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Posts tagged ‘Brandy Norwood’

Dancing w/the Stars 11.2.10 Results

I hope I’m not the only one that expected Rick Fox to go home tonight!  Rick had great scores last night and the ladies love his ass.  So why didn’t viewers vote?  You know I’m gonna tell you why.  He put the nail in his coffin when he let his white girlfriend come into the studio ON CAMERA and jump his bones, takin off her jacket talkin’ about “you wanna show her how we do it at home baby?”.  Actually, we don’t and I know Cheryl didn’t cuz she probably wants to tap that her damn self, but I digress.

Here’s the thing, the average American watches this show.  The average American does not want to see a sweet, innocent white girl being turned out by a big, tall ass black man!  On top of that, many blacks don’t wanna see it either!  He was doomed from the start of that video clip!

Note to DWTS “stars”, people watching at home will or won’t pick up the phone and vote based on what they see in that video, not just what they see on the dance floor.  So all your bedroom activity, whining, diva bullshit and complaining about the judges will always get you kicked off.  The Situation, that girl Derek pretended to like, Shannon Elizabeth and the list goes on!  Watch yourselves.

Who do you think is going to win this season?  I’m still ridin’ with Brandy!

Vine…in a minute

Dancing w/the Stars: S11 E2 (Live Blog)

As I’m watching all of the “stars” dancing at the opening, I want Jennifer Grey to stick to choreographed moves.  Now that we’re without the sex bomb Hoff, I can cringe a bit less tonight.

We’re starting off with Rick Fox and a Jive.  I LOVE this dance.  I hope he can pull it off.  He has a tendon issue.  Let’s see how this works out.  He’s actually a good partner.  She’s not draggin his ass all over the floor like Chelsie is doing w/Michael Bolton.  Cheryl’s ass thinks she’s slick putting all that ass slappin’ in the routine!  I see you Cheryl.  That was a lot of fun.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty good for a Week 2 jive!  See, the judges are sayin’ exactly what I’m saying.  Ya’ll think I’m crazy, but I speaketh the truth:)  Let’s see what all that means for scores…21!  Not bad.  (Commercial)

Up next, Florence Henderson.  I know she’s America’s mom, but she ain’t mine.  She bores me, but aight let’s see her Quick Step.  Hopefully it’s not more like a half time step!…….Ummmm.  Didn’t I just say the half time step?!  That’s what it was.  I’ve seen people mover faster running through a club when I fight breaks out!  That was terrible.  Okay, Bruno said she looked like Driving Miss Daisy LOL!  Carrie Ann liked it and thought it was elegant.  Oh stop it, Carrie Ann.  It’s okay to tell a 76-year-old that she sucked!  Len loved it, too!  They need to quit.  They know good and hell well the producers told them to keep her around!  Now for her scores…Wait a minute, why does Brooke Burke even have on a dress?  I think I actually saw her implants shift that damn dress is cut so low.  Flo got a 19!

Alright now Brandy!  Bring it bitch!  She and Maks are arguing in rehearsals.  WHY do these celebrities argue with their pro partners?  Listen to what they’re tryna teach you and MOVE ON, damn!  She better Jive her ass off after that.  Oh gawd, she did a little booty shaking mid dance.  Len is going to HATE that!  Oh geez, Sassy Sarah Palin is in the audience tonight.  I’m going to throw up!  Back to Brandy, she didn’t have much attack or sharpness tonight.  Carrie Ann didn’t like it!  Len thought she took steps backward from last week.  Yep, Len said that she didn’t dance with intent!  Bruno said she was only okay and she wasn’t sharp or precise enough!  Mmmm hmmm.  (Commercial)  21 for Brandy! (3406)

Michael Bolton better not come with another cringe worthy performance!  He’s doing a jive.  I am not expecting too much from him.  For real Chelsie?  You want him to crawl out of a dog house cuz you’re dancing to hound dog?  The pros KNOW that Len hates that shit.  Just get to the dancing already.  This is already fucking dumb!  I made it through like 3 people without cussing.  I tried.  Sorry folks, I can’t watch!  He O-fficially needs to be sent home tomorrow!  Do not vote for this man LOL!  I see why Nicolette Sheridan laid him off.  If he moves like that in bed, well never mind!  He better get lower than a 15 cuz that’s what he got last week and last week was better!  Len said that Michael’s jive needed a pooper scooper to finish it off LOL!  Hilarious.  Bruno told him that he shoulda kept the bone and gone back into the dog house LMFAO!  I’ll say this much, yes he’s a bad dancer, but Chelsie did him a disservice as his professional partner with that bullshit!  OH EMM GEE he got a TWELVE LMFAO!!  Bruno gave this mofo a THREE!  DAYUM!

