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Posts tagged ‘Jennifer Grey’

Dancing w/the Stars: S11 E2 (Live Blog)

As I’m watching all of the “stars” dancing at the opening, I want Jennifer Grey to stick to choreographed moves.  Now that we’re without the sex bomb Hoff, I can cringe a bit less tonight.

We’re starting off with Rick Fox and a Jive.  I LOVE this dance.  I hope he can pull it off.  He has a tendon issue.  Let’s see how this works out.  He’s actually a good partner.  She’s not draggin his ass all over the floor like Chelsie is doing w/Michael Bolton.  Cheryl’s ass thinks she’s slick putting all that ass slappin’ in the routine!  I see you Cheryl.  That was a lot of fun.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty good for a Week 2 jive!  See, the judges are sayin’ exactly what I’m saying.  Ya’ll think I’m crazy, but I speaketh the truth:)  Let’s see what all that means for scores…21!  Not bad.  (Commercial)

Up next, Florence Henderson.  I know she’s America’s mom, but she ain’t mine.  She bores me, but aight let’s see her Quick Step.  Hopefully it’s not more like a half time step!…….Ummmm.  Didn’t I just say the half time step?!  That’s what it was.  I’ve seen people mover faster running through a club when I fight breaks out!  That was terrible.  Okay, Bruno said she looked like Driving Miss Daisy LOL!  Carrie Ann liked it and thought it was elegant.  Oh stop it, Carrie Ann.  It’s okay to tell a 76-year-old that she sucked!  Len loved it, too!  They need to quit.  They know good and hell well the producers told them to keep her around!  Now for her scores…Wait a minute, why does Brooke Burke even have on a dress?  I think I actually saw her implants shift that damn dress is cut so low.  Flo got a 19!

Alright now Brandy!  Bring it bitch!  She and Maks are arguing in rehearsals.  WHY do these celebrities argue with their pro partners?  Listen to what they’re tryna teach you and MOVE ON, damn!  She better Jive her ass off after that.  Oh gawd, she did a little booty shaking mid dance.  Len is going to HATE that!  Oh geez, Sassy Sarah Palin is in the audience tonight.  I’m going to throw up!  Back to Brandy, she didn’t have much attack or sharpness tonight.  Carrie Ann didn’t like it!  Len thought she took steps backward from last week.  Yep, Len said that she didn’t dance with intent!  Bruno said she was only okay and she wasn’t sharp or precise enough!  Mmmm hmmm.  (Commercial)  21 for Brandy! (3406)

Michael Bolton better not come with another cringe worthy performance!  He’s doing a jive.  I am not expecting too much from him.  For real Chelsie?  You want him to crawl out of a dog house cuz you’re dancing to hound dog?  The pros KNOW that Len hates that shit.  Just get to the dancing already.  This is already fucking dumb!  I made it through like 3 people without cussing.  I tried.  Sorry folks, I can’t watch!  He O-fficially needs to be sent home tomorrow!  Do not vote for this man LOL!  I see why Nicolette Sheridan laid him off.  If he moves like that in bed, well never mind!  He better get lower than a 15 cuz that’s what he got last week and last week was better!  Len said that Michael’s jive needed a pooper scooper to finish it off LOL!  Hilarious.  Bruno told him that he shoulda kept the bone and gone back into the dog house LMFAO!  I’ll say this much, yes he’s a bad dancer, but Chelsie did him a disservice as his professional partner with that bullshit!  OH EMM GEE he got a TWELVE LMFAO!!  Bruno gave this mofo a THREE!  DAYUM!

Audrina and Tony are up next.  I think she’s gonna do a good Quick Step..an ACTUAL quick step, Flo!  Here go the tears.  She’s sad cuz she barely gets to see her latest loser boyfriend and it’s taking a toll on their “relationship”!  Spare me your sob story and dance!  Audrina did her thing tonight!  That was good.  I hope Carrie Ann gets on her about not pointing her toes like she did Brandy.  Aight, Bruno liked it although there were issues at time.  Carrie Ann I guess overlooked that b/c she only sang her praises.  Len said it was the best performance of the night…so far and he was right!    Wait, Tony said in rehearsal that if they don’t get three 8s he’s gonna wax his legs LOL!  Here’s one…two….and Bruno gave them a 7 LOL!

After seeing Jennifer Grey try to dance in the opening, I’m afraid about her jive.  Then again, Derek made it look like Brooke Burke could do any dance.  So she should be fine.  Oh wow, Jennifer found out she had cancer via a routine check up for the show.  She can move very to choreographed steps.  She’s getting it.  Losing a little gas midway through, but hanging on.  She did great, but Audrina was better!  With those extensions in her hair, she actually looks like the Jennifer Grey we all remember.  If I have to hear Brooke talk about how she remembers doing this dance and that dance one more time, I might turn this off!  Scores…24!  Hmmmmm.  I don’t know, but okay.

