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Posts tagged ‘Lisa Hartwell’

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 4

Starting off with Lisa and Ed.  Mama Wu called asking her and NeNe to fly to L.A. for her granny’s birthday.  Lisa’s mother is a black woman.  Why does she sound like her maiden name is Wu? 

OMG, Kim’s new nanny just told her daughter that she was going to hell for rapping a prayer!  Whoa!  Why the fuck didn’t Kim fire that bitch on the spot?  She walked upstairs and bitched about it to her assistant.  Honey, fire her ass!

I love NeNe, but damnit if she ain’t kuntry!  “Stubbren”, NeNe?  Stubbren? 

Over at Drexina’s, Kandi is talking about her upcoming photo shoot.  She needs to start putting her new artist photos together she starts approaching labels for a new deal.  She’s gonna throw in an engagement shoot AND a family portrait into the session.  Now I’m starting to see why NeNe is gonna call her ass ghetto later on in the episode.

Kandi and AJ are at dinner lyin!  They know good and hell well that they have some kinda drama with at least one of his four baby mamas.  Bullshit.  I never would, EVA!

NeNe is out her mind tryna get all the “ladies” together with their kids for some King Tut event.  This is going to be a train wreck of Britney Spears on the MTV Awards proportions! 

Kim’s tryna get her wig touched up when her kids call.  The crazy ass nanny left the kids alone so she could go get a tampon.  Even the older daughter told her to just use one of her mom’s.  Nope, the bitch left.  Kim better not let that ho pass go.  Send her home for the last time.  Who does shit like that?  I know Kim was pissed she didn’t get to finish that glass of wine.  When she told her stylist that she drank 7 glasses already that day, I believe her!

Over at the studio, Kandi and company are getting her ready for the photo shoot.  Her mother is giving AJ the serious side eye.  This is going to be hilarious.  How’s her mom gonna start suckin on a chicken bone after she gets her make up done?!!  Wow, granny, Riley and Kandi were ready for a shot with AJ and granny bounced.  Kandi said if things don’t change, she and AJ won’t be getting married.  She knows he ain’t right for her!  That’s why she’s so quick to throw that shit out there!  This marriage is not gonna happen.

NeNe hit Lisa’s gym for a workout.  She’s fightin’ it, but Lisa’s workin’ with her.  Now that is one thing Lisa is fully committed to…her body/health!  I ain’t mad at her.  They’re tryna hook Sheree and Dwight up.  Well, we all know she’s fucking with Al B. Sure now (allegedly).  OMG, OMG, did ya’ll see Miss Eubank’s dick bulging out the left side of his skin tight leather pants ROFL!  Dwight thinks he’s slick.  He did that shit on purpose to let his potential suitors know he was packin a mean punch LMFAO!  Woo lawd, I canNOT!  It’s too early to see Divo penis!

Over at King Tut, it’s about to go down.  Kandi and AJ showed up with Riley.  His anti-social ass got a drink and proceeded to stand in the corner text messaging someone.  Hmmm.  Kim’s drunk, as usual.  Does she even care that she has to leave there and drive her kids home while she’s under the influence?  Just askin…Lisa and Sheree show up, too.  I don’t like those two, but damnit if they didn’t have me crackin up singing “there’s a tight rope…between me and you”!  Hollywood sings that shit at least once a week!  Kim befriended Kandi, natch!  Kandi’s so sweet that she invited her to the studio to hang out with other music industry folk.  Please, please catch that shit on tape, Bravo!!  NeNe told Kandi she was gonna come and started singin’ “Tardy to the Party”!  Kandi just doesn’t seem to like NeNe cuz if she did, she’d know that was just her sense of humor, nothing more.  No need for all the eye rollin’ and shit!

Miss Eubanks and NeNe are at a furniture store clownin’ the shit outta AJ!  “Does he work…or is he in between gig?”  We hear he used to be in pharmaceutical sales (allegedly). 

Lisa and her brother Andre are getting ready to visit Cali.  Poor thing, she lost her older brother 3 years ago.  Damn.  I feel for her. 

