Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

For the 15 of us still watching this group, here we go…starting off with Cat and Charles.  She’s finished her book and they’re boring me talking about it.  Evidently it was difficult for him to read the book cuz it discussed her past life, but he got over it.  I guess he did…by divorcing her ass!

Okay, so now Michaele is pretending that she used to be a Redskins cheerleader?  Um, sure she was.  She ain’t hit one move on time yet.  Who is she fooling?  She might have cheered from the sidelines…in the stands or from her living room, but actually on the field, I ain’t buyin’ it!  But at least we know she can count to 8 LOL!  I love the sistas in line with her who didn’t want their faces shown.

Over to my girl Stacie.  That woman is a saint for still tryna get to know Cat’s dumb ass.  I really want Cat and Stacie’s bff to have it OUT!  Oh, Lynda just showed up.  In private, Stacie said that she doesn’t know how she feels about gay marriage.  I know this is coming up again.  Mary said that Michaele is lyin about being a Redskins cheerleader!  Told ya.  It’s safe to bet that anything that allegedly anorexic woman says is a straight up lie!

Back at Stacie’s ice cream social, Mary is talking about how all her kids are back home.  Lolly quit her job.  Of course she did!  She doesn’t have a financial care in the world.  Oh shit, Erica just called out Cat about being mean and negative!  Okay, here we go!  I would slap Cat with that “bless your heart darlin'” bullshit.  Condescending ass bitch!  Lynda tried to check Erica, but she ain’t havin’ it.  Listen, I don’t agree with Lynda.  Erica was not off on her high horse, she was putting the shit out there to her FACE vs. behind her back like the rest of them do.  If Cat thinks that she has been nothing but kind is a crock of shit.  Cat feels like she’s being annihilated.  Is she crazy?  I’m sorry white women, but why do some of ya’ll play that passive aggressive bull?  Cat is so vicious with her words to every damn body, but when someone says something to her, she’s the victim??  Bitch please!  Her life ain’t that hard.  She was married with a husband who was a White House photographer for crying out loud.  She wrote a fucking book because she could and because she was bored!  Her life ain’t all that damn hard!  She gets to stay at home with her kids because she doesn’t have to work!  How many people would love to be able to do that?  Please!  She needs to quit playing the damn victim!!

Wait a minute, Lolly quit her job as an Executive Assistant?  Didn’t she have a job at the beginning of the show waiting tables?  So she done quit two jobs LOL?  Rich is the voice of reason here cuz Lolly’s ass needs to feel the burn!

So Erica, Paul Wharton, Lynda, Stacie, Mary and Stacie’s hubby are all in David Catania’s office for a meeting.  Oh wait, Cat’s ass is there too.  Oh joy!  She walked in and spoke to everyone BUT Erica.  She’s such a bitch.  Anyway, back to gay rights.  Oh shit, Mary just said that she wasn’t really trippin’ the issue doesn’t affect her LOL.  Paul Wharton and his bad hair did not appreciate that.  Ooooh shit, Jason just said that he thinks marriage should be between one man and one woman!!  Oh LAWD.  They done said it.  They done said it.  Paul Wharton’s hair is getting nappier by the second cuz of this conversation LOL!  Aight Paul said that he gets called a fucking fag (his words, not mine) if he walks down the wrong street in DC.  He said that marriage equality would take away the power those types of people would feel.  Let me break it down to you, Paul.  I’m black and have every right under the sun, just like everyone else, but I STILL get called a nigger!  I’m not saying he shouldn’t be able to get married, just that he shouldn’t be naive enough to think that gay marriage equality will stop that type of talk.

Erica, Mary and Stacie are all at dinner discussing the David Catania meeting.  Lynda said that God isn’t judging and that humans judge.  Well, I don’t know, but I hope to find out when I get to heaven.  Yes, I have the nerve to think I’m going to heaven.  Paul and Lynda are at cocktail hour together.  I know he’s gonna bash Stacie and Jason!  Mary was pissed with Erica cuz the children were there.  Lynda is saying that Cat is just off and has been since Aunt Francis’ house.  (They’re doing a back and forth so bear with me.)  Lynda is having sympathy toward her and Paul is blaming Charles for Cat’s behavior.  Are they for real?  It’s Charles’ fault?  She knew good and hell well what the fuck Charles’ life was like before she moved to DC from England.  Don’t cry about it now!

Over to the Swindlin’ Salahis, they’re tryna plot about keeping their “winery” and not having to file bankruptcy again.  Uh yeah, aight.  Next…

At Mary’s, she’s filling Lolly in about the David Catania meeting while making dinner.  She said she learned a lot and that she wants to take back her comment about the issue of gay marriage not affecting her.  Lolly is giving us an educational lesson on how wonderful gays are and what they do for a living@@

Cat is having drinks with Ted Gibson’s business partner, Jason.  She said he’s one of her rare friends in DC.  Yeah, cuz nobody else wants to deal with your mean old ass!  She’s making fun of all the women in her neighborhood who walk their dogs and clean up the dog shit!  What is wrong with her?  That’s what MoFos do when they have a dog.  THIS is why Erica said she’s always negative….BECAUSE SHE IS!

The Swindlers are meeting with Matt Carson to talk about the tell all book about the Salahi family dysfunction!  They are so low!  I mean, sooo low!  OMG Tareq is already talking about finding a publisher who will give them an advance LMAO!  They are broke as a joke!  When exactly was the last time that Michaele washed or combed her extensions?  Just askin…

Next week if the White House State Dinner episode…watch what happens.

…in a minute

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