Oh gawd, Sarah Palin is sitting with Tom.  I know Bruno hates her ass.  For real, Bristol the Pistol?  I could vomit.  I wonder how all of the gay pros feel about her being there knowing that she thinks they are vile individuals!

Margaret Cho up next.  She said people were shunning her ass last week cuz they just knew she was going home.  So did I, but I was wrong.  Louis is tryna keep her from being funny on the dance floor.  Good!  This is a dance competition, not a comedy showcase.  If we wanna see that, we’ll buy tickets to see you live.  (commercial)  Okay.  Why does she look like someone just robbed her.  Uh oh, get it Marge.  Ooops, spoke too soon.  She’s a little wild and keeps forgetting the steps, BUT the steps she does remember she’s puttin her back into ’em lol.  Hey, at least she had fun out there.  I hope she enjoyed it cuz the judges are going to eat her up!  Len was kind.  He just said work on the kicks.  Bruno said that she was all over the place, too.  He also said that when she was relaxed she danced better.  Ya’ll are gonna start listening to Hollywood and me LOL!  Carrie Ann encouraged her fellow Asian American.  Score…18.  Louis doesn’t like the triple 6.  I’m with him, but I’ll leave that alone.

Kyle and Lacey are up next.  I really want Lacey to bring her dark hair back.  Why do white women always want to be blond?  Anyway, she put him on a fast food free diet while they’re on the show.  Yeah, cuz he’s really going to stick to that!  Quick Step, here we go…He looks like a shoe shine man.  Get it big boy.  He is doing IT.  Lacey came to play with this partner.  You can see it in how she’s even dancing!  Alright now.  Bring it judges!  Bring it!!  Bruno said that he needs more control.  BOOOOOOOOO!  Carrie Ann loved it!  Len said he was flat footed, his hold was bad, he had no style, BUT he liked it!  Len is such a grumpy ass old man.  We’ll have scores after the break.  Kurt Warner’s jive is coming up, too.  I don’t know how good that’s gonna be….22 for Kyle and Lacey!

Time for Kurt Warner and his good looking self to take the floor.  Uh oh, Anna is whipping him into shape in the studio.  I’m excited.  This might be good!!  Did he just moonwalk lol?  Oh shit, he’s getting into it now.  But she has to stop letting him add his own flare to their routines.  He was decent.  I enjoyed it, but let’s see what the judges say.  Len loved it.  Bruno too.  Straight to the scores…21!  Not bad  with his sexy self!

I already know that The Situation is not going to do well with the Quick Step.  This jackass fool talking about he wants to dance to hip hop or something that he likes!  Is he pigeon-toed?  Here we go.  Hmmm.  He’s trying really, REALLY hard, but it’s just not working.  Oh lordy, he’s messing up steps.  I think Flo actually moved a lot more quickly than he did.   HOWEVER, we cannot let him go home over something small like not being able to dance LOL!  If ya’ll can keep Kate Gosselin around for half the season, then The Situation can stick around for a bit, too!  18!!!!  I LOVE how Sitch acts like Karina is not even his partner.

Bristol I needed Mark to life my leg for me last week Palin is up next.  Oooh lucky Mark, she brought him to Alaska with her.  I’m sorry, I can’t even watch this shit.  I’ll just wait until they hit the stage.  Quick Step She’s doing the moves, but her face is not connecting with her body.  Her face says that she’s getting a pap smear and her body looks like it’s trying to do the quickstep.  WHY are people standing up for her?  She didn’t do shit.  SEE, Bruno said what I said!  I know that Kelly Osbourne is disgusted by Carrie Ann saying that Bristol reminds her of Kelly.  Negative!  OH COME ON LEN…8???  Get the fuck outta here!  She did not HARDLY dance an 8!

Until tomorrow…in a minute…Vine

Dancing w/the Stars S11: Week 1

Sorry that I’m late for the live west coast blog, but I’m here now.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are up 3rd with a cha cha.  Alright now, get it little chubb rock!  He’s doing his thing!  He moves well for a tela tubby.  Lacey might be in it to win it.  Of course he won’t win, but if he keeps dancing like that, he’ll go far!  My goodness he was good!  The judges loved him!

Okay, while we’re on commercial, Audrina Patridge was first to hit the floor.  She can be good and Tony is the right pro to get her there, but she’s gonna need to shake that monkey!  No wonder Justin Bobby never wanted to commit to her!  Just sayin…Kurt Warner was after her.  Anna is his partner.  I thought he looked promising.  Len hated him, natch, but the other two thought he was good.

