Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Oh Lordy, we’re startin’ off with ex-Countess Lu.  Victoria is home for a visit after being gone 2 months.  Damn, they couldn’t even go pick the child up and bring her home!  OH MY GAWD!  How does Victoria not know what the fuck Goodwill is?  I mean, I know she’s the daughter of a Count and all, but who doesn’t teach their kids about Goodwill?  This is ridiculous!  Was it just me or was Victoria over her mom’s superficial ways?  She seemed to be a lot more grounded!

Over at Jill Zarin’s apartment, the BBC came through to do an interview. He talked about a little bit of everything.  I thought it was a good interview 100%  because of Jill Zarin!  She did a fabulous job and really carried that boring ass British dude! 

Kell is taking her new head shot, but then she asked the photographer to take some “from behind because they’re spicy”!??  Huh…come again!?  Is it a head shot or an ass shot?  Oh yeah, Mr. Photographer, will you throw in a few bikini shots for me so I can be the “A” in hAlloween for a Halloween party invitation I’m sending out soon!  Is this not the most random bitch out!!

Victoria and Mommy Dearest are out shopping or as ex-Countess calls it “spending quality time”.  And JUST LIKE THAT, ex-Countess let the clothes take over her thoughts and poor Victoria was sittin’ bored as shit waiting on her!  She said price doesn’t matter.  Hmmph, I bet it matters a bit more now that her ass is gonna be on a monthly budget!  I like to call it….alimony!

Jill Zarin is getting her Halloween costume made for herself and her damn dog.  They’re gonna be Elle Woods and Brewster from Legally Blond.  Aight, Jill Zarin is tryna dress up her dog in pink froo froo clothes.  THIS is why animals attack their owners.  It’s a dog…stop dressing them like people.

Jill Zarin and Aunt Cookie are on the air with Jill’s sister!  What is with the 20 second time outs that Bravo does after barely showing one segment?  That’s the shit they did last week with Kelly running in the middle of the damn street.

I thought I’d get through the whole episode without Simex, but I’m not that damn lucky!  She’s picking out some brown paper bag lookin’ top that I think uses the proceeds to feed kids?  I don’t know.  Some sorta gimmick.  Luckily, Alex can wear a brown paper bag and make it look good.  She and Simon work my nerves, but I gotta give credit where credit is due.  Simon is right…the bitch can wear anything well!

Over at Ramona’s condo, unfortunately.  Ramona’s talking about how judgmental Avery is.  Um, I wonder where she gets that shit from!  Oh here she goes…why does Ramona gyrate when she’s really tryna make a point?  If she doesn’t want the child’s judgment, then send her ass out of the damn room!  Simple.  She and Mario make everything so damn hard! 

It’s pumpkin carving time at Casa de Simex!  Simon is such a freak asking his kids if they remember 1967! 

Jill Zarin aka Elle Woods and Brewster made her arrival at Kell’s Halloween Party.  She looked a mess.  It was all in good fun.  Ramona came as Robin Hood.  Bethenny was Roller Girl and her dog was Roller Bitch!  I LOVE HER!  She knows how to have a good time and laugh, especially at herself!  Jill Zarin and Bobby Vegas are wrong, making Brad think that he was eating dog food!  That was hilarious, but what I really want to know is “did Ramona take a bite of the food that her dog had been licking on”?

Jill Zarin and Bethenny are at Hudson Terrace where her charity event will be held.  Is there anything funnier than Bethenny imitating Jill?  I don’t believe there is…not on this show! 

Alex and Bethenny met for brunch to discuss the progress of her Skinny Girls Cocktail logo!  Miss B loves it.

Tonight’s Kelly’s Halloween party.  Bethenny said fuck it, it’s a recession…I’m gonna be roller girl twice.  Bitch is funny!  Okay, hold up, this bitch Kelly has a CASH BAR at her party?  What the fuck?  That is the tackiest shit, period!  You don’t ask your guests to buy their fucking drinks at your party.  I’m with Bethenny – how the hell is she gonna put her name on this bullshit ass party, but not on Jill Zarin’s charity event? 

Jill Zarin aka Marie Antoinette and Bobby Vegas showed up!  She looked great, natch.  However, her smile turned upside down when she found out that A) Kell wasn’t there and B) she had to pay for a soda. 

Lu talks so much about being a former model, but the damn photographers had to tell her how to pose on the “red carpet”.  She’s so full of it.

Simex went to the party as Sarah Palin and “Moose”!  Guess they’re not Republican! 

Bethenny is a one woman show!  Her rant before she shook the spot was priceless.  Roller Girl doesn’t care LOL!  Not only did she skate off, but bitch turned around and was skatin’ backwards down the streets of Manhattan!  I might be laughing about this all morning!

Ooooooh, Ms. Playboy Bunny decides to show up after all!  She’s a bitch!  A low budget, raggedy, fake bitch!  Wait, did this broad just have the NERVE to say that she’s a mom so she didn’t want to be over the top even though she has on a black, satin leotard, fishnets and pink pumps?  Um, whatever Kelly!  WHAT?  She did not say that she was upset that the girls weren’t there when she got there?  Bitch get a clue!

