Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

I know it’s late, but this is a live blog for me!  Let’s get to it.

They start off with Ramona offering Kelly a ticket to the Badgley Mischka fashion show during Fashion Week.  My question is, why doesn’t this bitch already have tickets if she’s so fucking fly?  Kelly is the first one to toot her own damn horn about how important she is, but she gets tickets from Ramona to a fashion show?  Why?  Cuz she’s frontin’, that’s why! 

NO SHE DIDN’T!  No Kelly didn’t say that bad manners are disgusting to her.  Okay, then what the fuck does she call beating up her own boyfriend?  Is that shit good manners?  This bitch is out of her mind! 

Now Kelly is talkin’ shit about Bethenny!  I know that we have some white girls who read our blog and I don’t mean to offend, but ya’ll know good and fuck well that some of your counterparts play this passive aggressive ass game and it’s irritating!  Kelly is one of those bitches.  This whole passive aggressive I don’t know why Bethenny doesn’t like me act is bogus!  That’s why dealin’ with sistas is a lot easier…but I digress!

Over at Casa de Zarin…Jill and Bobby Vegas are liking everything Jill’s gay husband is doing at this point!  Brad has even gone over budget and Bobby Vegas doesn’t give a shit.  How can you not love this man?

Oh Lawd, over to Simex and their weird science ass kids!  Simon told the cameras that he can keep a lot of info in his brain.  Shit, he should be able to considering the only other thing in life he does is manage a hotel!

Aww shit!  They just advertised the Real Housewives of New Jersey FINALLY!  I know these 5 bitches are going to be over the top, ghetto and entertaining!  I’m talkin’ ATL housewives level…WATCH!

Back to Kelly and Bethenny!  Why does this bitch always look like a low budget piece of trash?  Ya’ll know I’m talkin’ about Kelly.  Bitch sat down and had a fucked up ass foul attitude from jump!  THIS is why they didn’t have these types of confrontations during the Atlanta season…cuz a bitch (Kelly) would’ve gotten her ass beat or at LEAST slapped, talkin’ to somebody like that.  Why the fuck would you invite someone to cocktails to tell them ya’ll ain’t friends when you were never friends in the first fuckin’ place?  I hope Bethenny throws her drink on this opportunistic bitch before the scene is over…for real!

This Kelly bitch met up with a man named Max Max!  Bitch had rolls at her knee caps!  Instead of talkin’ about Bethenny while on a date, she shoulda paid more attention to her gay date!  She said she was unsettled by the get together, but SHE is the one who asked Bethenny for the meeting!  Um, am I the only one who sees how fuckin’ nuts this hip-less bitch is?

Meanwhile, Ramona has bullied Bethenny into hangin’ with her and watchin’ Mario play golf.  Fucking snoozeville!  While there, they discuss the whole HipLESS Heffa fiasco!  Ramona knows Bethenny is being truthful, but she refuses to take sides cuz she thinks Kelly MIGHT help her progress in society somehow.  These bitches are transparent as a damn windshield!

At dinner, Mario and Ramona decided it was talk shit about Jill Zarin day!  Mario was bitchin’ about how Jill Zarin doesn’t do shit but shop, travel and eat.  So the fuck what!  If Bobby Vegas can afford for HIS wife to look good while chillin’ or sittin’ at home, then who gives a shit?  Mario, don’t hate cuz you have to send your wife to work every morning with that gut.

Anyway, Ramona is mad that Kelly wrote an article on the BM Fashion Show cuz she invited her and she used to be the fashion writer…in her own mind!  Get over it honey!

Back over to the Kelly and the soon to be ex-Countess Lu on their way to a Page Six Party, she’s STILL talkin’ about Bethenny.  Funny that she’s up HERE and Bethenny is down THERE, yet she’s still thinking about her.  Get over yourself, jealous bitch!  Even Countess Lu told her she was out of line.

