Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Okay, Kathy and the Gays were hilarious in the opening number, but let’s cut the shit.  Did ya’ll see Greedy Gretchen and Slade in the audience together?  Hmmm.  Maybe there’s something to the rumors. 

Then during Neil Patrick Harris‘ win for A-List Actor, did you not LOVE that Bethenny had a better seat than Kelly AND NeNe had a better seat than Sheree??  YES!  I LOVE THIS SHIT!

Aight now back to the actual show.  Kathy looks fucking fantastic!  She FINALLY got the hair right.  Her body is ridiculous these days and even her gown was a hit! 

Miss Millionaire Matchmaker was there.  She looked like she got her bangs freshly trimmed for the show.  That boyfriend of hers must blow her shit out because he is not attractive…and damn sure ain’t worth dating for four years, at least on the outside and isn’t that what matters?  Come on, we’ve seen Patty’s open casting!  She sends people home for having thin hair!

I love Kelly Rowland, but I didn’t like that curly weave.  She let her souuuuul glow with that one!  Way too Eric LaSalle in Coming to America for her pretty face and my taste.

Um, who invited Sanjaya and his receding hairline?  They were tryna be funny!  And what about Padma and that Lil Wayne look alike with her?  I hope she’s not tryna out a Heidi Klum fetish.  Yuck, not a good look…or a good looking man for that matter.

Tim Gunn just presented an award for A-List designer to Marchesa, but they didn’t give a fuck enough to show up!  So Rachel Zoe accepted on their behalf.

I gotta say that Shanna Moakler’s intro to Greedy Gretchen for the Reality Award was funny as hell!  And I love that Greedy Gretchen openly agreed with Shanna’s shit talking about Tacky Tamra and Vicki’s old ass!  I’m sorry, but Slade has a thing for her.  He was staring at her like he use to stare at Jo.  Gretchen ain’t thinkin’ about his ass, even if they are together!

The A-List Reality Guilty Pleasure Award went to NeNe.  She has been eating WELL since the show wrapped!  DAYUM GIRL!  Is she pregnant?  Talk about pink elephant in the room.  Aight, that’s my girl so let me move on.  She and Sheree are clearly friends again.  Can’t say as much about her and Kim.  Bitch ain’t bust one smile when everyone was screamin’ for NeNe.  Jealousy is an even worse look for her than that bag wig!

A-List Male Style nominees are Daniel Craig, Justin Timberlake, David Beckham (THANK YOU JESUS) and Anderson Cooper!  The award goes to Justin Timberlake.  Well I know his ass ain’t show up at this shit!

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney came out to introduce Raphael Saddiq and even though Kourtney said his name wrong, they did aight.  While they’re doing their thing, two quick tidbits about Raphael.  We think he’s fucking his backup singer…the female in the white jacket.  However, has has fucked a man.  The guy lives in either Oakland or Emeryville.  Ummm, who are the three off beat broads that he pulled on stage?  Especially the one in the pink dress.  BOOOOO!

Paris and Tyson Beckford are up to present for Sexiest TV Moment.  The L Word elevator scene got the award, even though Paris pronounced it the “L WORLD”. 

Did anyone she the toothless dude in the audience?  Oh GAWD that was hard to watch.

Back to the lesbians.  Kathy decided to call up Aubrey O’Day, the former singer turned high class stripper who’s apparently to fat to even do that now, so they could make out in honor of Kathy coming out tonight!  I know a lot of people are wondering what Aubrey has been doing since Diddy kicked her ass out of Danity Kane and now we know……she’s been eating!

Padma Sashimi came out walkin’ like she was drunk to intro the people reading from celebrity autobiographies.  Tori Spelling won!  Her speech was funny, but she talked too damn long!

A-List Humanitarian went to Natasha Richardson.  Too sad to watch.

Here we go…Real Housewives Fashion Show is up next.  This is bout to be a hot ghetto mess!!  Oh Lord, Paris is the celebrity fashion critic for the night.  Who is she to judge when she has a wig on that looks like a wig?

