Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Posts tagged ‘Kara Keough’

Real Housewives of OC: S5 Episode 2

OMG they have carried this dumbass argument into another episode??  Drag much, Bravo?!  Tacky Tamra, YOU are the one who started the fight talkin’ about “bring it on”, but now you are 41 years old and have 4 kids!  Wait a minute, wasn’t Vicki the one up Gretchen’s ass last season talkin about she needed to have Jeff leave her insurance cuz her full-time job was loving and taking care of him?  Does she think we forgot about that?  Now all of a sudden she took the old man for a ride?  I’d whoop Tamra’s ass, but Gretchen got the last laugh so she doesn’t care!  I hope Lynne sees who her real friends are…the two that stayed there with her!

Why is Lynne laughing about her teenage daughter asking to have “one beer” for “relaxation”?  That is far from funny.  In fact, it sounds like another cry for help that Lynne is laughing to loud to hear@@  Everyone sees it but her. 

Slade needs to put that little penis away and Lynne needs to cover them old ass titties.  Nobody wants to see any of that!

Can Tamra and Vicki do something besides get together and stuff their wrinkled faces?  How are they “best friends” yet Vicki had no idea that Tam’s financial situation was as dire as it was?  Sounds like a bullshit friendship to me.  I know more about the lives of friends I met on Twitter than these two busy bodies know about each other.  So Simon is only earning money with his tequila business??  WHY?  He was making plenty of money at the car dealership.  Why wouldn’t he go back to that?  People with families really kill me pulling stunts like this.  I know you don’t wanna sit back behind that desk after living high on the hog, creating your own schedule for a couple of years, but muthaluva, you have kids and a wife whether you want her or not.  Take yo ass to work!  Tamra, take YO ass to work!  That is just ridiculous.  They’re the same two Republicans who think that people shouldn’t sit on their asses when they’re capable of working……but they ain’t workin!  Hypocrites.

Now Jeana is our girl!  She sold some cars, jewelry, art AND the bitch is still working!  That is what you do when you are hurting financially!  I love Jeana for that.  She’s driving that old school big body Benz.  Shit, it’s paid for!  You go Jeana.

Breanna finished her nursing program in 3 years when it usually takes 7 years!  Good for her.  That’s a wonderful accomplishment.  HOWEVA, you can’t tell me that she did that for any other reason than to get started on her career and away from Vicki’s nutty ass LMAO!  Breanna is like I’m OUT!  As a gift, Vicki is treating her and her mother to an Italian vacation.  This should be a train wreck!

Why is Gretchen tryna hawk shit on some hidden side street?  She should create an eBay account and sell her shit to nutjobs like Kim Kardashian does.

What parent in their right mind would take their child to a plastic surgeon to discuss getting work done?  This little girl ain’t old enough to buy a fucking drink, but you’re gonna pay for her to have her body cut up…cuz there’s a lot of competition in Orange County?  No wonder Alexa and Raquel are fucked in the head.  This girl has severe self-esteem issues.  It bothers me that Lynne is trying to put a band-aid over it instead of dealing with the issues.  This is downright pathetic!  And where is the father?  No real man should sit there and watch his daughter feel like that about herself!!  The Curtins SUCK as parents!

Vicki’s mama in Rome is exactly why people in other countries can’t stand Americans!  Damn that woman was ornery as hell.  I’m sorry, I woulda left her ass at home, mother or not!

Back over to Lynne and her two head cases…it’s sad when the 17-year-old is so upset that her mom and sister want to fuck with themselves via surgery that she starts crying!  I’m just smh.  Lynne is too dumb to read between the lines.  Alexa is NOT mad that Raquel gets more material shit.  She’s upset cuz she’s acting out by drinking, etc. and all her parents seem to notice or care about are Raquel’s looks and what kind of car she’s driving!  That little girl is in desperate need of loving parents!  I’m actually upset watching this right now.

