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Posts tagged ‘Dwight Eubanks’

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S3 Premiere (Live Blog)

Our bitches are BACK!  So excited and before it even starts, I’m laughing at the finale of last season when Sheree said She by Sheree is here to stay…but she’s already onto something else!  These ladies neva disappoint.  What happened with Nene and Gregg?  Kim’s a lesbian now!  Lisa has left the show!  Kandi’s dating Willis McGahee or some shit!  Two new housewives!  Bring it!

Thank gaaaawd, they stopped showing Kandi doin’ the prep in the intro!  We’re startin off with Sheree acting out  a scene with Father Time!  She was better off as a fashion designer!  You have no acting experience, Sheree?  Noooo shit!  Her newfound passion is acting so SBS is on hold for a second.  She’s dating an actor and now she’s ready to win an Oscar.  Lord have mercy!  Nene came over and is as shocked as us that Sheree is tryna act.  NeNe has gossip.  Kim announced in Life & Style that she’s a lesbian and they think it’s funny!

NeNe invited her over so they can discuss their “friendship”.  Oooh NeNe girrrl, that open back does not do you justice girl!  Well, whatever is going on w/her and Gregg must not have happened yet cuz they’re gettin along like normal.  Here comes Kim still talkin’ about NeNe strangled her!  She’s a damn LIE!  Nene’s hair cut is TOUGH!  Kim got a new wig!  The Leakes got a new house.  Gregg didn’t even wanna be there w/those two LOL!  He left.  What was different about Tracy?  She was single and famous, that’s what’s different!  NeNe you know damn well Kim would fuck a chicken as long as it’s famous enough LOL!  Aight here she goes.  NeNe said she doesn’t know where she and Gregg are going.  She’s now the bread-winner and his old ass is sittin’ at home!  Ahh shit, Kim said that Dwight told her that Gregg asked HIM for $10,000!  NeNe did not know.  Oooooo weeee!  That is ugly!  NeNe is mad as hell at Gregg, but madder at Dwight!  She’s right, he is supposed to be her girlfriend; he shouldn’t be tellin’ her business to anyone, ESPECIALLY KIM AND HER LOOSE LIPS! (commercial)

Kandi is over at Kim’s talkin’ about her new dude, the NFL player, Willis McGahee.  He flew down to the A to meet her.  I’m not tryna be funny, but why?  OH EM GEE!  Kandi is packin’ a mean punch and I don’t mean in her fist…WHAT has she been eatin’ since the last season ended?  Kandi is bothered that Kim is hanging with NeNe again.  Why doesn’t she get that Kim is the lunatic in that duo?  See, Kandi thought that Kim was going to keep her new love of women to herself, so why was it in Life & Style Weekly?  Kandi is just not that smart!  After all this time, she still ain’t seen Kizzie’s true media whoring colors?

Over at some rock climbin’ spot, Kandi and Willis are on a date!  They shoulda gone running, but anyway.  Did this ninja say “Celo-vet”?  Not celibate!  I need to watch that again.  That seemed like a brother and sister hanging out, not too people w/the hots for each other.  I have more chemistry with the bottle of water sitting next to me right now!

Kizzie’s oldest daughter is dating now!  Again, WHY?  Okay, parents are gonna stop lettin’ these hot in the ass little girls date when they can’t even drive a damn car!  Uh huh, she’s already kissing and she knows what a whore is!  She is THIRTEEN years old!  Why does she get to date?  If Kizzie’s daughter keeps eatin’ ice cream like that, she won’t have to worry about boys tryna kiss her!  Just sayin…(commercial)

Here goes a newbie, Phaedra and she’s either pregnant or has a beer belly!  She’s talkin’ all this shit about being such a southern lady…I bet she’ll be the first one to kick up some shit!  Her husband’s name is Apollo.  She made him sign a prenup.  BTW she thinks that means he doesn’t want her money ROFL!  I don’t like her already!  Too self-righteous.  She’s an attorney to the black, hood stars!  Of course, she’s friends with Dwight!  Let’s keep it real, a TRUE southern bell wouldn’t be caught dead in Dwight’s house!  She’s Dwight’s attorney, allegedly.  So he can’t afford to breathe through his nose, but he has an attorney on tap?  Wait, he said he spent $30,000 of his own money on the She by Sheree fashion show?!!  I’ll ask again…WHY?  Is Phaedra an attorney or fucking Emily Post?  This broad is pretentious as hell!

