Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Yeah, yeah, the show was on 2 days ago.  Just sittin down so we can watch now.  Here we go…

The bitches are at the beach!  Everyone but Simex and Kelly, thankfully!  Only Jill Zarin would wear tons of jewelry to sit and watch Bethenny and Countess Lu take surf lessons.  Love that bitch! 

Ramona told Jill she keeps in shape by doing lunges, but was doing a fucking squat.  This broad is nuts!  What we don’t get about Ramona is that she does squats and shit to keep her ass and legs tight, but her mid section is about to be outta control?

Countess Lu’s slave, we mean housekeeper, Rosie, is back from the Filipines.  She looked great and lost weight, probably cuz she didn’t have Countess Lu money to eat good and shit.  How is Lu gonna tell Rosie that they’ll take it easy her first day back, then threw her into the fire known as the laundry room and shit?  Then she had the nerve to be rude as shit when Rosie gave her that bracelet calling it “fun”.  Translation – look at this cheap ass costume jewelry the maid brought me.

Did Ramona really sit there and challenge Countess Lu about her choice to send her kid to boarding school?  This is a nervy ass bitch!  We’re all for Ramona being honest and speakin her mind.  Obviously!  But she just beat that fuckin dead horse until Jill Zarin changed the subject.  Ramona is just tacky as shit.  She is living proof that money doesn’t buy class!  Everytime she opens her mouth!

Now Countess Lu knew good and hell well Jill Zarin wasn’t gonna hang with all that damn fitness.  She invited her on purpose to make herself feel better.  Gotta love Jill cussin and wearin a t-shirt with her company name on it. 

Over to the Hamptons dump that Simon and his beard, Alex, are renting!  Why must they always brag?  This fool was even braggin about all the fucking spa treatments he’s had!  They’re ridiculous.  Um, did anyone else think that Simon was about to orgasm while moaning “I’m feeling the heeeat!  I’m feeling the heeeeat!”  We’re with Ramona on this one – he makes our skin crawl, too!

On to the Hampton Classic and Kelly’s boring ass!  We can’t put our finger on it, but she is just way to full of herself.  Guess her horse felt the same way cuz he through her ass off during her ride!

Countess Lu had a going away lunch for Victoria and her homegirls while at the Hamptons Classic.  She is a cold piece of work teachin manners and etiquette, but getting up at a benefit and telling muthafuckas to shut up!  We think she just likes to hear herself talk.

Jill’s gay husband looked like one of the Village People gettin ready for the Tea Dance where they don’t serve any damn tea!  Bethenny is funny as hell and was the only person there with rhythm!  The best part about the party was when she was dancin with the gay guy outside the tent and bent over in front of him.  We ain’t seen a man move away from a woman that fast since Jack Twist in Brokeback Mountain!  He was lookin like honey, unless you have a dick the world don’t know about, you need to stand up!  For real, she and Jill need their own show.   

Back at the Classic, Ramona was there lookin like Julia Roberts on the Blvd. in Pretty Woman.  Why was she jockin Kelly like that?  Kelly ain’t want no parts of Ramona, probably cuz she looked like a hooker!  They should be friends cuz they’re both rude as shit.  They deserve each other.  Here goes Ramona talkin about bad manners!  These bitches are living in another world.

Love them at Russell Simmons’ Art for Life event.  Why the fuck didn’t anyone follow the purple theme besides Jill and Bobby Vegas?  What happened after that with Ramona and Governor Patterson is too embarrassing for even us to discuss.  She’s a fucking idiot!

Everyone was back at the Classic to see Victoria ride.  Ramona didn’t come, of course, cuz she can’t deal with someone else’s kid having talent!

They really need to bring it better this season.  We need coffee and sugar just to get through these damn episodes.  Thank God for Bethenny and Jill, otherwise we’d be fast asleep!  Millionaire Matchmaker is more exciting!

Random thoughts:

– Ramona, close your mouth when your eatin boo.  That shit was gross.

– Love that Countess Lu came unglued, yellin at the Count and shit!

– We really want Jill’s daughter to get her weight in check.  She’s too cute for all that!

Don’t forget to follow H&V on Twitter (hollywoodNvine).

In a minute…

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Comments on: "Real Housewives of NYC: Episode 3" (5)

  1. I gotta talk about their hair.

    Jill. First of all, Her hair looks the BEST out of all the ladies, it’s shiny, healthy and I love the cut/color. She even looked flawless even at the horse show, and you know that can’t be easy!

    Countess. I used to like her hair last season, but she’s staring to look more and more like Carol Brady…a very scary Brady.

    Ramona. Dear lord what is up with her hair in the back? When she’s having her embarrassing scene with the NY governor, there’s extra long chunk on the side and then it’s all straggly and missing in the middle. Get that shit trimmed!

    Bethenny. Her hair is okay, but she needs some light brown highlights or something, the black is too severe.

    Kelly. Girl needs to buy a comb. It can be a Ralph Lauren comb or whatever if it has to be, but that chica needs to brush that shit.

    Alex. Okay, I hate her, but I’m glad she finally got a haircut since last season. I guess Simon finally gave her permission.

    Simon (since he is the 7th housewife) …His hair looks like a styrofoam helmet. WTF? Sponge Bob Square Pants.

    Those are my random thoughts. Over all, they still have better hair than the OC Ladies. Goes to show you just need to put the peroxide down…I’m talking to you Tamera!

  2. Gotta agree with you especially about Bethenny, Kelly and Alex. I did notice Alex got a hair cut. It looks better. Kelly looks like she has a birds nest weave on her damn head! Bethenny definitely needs some softer, bangin ass hair to contrast w/her strong face and match that body! – Vine

  3. tracivega said:

    To Jen512— I agree I love Jills hair. I actually e-mailed her to ask her who does her hair and she is such a sweetie she actually answered my e-mail a couple hours later. She gets her hair done by Gil Ferrer. I actually made an appointment with him. I don’t have $$$$ like those ladies, but I’m gonna treat myself for my b-day.

  4. Have you guys noticed that Simon is the only one of the husbands that has his own interview blurbs? I never see Bobby, the Count or What’s-his-name Ramona’s husband talking into the cameras. What’s up with that? Do you think he just gets extra camera time because he’s creepy?

  5. @Jen – Yeah. We think it’s cuz he’s such a damn freak and he gladly let’s Bravo exploit his ass! Bobby Vegas and Mario know better AND have shit to do!

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