Oh Lord, the gangs all there back in effect…even down to Simex lyin’ asses!  Aight, I’m gonna say it.  Jill Zarin and Mario have a sick and twisted sexual chemistry!  For real ya’ll!  Sure, some of it is jealousy on his part, but not all.  He WISHES Jill Zarin were his wife for just one day and as sexy as Bobby Vegas is, she wants Mario for about an hour!  Did ya’ll peep this shit between them?  Sexual frustration bitches!  Mario is worse than Kelly talkin’ bout he ain’t thinkin’ about Jill Zarin, yet he’s still runnin’ his mouth to SIMON of all people!  The Singers are two fake as muthafuckas!

It wouldn’t be Simex and Ramona unless an argument started.  Ramona explained that she basically hates them cuz she invited their social climbing wannabe asses to a celeb packed NY event and they didn’t show them the courtesy of informing that Alex had nude photos coming out two days later.  Ramona felt like that tarnished her rep.  Um, I feel her, but ain’t nobody thinkin’ that much about you Ramona.  Sorry babe!

Ya’ll won’t believe this, but I gotta go with Simex on this one…especially Simon!  The Van Kempens were right, PERIOD!  Ramona is a fucking hypocrite drama queen who needs to get a damn grip.

Excuse me for a minute, but that muthafucka Bobby Vegas is sexy as shit! 

In closing I have four words for ya’ll…KICK HIS ASSSS WAYNE! 

What did ya’ll think of last night’s episode?  And Jizzle, can I get some credit for being ON TIME with this week’s recap since you’re always hazing me LOL!!

…Vine…in a minute



Comments on: "Real Housewives of NYC: Bethenny vs. Kelly" (22)

  1. Kelly is a crazy bitch! I happen to be one of your white girl readers and you hit the nail on the head with that passive aggressive shit! I would love to see Kelly say that to Lisa or Sheree on HW of ATL. I don’t know how Bethanny didn’t throw her drink on her and walk out. She was probably afraid Kelly and those line backer sized shoulders would come after her!

    Over to the Page Six party…Bobby Vegas is sexy in that older man, slicked back hair sort of way! I think the fact that he treats Jill amazing adds to his sexiness!

  2. @Jizzle – Believe it or not, I’m glad I didn’t offend you LOL! Kelly is totally crazy and now I see how she coulda whooped her boyfriend’s ass! Lisa and Sheree woulda mopped the floor with her ass! And don’t even think about what NeNe woulda done!! Bethenny showed what a class act she is. That she is really the one up HERE while Kelly is down in the gutter! And LOL @ line backer shoulders! Her shape is fucked up isn’t it?

    Totally agree about Bobby Vegas, especially about how he treats Jill. Love it!

  3. Michele said:

    Love the H & V. I found you after the OC/reunion shootout and now I read frequently. Thanks for such a speedy post.

    Totally with you on all of this with no exceptions. I never thought that Simon could get my vote for anything especially after that “and the chains fall right here under her breasts” comment from last week, but Ramona and Mario must be stopped.

    Bethenny and Kelly? As soon as I saw the intro I thought, “dead bitch walking in pink boots” and as soon as I saw the segment I thought, “That’s it. Stick a fork in the freak – Kelly is over.” Kell-amity keeled over and we can mark the hour of its demise by this blog archive. I was reserving judgment on Kellamity because I thought that a lot of this was just a set-up on the part on Bravo. Maybe they wanted to bolster Ramona’s status on the show by bringing in a major player for her to hang out with and be fabulous around to rival the Team Jill craze, but JHC. If she’s a good judge of character then she failed kindergarten by going after Bethenny and saying that Ramona gives off a good energy. What a dolt. Or was that comment just a “foil” for the reality genre.

    And yes Bobby is sexy. He’s got that bear power thing going on. You know he’s tough and all that jazz, but he’s still stuffed with fluff and totally cuddly. Bobby supports his wife and doesn’t get all attention whore on us in this show. You know when he’s on camera it’s because he was asked by his wife to do his bit for her on the show. Mario? He throws shit at his wife from the Porsche she probably bought him while inserting himself into the storyline in a way Simon could never even imagine.