Audrina and Tony are up next.  I think she’s gonna do a good Quick Step..an ACTUAL quick step, Flo!  Here go the tears.  She’s sad cuz she barely gets to see her latest loser boyfriend and it’s taking a toll on their “relationship”!  Spare me your sob story and dance!  Audrina did her thing tonight!  That was good.  I hope Carrie Ann gets on her about not pointing her toes like she did Brandy.  Aight, Bruno liked it although there were issues at time.  Carrie Ann I guess overlooked that b/c she only sang her praises.  Len said it was the best performance of the night…so far and he was right!    Wait, Tony said in rehearsal that if they don’t get three 8s he’s gonna wax his legs LOL!  Here’s one…two….and Bruno gave them a 7 LOL!

After seeing Jennifer Grey try to dance in the opening, I’m afraid about her jive.  Then again, Derek made it look like Brooke Burke could do any dance.  So she should be fine.  Oh wow, Jennifer found out she had cancer via a routine check up for the show.  She can move very to choreographed steps.  She’s getting it.  Losing a little gas midway through, but hanging on.  She did great, but Audrina was better!  With those extensions in her hair, she actually looks like the Jennifer Grey we all remember.  If I have to hear Brooke talk about how she remembers doing this dance and that dance one more time, I might turn this off!  Scores…24!  Hmmmmm.  I don’t know, but okay.

Oh gawd, Sarah Palin is sitting with Tom.  I know Bruno hates her ass.  For real, Bristol the Pistol?  I could vomit.  I wonder how all of the gay pros feel about her being there knowing that she thinks they are vile individuals!

Margaret Cho up next.  She said people were shunning her ass last week cuz they just knew she was going home.  So did I, but I was wrong.  Louis is tryna keep her from being funny on the dance floor.  Good!  This is a dance competition, not a comedy showcase.  If we wanna see that, we’ll buy tickets to see you live.  (commercial)  Okay.  Why does she look like someone just robbed her.  Uh oh, get it Marge.  Ooops, spoke too soon.  She’s a little wild and keeps forgetting the steps, BUT the steps she does remember she’s puttin her back into ’em lol.  Hey, at least she had fun out there.  I hope she enjoyed it cuz the judges are going to eat her up!  Len was kind.  He just said work on the kicks.  Bruno said that she was all over the place, too.  He also said that when she was relaxed she danced better.  Ya’ll are gonna start listening to Hollywood and me LOL!  Carrie Ann encouraged her fellow Asian American.  Score…18.  Louis doesn’t like the triple 6.  I’m with him, but I’ll leave that alone.

Kyle and Lacey are up next.  I really want Lacey to bring her dark hair back.  Why do white women always want to be blond?  Anyway, she put him on a fast food free diet while they’re on the show.  Yeah, cuz he’s really going to stick to that!  Quick Step, here we go…He looks like a shoe shine man.  Get it big boy.  He is doing IT.  Lacey came to play with this partner.  You can see it in how she’s even dancing!  Alright now.  Bring it judges!  Bring it!!  Bruno said that he needs more control.  BOOOOOOOOO!  Carrie Ann loved it!  Len said he was flat footed, his hold was bad, he had no style, BUT he liked it!  Len is such a grumpy ass old man.  We’ll have scores after the break.  Kurt Warner’s jive is coming up, too.  I don’t know how good that’s gonna be….22 for Kyle and Lacey!

Time for Kurt Warner and his good looking self to take the floor.  Uh oh, Anna is whipping him into shape in the studio.  I’m excited.  This might be good!!  Did he just moonwalk lol?  Oh shit, he’s getting into it now.  But she has to stop letting him add his own flare to their routines.  He was decent.  I enjoyed it, but let’s see what the judges say.  Len loved it.  Bruno too.  Straight to the scores…21!  Not bad  with his sexy self!

I already know that The Situation is not going to do well with the Quick Step.  This jackass fool talking about he wants to dance to hip hop or something that he likes!  Is he pigeon-toed?  Here we go.  Hmmm.  He’s trying really, REALLY hard, but it’s just not working.  Oh lordy, he’s messing up steps.  I think Flo actually moved a lot more quickly than he did.   HOWEVER, we cannot let him go home over something small like not being able to dance LOL!  If ya’ll can keep Kate Gosselin around for half the season, then The Situation can stick around for a bit, too!  18!!!!  I LOVE how Sitch acts like Karina is not even his partner.