Cannot end on a sad note, so I’ll say this.  If Kandi becomes “friends” with Kim, it’ll be her biggest mistake besides tryna marry a nigga with six kids and FO baby mamas!

…Vine…in a minute

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Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 3

Back at FAB, Kim, NeNe and Sheree are about to get down outside of a restaurant filled with people trying to enjoy a damn meal while they’re acting like wild banshees!  Did ya’ll not love all the employees looking out the front door to see what happened?  Kim cracked me up talking about Sheree wanted to live off of what Bob gave her, but he ain’t give her shit!  Kim has really grown a set this season and I love it!

Over in NeNe and Lisa’s old neighborhood, they’re walking tryna get NeNe her brick house body back.  Work bitch!!  It’s funny how Lisa and Sheree keep throwing the crazy word around with Kim when they were the ones either pulling Kim’s hair or talking about flipping her over a couch! 

Miss Dwight Eubanks is preparing for his 50th birthday.  He is such a DIVO.  I love it!  “I want you to act like a bird, feel like a bird.  I want to see breasteses!”  He is out of his mind!  Why do gay men love tits so damn much?

Looks like Kandi will meet NeNe and Sheree for the first time at Miss Eubanks’ party.  This fool has people swinging from the ceiling.  OMG, HE is swinging from the ceiling from a tire!  Poor Kandi is probably still traumatized by Dwight molesting her ass.  Sheree steadily thinking that someone is just like her ass.  No, Sheree, you and Kandi are not alike.  Kandi worked hard for her money to support herself and her kid.  She didn’t come up on a rich dude and try to milk him dry just cuz she gave good head.

Kandi scored some points with me by not judging Sheree’s dumb ass based on what she’s heard around town.  Good for her.  She’ll find out soon enough that it’s probably all true!

Here’s Lisa and Ed meeting with someone about a new clothing line.  Lisa had like 4 businesses last season and we ain’t heard word the first about them, but she’s tryna open anotha one!??  What is wrong with her?  She has the attention span of a fly!  Now she and Sheree are battling about who’s really a designer and who isn’t.  Please, they both need to quit.  Neither sketches, neither sews and neither of them knows the real about fashion to the point where they have any business doing shit but put their name on a project…like every other damn “celebrity”.

Oh no, Lisa’s designers just called NeNe plus size!  This shit is not gonna go well at the fitting.

Lisa is visiting NeNe.  They are the drinking wine in the afternoon-est women I’ve eva seen!  Speaking of, T-Boz and Kandi are together hanging.  They obviously have a nice friendship.  Hold up, AJ is 34 and has SIX KIDS?  She be leaving out information about this negro.  He is not the one, Kandi.  Please open your eyes. 

Time for Sheree’s housewarming.  Why does she always choose a hairstyle that makes her look 10 years older than she is?  That shit is not cute.  Oh shit, Tania just went in on NeNe AND Lisa.  What the fuck was THAT bitch’s problem?  She called NeNe fat!  She was hatin’ on Lisa cuz she has beautiful, long hair.  Bitch, mind your business!  Damn she was rude.

WHAT DOES SHEREE HAVE ON? 

This episode bored the shit out of me.  What did ya’ll think?

Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 2

Just laughing at the opening.  Kim said “In Atlanta, money and class give you power”.  Then I guess she has zero power in the Atl.

Sheree is so pretentious, talkin about she and her friend Tania are both married or dating professional athletes.  Isn’t Sheree single though?  Now that Anthony dropped her ass, she ain’t having her Coming to America party.  She’s going for something small now.  Give it up!

Oh Lord, Ed is STILL talking about returning to the NFL.  As if it’s his decision.  Of course Lisa’s gonna be more supportive of him this season because there’s no chance that his ass will be back in the league.  But if someone picks him up and KEEPS HIM, I wish him luck.

NeNe, being the bigger woman that she is, called Kim and asked to meet so they could put the bullshit behind em.  We’ll see how this works out.