NeNe and Kim are attending an event & Ms. Eubanks is gonna be there.  NeNe is now confronting Gregg about allegedly asking to borrow money!  Gregg is LYING!  Believe me when I tell you, that man is lying through his crooked teeth.  Aight, he said that he and Dwight went in on a small $500 each investment.  The “deal” fell through!  Deal LOL!!  He called it a deal LMAO!  Let me tell ya’ll what really happened.  Gregg pulled Dwight into a pyramid scheme after it was hot!  Nobody came in under them and they lost their money.  Book it!

Lawrence is over at Sheree’s so they can go shoe shopping.  I’m gonna go head & say it, I am SICK of seeing men on TV wearing fucking high heels and hand bags!  Stop it!  Sheree said she’s confronting Dwight at the spot tonight.  She said he did help, but no WAY did he put 30k into her shit!

I’ll say this much, don’t nobody on any of the Housewives show party like when Kizzie and NeNe get together!  NOBODY!  NeNe’s sort of done with the negative roller coaster with her marriage.  Kizzie ain’t seen it in a long time.  NeNe doesn’t know that she’s still in love with Gregg.  She said she likes him a little bit!  That is NOT good!

Why is Phaedra’s skirt short enough to see where her baby’s bout to come from?  Gross.  Nobody wants to see a pregnant broad’s chucky!

Dwight is about to show his face!  What’s his deal?  Phaedra called NeNe ghetto and all kind of shit 5 minutes ago before commercial now she wants NeNe to hug her?  GTFOH!

Dwight ripped up NeNe’s $500 check.  She went OFF!  Dwight told her to get out of his face.  She told him to watch his hands!  All he can say is get her outta my face.  He all kinds of shit to say behind her back, but didn’t have shit to say in her face.  Phaedra said that a lady does not act like that!  Guess what?  A lady does not go out the house in a mini skirt while she’s pregnant!  Party OVA!  The show ended with NeNe thanking Kim (and Sheree in absentia) for havin her back and scenes from the season!

I thought that was WELL worth the wait.  What did ya’ll think?

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Finale

Does Dwight have a wave nouveau?  I mean for real.  Sheree is forever talking about the who’s who of Atlanta.  We heard you the first season, damn.  “Her imagination is not connecting”!  Dwight is hilarious. 

Lisa, you’re “allowing” your husband to take charge?  Allowing?  With that attitude we’ll be seeing her 3rd husband by season 3!  Ed is trying to tell her what’s right and she’s too busy wantin’ to floss!  Bitch, you can’t afford to floss.  Move into a smaller house that Ed already owns and call it a fucking day.  Tryna go broke to keep up appearances.  Dumb ass.

NeNe sat her family down and told them about Allen, her biological father.  Gregg does not seem pleased.  He is such a good man.  “My job is to protect you.  I don’t take my job lightly”.  What is not to love about that man?  We don’t totally feel NeNe because we both know who our fathers are, but we can empathize with her wanting to know her dad.  On the other hand, Gregg is right, too!  That is his wife.  He’s been there for her when this jive muthafucka Allen knew good and hell well he was her father but didn’t step up to the plate until now!  Fuck that – he doesn’t wanna see her shed tears, yet again, behind this situation.

Over at NeNe’s, she’s filling Lisa in on the Gregg/Allen issue.  Lisa actually gave her good advice.  Don’t go sneaking behind that man’s back because of that greazzzzy ass Allen. 

Kandi and AJ with all those damn kids look like they’re at the last supper.  Kandi’s mama wasn’t slick.  She laid off AJ because that wasn’t working!  She put in enough work at deterring Kandi that she knew eventually Kandi would see the light…which she did.

