If you haven’t been living under a rock or you’re messy like us, then you know one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, had a press conference scheduled for today! Well, bitch cancelled. This has Gloria Allred written all over it.
Now word on the street is that Mr. Woods reached out to Rachel last night and offered to pay her off! Didn’t we say that she’d have a book deal by Friday? Well it’s Thursday and no way in hell did Gloria Alred let her accept an offer that wouldn’t pay her what a book and appearances would have…and then some!
Tiger, next time you see a hot chick that you’d like to fuck, I’d suggest writing her a check instead. It will cause you less grief and make you seem like a generous, nice guy!
…Vine…in a minute
Where do we start? He is so stupid! What kinda self-respecting playa would leave a voice message talking about “HEY THIS IS TIGER”! GNR! He might as well have said “Hey, this is Tiger Woods of the PGA, Earl Woods’ son”. He all but asked for these sidechicks to save his messages for a rainy day!
If you follow us on Twitter, we told ya’ll the other day when this whole accident bullshit came out that it was a farce! Elin whooped Tiger’s ass with a nine iron and busted up the niggas Escalade! What I (Vine) think is funny about the situation is that Tiger Woods thought he would bypass all this scally wag tom foolery by marrying a white woman AND recruiting white chicks as jumpoffs! He thought had he married LaQuita Jackson he would have to deal with ghetto shit. Well guess what Cablonasian, you still have to deal with it with your Norwegian babysitter! If that ain’t irony, I don’t know what is.
Now this chick, Rachel Uchitel, has teamed up with Gloria Allred (Vine loves her, Hollywood hates her)! So you can’t tell me she won’t have a book deal by Friday morning when they ring the bell at the stock market!
Here’s the thing, we are not hardly mad at Rachel or his other jumpoff, Jaimee Grubbs, for spilling the beans! These broads did not fuck themselves! Tiger is the one who took vows and while they shouldn’t have fooled with him, he walked straight into this mess, period! He had no problem using these broads. Now he’s getting what he deserves! It’s not their fault that Tiger couldn’t keep it in his pants! If men would learn to just NOT get married so they can get off with every Rachel, Jamie and Sally that they meet, they wouldn’t have to worry about public scrutiny and muthaluvas being in their business!
I hope Gloria Alred gets fly girl as much as possible. I’ll buy the book. If there are more Tiger texts talking about “when is the last time you’ve been fucked”, I’m game! That’s as much soul as he’s EVA displayed!
…H & V…in a minute