Bristol I needed Mark to life my leg for me last week Palin is up next.  Oooh lucky Mark, she brought him to Alaska with her.  I’m sorry, I can’t even watch this shit.  I’ll just wait until they hit the stage.  Quick Step She’s doing the moves, but her face is not connecting with her body.  Her face says that she’s getting a pap smear and her body looks like it’s trying to do the quickstep.  WHY are people standing up for her?  She didn’t do shit.  SEE, Bruno said what I said!  I know that Kelly Osbourne is disgusted by Carrie Ann saying that Bristol reminds her of Kelly.  Negative!  OH COME ON LEN…8???  Get the fuck outta here!  She did not HARDLY dance an 8!

Until tomorrow…in a minute…Vine

Dancing w/the Stars S11: Week 1

Sorry that I’m late for the live west coast blog, but I’m here now.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are up 3rd with a cha cha.  Alright now, get it little chubb rock!  He’s doing his thing!  He moves well for a tela tubby.  Lacey might be in it to win it.  Of course he won’t win, but if he keeps dancing like that, he’ll go far!  My goodness he was good!  The judges loved him!

Okay, while we’re on commercial, Audrina Patridge was first to hit the floor.  She can be good and Tony is the right pro to get her there, but she’s gonna need to shake that monkey!  No wonder Justin Bobby never wanted to commit to her!  Just sayin…Kurt Warner was after her.  Anna is his partner.  I thought he looked promising.  Len hated him, natch, but the other two thought he was good.

Alright, we’re back for Kyle’s score.  23!  Up next, Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke!  Oh gawd, she’s like the Kim Kardashian of the damn ballroom.  She never lets a black athlete get by her hot ass!  “Wow, you’re tall!”  No shit Cheryl.  Damnit he is fine as hell!  He is gliding across the dance floor like he’s done this a million times!  You go boy.  This is so good!  Then they ruined it by showing his girlfriend in the audience at the end.  Oh well.  Anyway, Len is ready to have sex with him.  Bruno will be tryna hump him after he does a samba.  Carrie Ann is ready to propose!  So his scores should be great.  22 for them.  Not bad.

Margaret Cho’s ass almost fell walking down the stairs in the beginning, so this is gonna be a train wreck I’m sure.  All of those tats on her look a fucking mess!  Ewww.  Why is she looking like she’s doing a tango?  She looks hella mad.  DWTS couldn’t buy her a girdle?  Okay, I’m gonna stop.  Her dancing was horrible and throwing some alleged comedy into the routine did not help!  Len is gonna eat her ass up.  Wait a minute, Bruno said WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  LOL!  5s across the board.  15!  Yikes.

Brandy!  HERE WE GO…She might be okay if she’d stop thinking about how gorgeous he is.  Let’s see what she got.  YES, YOU GO BRANDY!  That’s what I’m talking about!  Top THAT!  Top THAT!  She’s so genuinely excited…like a child.  I thought her reaction to the judges praise was refreshing!  The judges gave her 23!  She’s got my vote.

Up next, and it pains me to even type her name, Bristol Palin.  Poor Mark!  She’s in the studio acting like she don’t know how to pop it.  Bitch you have a kid.  Stop frontin!  She has a size does matter t-shirt on for the love of Pete!  OMG LMFAO!  At the end Mark had to actually lift her leg for her LOL!  I mean, she was bad, but she was decent for someone who has never danced or performed in their life.  I’ll give her that!  I missed her score because she bores me.

Florence Henderson is up next!  If she’s anything like Cloris Leachman, I hope they send her ass home sooner than later.  She’s dancing with Corky Ballas.  I don’t get why throw the humor into the routines.  Just get out there and show you can or can’t dance!  That’s an 18 for the 76-year-old Mrs. Brady.

Michael Bolton’s sexy ass is up with his PYT Chelsie Hightower.  She better learn to speak Cat Daddy lol.  Again, let me stop.  Uh oh, this ain’t lookin too promising.  Well, umm err uh…it was his first night.  Damn 16!  Well, he did deserve it, but damn!

The Situation and his abs only had 5 days to train with Karina.  I hope this shit doesn’t make me laugh so hard that my neighbors get mad at me!  GTL in the ballroom!  He is such a clown, I love it LOL!  I don’t even know what to say after that!  I am going to vote for him as much as possible JUST to be sure he sticks around long enough!  That shit was hella funny.  I tried to watch my language, but I couldn’t help it.  Hilarious.  Aight, his score is 15!  A senior citizen did better than him!

