Gretchen’s supposed boyfriend is Jay Photoglou. Google him and you’ll find pics of him and Greedy Gretchen. We don’t know what’s so special about fucking Slade. He looks real soft after letting the world see Jo walk all over his ass and he just ran (drove) after her like a puppy dog. Not manly, not cute. We ain’t from Wisconsin, but we love “trash with cash” and plan to steal that. Thanks, Kate!

  6. @Joy – We agree about Lauri. She did try to be strong and supportive of her son. We can’t even call him names cuz it seems like he’s tryna get his shit together. Notice Lauri doesn’t fuck with ANY of them unless the show needs her around, like for the finale. Everyone thought Lauri was the loser of the group. Looks like she’s the one with the most fucking sense.

  7. Who cares if Gretchen is seeing a new man! She is young and gorgeous
    ! It’s so funny to me that Tamra tried so hard to make Gretchen looked bad and it just made me love Gretchen that much more. I could tell how much she loved Jeff and I don’t even know her. The “mystery” guy will sure as hell try to come out with some fake ass stories because he is getting a little attention now. I wonder if Tamra and the guy had something going on because why would he have kept calling her phone after that one night???? I would love to see some stories dug up about Tamra, not that I care because she is boring and old as hell, but to see this back fire on her! Ha now that would be funny!

  8. @Sabrina – THANK YOU! You get it. You know what, if Gretchen is seeing dude, that’s her damn business. Should she stop living because Jeff did? We ain’t tryna sound harsh, but it’s true! Shit, everybody grieves differently, period!

    We loved Greedy Gretchen even more, too! Tamra made herself, and Vicki, look like two jealous old hags! Gretchen was cool as a fan. We love this shit. You know, H&V are just pissed enough to see what we can find about Tacky Tamra’s haggard ass!

  9. Hell yes, dig that shit up H&V! Tamra was ridiculous but it made for some juicy TV. I also agree about her weave…her scull looked square, wtf? You’re right about Andy Cohen being boring…who the hell is that guy anyway?

  10. I agree, Tamra and Vicki are biotches. I can’t believe that Vicki had the nerve to tell Lynn that she has hurt their feelings also…when? when? pray tell me when was Lynne mean? I think that Gretchen is as pretentious as Vicki and Tamra…and yes, Vicki kids, esp. Michael have been just as disprectful to her as Shane was to Jeanna (not letting Shane off the hook though). What about the episode where Vicki surprised Michael by showing up at college. And that stupid bitch just cried!!! Come on….Vicki is soo freakin needy,,,get over it! I’m no Gretchen fan, but Vicki and Tamra are jealous of her. Vicki wants to be the center of attention and therefore she gets bent out of shape when Gretchen is the center of attention!

  11. SoulJourneys622 said:

    I LOVE IT! Ya’ll are the truth with this one…except for one thing…to hell with Lauri and her son, I do not feel sorry for Josh or her. He is an addict just like the crackhead on the corner and i refuse to be all teary eyed over him fucking up his life and hurting others in the process. Good for her to be there for him, but I am not interested in her drug tales. He had everything and chose to fuck up so no I do not feel sorry for him. Also, Lauri has a petty side as witnessed whenever she comes back to the show so I am not a fan. Ya’ll hit it squarely about the Gretchen/Jeff issue. I feel like this…there are a whole lot of bitches out here giving the dugout up scott free and doing everything to hold onto a loser…don’t hate on GG because she made some paper and had fun. Plus, in the scheme of things who cares? Jeff is gone and he was dibilitated so if she got some she got some…so what? Tamara needs to like you said worry about herself. Her and Vicki always look unkempt to me like they stink. I think Kara and Simon already had a session and Briana and michael need to get out while they can. Vicki is neurotic and irritating as hell…I am so glad the WooHoo is done for a bit. Jeana is the queen of COTA and I think Lynne may surprise everyone next season. Thanks again for breaking it down…I love this blog!

  12. @Jen – We STILL don’t know who the hell Andy Cohen is! Anyone? Anyone?

  13. @Chris T – Yeah, Vicki has selective memory. Michael didn’t even want her ass around…still don’t!

    @SoulJourney – We feel you on Josh and Lauri. Yeah, he’s an addict, albeit recovering. But he is supposedly trying to get his act together. Even we can’t talk shit about him at this point and we obviously talk about errrbody!

    We agree about Gretchen and Jeff. Trust, all of those “housewives”, even Jeana as much as we love her, have given it up for free to a piece of trash! Shit, just look at how Vicki talks about her ex-husband. Jeff was a grown ass man, God rest his soul, and he knew that 30 year old hot blond wasn’t with him cuz of his personality. If he likes it, they should love it and mind their own damn business!

    Thank YOU for breaking it down!

  14. runwithwind said:

    Andy Cohen is a VP with Bravo network. Lauri is about as ugly as anyone can get. Her lips keep getting bigger, her face keeps getting sweatier and her chin keeps getting longer. What a fucked up bitch she is and she is no mother of the year. She likes to talk trash about being a mother of 7 kids now and she mentioned on the reunion that she has to deal with kids vomiting, diahrea, wiping buts and all that….. who the fuck is she trying to kid. Josh is / was in jail and is living in a halfway house. Slayte left well over a year ago and has nothing to do with George (three Chins). Ashley/trashley has her own place and and George’s (three chins) other daughters are living with their mother. That leaves just one fucking kid living with her, Sophie, and she’s beyond the age of diapers and needing her mommy to wipe her hiney. Would someone tell Lauri to just go the fuck away so we don’t vomit in our mouths every time we see those swollen lips.