Does anyone else realize that Kizzie has a drinking problem?  I’m not judging her…just sayin.  How does she figure that she no longer needs sexy clothing because she’s “engaged”?  Girl please!  That man doesn’t want you walkin around lookin like an old maid.  if that were the case, he’d be faithful to his wife!  That broads shoes are killin’ em though!  What Kim fails to understand is that NeNe doesn’t give a fuck about that damn song.  It’s the way she went behind her back about it.  Guess that would be hard to see if you’re hella narcissistic!

OMG Dwight has two thrones in his home LOL!  Aight, Kim’s giving her version of the fight to Kandi while NeNe is giving Dwight her version.  Needless to say, we believe NeNe all day EVERYday!  Kim is a muthafuckin liar!  She knows good and hell well that if NeNe had choked her without being touched first, she would’ve filed charges!  NeNe ain’t in jail cuz she didn’t do shit wrong.  I wish that bitch would put hands on me!  I’d choke her ass too!

She by Dwight Sheree is preparing for the fashion show.  If this nigga ain’t clean, I don’t know who is!  Dwight is doing IT!  Here comes Sheree looking like a hostess at PF Changs.  This fool is tryna pull a make up artist off of a model to do her…WAIT, NOW SHE WANTS TO LEAVE TO GET HER HAIR DONE???  What the fuck is wrong with Sheree?  Seriously, she is not playing with a full deck.  Why wouldn’t you get your fucking hair done before three hours BEFORE your “baby”?  She’s a joke.  Bravo TV, please fire this broad!

Over at Kim’s whore house, NeNe is once again tryna be the bigger person with this crazy bitch…to no avail.  Kim LOOKS like she’s lying.  NeNe might be a lot of things, but she didn’t put her hands on Kizzie out the clear blue sky.  Is your wig squeezin’ your brain too tight HEFFA?  Did NeNe just levitate out her seat?  She’s out!  Bitch please LOL!  How can ya’ll not love her?

Kandi is so bootsy.  Who the hell still uses chair covers in the 21st century?

Thank you, Dwight.  Hook up Sheree’s mane and call it a night.  Lisa looks good in that dress, but her accessories look like snakes around her neck.  NeNe never half steps.  Kandi’s BAMA and has some nerve talkin’ about good thang NeNe don’t get paid to think.  Kim is steadily sayin something about NeNe and her negative energy yet she won’t get her name out her mouth!  Make up your mind.  Kandi is about as fake as they come.  She has no history with Kim.  Why is she so tight with her?  What’s in it for her ass?  She is not hardly as innocent as all of her newfound bandwagon jumpers think she is!

Here’s what I want to know about She by Sheree.  How did her line shown at the W in Atlanta look better thn the bullshit she showed at damn New York Fashion Week?  Just sayin…

And now for the so called updates:

Sheree is now working on a line of exercise videos LOL!  Really?!  Really Sheree?  Not a single update bout She by Sheree being carried in department stores, boutiques or online.  Is her website even up yet?  Weak.

Lisa nd Ed are co-authoring a parenting book?  SMH.  Listen, nobody wants to buy a book allegedly written by a former NFL player and his wife unless you’re going to tell groupies how to get pregnant by a ball player.  Just keepin’ it real.  Oh yeah, Lisa’s still not pregnant because she’s going through the change.

Kuntry Kandi – we know her story

Kizzie – we know her story, too…OH, she and Big Papa are no longer together.

DAMNIT, tivo didn’t record NeNe’s update.  What did it say ya’ll?

Another season has come to an end.  I know, I know, but we’ll always have the reunions shows AND Orange County starting soon.  Tell us your thoughts on Season 2.

…Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 11

It’s not as fun watching alone without Hollywood, but fuck it.  The show must go own!

Okay, am I the only one who has a moment every time Kandi does the prep in the intro?  Moving on…

Batting lead off is Kim shopping with Kandi.  I hope bitch apologizes for missing her performance.  She ain’t right.  Oh shit, she wants to put off her absence on her kid being sick!  That nappy headed nanny is the one raising those kids, not Kizzie.  Let’s be honest.  Kizzie, how do you “decide” that you love someone?  Is she crazy?  

