Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

I am so catching up on my DVR today!  Not one word about the lateness of my recap.

Before I get started, I wanna know how Speidi is on a show about celebrities when they ain’t even celebrities?  Just wonderin…

Aight, so now I’m seeing the Audrina-Brody fucking in Hawaii fallout.  What world is this bitch living in talking about “aren’t I allowed to date?”  Um, NO, not when you’re “dating” someone else’s boyfriend.  And when did one night stands become dating? 

Why does Heidi’s co-worker have on those 1980’s Lily Tomlin in 9-5 black pumps!  Horrible.

Heidi and Co. are at HWood tryna spy on Spencer and Stacie the bartender.  How are you gonna spy on someone with a camera crew next to you?  Stacie and her friends had the nerve to come over and sit with them.  What the fuck?  This is how I know this shit is fake.  White girl, black girl, whatever, shit wouldn’t have gone down like that in real life.

Same with Jayde and Audrina.  Team LC is hangin at someone’s house.  Audrina just came through and Jayde is there with Brody.  She’s pretty calm.  Huh?  What man do ya’ll know who encourages his girlfriend and his one night stand to have a private conversation?  Wait a minute, did Brody’s ass just tell Audrina that he’s sorry she had to deal with this?  I woulda slapped the shit outta Brody for that…then I woulda left his ass!  I wish this dumb ass broad would do the same…make room for LC!

Back in Spencer’s hell on earth, also known as couple’s therapy!  I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but Spencer is right.  Heidi ain’t have no business lookin’ in his damn phone.  For real, that is his shit.  Women are gonna learn to stop lookin’ for shit where their men are concerned.  Yo ass gonna find it…Look at what happened to Khloe Kardashian.  That’s my girl, but she shouldn’t been checkin that niggas voice mail…but I digress.

By the time Heidi gets back from I’m a D-List Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, she’s sure to need a chiropractor!  How is that tiny ass neck of hers holding up all that weave?

Stephanie loves to be in the middle of some shit, don’t she?  She and Audrina just rolled up in the club and invited themselves to join Brody’s group at a table.  These bitches don’t even have dignity anymore!  The only one I like is Jayde’s homegirl who keeps getting in Audrina’s face!  Since Jayde clearly can’t speak up for herself, she needs her girl to do it.  Oh wait, now she has plenty of shit to say…now that Audrina just walked away.  Typical. 

Audrina is complaining that Brody shoulda stepped in while they ganged up on her!  WHY?  That’s his bitch!  He did the right thing.  These broads kill me with all this self-entitlement bullshit!  Like you can just fuck someone’s man and then still kick it with him actin’ like ya’ll been buddies for a decade so it’s cool.  It ain’t cool and Jayde shoulda pulled out one of her tracks on GP!

Audrina played herself, plain and simple! 

Sidebar: This episode is so old that I just saw a commercial for the season finale of Taking the Stage.  So, Cocktail from For the Love of Ray J was chillin at a club in Ohio with Tyler from TTS!  I told her she musta been bored!  She didn’t respond LOL!

Remember that Debbie Gibson video from back in the day when she had on the ill-fitting black hat?  Well Audrina just showed up for lunch with Lauren and Lo wearing it!  Lauren is giving Audrina bad advice.  HOW does she figure Brody owes Audrina an apology?  Audrina knew the game and she fucked with him anyway.  That’s on her…not him!

Spencer is back at therapy because he’s contractually bound to do so!  Blah blah blah…

Lauren and her future husband, Brody, got together to shoot their scene talk about what’s going on.  God I love them together.  I see why she’s gettin the hell off this sinking ship!  It’s a total train wreck and adding Kristin Cavalleri ain’t hardly gonna make it better.  I cannot stand her ass!  Lookin’ forward to tearing her up on a weekly basis!

If ya’ll can remember back this far, what did you think of the show? 

…Vine…in a minute

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Comments on: "The Hills: 5/4/09 Recap" (4)

  1. Yay, you girls are baaaaack!

    “By the time Heidi gets back from I’m a D-List Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, she’s sure to need a chiropractor! How is that tiny ass neck of hers holding up all that weave?” LOL!

    But you lost me with this one- “It ain’t cool and Jayde shoulda pulled out one of her tracks on GP!” What does that mean?

    Audrina is just dumb as a goldfish, that’s the only way I can explain her foolish behavior. But she doesn’t write the script.

  2. @Jen – Hey girlie! So Twitter is down for maintenance and I’m gonna take the time to do another NJ Housewives post while I’m able.

    Back to The Hills. What I meant about Jayde was that she shoulda pulled one of Audrina’s hair extensions out on GP (general purposes) b/c Audrina generally deserved it for what she did LOL!

    I think you’re right; she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed and it shows!

  3. Haha, how did I pick up on the only two weave references? I must be a weave-psychic.

    It sound like Twitter is your new addiction, do I need to stage an intervention?

  4. Oh I am so addicted to Twitter it’s not even funny LOL! It forces me to not be so long winded lmao! But I get to post off the cuff remarks all the time; it’s fun. We have a whole new following from there that didn’t even know we had a blog. Hollywood HATES Twitter though! The question is, why aren’t you an addict?

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