Kim knows she’s a damn liar talkin’ about she was never with Big Papa for his money.  We ALL saw that short, ugly man!  We know better.  Now I will give Kim props for wanting to return overpriced bullshit to stores now that her human atm isn’t in her life.  Maybe Sheree shoulda kept kickin’ it with her cuz she has a little bit of sense.  She might not can sing, but she knows that she don’t wanna spend till she goes broke!

Why is Kandi even reading fucking blogs?  She should know better than that!  We rarely have warm and fuzzy thoughts about celebrities.  Why does she care?

Sheree, here’s a tip.  If you feel like you might not be safe in your new home and/or remote area, don’t get on national tv and describe the isolated area you now live in dumbass!  What is wrong with her?  I could find her house based on her description alone.  So instead of using common sense, she’s at a gun range with her friend, Tania.  This bitch tryna point the gun upward.  Did ya’ll see how fast Tania took that shit from her like “bitch you ain’t killin my ass on national tv!”  And what the fuck was Sheree wearing?  How are you a designer, but can’t style yourself?

Over at the cantina with Kim and NeNe.  They kept it real with each other.  I gotta admit, I did enjoy watching the two of them and their friendship rekindling!  They are a lot of fun and even though they dislike each other again, I think that they really do like each other a lot deep down.  If they weren’t on this damn show, I’m sure they’d be fine.  NeNe looked drunk as a Ned the Wino by the end of the scene.  Loves it!

I’ll say it again…KANDI, LISTEN TO YO MAMA!!!!

Over at the fertility doctor, Lisa and Ed are talking about how tough it might be if her old ass has another kid.  Ed is a clown.  Of course nobody thinks they are going to have issues when having a kid over 35, but it’s a reality.  Be thankful for the blessing ya’ll have with the one you have and keep it moving. 

Kandi over at her mama’s house lookin’ like one of the Good Girls in that plaid skirt.  And what is an “unt”?  Just asking.  OMG, this nigga has FOUR baby mamas?  FOUR?  Kandi, come on now girl.  I’m being for real.   That is too much!  Too much!!  Her “unts” can talk about how if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but they don’t have Kandi’s money or Kandi’s daughter either!!  I just don’t get why people walk into situations like this…inviting potential drama into their lives.

Over at Lisa, her sucka for love ass husband is making a romantic dinner for her.  Did ya’ll hear this man say “Chili-N” sea bass?  Dead…Chili-N!!!  If you can’t pronounce it, then you shouldn’t be eating OR cooking it!  OMG, he’s killing me.  “Vinegarette”!  Make the laughter stop, please!  Vinegarette!

Wooo Jazze Pha is a big one! 

Time for Sheree, Kim and NeNe to get together.  What the hell does Sheree think when she’s getting dressed to walk out the house?  She always looks a mess.  Kim with that helmet in case they tried to hurt her was fucking funny!  Seriously, I think that Kim was telling the truth.  She even admitted that she said Sheree was bouncing checks at Neiman Marcus for buying shoes ROFL!  Why lie about some other stuff and not that.  I think Sheree is full of shit!  How she gone call Kim trailer trash when Kim had money long before Sheree came up on Bob?  We done already told ya’ll how Sheree was rollin’ before Bob started fucking with her.  Now she wants to act like she invented the word class.  Bitch please!

Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Season 2 Premiere

NeNe and Dwight are battin’ lead off!  I just love her.  She’s in her new house somewhere near Lisa’s foreclosed one!  I am not feeling NeNe’s new weave.  It makes her look older than she is.  Dwight and his antics will never get old.  Crawlin’ across the floor in that expensive suit like he works at Magic City!

Our first peak at Kim was in her white Bentley.  No doubt she had to breast feed Papa to get that one.  Bitch done lost a ton of weight.  She looks a lot better than last season, I must say.  She’s still seeing that quacky ass psychic, Rose.