I have five words to describe next week:  BETHENNY VS. KELLY PART TWO!

Vine…in a minute

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Comments on: "Real Housewives of NYC: Episode 10 Recap" (11)

  1. This week did not feature the best episode, but ROLLER GIRL ROCKED. I was very impressed with her skating.
    Jill is the best. Girl knows what she wants. Knows how to get it.
    Bobby Vegas as dashing as ever.
    His appeal does not seem
    Countess Lu dressed as a Native American Indian–ok-next year maybe the Statue of Liberty if her divorce isn’t final yet.
    As for the kellamity, if you were busy with your kids for Halloween, then why did you schedule a party for profit?
    Just wonderin’

  2. Those Brits were trying to embarrass her about all her money in this bad economy! But Jill kept her cool, and just kept bringing the focus back to her charities. That’s why she’s a class act, she doesn’t let people drag her down in the mud. I thought her Legally Blonde costume was a mess, and I hate it when people dress up their dogs, and Bobby was a bellhop? I don’t get it.

    Who threw the dog party? I know it wasn’t Kelly, but I don’t remember.

  3. OK…first of all, H&V…totally love you!! In fact, I email my 73 year old mother your website every time I read it (’cause she doesn’t know how to “favorite” your link yet!!!)
    I am a Midwesterner too, and let me tell you….we may have to send some smack down on Kellamity for going on and on and on about her being a down to earth Midwesterner….’cause she is giving us all a bad name. For the record, Midwesterners DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT name our children for bodies of water. I will admit we do however name our children after months and seasons!! Me moving on now!
    Love Jill and totally on Team Betheny!! She needs her own show, can we do something about that???
    Again, Love you H&V and keep up the “keeping it real”!!

  4. @Katester – Exactly! Why schedule a party for the same damn night? Bottom line – Kelly is an idiot! Who does that?

    @Jen – Agreed! Jill knew what they were tryna do, but she stayed the course. LOL, I love that phrase. I didn’t get Bobby Vegas’ costume and I don’t know who threw the party. If I said the wrong person, ooops!

    @Tracey and Tracey’s mama – Thanks! I can’t believe that a 73 year old woman from the Midwest isn’t disgusted by our filthy mouths, but we like it! LOL @ naming your kids after months and seasons! Hilarious. Don’t feel bad, some of us name our kids after expensive cars and fruit! We’d love Bethenny to have her own show with guest appearances from Jill. The other “housewives” are fillers at this point. Did anyone else notice that the other ladies got very little air time on Tuesday?

    – Vine

  5. katester said:

    Forget to mention…Alex did rock that feedbag corset garment!
    She is looking great!
    Wondering why we never see Kelly and Alex interact…they are both moms of youngsters…hmm…

  6. If Kelly thinks that Bethenny is soooo beneath her, then imagine what she thinks of Simon and Alex! On the flip side, she’s so unintelligent and without culture that Alex is probably not interested anyway LOL.

  7. I’ve also wondered why you don’t see them interact. They got close at that Russell Simmons fashion show, but she probably just pretended not to know them. I agree, she probably just thinks they’re beneath her. She is one dumb bitch.

  8. She really is! I can’t wait till Tuesday. She bugs the shit outta me when she tells Bethenny to stop it and shit like that! Why does she think so highly of herself?

  9. money+zero class=Kelly

  10. @H&V “I thought I’d get through the whole episode without Simex, but I’m not that damn lucky!” No one is that lucky, not in this world.

    This was a great episode. Loved Jill and Bethenny every moment every thing. Love the shoes, love the bag, everything you two. Ramona was a total psycho is this one. remember how she ate the dog food after Bobby told Brad not to. She just chows the thing right down and even if it was people food it was still in the dog’s mouth.

    Avery? That scene was also ummmmm totally fucking psycho. Let’s ask Avery for her opinion. Let’s put Avery in a leadership role and then criticize the shit out of her. And let’s criticize her for who she is not what she does. “you make me nervous. No one makes me nervous. I’m successful, beautiful, married. Your opinion is right it’s you that’s wrong, please leave. Sigh of relief as 12 year old child exits stage right. Celebration follows said exit of minor child.” I thought I was watching an episode of In Treatment for a minute. You know, this is kinda gross to say but people should need a damn license and some basic training on how to be a parent.

    Kelly’s party was quite the scene, it was sad to see her walking around in a “conservative” bunny costume with the dregs of the party at the end because you know, she’s a Mom and needs to represent mom-ly values. “Hi I’m Kelly. I’m a classy cool sexy but not skanky Mom in a classy cool sexy but not skanky bunny costume. Meet my boy toy in the loin cloth, size small.” Nice job, bitch. You still here?

  11. @Michele – It doesn’t sound bad at all. People DO need some kind of skills before having kids. That’s reinforced by watching Maury Povich! I couldn’t believe the Ramona/Avery interaction.

    I think Kelly really wants to be seen as a MILF…and she’ll dress like a ho at a glorified frat party to sway those who don’t find her to be hot as is! Triflin’!

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