Alright, we’re back for Kyle’s score.  23!  Up next, Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke!  Oh gawd, she’s like the Kim Kardashian of the damn ballroom.  She never lets a black athlete get by her hot ass!  “Wow, you’re tall!”  No shit Cheryl.  Damnit he is fine as hell!  He is gliding across the dance floor like he’s done this a million times!  You go boy.  This is so good!  Then they ruined it by showing his girlfriend in the audience at the end.  Oh well.  Anyway, Len is ready to have sex with him.  Bruno will be tryna hump him after he does a samba.  Carrie Ann is ready to propose!  So his scores should be great.  22 for them.  Not bad.

Margaret Cho’s ass almost fell walking down the stairs in the beginning, so this is gonna be a train wreck I’m sure.  All of those tats on her look a fucking mess!  Ewww.  Why is she looking like she’s doing a tango?  She looks hella mad.  DWTS couldn’t buy her a girdle?  Okay, I’m gonna stop.  Her dancing was horrible and throwing some alleged comedy into the routine did not help!  Len is gonna eat her ass up.  Wait a minute, Bruno said WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  LOL!  5s across the board.  15!  Yikes.

Brandy!  HERE WE GO…She might be okay if she’d stop thinking about how gorgeous he is.  Let’s see what she got.  YES, YOU GO BRANDY!  That’s what I’m talking about!  Top THAT!  Top THAT!  She’s so genuinely excited…like a child.  I thought her reaction to the judges praise was refreshing!  The judges gave her 23!  She’s got my vote.

Up next, and it pains me to even type her name, Bristol Palin.  Poor Mark!  She’s in the studio acting like she don’t know how to pop it.  Bitch you have a kid.  Stop frontin!  She has a size does matter t-shirt on for the love of Pete!  OMG LMFAO!  At the end Mark had to actually lift her leg for her LOL!  I mean, she was bad, but she was decent for someone who has never danced or performed in their life.  I’ll give her that!  I missed her score because she bores me.

Florence Henderson is up next!  If she’s anything like Cloris Leachman, I hope they send her ass home sooner than later.  She’s dancing with Corky Ballas.  I don’t get why throw the humor into the routines.  Just get out there and show you can or can’t dance!  That’s an 18 for the 76-year-old Mrs. Brady.

Michael Bolton’s sexy ass is up with his PYT Chelsie Hightower.  She better learn to speak Cat Daddy lol.  Again, let me stop.  Uh oh, this ain’t lookin too promising.  Well, umm err uh…it was his first night.  Damn 16!  Well, he did deserve it, but damn!

The Situation and his abs only had 5 days to train with Karina.  I hope this shit doesn’t make me laugh so hard that my neighbors get mad at me!  GTL in the ballroom!  He is such a clown, I love it LOL!  I don’t even know what to say after that!  I am going to vote for him as much as possible JUST to be sure he sticks around long enough!  That shit was hella funny.  I tried to watch my language, but I couldn’t help it.  Hilarious.  Aight, his score is 15!  A senior citizen did better than him!

Up next, Jennifer Grey aka Baby!  She’s dancing with Derek.  Shocker…NOT!  Poor baby.  She was taken back to being with Patrick Swayze and broke down:(  Very sad.  I hope she does this one for him.  WHAT!!  You betta dance girl!  She has it still.  Ain’t missed a step!  I am really enjoying her!  Awesome!!!  That was so good!  I’m predicting Brandy and Jennifer in the final two!  I love her even more for not giving Brooke Burke much in the interview lol.  She’s as annoying as Samantha.  24 for Baby!

Last up, The Hoff.  I know this is going to be some mess, but maybe Kym can pull this off.  He’s just too cheesetastic for words!  Lord help, he can’t even remember the steps let alone do them.  He needs a drink…or maybe he had some before rehearsal.  Here we go with a cha cha cha.  If ya’ll could see the look on my face right now as this man thrusts his hips dancing to “Sex bomb sex bomb, baby you can turn me on” with fire going off in the background…I don’t even know what the judges are going to say about this.  This was such a hot ass mess!  PLEASE DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS MAN!  He ain’t been sexy in 25 years.  WHY does he think that he’s still sexy?  WHY?  They gave him a 15.  If you ask me, that was generous!

Time for voting.  Who got your votes tonight?  I won’t be blogging live tomorrow for the first results show, but I will post before the night’s over.  Make sure to subscribe to the blog to get the live blogs for the entire season.

…in a minute

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