Over to Lisa and NeNe’s asses.  What abuse did Lisa endure?  She plays the perfect, flawless life role.  Who abused her?  Not being funny; just asking.  NeNe is back to wondering who her biological father is.  Lord, can ya’ll imagine who her daddy is based on seeing her ass in motion?  He must be a COLD PIECE!

Lisa making the rounds tryna stay relevant.  Now she’s at Kandi’s house.  Her clothing line is doing well supposedly and Ed wants to get back on the field.  Well nigga shit, you done, sorry!  Let that shit go.  Find another way to be in the NFL mix.  He can’t be any worse than Rodney Harrison talking about the “PITCHBIRD” Steelers! 

Oh gawd, over to Sheree and her promo video shoot!  She needs to lay this clothing line to rest already.  NOBODY wants to wear her clothes.  I’d rather walk around with Apple Bottom Jeans on than some Sheree shit.  How is she gonna clown Lisa and say she’s not average when EVERYTHING about her ass is average and has been since she met Bob in that fucking bucket?  Keep it all the way real Sheree?  You ain’t fly.  You came up; leave it at that!

Ed needs to give up his hoop (field) dreams and try to find a job commentating.  Nigga you done.  I’m sorry to say, but you are.  Stop letting your dick ego run you and find another way to fool with pro football.  On the field ain’t gone happen.  He still wanna play in the league.  You and everyone else.  You better find some pick up flag football games to get into!  Why are we even discussing this in season 2 of this show?  Ed was done last season.  He confirmed it this season when he was driving around in that SUV on stock!  It’s been time to hang up the cleats.  Nobody has picked you up in 2 seasons.  He acting like it’s his damn choice! 

She by Sheree is NOT classy nor elegant!  What is this bitch smoking?  She needs to listen to Dwight and let that bootleg shit be what it is!  And what it is is NOT elegant or classy!  She feels like Dwight is overbearing because she’s hella janky!  If it were up to her, she’d have yet another fashion show without fashion!  Her diva attitude is going to give her a jacked up clothing line like Eve…keep own.

Kandi is yappin about her new album.  NEXT…

OMG NeNe’s race is on the way.  Dwight looks like a hungry Ethiopian trying on clothes at Forever 21 during their first visit to the United States.  Lord have mercy, I need to go to church on Sundee.  NeNe’s gay friend from L.A. makes a better woman than he does a man!  Do ya’ll see this shit?  For real, I am not joking.  I can’t believe I’m watching this GNR!  You see that Ed did NOT partake in this bullshit!

How did a MAN win a race running in high heels!

Aight, so Lisa’s about to take a pregnancy test while Ed waits.  Damn, she’s not pregnant.  Poor Ed looked hella depressed.

What did everyone think of this episode?

…Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 10

Is that nappy headed girl with Kim her assistant?  The party planner’s wig is jacked up, too!  The only one at that table looking right AND looking at Kizzie like she’s a damn fool was the one with the bob.  All the salons in the A and ya’ll look like that bad.

Lisa just got to NeNe’s talking about the fight at the party with Kizzie nd Kandi.  Frankly, both of us think that Kandi is the jealous one, not NeNe.  Kandi plays that perfect role, but she also gives off the vibe that she thought she was Kandi Burress and was gonna run shit when she got on the show.  No ma’am, that is NeNe’s show!

OH MY GAWD….THAT KIIIIIM mmph mmph “>mmph mmph, SHE’S A DIRTY LOW DOWN MONKEY WIT A WIG OWN!  I LOVE NeNe’s ass!

Dwight and Sheree together…hot mess!  Of course Sheree came to him for help!  She’s such a trendsetter and socialite, but she can’t pull shit off on her own!  What runway show have you seen with props and shit all over the place?  Dwight is tryna help this broad, but she just won’t listen!  Why ask someone for fucking help if you don’t wanna listen!  Models with ponytails.  Dwight said “Please not!”  This man is a reality show waiting to happen.  Another fashion show without fashion!