Now Kim wants to be a business owner?  She can’t even spell CAT, how she gone run a business?  Yeah, we didn’t forget that shit.  Rose is seeing a son in Kim’s future.  Kim said she’s gonna start taking birth control!  START??  You mean you haven’t been on the pill running around fucking this married man?

Over at Sheree’s new dungeon.  She and her son were moving her shit.  Guess she couldn’t afford movers.  Does Sheree expect us to believe that she had no idea that her mortgage wasn’t being paid?  Natch, she put it all on Bob.  Wasn’t she hollerin’ last season about how Bob was a great father, but they just didn’t get along?  So why would a great father not pay to keep a roof over his kids’ head?  Either she was lyin then or she’s lyin now.  Could be either.  If I was tryna get a 7 figure divorce settlement, I woulda called his ass a great father, too.  Well, I would…No child support in 19 months, yet she’s using her own money, supposedly, to finance a new clothing line AND is shopping all the fucking time?  That’s her bad!  Mothers do what they have to do when they have kids.  They sacrifice.  That means you come last sometimes!  Get it together honey.  And by the way, she’s starting to let this shit age her ass!  Sheree looks 5 years older than last season.

Over at the Hartwell’s recently foreclosed old house, Lisa and Ed are talking about having more kids.  Lisa does not seem to be feeling the idea at all!  This nigga is putting the pressure ON!  I don’t understand how someone has kids they don’t help raise, yet wanna have more. 

Sheree is planning her “Independence Party” and has gotten a free wedding planner because of the show hired an event planner to put the shit together…the infamous Anthony!  This fool wants to arrive in a helicopter.  You see what I’m talking about?  Where are her priorities?  If she’d just keep it real, people wouldn’t talk.  She wants us to think that she’s paying him, when in reality he did the shit for free.  Furthermore, it was part of another event that was going on and they agreed to work Sheree’s nonsense into the mix because she’s on the show!  Don’t play.

Over at Lisa’s, Kandi shows up talking about The Pocket Monologue which is a version of The Vagina Monologues.  SMH!  Will people please leave well enough alone?  She goes on to talk about her fiance, AJ.  The nigga has SIX KIDS!!  I’m sorry, that’s fucking ridiculous!  Any “man” who has 6 kids by more than 1 woman has a problem, PERIOD.  I don’t give a damn who he is or how big her ring is.  Speaking of her ring, people claim she bought it herself.  Kandi said on Twitter than she did not buy her ring, that AJ did.  At this point, I’ll take her word for it.

NeNe and Lisa are rollin to Niecy Nash’s birthday party.  Kim and Sheree are supposed to be there, too.  Should  be interesting.  Sheree said that she is no longer kissing Kim’s ass friends with Kim.  Lord have mercy, did you see Ed in that damn Armada?  Ya’ll know I hate the word swagger, but it’s fitting here.  Ed has lost his.  Last season, Lisa couldn’t get enough of him when he’d flirt with her.  Now she just seems uninterested.  NeNe’s in the car singin her “Tardy to the Party” remix!  She’s a fool for that.

How the hell is Sheree gonna show up to someone’s birthday party and not even know who the fucks birthday it is?  “Today is Niecy Nash birthday!”  “WHO’S birthday?”  Triflin!!

NeNe heard that Kim was saying that Gregg was broke…of course Sheree and Lisa’s messy asses claim to have heard Kim say it.  Hmmm.  Kickin up mo shit now that NeNe and Kim are ready to be friends again.  I think neither of them want NeNe finding out what the fuck they said about her when they weren’t cool!

Kandi is a fabulous songwriter, clearly, but I’m not so in love with her voice.  Sometimes it’s cool to play the background.  It’s gotten her this far, why not stick with it?  Just askin…

NeNe met Sheree to talk about their issues.  Oooh NeNe, that green open in the front top you had on was not right girl!  Basically, they hugged and made up…for the time being.  I think Sheree needs NeNe more than she needs Sheree.  But NeNe thinks she’s funny askin’ Sheree if she got her 7 figure settlement when she knew good and hell well bitch lost her house LMAO!