Why did it take being broke for Tamra to clean her own house?  The bitch don’t work and has no newborns.  What are you too busy doing that you can’t clean up after your own family?

Kara transferred to UCLA and got a job.  She pays her own rent and slowed down the shopping!  Jeana might be an emotional eater, but damnit, she raised that girl right!  Wait a minute, did I know that she got a boob job?  Or are these new?

Back in Rome, Vicki is acting like the Italians are fucked up cuz she’s blond and should be going out of their way to understand her and her English speaking self.  Her words, not mine!  Sorry babe, you are in their country.  Why the hell should they speak so that you can comprehend?  You have so much money, why didn’t you hire a translator to roll with you the whole time?  Idiots.  I know those people are going to be so glad for Vicki and nem to leave.

Simon and Tacky Tamra went out to dinner with Jim and Alexis.  The two of them are so in love while Simon and his mistake have 3 feet worth of air between them!  Tamra should not be airing their dirty, marital laundry.  That’s why he can’t stand her!

Tamra and Simon are meeting with someone about listing their home.  She couldn’t even spit out one tear.  She’s so full of shit.  If she were that attached to her home, then she woulda been handling business.  Get off your flat lazy ass and work…earn some money and pay your damn bills!  Hell, get a part-time job if you have to, but to act now like she’s so devastated?  Get outta here with that.

…Vine…in a minute

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Real Housewivees of OC Confess: Reunion Special

Let us start off by sayin we plan to eat Tamra Barney’s ass UP throughout this post.  So, if you like this bitch, this ain’t for you!

Can they please stop letting Andy “Boring as Fuck” Cohen host this shit?  Damn.  Ya’ll don’t know how much this fucking show pissed us off.

Aight, Jeana looks like she had something done on her face.  We’re guessing botox because the neck is still a bit wrinkled.  She looks good!  It worked for her. 

Um, was it just Hollywood & Vine or could you cut the tension between Jeana and Tamra/Vicki with a fuckin knife?  They ain’t tight no more, you can tell!  We hope not cuz Jeana is far too good of a person to be hangin with those fucking bitches!

Ya’ll been coming to H&V askin if Kara got her boobs done.  Now you know that she did and you can stop askin us.   

We don’t give a damn what anyone says.  Tamra Barney got work done.  The bitch had cheek implants.  Re-watch the shit!!  The funny thing is, the bitch looks worse than before.  She made herself look older!  With that nappy weave! 

Greedy Gretchen was fierce, period!  Bitch was bad!  Not only that, but she handled that messy, jealous bitch Tamra like the diva she is!  Where does Tacky Tamra get her fucking nerve!  God, this woman needs some serious, serious help.  We ain’t playin!  She has severe issues in her life if she’s spending this much goddamn time worried about Greedy Gretchen and who she might be fuckin!  What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?  She has two little kids, a gay older son and a husband who wants to fuck Jeana’s young daughter.  You would THINK this heffa has more shit to do than worry about Gretchen’s life THIS MUCH! 

Vicki is officially a lost cause!  You know why Vicki is so tight with Tacky Tamra’s ass?  Because she likes to be around a muthafucka who SHE THINKS is beneath her…doing worse than her.  Jeana finally put that overcooked muthafucka out and is moving on dating and shit.  Vicki preferred Jeana when she was taking bullshit and sittin at home depressed and miserable.  Transparent as hell!

We like Lynne just a little bit more after how she fucked up Tamra and Vicki.  That shit was fucking hilarious, tellin them bitches that they ain’t rocket scientists or the brightest bulbs!  Good for her.  You know, that shit got really old, them trashin Lynne like that as if their shit don’t stink!  Vicki needs to worry about her failing marriage instead of whether or not Lynne is a pot head.  Again we ask, what the fuck is wrong with these bitches.   Vicki needs to be more concerned with her empty fucking “love tank”! 

