Starting off with Jill Zarin is always good. She’s finalizing plans for her charity event. Kelly’s ass is there. Bitch felt like a fool after actin’ like the Queen of England at the last meeting. So she donated a shit load of high end gifts. Good for fucking her. Hurricane Ramona burst through the door talkin’ about how fabulous she is. She is so obnoxious! Of course, she brought up the tennis match.
Bethenny asked Alex to meet for drinks to discuss revamping her Skinny Girls Cocktail logo. Very nice of her to lend a hand to my girl!
You know, for a Countess, she sure does wear out those damn brown Gucci boots don’t she? The Count didn’t buy you any other boots before he broke out? Ex-Countess Lu went to the boys and girls club and talked about herself and how her husband became a count. I wonder if she’ll go back now and tell them that she’s ex-Countess Lu?! OH MY GOD! Did she just call that poor 10 year old little girl FAT? What the fuck is wrong with this woman? You do not tell a 10 year old who wants to be a model that she’ll grow in time and losing weight is easy! For someone who’s writing a book on manners, this bitch is void of them her damn self! That was some rude shit I’d expect from Ramona. She acts like taking time out of her day to so something is like Oprah or the fucking President taking time out of their day to drop in and visit some unsuspecting children. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I hope her divorce deflates her ego! She’d be cool if she weren’t so full of herself.
I love that Brad looks like he’s now sleeping at Jill Zarin’s apartment while remodeling. It’s fabulous and Jill Zarin loves it!
Bethenny made her way over to the remodeled Casa de Zarin and she is about to have a stroke! She said it’s Liberace Versace Le Cucarace! Funny! It does look like a total Queen decorated it, but I still liked it.
Uh oh! Jill Zarin’s tennis pro just called to cancel their tennis match against Super Mario and Ramona. Fuck, she better find a ringer cuz I’d hate for Mario to whoop her ass. Bethenny has an idea. Of course she does. She suggested Simon! Oh Lord, this shit is gonna be hilarious. Ramario is going to shit when Simon walks onto the court, probably in yellow shorts and matching bandana!
Can they please stop showing the hipless heffa, Kelly? Does this bitch have on house shoes for her date? I’m all for being fashion forward, but the bitch had on house shoes! I wonder if Max Max is the boyfriend she beat up a few weeks ago cuz he looks like he’d let a bitch punch him. Uh, I hate to break it to you boo, but Max Max is no catch. So stop braggin’ about how he wants you so badly.
Simon and Jill Zarin are gettin in some practice before the Ramario beat down. He’s not good and he looks hella awkward, but I still think between Ramona actually giving birth to a cow on the tennis court when she sees Simon and Mario tryna tuck his hard dick once he sees Jill Zarin, she and Simon might win this thing.
Aight. Here we go. This is more exciting than Wimbledon! Kelly showed up wearing a mini dress with a white flower on the front and I think some fishnets and knee boots! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? A bunch of others are there for the match, too. I wonder if Ramona’s gut will deflate once she shits bricks upon seeing Simon on the court with Jill Zarin. Speaking of, Bobby Vegas just walked in. Of course he’s there. He’s the best husband ever! He even shook Mario “the snake’s” hand!
This is such a great build up! Ramona is doing squats in the foyer so Simon can’t get from the elevator to the court to shock Ramario. One of her friends told her it was Simon and she didn’t believe her ROFLMAO!
Finally Simon walks out and Ramona looked appalled! Bethenny, don’t be fooled honey…Ramona is freaking OUT on the inside, trust!
Uh, did ya’ll see Brad looking like a gay pimp!
Back to the match, this had to be the worst tennis match in history! Simon is just a horrible tennis player! Oh shit! The tide might be turning! Jill Zarin done turned up the heat on they ass. Uh nope, false alarm!
Next week Ramona insults Bethenny! She better watch herself!
Did ya’ll think Jill Zarin was “disrespectful” by asking Simon to be her partner?
…Vine…in a minute