Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

I already know the jig is about to be up for Dirty Danielle/Beverly Merrill in this episode.  What I’m not sure of is how hard she’s gonna come back on the other housewives!

Dirty D, Jacque and Teresa are out to dinner and she brought it to them off the top!  Dirty D said not only does she not even look at married men, but she damn sure wouldn’t be running behind a personal trainer who makes 25k/year… She claims to own more than that to Neiman Marcus right now.  Puhlease honey – if a married man could get you outta debt and save that house, you’d blow him faster than that balding, fat broke teeny bopper from last week!

I’m tryna to be on my best behavior with these kids, but why does a little girl who’s barely in a training bra even own booty shorts?  Lexi has no business with shorts that fucking short in her possession.  I’m sorry, but she doesn’t! 

Teresa and that curly hair takes me back to the hair bear days.  Ain’t she a hair bear 2 decades after the fad?!  Anyway, she and her husband wanna take salsa and merengue classes.  So they’re going to make it a cast affair.  Of course, Jacque invites Beverly/Danielle because the producers told her to she didn’t want her to feel excluded.  Why is this bitch always agreeing to go somewhere that costs money, but is the first one to complain about being broke?  Stay your broke ass at home then!

Aight, Caroline don’t dance, but she’s there to watch her kids have fun!  WAIT A MINUTE…HOLD UP!  Danielle did NOT just walk up in the studio in full ballet attire OMG!  Make it stop…LMFAO!!!  She is too much for tv.  Whooo okay.  This bitch just said that she has a professional background in dance.  Um, STRIPPING ain’t the same as being a trained dancer honey!  Caroline looks like she’s about to jump off that couch and claw Danielle like that tiger did Roy and I ain’t tryna be mean or funny!

Okay, let me get this straight, Danielle sexually molested Caroline’s son during a fun loving night of dancing, but she took offense to Teresa’s husband, Joe, saying that the instructor was “so gay”?  Give me a fucking break!

NOW, after the class Danielle tried to check Joe on his slurs and he told her to be quiet.  She snapped back don’t tell me to be quiet…I’m not your wife!  Teresa and her simple-minded self wasn’t quite sure, but thought it was an insult to her (smdh).  Look, I’m the first one to jump on Dirty D’s case, but I gotta give this one to her!  I woulda said the same shit.  She wasn’t really insulting Teresa as much as she was letting Joe know “muthafucka you can’t talk to me any kinda way cuz I’m not married to your beefcake ass”.  It was about Joe, not Teresa!

Chris and Jacque are back at the fertility doctor’s office.  Doc said nothing is wrong with either of them, which of course we know cuz she’s about to pop!  Maybe broads who are 40 and shit should be thankful for the kids they already have and leave the shit alone.  I think it’s hella selfish when A) older women have kids knowing it could prove unhealthy for the child and B) old ass men have kids with young women knowing they have lived damn near most of their lives…like Tony Randall and Larry King.

Anyway, Dina’s baby daddy pulled up in a VW Jetta.  No wonder he and Dina didn’t work out!

Dirty D called Teresa to clear the air after their night of salsa, but the hair bear hung up on that ass!  Guess she really was through.

Caroline and Teresa headed over to Dina’s to discuss Danielle.  A Cop Without A Badgehas come to light.  It truly wasn’t a bitch session.  Teresa voiced her concerns and anger the most, I think, cuz she was friends with Danielle and felt betrayed.  I can see that.  Shockingly, Dina didn’t really use it as an opportunity to twist the knife.  She and Caroline held back a ton! 

Jacque showed up at Danielle’s to tell her about the book EVEN THOUGH her family told her to keep her mouth shut!  Dirty Danielle sits down with champagne to tell her about “the book”.  According to D, she was arrested as an accessory cuz she came home one day right before the feds busted her then boyfriend!  Did she expect someone to believe that bullshit?  I mean for real.  Jacque seems to believe it thus far, but who knows at this point.

Over at HairBear’s dream house, the new furniture is being delivered.  Must she stand at the top of the stairs telling the delivery people to be careful wit her shit cuz it’s expensive?  No shit@@ Lawd, her husband rolls with hella cash on him, too?  What’s wrong with these fucking people ya’ll?  Who does that? 

Did Teresa really have the nerve to say that she’s having her house built because living in someone elses house is gross, yet she said her husband is the “most easiest” man to get along with?  That further proves my point that money doesn’t buy class…or a grasp of basic grammar!

Danielle cracked open even more bottles with her gay friend of 27 years, Tommy!  Now he said they’ve known each other 25 years, she said 27.  Then she said that the shit written about in the book was 24/25 years old.  If that’s true, then why didn’t her oldest and dearest friend know about this shit?  Why is she having to tell him the story now?  Something is rotten in Denmark!  Dirty D is putting on a show for someone.  She probably just met that gay guy while she was at the grocery store picking up wine!

Tommy and Danielle got their gossip on pretty much!  He suggested taking it straight to Dina’s ass!  It might go down on tonight’s episode. 

YES!!  I’m finally caught up.  Now ya’ll can get off a bitch’s back!

…Vine…in a minute


Comments on: "Real Housewives of New Jersey: Episode 4 Recap" (2)

  1. Now don’t miss tonight’s episode and get off track again 😉

    It seemed like a front Dina was putting on when Lexi left, I mean she doesn’t really strike me as the mom type and a couple episodes ago Dina was telling Lexi it was time for her to grow up a bit and take care of herself, now she is crying because Lexi goes on vacation? I would think she’d be happy to get the dork, I mean girl, out of the house for a while.

    Danielle was WAY to into that dance class, LMAO! Plunk a pole in the middle of the floor and I think she would have gone to town!

    Money obviously is no object to beefcake and Teresa, because they carry it around like Puffy (or Diddy, or P. Diddy whatever he goes by now). I mean at least Mr. Combs has security around, these two don’t! Although maybe after that aired they’ll think twice, now that there’s a huge JUMP ME target on their back! I do like them though!

    Jaque is kind of boring to me, nothing to say about her last week. Although I do side with her in that she shouldn’t have to choose between family and friends.

    Hoping tonight’s is a good one!

  2. katester said:

    hey girls,
    thanks for your posts.
    we love em. keep em comin’.
    lexi has loads of clothes but does not seem like a brat.
    ashley sure does.
    i think danielle loves the spotlight and enjoyed grabbing attention at the dance class.
    caroline-love her-but i would have at least tried to dance if i went to the trouble of showing up.
    jacquie must know that her family is worried about her–she’s vulnerable after losing her babies–anyone would be.

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