    I just hope it gets a lot worse and your blog posts remain just the same because they really couldn’t get any better. Thanks again.

  4. hahah Michele, I totally agree with your that H&V post some good stuff! I too check back all the time!

    I TOTALLY forgot about the breasts comment Simon made last week! OMG, I was dying when he said that. My husband happened to get suckered into watching with me that episode and he was like ‘Damn, he’s gay whose that her brother?’….no straight man would make a comment like that! I have nothing against gay people, just time for Simon and his pink linen pants to come out of closet!

  5. @Michele Please tell me that Simon did not say “and the chains fall right here under her breasts” last week? I still haven’t seen it. Guess I’ll need to watch and review today!

  6. @Michele – I love our readers’ senses of humor! Hilarious. I agree with all that about Bobby Vegas and Mario. I wish he would throw dog shit at me! Nasty ass.

    No worries! Our blog will remain the samel…..no matter how much hate mail we get!

  7. Absolutely, the comment was accompanied by the most groan worthy hand gesture I have seen in many many years – and I live in Massachusetts so that’s a high bar. He’s standing behind Alex as all four of them look in the mirror or at the dresses or something and he lays his hands out like he’s cupping her breasts when he says it. You really should try to catch a rebroadcast if you can bear it because it was rough and you need to see the way he said it to appreciate the repulsiveness. .

    And I’m not sure which episode it was exactly; it was the one where Silex goes to the store in Brooklyn offering us another “foil” for Miss Jill’s Zang Toi shindig.

    But I got to say in this episode Silex comes off pretty damn sweet against Ramario.

  8. And PS, I know you guys are super busy and cover a lot of shows, but just FYI Bethenny is being trolled by a Kellamity acolyte over at Bravo on Kelly’s new blog entry. I don’t know which is more insulting the all caps comments from “one who knows” or the postings about the back story here. I for one think that B seriously has a screw loose with Kelly but that is totally irrelevant. Kelly screwed up in front of the cameras all by her lonesome. But hey, “everybody else like her,” so it just must be us peasants out her in the provinces that have it all wrong.


    Miss skinnygirl bagged a panther old school last night with a kill shot right between those fiercely sparkling and much in demand Bensimon brown eyes.

    What I want to know is if Kelly is so friggin smart and connected and socially adept in her life of fabulosity then why go on the rampage against what any idiot or underpaid PA could tell you is one of the most well liked women on the tube today in the reality genre. The woman is a writer. Is it too much to ask that she also be able to read?

    Bethenny played her like a virtuoso fiddling a Mozart piece they’ve practicing their whole damn lives. What a “maroon.” Did you see the horror and shock that Luann was trying to mask in the car on the way to the party? Luann said something like, “she must be so angry,” about Bethenny. But she forgot to let slip ” … that you will be roadkill 1 hour after that segment airs, dahlink, big mistake. Huge mistake. Let us all know where to send the flowers. You’re wroth an FTD bereavement bouquet. ” One bouquet coming right up Countess.

    I also read that she’s selling her house out in the Hamptons and speculation that the alimony is going to run out soon so that’s why she’s on the show in the first place, but whatever Kellamity is selling I ain’t buying. Have a nice life Kel. We hardly knew ya.

    Don’t let the hate mail get you down. You’re passionate about this and that really comes across in the writing. I really appreciate that in your postings.

  9. Michele said:

    @JIZZLE. And the hand gesture. That was the absolute worst.

    My husband is starting to make random comments about some of these bitches too. Like out of the blue at the dinner table and stuff. And he doesn’t even watch the show but occasionally he’ll hear something from the other room or catch a minute when I’m watching and he stops and just looks at me like, “okay so the world is obviously coming to an end – at least we had Paris.” So it’s not just your husband, these shows really can suck anyone in.

    ANd you’re right, no straight man would make a comment like that. He’d totally be thinking, “hmmmm how are the tits going to look in that exactly. I’d have to see it on.” But he would never say it out loud. He’d use his inside voice.

    Gay. Straight. Kellamity. Discountess. Ramario. These people are on some serious pharmaceuticals. All of them.