Kandi and AJ…so sad and hard to watch!  She’s talking with food in her mouth, like we don’t already have a hard enough time understanding the words coming out her mouth!

Was that Papa dropping Kizzie off?  He is a cold piece.  Kim can’t sing a single note!  Not a one.  Don Vito said “FIND YOU A KEY!”  GNR!  Not THE key, A key…ANYkey!  That shit is hilarious.  I am not leaving till I see daylight…at this rate, she’ll never see daylight tryna finish this damn song! 

Kizzie sittin there talking to Kandi the same way her ass did last season with Sheree.  That is why NeNe calls her ass out.

Lord, Sheree and her messy friend flew to New York…probably with a buddy pass.  Sheree has been wearing that same DVF leather jacket for 2 years now!  I don’t know what happened between her meeting with the seamstress and Fashion Week, but the clothes she put on the runway did not look half as good as the shit Casey made for her!

Kizzie’s make-up artist told her she looks how one should…blond with white teeth and shiny lips.  Kizzie added “and big cojones”…ya’ll KNOW she thinks that means tits, right?  You know she did!

Aight, tonight’s the party!  Kizzie, her bad rug, shiny lips and big cajones are in the Rolls heading out.  Sheree is so fucking phony!  Why are you there?  Wasn’t she just tellin’ Kandi three episodes ago that she’d learn sooner than later about Kim?  Now she’s chilin’ t her party?

Question, how does one get engaged when they are already married?  Just askin…

Kim isn’t serious.  She doesn’t think that she can sing now?  All she did was lend her voice to Don Vito and Kandi.  They did the rest with the help of Jesus and electronics.

Notice how Lisa always has to knock Ed down a peg?  She said since he hasn’t been playing ball for a minute, he helps run “her” businesses!  But when he was still in the league, they were co-owners of shit?  Ed would make a good commentator with just a little work. 

Over at Tongue and Groove, Kandi’s getting ready to perform.  Shit, I’m nervous for her.  Wait a minute, Kim couldn’t show her damn face?  But that’s her “friend”.  She loves her.  And Kandi handed her a top 10 single on a silver platter.  Yo ass couldn’t make an appearance?  Dirty!

…H & V…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Wrap-Up

Well fuck it, let’s just go from start to finish!  Did ya’ll see this shit?  Why does Bravo cut and paste these shows so damn much?  It annoys the shit out of Hollywood and Vine, but here it goes.

Some nobody ass white boy hosted the reunion and started off with Kim.  They replayed her infamous K-A-T spelling bee with Dallas Austin.  When asked what the fuck was wrong with her dumb ass, she said “I messed up.  I’m human”.  She said that like she made a mistake and fucked a married man.  Oh wait a minute, she did!  But spelling CAT wrong is just shameful.  You learn how to spell CAT when you’re 3 years old by pointing to a picture of a cat and repeating what the toy tells you! 

Sheree goes on to say that she felt it was important for herself and the other black women to represent for black women in America.  She might have felt it was important, but this bitch damn sure did NOT do shit to make sistas look any better!  Hell, Dwight Eubanks made sistas look better than Sheree’s triflin’ ass.

NeNe was ready for Sheree and Kim’s asses tonight!  Them hoes ain’t want one!  Moving on, some dumb white bitch wrote in asking if NeNe is truly an ex-stripper.  Why waste a question on the fruit lady when she could have gone online to find the answer to that shit@@  Anyway, NeNe broke it down that she strips for Gregg’s old ass most nights!  Gregg looks like he puts it DOWN.  Hollywood doesn’t like old niggas, but Vine ain’t mad at NeNe!  You better work bitch…

They showed a clip of Kim doing what she called singing…“there’s a tight rope/between me and you”.  Hollywood and Vine wish the only tight rope near Kim would be tied around her vocal cords so we wouldn’t have to hear that shit ever again!  Kim goes on to talk about how her album is being released the first week in January 2009.  While we sat here laughing at her, it became clear that she really believes that her voice is a God given talent.  Who did she blow to get a record deal?  We’re just askin’…

Kim was way too comfortable telling NeNe to ‘back ya ass up’ and throwing around the word bitch!  Ya’ll can’t tell us that Big Papa ain’t black!  No white bitch would feel that comfortable calling a black woman out her name unless she felt like she got a nigga pass!

