Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Posts tagged ‘Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’

The Bachelor Premiere (Jason Mesnick)

Hollywood & Vine are hooked on this show.  Mainly because we enjoy watching non-black women making fools of themselves on TV!  This isn’t our usual wrap up on a reality show.  This is more our initial thoughts as it went down.  Real time bitches, real time!

First of all, why are these bitches hell bent on wearing shit on night one that does NOT fit their chunky fucking asses?  Almost every single one of these hoes got out the limo and pulled up their strapless dresses.  Bullshit.  Bitch, buy some shit that fits.

We all know that the teachers will fair well.  Why?  We don’t know, but rich men love bitches who spend their days around children.

The one bitch Shannon admitted that she looked at his Myspace page all the time AND that she is a stalker.  Why the fuck would you admit that shit?  Who are we fooling?  White bitches can get away with shit like this.  Not a black bitch.   We couldn’t get away with this shit. 

Speaking of black bitches, did ya’ll notice that there was not a ONE sista in the pack last night?  Damn Jason!!

HOLD THE PHONE!  This stupid ass bitch quit her muthafuckin job (Sharon) in order to come on the Bachelor to meet this ready made family ass fool?  She’s a damn FOOL!  Bitch, ain’t you know it’s a recession?

Why do they write poems?  It sounded like a bad Vanilla Ice rap!  Yeah, bad and Vanilla Ice is redundant.  Sorry! 

Why is this too long bob wearin ass bitch tell Jason about the Laws of Attraction when he was open about being a believer?  IDIOTS.

Brazilian mami was like NOOO white girl, you can’t steal him away.  He went anyway, but that’s not the point.  She was the closest thing to a sista we gettin this season and she was hilarious!

We hate when they try to dance with these fools.  WHY? 

Nicole, the one who wore an orange dress because Ty’s favorite color is orange.  BOOOOOOO!!!  H&V hate corny shit!

Did this bitch really say that you can  tell who a man is by the condiments he puts on his hot dogs?  These crazy ass bitches STILL haven’t understood after TWENTY seasons of the Bachelor that you stand out by BEING YOURSELF!!  They come with these crazy ass gimmicks and just end up embarrassing they mamas!

What’s up with the widowed broad?  You KNOW he has to keep your ass now because you done told him that you are widowed with practically an infant?  We hate to say it, but bitch planned that shit just right.  Her revelation was no accident, trust!

How you gonna act all into government when your tits are hanging out?  Bitch, you ain’t looking too scholarly with your breastasis hanging the fuck out.

How the fuck are they gonna vote a bitch off the island?  That is bullshit ABC and you know it!  What if they vote off the bitch who is most compatible with this fool?  Total bullshit!  H&V think that at this point ABC knows these assholes are not going to stay together so they’re adding whatever drama they can to keep the show interesting for the viewers.

Stephanie is the one who’s widowed.  It’s sad, but we gotta keep it real.  She’s not cute and both of ya’ll having kids is NOT a reason to move forward in a relationship.

Yes, thank you Jesus, he gave a fuckin rose to Melissa from the DCC (Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders)!  Alright now.  We love that bitch.

Did ya’ll watch this shit last night?  Thoughts?

In a minute…

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