    Can’t wait to see the dirt come out about Simon and Tamra and believe me, it will. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and for all the stones that Tamra has been shit tossing, there will be a magnitude of boulders winging back at her.
    Finally, Vicki. That pig snout biotch is one ugly ugly ugly, did I say ugly creature. She’s always sticking her bottom lip out, sucking those huge Mr. Ed teeth and her pig snout is always arched up in the air at about a 45 degree angle. I’d give you the actual calculations but everytime I get near the screen with my protractor, I go into a seizure for fear of being sucked into one of those nostrils like a bird strike to an airplane engine. She needs to quit the show and dig up some truffles.

  15. @Run – Doesn’t George have another kid near Sophie’s age? So that would leave them with 2 whole kids at home. Tough times. Andy Cohen needs to stick to VP-ism cuz he is no host! If Lauri has any more plastic surgery, she’s gonna look like Joan Rivers! Do you see them lips? The skin above her upper lip is already being affected. She better quit!

    You’re right about the karma waitin on Tacky Tam and Simon. I think Kate (above) said Simon and Kara mighta had a session already. We wouldn’t doubt it. Anyone that worried about another bitch has plenty of issues and skeletons stuffed up in her hall closet! Tam probably needs a portable closet to hold some of her bullshit! The truth is comin’!!

  16. i agree with all of you tamra is so annoying and jealous, i hope all of this backfires on her too! and i agree with you too about gretchen being more adorable than ever after that drunken night at tamRAAs. I also wondered how did jay get haggard tamras phone number. tamra and vickie both make me sick. simon, ryan and the witch tamra all need to face criminal charges for what they tried to do to gretchen, which only made me love gretchen more too. Gretchen is fun and beautiful, and jeff knew exactly what he was doing, whats wrong with an older man who has money wanting the company of a lively person like gretchen to cheer him up while he is battling an exhausting disease. shame on tamra, i hope her husband dumps her, seems like kara might be after the older father figure type that she never had.

  17. A Very Reliable Source said:

    TAMMY SEEMS TO FORGET ABOUT HER STRIPPER DAYS BEFORE SIMON.
    SHE HAS ALOT OF NERVE TO JUDGE GRETCHEN!! TAMMY MAKES VICKI SEEM LIKE A ANGEL.

  18. Does anyone know where Tamra worked before marrying Simon?

  19. Maureen said:

    I saw the reunion show last night. I was shocked. Vicki and Tamara sat there and rolled their eyes everytime someone else has something to say. They are horrible human beings. I hate to judge others especially about physical apperance but Tamara’s hair just looks like “old people hair”, so dried out and nasty. She is the most troubled person. I think it is ironic that Vicki and Tamara are the people that are so needy when it comes to being loved by their “parents or family members” but they are the most unloving unkind people to all others they come in contact with. They need some serious help. I really hope Tamara was a stripper before she met Simon. I hope someone digs up some dirt on her so she knows how it feels when people find out the truth about something done in her past that is embarrasing or devestating. Tamara and Vicki are horrible and now their children, neighbors, friends and others know who they really are.

  20. Tamra; you are a very jealous girl and evil. You came off like a real nasty woman. You should kep your comments to yourself! You also suck up big time to Vickie. You seem like your afraid o her! Remember how you were when you first came on the show. You were meek! I think you treat the new girls horribly. What are you back in high school??

  21. TAMMY AND RYAN REMINDED ME OF A HYENA TRING TO TAKE DOWN THEIR PREY GRETCHEN, AT HER DINNER PARTY.

  22. @Maureen – Good point about Tacky Tam and Vick! That’s probably why they’re jealous of Gretchen. She still has her youth and her family in tact…the two things that Tacki (tamra/vicki) want more than anything!

  23. Jo Jo Beans said:

    Let Tamra know your thoughts!!

    tabarney@aol.com

    949-388-6081

  24. @Jo Jo Beans – You are a fool for that LOL! If we thought Tacky Tam would speak with us after all the shit we talked about her, H&V would call. But she’s too chicken shit to have an interview w/two bitches like us.

    If anyone calls or emails Tacky Tam, let H&V know what happens.

  25. Maureen said:

    Another point…I went on the chef’s website blog (who prepared the dinner at the Barney’s house) and he stated that not only were Tamra and her son after Gretchen that night, but he also stated that Simon was in on it too. It was a set up plan before the evening started to set up Gretchen. If you watch that particular show you can see Simon telling Gretchen to drink her shots. The chef also stated that he was confused b/c Ryan didn’t pour one drink that night (remember that he was supposed to be helping bartend). So Tamra and Simon set up Gretchen to get wasted and screw around with their pimped out son. So does this constitute them as pimps or just really horrible parenting. BOTH I think. On another note, I hope people discontinue using Vicki for their “insurance needs” as she puts it. I hope these two nasties get fired from the show. I hope they are reading these comments and feeling bad. Funny thing about bad people, they never feel bad or guilty about how they treat others, but they are the first to cry when somone is not nice to them. The bullies are always the first to cry…

  26. tammy seems to forget about her stripper days before simon.
    she has alot of nerve to judge gretchen.

  27. @Brenda – Seems like you know Tacky Tam. Give up the goods!

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