Up next, Jennifer Grey aka Baby!  She’s dancing with Derek.  Shocker…NOT!  Poor baby.  She was taken back to being with Patrick Swayze and broke down:(  Very sad.  I hope she does this one for him.  WHAT!!  You betta dance girl!  She has it still.  Ain’t missed a step!  I am really enjoying her!  Awesome!!!  That was so good!  I’m predicting Brandy and Jennifer in the final two!  I love her even more for not giving Brooke Burke much in the interview lol.  She’s as annoying as Samantha.  24 for Baby!

Last up, The Hoff.  I know this is going to be some mess, but maybe Kym can pull this off.  He’s just too cheesetastic for words!  Lord help, he can’t even remember the steps let alone do them.  He needs a drink…or maybe he had some before rehearsal.  Here we go with a cha cha cha.  If ya’ll could see the look on my face right now as this man thrusts his hips dancing to “Sex bomb sex bomb, baby you can turn me on” with fire going off in the background…I don’t even know what the judges are going to say about this.  This was such a hot ass mess!  PLEASE DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS MAN!  He ain’t been sexy in 25 years.  WHY does he think that he’s still sexy?  WHY?  They gave him a 15.  If you ask me, that was generous!

Time for voting.  Who got your votes tonight?  I won’t be blogging live tomorrow for the first results show, but I will post before the night’s over.  Make sure to subscribe to the blog to get the live blogs for the entire season.

…in a minute

Celebrities on Twitter…Our Thoughts

As ya’ll know, there are a ton of celebrities on Twitter.  H&V don’t follow all of them, but we follow a few and must speak on it.  Actually, one in particular irritated the shit outta Vine this morning.   But we figured, why single his ass out?!

Britney Spears – She and her people Tweet sometimes.  She might even follow you.  MIGHT!  Compared to other celebs with 60,000 followers who only follow 15 of their fucking fans like Donnie Wahlberg, Britney is more in the spirit of things!

Ashton Kutcher– The supposed Mayor of Twitterville/King of Twitter probably won’t find you important enough to follow, but he occasionally responds to his admirers.

Guiliana Rancic – She’s fun to follow.  Doesn’t take herself too seriously and definitely interacts with everyone.  She even dishes on celebrities from time to time.

Shaq– Funny as shit to follow.  He pretty much responds to all @replies.  So once you get used to skipping over shit that has nothing to do with you, it’s cool.  He’s been known to leave game tickets at Will Call for his Tweeps.

Lamar Odom – Love him on Twitter!  He’s a witty muthafucka.  Read some of his @replies to fans.  He has charisma!  He won’t sit for hours on end talking to people, but he’ll give as many fans as possible attention a good 20-30 minutes almost daily!  And he’s fine as fuck!

Perez Hilton – Unless you’re a celebrity or think he can say/do no wrong, he won’t acknowledge you.

Marvet Britto– For all ya’ll in PR or getting into PR, you need to follow her ass.  Still one of the baddest bitches in the game.  She gives up PR knowledge daily.  She won’t follow you back, but she does respond to pretty much all questions.

Jim Jones – worth following just to try and decipher his damn updates and read about his crazy antics.

Kelly Rowland – Love her!  She’s sweet and down to earth.  Like we all didn’t know that.  She talks about her life on the daily.  She might follow you if you ask her to and she’ll more than likely respond to your @reply.

Paula Abdul – She responds to every fucking body!  She loves being able to speak directly to her fans.  She tweets about Idol a lot, too.

June Ambrose– God love her and she’s talented as hell, but she tweets too damn much.  We both had to unfollow her.  It’s too much.

Solange Knowles– She’s another one who tweets too much, BUT at least she’s funny sometimes.  Like the other day when she was out and the DJ at the spot wouldn’t play her request so she called him a dickhead LOL!

MC Hammer – There are no words.  You must follow him to understand.

Brandy – She keeps it real!  She even talked about Unique the other day!

Evan Ross and Tracee Ellis Ross – We think both of these are fakes!

Derek Hough– He’s a crack up!  Tweetin’ about how Lil Kim comes like 3 hours late to rehearsal and even takes pics of the clock LOL!

Star Jones – We don’t give a fuck what anyone says, we like Star.  She’s honest, but not too over the top!  She probably won’t follow you, but she will respond to you!

Tyrese – He’s hilarious.  Worth the follow.  He might actually speak to non-celebrity followers, too.

Fantasia – Fake account.  The real Fantasia is not on Twitter! 