    Dear Santa, please get me some of the drugs these people obviously use daily. I’ve been good and that kind of happiness in a bottle might be just the prescription for some happy living.

  10. @Michele – LMAO! If Santa delivers to you, let us know!

  11. I did mean to give you props for the on time review! And make sure you catch that that re-run to see Simons cuppage of the tatas! Jill’s super flamboyant designer friend is a trip on that episode.

    Do you guys for real get hate mail? I don’t get it. . If they don’t like what you’ve got to say then get the hell off your page!

  12. hahahaha as you can tell me and the touch screens don’t work well. . . That shit took me like 15 minutes to write and I inserted my name as nozzle!

  13. @Jizzle – No need to catch the rerun; I still have that episode on tivo. Just haven’t watched it.

    Yep, we get hate mail. People call us homophobic, racist, foul mouthed, low budget black bitches! People need to lighten the hell up. We aren’t hardly any of those things BUT black LOL!

  14. katester said:

    Love your blog!!
    Tis true about passive agressive white gals!
    And the word for Bobby is debonaire.
    Love him.
    Love my Bethenny and hated when B mentioned that Kelly was late and Kelly says, “that’s too bad!”
    Kelly, you called the meeting. You are not the only person on earth!

  15. @Jizzle. So funny. I can’t even read or write anymore myself. If my mouse isn’t cutting and pasting it’s definitely going to get ugly.

    @H&V. I can only imagine what lands in your inbox. Sucks. Don’t let the haters get you down, there’s a lot more lovers out here because there’s so much BS everywhere in this world that sometimes you’ve just got to call it out.

  16. @Katester – Thanks! Kelly has a lot of damn nerve. She calls the damn meeting then acts like a diva showin’ up late and shit! Bethenny showed a lot of restraint cuz Hollywood or I would’ve cussed her out!

    @Michele – Thanks for the positivity. I know, ironic that I’m talkin’ about positivity as much shit as I talk LOL! This is how H & I see things. Like you said, don’t read it if you don’t like it!

    – Vine

  17. Can’t sleep. So I blog.

    I watched this episode again and noticed that during the apt. scene with Jill and Bobby that the guy has a pen in his hand the whole fucking time. What does that mean? It means he was probably only there to write checks. Can you stand it.

  18. @Michele – LMAO! I didn’t notice that, but you’re right…I can’t stand it. Love the guy!

  19. Thank You, thank you. etc., I’ve found home. Absolutely the best blogging I’ve read about NYC show. I needed the laughs and kindred souls.
    The blog about “sticking a fork and FYD flowers” is a hoot.
    thank you all again

  20. has anyone noticed Kelly does not seem connected mentally to conversations?

  21. @Patti – You’re welcome! Make yourself at home. Yeah, Kelly does seem totally disconnected from conversation. She might be on something. I don’t put shit passed anyone nowadays! – Vine

  22. Michele said:

    @patti. Good shit on this show. Love the H & V. Totally on Kelly and I’ll go you one better. She watched the same show we all did and then she writes a damn blog titled “Taking the High Road” over at Bravo. Does not compute. She not only can’t engage in the moment she can’t even see the crazy after the fact.

    Couple of tidbits I gathered in anticipation of tonight’s show, just FYI.

    First, Bethenny was on Bonnie Hunt Show. I TIVO’d it. MissB still has the claws out for Kelly but seems Kelly has thrown up the white flag. Guess you only have to tell that Bitch on stilts a million times that her attitude “don’t play” on screen for her to get the hint.

    Kelly is totally getting fired by Saks. The thing is though, they didn’t off her for the assault. They announced it after the Kelly vs. Bethenny episode aired.

    From BravoFan, links to article and food fight video
    Quote: “Kelly, unamused, locks herself in a closet to take crisis calls of her own.” on the set of a photo shoot.

    Also, Jill didn’t show for the A-List awards this weekend. The Countess was aol too, but Jill not showing worries me. I dunno. I hope everything is okay. The mother was sick recently and I just hope everything is good with them Zarins.

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