Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Posts tagged ‘For the Love of Ray J’

For the Love of Ray J: Episode 2

It’s been on 2 minutes and I already want to start drinking heavily!  Why are they surprised that Caviar has a boyfriend (maybe even a husband)?  Oh Lord, please stop this broad from talkin.  Ray J send that bitch home!

So this nigga gave the women the task of doing a 10 web cam sex video.  Now, I am exaggerating, but that’s pretty much what this nasty muthafucka wants…for his dick to rise!

Danger starts having a fucking panic attack!  I know I shouldn’t laugh, but was this not the funniest, most ironic shit on Celebreality?  The bitch had the balls to get a tat on her fucking face and neck, but got nervous about doing a damn video chat?  Then Chardonnay had the nerve to talk shit about Danger getting emotional.  Um, wasn’t this broad crying like a baby when she thought Ray was sending her nasty ass home?  These bitches are losers!

Since I don’t have Hollywood to discuss this shit with, will someone tell me when go-go dancing, speaking in Russian, poundin beer from an over-sized funnel, sounding like you’re in round one of American Idol auditions and doing a toe touch with the assistance of a 3 ft. tall  bed became talents?  What the fuck was that?  The only bitch with a talent was the fucking ballerina!  Bravo has some funny muthafuckas workin there because they put the subtitles up on the Russian broad but the shit looked Arabic!  Love it.

Genuine confessed that she is partially there for exposure with her acting career.  The only thing getting exposure is her gut while she was belly dancing!  Not only that, but the nigga is one of the Executive Producers.  Does she think he won’t see the confessional shit before he makes a fucking decision?  These bitches are so dumb that they don’t deserve the opportunity to advance their careers! 

Wait a minute, it just came back from commercial and Stilts went from a Rihanna cut to a bob.  Did she get a quick weave or put a wig on during the commercial?  That shit looked like a wig.  Why change up somethin that ain’t broke?

In the end, it came down to Atomic Bomb and the fat belly dancer.  Ray J ended up sending both they asses home!  Wow, that shocked the shit out of me!  I didn’t see that coming at all!  Well hell, at least he didn’t lead them on.  I have a little, just a little, respect for him now!

Before I go, I have one request.  Danger, PLEASE wax your fucking lip!  Damn!

In a minute…

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For the Love of Ray J: Episode 1

Hollywood & Vine are well aware that this shit premiered last week.  But it’s taken us this fucking long to decide whether or not we even want to bothered recapping this bullshit on a weekly basis.  Hollywood is out!  Won’t watch or discuss the shit!  Me, Vine, was so disgusted that I had to vent somewhere since my other half won’t fucking listen.  So, be prepared for me to go the hell off every week behind this shit.  It’s a fucking train wreck – I can’t turn away!

The show starts out with a bunch of hoodrats in a bullshit club screamin like a bunch of fucking wild boars!  Ray J just looks like a tiny tot to me.  He’s short and just ain’t sexy.  Why do bitches love this nigga?  Oh yeah, the dick!

This one broad named Jerri said she had a crush on Ray J when she was a little girl.  Um, that old bitch ain’t been a little girl in 20 years!  Then the chick Christa said she’s perfect for him because she can put her legs behind her head.  So, she’s a stripper.  Another broad said that she’s a black Barbie.  Didn’t Barbie’s have a relaxer? 

He must be an embarrassment to his family!  Did anybody else notice Ray J  talkin to his God sister “Lil B” like she was his maid?  What the fuck was that all about?

Lord this is going to be painful to watch.  This stripper acts like she’s never seen a nice car or damn rims before.  Brokey!  What I wanna know is why do the bitches on these shows act like these mansions actually belong to these men?  They act like they’ve never been out the fucking projects before.

So far Danielle (Unique) is one of the only ones I might like.  She might need to come her damn hair, but at least she’s funny.  Leah (Cashmere) is pretty and seems to have some damn sense. 

Did anyone see the fat bitch walkin round with a bikini top on and a tattoo on her damn face?  What really cracked me up was the bitch with the tattoo on her face calling someone else a whore or desperate.  How the fuck desperate for attention does she look with a damn tattoo on her face?  They find the most ignorant muthafuckas for this shit, I swear!

Tell the truth, ya’ll were surprised that they could count to 12, let alone 14 weren’t you?  I was too.

So, it comes down to the last 3 ladies – well, women.  This bitch Chardonnay starts crying like a baby.  Ray J let Hot Cocoa go.  I was disappointed.  The fact that he kept Chardonnay makes me never wanna pour myself a glass ever again!

Just a few random thoughts:

When did doing the splits become the way to show a man you’re interested? 

This Black Russian is givin me  damn headache with all that accent talkin. 

Chardonnay is annoying!  She needs to step her weave game up!  

I’ll have my drinks ready for every time Ray J’s ass says fuckin “classy”!  Ya’ll know how much H&V hate that word!

Did ya’ll watch this shit?  Thoughts?

In a minute…

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