Kim said that it was her choice not to tell who Big Papa was, but when the show first started, she said point blank that Big Papa chose not to be revealed because he is a celebrity.  Which one is it?  This broad can’t even lie right. 

Speaking of out and out lies, Kim told the worse muthafuckin lie that she could have thought of.  First of all, what was with the white girl tears?  As much as those bitches break out in tears for no reason, you’d think that they’ve learned to actually shed a tear.  This broad didn’t say that she went to the doctor to have tests run.  She said that a FRIEND of hers who’s a doctor (yeah right) said he was 90% sure that she had Cancer.  BASED ON WHAT?  Then it turned out not to be Cancer.  Bitch threw that in there at the end like those side effect disclaimers on medication commercials!

Sheree had the NERVE to say that DeShawn’s auction was an embarrassment.  Yeah it was, but it was no more of an embarrassment than her outfit that night.  It was no more embarrassing than her muthafuckin ass having a fashion show with no fucking clothes!  That’s why we don’t like Sheree’s ass…because she is always trying to play someone when her shit ain’t on point either!

One thing that Hollywood and Vine hate is when people say shit as fact that they know nothing about.  Sheree’s dumb ass said that most designers don’t sketch or sew.  Um, what the fuck designers does she know because Hollywood and Vine know quite a few real designers and they ALL sketch and sew!  No, all of them don’t, but MOST?  Come on now.  This bitch just be runnin’ her damn mouth.  That’s why her ass is single.  Saying Michael Knight is JUST known in Atlanta.  Is she crazy?  Sheree’s other problem is that she is trying so fucking hard to act like she’s nonchalant about men and she’s not a gold digger, but all that is a front to try and attract yet another nigga with money!  We see through you Sheree and niggas will, too! 

Just a few more observations about the show:

– Why did Sheree’s birthday cake look like a bowling bag?

– We won’t even touch Sheree’s “HAVE YOU SAW HER” comment.

– Sheree said she tried to keep it “classy”.  Doesn’t the use of the word classy show your lack of class?

– Kim, just a tip sweetie, when you tell muthafuckas how many nigga friends you have, then your ignorant ass is suspect, if not racist.

– Kim told NeNe “Fuck you”, but 15 minutes later said she was over her issues with NeNe.  We think her wig is too tight.

– Lisa looked great!  Her make up was young and fresh, she pulled herself together well for the reunion.  But, she said that she thinks there’s a lot of water under the bridge with the other ladies so it would be hard to repair things.  Boo, we’re starting to like you, but we have to let you know that water under the bridge is a good thing!  It means you’ve moved on.  Lisa must have learned some of her American phrases from her father, Stanley Wu, because her shit don’t be translating properly!

– Props to DeShawn Snow!  DeShawn’s hair might have looked like hell, but the bitch’s attitude tonight was so on point!  She rose above all the bullshit and kept it Christian and positive; we can’t be mad at that.  Anyone trying to bring her down, she just let them know bitch, I’m not coming down to your level (Sheree)!  Bravo bitch, bravo!

Last, but certainly not least, we have two words for ya’ll…DWIGHT EUBANKS!  Was that muthafucka not fierce tonight?  Nigga’s wet and wavy weave looked like it grew right out his scalp.  We love this fool.  He truly was the 6th housewife.  He kept it DIVO tonight, but we fell out when he told Kim he would bring her into the 21st Century!  Now Kim, you know you ain’t on point when the gays play you on national tv.

We hope we’re done with the Atlanta Housewives until their next season because we already see the OC women are going to wear us out all over again!

Did ya’ll see the reunion?  Tell Hollywood and Vine what you think.

In a minute

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