Wait a minute, did Vicki have the nerve to say that she has a nice figure?  Okay, just checkin.  So not only is she a bitch, jealous, messy and miserable, but she’s delusional, too! 

Ultimately, H&V were totally disgusted by Vicki and Tamra, especially!  Their behavior was some of the most evil shit we’ve seen, for real!  Straight up devils!  We were watching in shock that these hoes had the nerve to go out of the way to make Gretchen look bad and ruin her reputation.  They got off on the shit.  Tamra made herself look like the nasty bitch we always knew she was.  Gretchen keeping her cool just magnified Tacky Tamra’s fucked up ass attitude.  She’s better than H&V cuz we woulda had Jeana, Lynne and Andy holdin us back off that bitch!

What we wanna know is how Tamra’s life was effected by Gretchen allegedly being paid to take care of Jeff vs. being his fiancee?  How did that hurt her?  For real, someone tell us how that shit was any of her business? 

Also, Vicki and her self-righteous fat ass!  She acted like her kids were angels.  News flash crazy bitch, Michael and that trash stayin with ya’ll for the summer most definitely fucked in your house!  Michael definitely drank in your house before he was 21 years old!  Michael and Brianna have talked more shit about you on camera than Shane ever has (on camera) about Jeana!  So, take your fucking nose out the air and stop acting like you are this perfect, holier than thou person cuz you’re far from it!

We mighta missed some shit, but we know our readers will mention what we forgot!

What did ya’ll think of this shit?

Don’t forget to follow H&V on Twitter (hollywoodNvine).

In a minute…

Real Housewives of OC: 2.3.09

Better late than never bitches!!!  Here we are.

Tacky Tamra took her mama and her mama’s new face out for a spin.  They probably shoulda stayed in the house!  She decided to sign Old Mother Hubbard up for an online dating site (because that shit works like a charm).  H&V feel like a shower after listening to this bitch talk to her mother about what turns her on.  Fucking TMI.

Vicki and Brianna went shopping at a store that sells scrubs and other nursing wear…i.e. shit that cover Brianna’s fat.  WHAT has this broad been eating?  She looks like she’s pregnant with triplets.  Then they go straight into showin Jeana’s daughter Kara in a skin tight blue mini dress and knee boots!  Kick Brianna’s fat ass while she’s down why don’t you, Bravo! 

We get to meet Jeana’s parents and her baby sister, Janis.  She and Colton went to visit them in Milwaukee.  Seems like Jeana’s family is pretty normal, just like her.  We ain’t surprised!

Lynne sips martinis with her mom.  She told her mama a bold face ass lie!  She said that she “found out” Raquel had been drinking at the party!  Shit, the bitch was walkin all around the party with a fucking cosmo in her hand.  Now Lynne wants to play like she was sneakin.  She knows her ass is fucking wrong for lettin her underage kid drink out in the open.  THAT is why she lied to her damn mama.  Mama told her straight up, take away her shit.  They have too much.  Ya’ll muthafuckas done enabled this little snotty bitch!  Wake up.

Jeff is home from the hospital.  All his kids flew in to be there with him, partly to see him and the other part because Greedy Gretchen had “already committed to a girls’ weekend” in Vegas.  Lord have mercy on his soul.  He looked so frail.  We are juuuuust about ready to turn on Greedy Gretchen, but we’re trying to stay nice.  Trying!

Vicki and Donn showed us their lack of love and affection.  That’s something we all should shoot for…a loveless marriage.  We don’t even watch in HD and Vicki looks bad.  Damnit Brianna might as well inhale those fucking tacos all at once.  No wonder she looks like two tons of fun!

The broads hit Vegas and stayed at the Red Rock!  Why the fuck are they staying so far off the damn strip!  That was a wasted trip to fucking Vegas if you ask us!

Lynne toasted to a truce.  Then Vicki co-signed talkin about she’s all for puttin the past behind her.  She’s a damn lie!  Vicki is one of the main ones keepin shit going.  We hollered when Greedy Gretchen gave the “hottie whistle” to Tamra.  Gretchen knows good and fuck well that she looks better than Tamra.  That’s why she rubs the shit in every chance she gets. 

