Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Haven’t we all been waiting for Brandy to appear on this shit?  I hope that she redeems the Norwood fam with this episode, but I ain’t holdin’ my breath.

Down to the Funky Four!  Danger is still bitchin’ about Uniqua being a whore.  How the fuck would she know?  The bitch has a tat on her face AND claimed tonight that she’s in love with Ray.  You ain’t even known this nigga for 3 months.  How are you in love?  She’s crazy, just like Unique’s fat ass said.

Ray came in and asked the Funky Four to write down yes/no questions that can be posed to the others.  Obviously gettin’ ready for the lie detector test.  He’s so slick.  NOT.   

Aight, whoever answers the largest number of questions honestly gets a date with Lil Man. 

Brandy’s asking the questions.  Uniqua is up first!  She fucked up, period!  The other three did her dirty with the questions.  She deserved nothing less if you ask me.

Cocktail is up.  She ain’t do much better.  What threw Ray off the most was when she fessed up to needing a man to “complete her”.  I hate that fucking sayin’.  Bitches get on my nerves with that shit.  He didn’t like it, either.  Oh, she lied when she said she ain’t a gold digger!

Chardonnay and her Jodi Watley hoops are next.  Bitch was honest!  She didn’t seem to lie about a damn thang!  I ain’t mad at her.

Danger and the few screws she has left are on.  She admits to being in love with at least one of her exes AND that she dated someone for money!  THIS BITCH IS CRAZY AS FUCK!  She broke down cuz all her damn crazy shit came out during her session!  Here are some of the highlights:

– she’s thought about killing the other girls in the house

– she’s had a restraining order filed against her by an ex-boyfriend

– she’s stalked an ex-boyfriend

– she’s been called crazy before

Brandy looked like she was wondering why the hell her brother even kept the bitch around that long!  If he keeps her after this week, I don’t feel sorry for shit that this crazy, tattoo on the face ass broad might do to him before this season is over.  For real!  MURDER?  I’m hella cool!

Chardonnay ultimately won the solo date with Lil Man.  She’s so extra the way she talks and shit.  Ghetto shit.  Anyway, at dinner Ray said she has the “homie vibe” and her dick got soft.  I think he’s tryna clean it up, but I can’t tell.  So he decided to take her to a strip club.  How original!  One dolla says she gets own da pole!

Yep, the DJ asked Ray to get her own da pole!  Sooo Chardonnay said she’d do one trick for her man.  If I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes, I wouldn’t believe the shit.  This bitch climbed up to the TOP of the pole like she was in boot camp and dropped down into the splits!  Ray J looked like he came in his pants and if you watched the shit, you know I ain’t lyin’. 

Once he got back to the house, Danger made sure to soften his dick by crying and talkin’ about her feelings.  This nigga just came from watchin’ Chardonnay drop from the damn ceiling into the splits to this shit?  Get the fuck outta here crazy!

Ray gathers his herd cuz he claims to not need another day to make his choice.  He’s gonna make the cut tonight!  They all sweatin’ like whores in church.  Even Uniqua and her necks were lookin’ like Jello.

Oh Lawd, they all look a mess!  Well, Go-Go Dancin’ Gold Digger looked better than the rest.  Unique looked like an usher dressed up for Pastor’s Appreciation Day, Chardonnay said fuck it and threw on the same shit from her pole dancin’ date and Danger looks like a wild animal!

Cocktail..stayin’.  Uniqua…stayin’…It’s down to Chardonnay and Danger – the home girl or the crazy girl.  Which one does he wanna fuck more?  Not Chardonnay/Christa!  He sent her back to the A!  She’ll definitely be the most popular stripper at Magic City now!

Why is Danger wearin’ a dress with hr back fat showin?  Ray thinks that the competition is getting to her…that she’s a good person and NOT crazy!  Aight, then he’s officially crazy, too! 

Next week it’s down to the Triflin’ Three!  Danger gets caught up while meeting Ray’s friend.  Looks like she’s fucked a few of ’em!  This shit is too funny!

…Vine..in a minute


Comments on: "For the Love of Ray J Recap: 3/30/09" (5)

  1. This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

  2. Brittany said:

    OMG! you are too crazy. Yes why did danger funny lipped self stay? I can’t stand her. I actually like Unique the best. that’s just me though. I can’t wait to see next weeks episope. I didn’t like Chardonay’s quick weave. You didn’t comment on how Brandy cut dat @ss off when Danger started kissing her booty.

  3. @Brittany – I used to love Unique, too, until she let her true colors come out in the confessional. That turned me off and she’s been on my shit list ever since.

    Why didn’t Chardonnay realize that her weave looked way better straightened than “wet & wavy”?

    You’re right. I did notice Brandy cut her off. That was hilarious. Brandy acted like she didn’t even hear her. Not even a thank you LMAO!

  4. I can’t believe he sent Chardonnay home after she won the challenge. That made no sense to me. He should have gotten rid of Unique for lying so much, period.

    Lol, and you are so right, he totally came in his pants when he saw Chardonnay slide down that pole…yet she’s still just a homie. I’m still scratching my head over that one.

  5. @Jen – It made no sense to me either. The only thing I can figure is that he’s doing this shit to end up with the obvious wrong person. Then it won’t work out and a 2nd season makes sense to people who still believe this shit isn’t scripted!

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