Day 26 – Can’t stand these pretentious barely celebrities!  They do not follow their fans nor do they respond!  How the fuck you gonna be traveling around promoting your album and when fans ask when and where you’ll be making an appearance, you don’t respond to them?  What the hell kinda sense does that make?  Day 26, ya’ll are pissing off your fans…with ya’ll down low asses (allegedly)!

We’ll be updating this list from time to time so check back!

Any other celebrity Twitter insight?  Tell H&V all about it!

H&V…in a minute

For the Love of Ray J Recap: 3/30/09

Haven’t we all been waiting for Brandy to appear on this shit?  I hope that she redeems the Norwood fam with this episode, but I ain’t holdin’ my breath.

Down to the Funky Four!  Danger is still bitchin’ about Uniqua being a whore.  How the fuck would she know?  The bitch has a tat on her face AND claimed tonight that she’s in love with Ray.  You ain’t even known this nigga for 3 months.  How are you in love?  She’s crazy, just like Unique’s fat ass said.

Ray came in and asked the Funky Four to write down yes/no questions that can be posed to the others.  Obviously gettin’ ready for the lie detector test.  He’s so slick.  NOT.   

Aight, whoever answers the largest number of questions honestly gets a date with Lil Man. 

Brandy’s asking the questions.  Uniqua is up first!  She fucked up, period!  The other three did her dirty with the questions.  She deserved nothing less if you ask me.

Cocktail is up.  She ain’t do much better.  What threw Ray off the most was when she fessed up to needing a man to “complete her”.  I hate that fucking sayin’.  Bitches get on my nerves with that shit.  He didn’t like it, either.  Oh, she lied when she said she ain’t a gold digger!

Chardonnay and her Jodi Watley hoops are next.  Bitch was honest!  She didn’t seem to lie about a damn thang!  I ain’t mad at her.

Danger and the few screws she has left are on.  She admits to being in love with at least one of her exes AND that she dated someone for money!  THIS BITCH IS CRAZY AS FUCK!  She broke down cuz all her damn crazy shit came out during her session!  Here are some of the highlights:

– she’s thought about killing the other girls in the house

– she’s had a restraining order filed against her by an ex-boyfriend

– she’s stalked an ex-boyfriend

– she’s been called crazy before

Brandy looked like she was wondering why the hell her brother even kept the bitch around that long!  If he keeps her after this week, I don’t feel sorry for shit that this crazy, tattoo on the face ass broad might do to him before this season is over.  For real!  MURDER?  I’m hella cool!

Chardonnay ultimately won the solo date with Lil Man.  She’s so extra the way she talks and shit.  Ghetto shit.  Anyway, at dinner Ray said she has the “homie vibe” and her dick got soft.  I think he’s tryna clean it up, but I can’t tell.  So he decided to take her to a strip club.  How original!  One dolla says she gets own da pole!

Yep, the DJ asked Ray to get her own da pole!  Sooo Chardonnay said she’d do one trick for her man.  If I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes, I wouldn’t believe the shit.  This bitch climbed up to the TOP of the pole like she was in boot camp and dropped down into the splits!  Ray J looked like he came in his pants and if you watched the shit, you know I ain’t lyin’. 

Once he got back to the house, Danger made sure to soften his dick by crying and talkin’ about her feelings.  This nigga just came from watchin’ Chardonnay drop from the damn ceiling into the splits to this shit?  Get the fuck outta here crazy!

Ray gathers his herd cuz he claims to not need another day to make his choice.  He’s gonna make the cut tonight!  They all sweatin’ like whores in church.  Even Uniqua and her necks were lookin’ like Jello.

Oh Lawd, they all look a mess!  Well, Go-Go Dancin’ Gold Digger looked better than the rest.  Unique looked like an usher dressed up for Pastor’s Appreciation Day, Chardonnay said fuck it and threw on the same shit from her pole dancin’ date and Danger looks like a wild animal!

Cocktail..stayin’.  Uniqua…stayin’…It’s down to Chardonnay and Danger – the home girl or the crazy girl.  Which one does he wanna fuck more?  Not Chardonnay/Christa!  He sent her back to the A!  She’ll definitely be the most popular stripper at Magic City now!

Why is Danger wearin’ a dress with hr back fat showin?  Ray thinks that the competition is getting to her…that she’s a good person and NOT crazy!  Aight, then he’s officially crazy, too! 

Next week it’s down to the Triflin’ Three!  Danger gets caught up while meeting Ray’s friend.  Looks like she’s fucked a few of ’em!  This shit is too funny!

…Vine..in a minute

(www.twitter.com/hollywoodNvine)

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