So far all bad, especially Tacky Tamra.  Shit, to me Jeana in that red dress looked better than the skinny bitches.  LISA WU, YOU BETTA WORK BITCH!!  Lynne looked like she was going to the beach.  BOO!!!  Kelly supposedly was a model, but why did she look like an amateur on the catwalk?  NeNe might be big, but bitch ain’t lost a step.  She worked the shit outta that runway!  Gretchen looked cute.  But Bethenny looked GREAT!  This bitch had on BOOTY SHORTS!  I love her!

Sorry, got sidetracked/bored.  Had to take a Twitter break.

A-List Funny went to Chelsea Handler.  We love her! 

Whole lotta shit happened tonight.  I’m only one bitch…and this bitch is tired!  Oops, the repeat just came on.  Rachel Zoe has on a wedding ring, so she must still be married to that gay dude.

Aight, let me stop.  I haven’t even gotten to Kathy’s She’ll Cut A Bitch yet.  I’ll leave you with these 3 words…EASY CHRIS BROWN!!!

…in a minute (www.twitter.com/hollywoodNvine)

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Comments on: "Bravo’s 2009 A-List Awards" (6)

  1. Love Kathy, bitch is fierce. Loved the fashion show, I think Bethenny chose booty shorts just to mess with Kelly’s shit. That must have been an “interesting” limo ride over to the show. Agree on Nene, but she owned it and I love her so criticism is valid but let’s not go overboard with the girl. If Greg doesn’t have a problem and Nene’s okay with it then let’s just move on. Ramona on the other hand, she had that huge belly. It’s weird. I know you’ve commented on it before but I never saw it so pronounced. She’s skinny all over but has that pooch upfront.

    Greedy Gretchen and Slade Slimey? That totally grosses me out. I can’t imagine that she’d be back especially if her story is “me and Slade are in love.” That “won’t play” as they say. Not interested. And he was practically sitting in her lap so he could get his face in the camera frame. Total slimeball.

    Anyway, kudos to Bravo, I read somewhere that they’re one of the few networks that are making money these days. They have new advertisers and they’re doing okay. Good for them, they got some big names to show.

  2. Loved, Kelly R’s dress but agree on the hair.

    Tori, she’s going to pin me down and “feed me a sandwich.” Awesome. But that bit in the limo with hubby playing battleship on the pre-show was disgusting. Please.

    I really liked the readings, looks like they took a cue from the Academy Awards with the personal intros. That was the best Oscar show I ever saw. Well done.

  3. Did you see Gregg sittin’ there all adoringly and shit? I loved it! He’s another good one like Bobby Vegas.

    Bravo loves Greedy Gretchen. I think IF she’s with Slade now, they’ll still play out whatever storyline they want with her. Nothing they do on “reality” tv shocks me.

    I was shocked at the big names that attended. Pleasantly surprise. I enjoyed the show.

  4. The show was good, and you gotta love Kathy! How about her kiss with Aubrey, dear god. I know Aubrey was loving that..a little fame after her demise of Danity Kane.

    Housewives runway show was alight…Lisa Wu looked great, Bethenny looked great, her legs are amazing! I also liked Gretchen and but my god, can we have a moment for Nene’s boobs. I mean I love the girl, but she has GOT to start wearing a bra, there is no excuse for a woman her size to be free hangin. I thought she looked really cheap on the runway.

    Overall the show was good and gotta love Chelsea Handler! That’s my news anchor every night lol

  5. Shit, I didn’t watch the pre-show. What happened?

    I liked the readings, too, and the way the Oscars did that! Nice steal Bravo.

  6. The pre-show was great. They had Tim Gunn with the A-Lister and Cohen with the “Bravo-lebrities,” their word I like it, on two different red carpets. You need to watch it just for Niecy Nash talking to Tim Gunn about her lips and her lipstick. I think she was on the real red carpet or at least she should have been. But that sounds more like an Andy Cohen comment. I’d love to hear your take on that exchange.

    Also memorable was Rachel Dratch talking about how she’s addicted to Real Wives and Millionaire Matchamker. Something like, “Hey maybe I should call Patty so she can fix me up with a real asshole.”

    Bethenny was there with Ramona and Kelly and said she took the mic so she could hit Kelly over the head if she gets out of line, it was good. Except for Paris Hilton closing it out. 30 minutes.

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