Jeana told Lynne that the two of them were pass the hottie whistle age and Jeana wasn’t lyin.  Lynne talkin about speak for yourself, Jeana.  Shit, Jeana was right in spite of what your ass thinks.  It’s time to wrap up the MILF shit that white women aspire to be and fucking live in reality.  You’re old.  Be thankful because the alternative is worse!

Did anyone else notice that Lynne could fit two decks of cards between her rack?  God her boob job looks like hell. 

Vicki actually believes that Greedy Gretchen stole her favorite cocktail.  Give us a fucking break bitch!  It’s a drink.  It’s not like the bitch stole your money or your husband.  Who gives a fuck that she likes the same damn drink?  Dumb asses.  These broads need some shit to bitch about.

All these bitches think Greedy Gretchen is a dumb ass blond, but she’s one of the smartest bitches in the group next to Jeana.  Lynne is the remedial one!  Vicki had the nerve to say her ass is calm all the time.  Like fuck she is.  Vicki’s ass needs a sedative she’s so wound the hell up all the damn time.

So the housewives went to a club.  First of all, you know a muthafucka is old when they say “night club”!  So Lynne, you are, in fact, old and have zero rhythm to top the shit off.  What the hell song was she wigglin to?  She even messed up the damn saying.  This old bitch said “What stays in Vegas stays in Vegas”???  UH, she doesn’t even deserve to be corrected. 

It looks like next week Lynne and Frank on going to be freaky at sea.  Tamra goes to visit her daddy to see if he still loves her.  Just a tip Tacky Tamra…when you go visit your estranged father, don’t wear a top that older people think is slutty.  Who goes to visit their dad with their titties all out like that?  Oh, Tacky Tamra does.  Jeana and Kara take a road trip.

In a minute…

Real Housewives of OC: 12.16.08

Okay, a few things stood out to Hollywood & Vine tonight.  Why the fuck did Tamra allow her husband, Simon, to take Kara‘s young, 19 year old ass to the firing range?  What is wrong with this bitch?  You don’t let your husband go to the shooting range with a teeny bopper.  Tamra might think she’s the hottest housewife, but she ain’t 19!  To an old ass rich man, it doesn’t get any better than that!  This is how they lose their husbands!  Simon told Kara that she didn’t need a sexy gun!  Keep on Tamra, keep on!

Speaking of Tamra, her son Ryan is, well…never mind.  Our faithful readers know exactly what the hell we’re thinking.

It’s not even that Vicki looks old; she just makes herself look so fucking bad all the time.  That poorly styled, thin hair and her raccoon eyes.  Shit, at least the Atlanta Housewives hire professional make-up artists to work on them before they leave the house!  Keep on, Don probably already has a piece on the side and if she don’t quit, he WILL divorce her ass, take half her money and have a nice day!

Don is 10 years older than Vicki, but he LOOKS 10 years younger than her!  He done told her that if she doesn’t give him attention, someone else will.  He ain’t lyin!  These white women need to stop thinking they look so good that their husbands won’t leave their asses!

Jeana and Vicki need to stop giving each other marital advice!  They both have fucked up ass marriages.  Just be each others friend and hire shrinks for the advice. 

We don’t really have an opinion about the new broad, Lynne.  All we want to know is if these bitches look in the mirror!  She was talkin about how she just wants to look young.  Okay, great, but you ain’t looked young in 30 years honey.  Maybe if they’d stop worrying about aging and just take care of themselves, they wouldn’t look old as sin!

We already see Vicki is going to fall off our good list next week from the preview. 

We can’t WAIT to see Matt tell Kara “you’re just really overcooked”!  Only a crazy muthafucka who got hit upside the head with a baseball would say some funny shit like that.  You’re just really overcooked!

In a minute…

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