Here goes Kim talking about cancer again.  Doesn’t she know that A) there are tons of ways to lose your hair and B) people don’t lose their hair because they have cancer; they lose it because of chemo.  She can’t be that fucking stupid, can she?  Never mind…

Kandi’s daughter is so cute and so smart.  She obviously did a good job raising her thus far.  Have to give her props.  But ummm, when your child can’t remember the name of all your fiance’s kids, that might be a sign that he ain’t the one.  Listen to yo mama girl!

Sheree called Anthony to bug him the shit out of him ask a few questions about her party and he hung up on her ass!  Yes, Anthony, yes!!  Am I the only one who loved how Sheree’s professional hair stylist, Lawrence, said Anthony’s behavior was “bullshit”, yet called Anthony unprofessional?

4 days from her party and Sheree wants to meet with Anthony.  People like Sheree get on my fucking nerves!  Anthony was damn right.  She had no respect for his time AND SHE’S GETTING THE SHIT FOR FREE!  Don’t act like you were paying this man honey!  She thinks she can take 100% of his time just because she’s a client.  “WHO GONE CHECK ME BOO?”  And she calls NeNe ghetto…Hmph!  Sheree let allll her true colors show, hollerin and actin a fuckin fool in that man’s office!  Don’t let the Chanel earrings and all that other shit that she can’t afford fool you.  Her ass is ghetto as sin!!

What did ya’ll think of the premiere?

Vine…in a minute

Lisa Hartwell, is foreclosure the new black?

“If it doesn’t make me money, I don’t do it!”  Ya’ll know that’s Lisa Hartwell’s show opener on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, right.  So, did going into foreclosure become a new way to make money when you’re the homeowner?  I’m just askin…

According to papers obtained by TMZ, Lisa and Ed Hartwell’s Georgia mansion went into foreclosure and has already been resold by the bank.  Lisa and Ed are reportedly settled into a new home that they “own”.

Lisa fired back Tuesday morning on Twitter saying:

“Ppl hear or read what they want to hear or see. We were Not booted from our home nor are we living under a bridge lmao! Thanks 4 the sppt.”

I have one word…semantics!  I’m sure they weren’t booted.  They probably moved out before they had to. 

Listen, this is why we were so tough on Lisa during Season 1.  Just keep it real.  Foreclosures happen to many people for many reasons.  Whatever reason the bank took her home and sold it for far less than the loan amount, this could be a good way that Lisa, as a realtor, can educate others.  But no, she’s too busy concerned with keeping up this baller, shot caller image@@  Please girl.  Ed driving that Armada and lookin’ like he ain’t had a haircut since the season 1 finale ruined that honey!

I won’t even get on her being a realtor…I can’t.  It’s too early!

…in a minute…Vine

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Lisa Hartwell is NOT the one…

Just like a sucka ass white woman, Kim Zolciak of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is trying Lisa Hartwell in the court of public opinion.  Kim and her whack ass attorney, wearing some George Jetson sunglasses lookin’ like a cast-off from Survivor, gave a “press conference”!  This bitch broke out her cell phone to play a voice message where Lisa let that ass know she is “not the one”!!  They made it seem like Lisa threatened to slit her damn throat or something.  Whinin’ ass ho!  A REAL threat would have sounded something like “bitch, I’ll whoop your muthafuckin’ ass talkin’ shit about my family…you don’t know me like that”.  Just a guess… 

Hollywood and Vine gained a little more respect for Lisa after hearing her come at Kim directly.  FINALLY, she is keepin’ it real.  It shouldn’t have taken this white bitch punking you and telling your business (albeit lies) for it to happen, but better late than never! 

Hollywood and Vine don’t condone violence, but damnit if anyone deserves an ass whoopin’, it’s this tramp.  Don’t think we didn’t notice her chicken comment on Tuesday night.  We hope Kim never forgets that karma is a bitch…just like her!

Do ya’ll think Kim is making something out of nothing?  Let Hollywood and Vine know!

In a minute…

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