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Posts tagged ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 11

It’s not as fun watching alone without Hollywood, but fuck it.  The show must go own!

Okay, am I the only one who has a moment every time Kandi does the prep in the intro?  Moving on…

Batting lead off is Kim shopping with Kandi.  I hope bitch apologizes for missing her performance.  She ain’t right.  Oh shit, she wants to put off her absence on her kid being sick!  That nappy headed nanny is the one raising those kids, not Kizzie.  Let’s be honest.  Kizzie, how do you “decide” that you love someone?  Is she crazy?  

Over to Lisa and NeNe’s asses.  What abuse did Lisa endure?  She plays the perfect, flawless life role.  Who abused her?  Not being funny; just asking.  NeNe is back to wondering who her biological father is.  Lord, can ya’ll imagine who her daddy is based on seeing her ass in motion?  He must be a COLD PIECE!

Lisa making the rounds tryna stay relevant.  Now she’s at Kandi’s house.  Her clothing line is doing well supposedly and Ed wants to get back on the field.  Well nigga shit, you done, sorry!  Let that shit go.  Find another way to be in the NFL mix.  He can’t be any worse than Rodney Harrison talking about the “PITCHBIRD” Steelers! 

Oh gawd, over to Sheree and her promo video shoot!  She needs to lay this clothing line to rest already.  NOBODY wants to wear her clothes.  I’d rather walk around with Apple Bottom Jeans on than some Sheree shit.  How is she gonna clown Lisa and say she’s not average when EVERYTHING about her ass is average and has been since she met Bob in that fucking bucket?  Keep it all the way real Sheree?  You ain’t fly.  You came up; leave it at that!

Ed needs to give up his hoop (field) dreams and try to find a job commentating.  Nigga you done.  I’m sorry to say, but you are.  Stop letting your dick ego run you and find another way to fool with pro football.  On the field ain’t gone happen.  He still wanna play in the league.  You and everyone else.  You better find some pick up flag football games to get into!  Why are we even discussing this in season 2 of this show?  Ed was done last season.  He confirmed it this season when he was driving around in that SUV on stock!  It’s been time to hang up the cleats.  Nobody has picked you up in 2 seasons.  He acting like it’s his damn choice! 

She by Sheree is NOT classy nor elegant!  What is this bitch smoking?  She needs to listen to Dwight and let that bootleg shit be what it is!  And what it is is NOT elegant or classy!  She feels like Dwight is overbearing because she’s hella janky!  If it were up to her, she’d have yet another fashion show without fashion!  Her diva attitude is going to give her a jacked up clothing line like Eve…keep own.

Kandi is yappin about her new album.  NEXT…

OMG NeNe’s race is on the way.  Dwight looks like a hungry Ethiopian trying on clothes at Forever 21 during their first visit to the United States.  Lord have mercy, I need to go to church on Sundee.  NeNe’s gay friend from L.A. makes a better woman than he does a man!  Do ya’ll see this shit?  For real, I am not joking.  I can’t believe I’m watching this GNR!  You see that Ed did NOT partake in this bullshit!

How did a MAN win a race running in high heels!

Aight, so Lisa’s about to take a pregnancy test while Ed waits.  Damn, she’s not pregnant.  Poor Ed looked hella depressed.

What did everyone think of this episode?

…Vine…in a minute

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Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 10

Is that nappy headed girl with Kim her assistant?  The party planner’s wig is jacked up, too!  The only one at that table looking right AND looking at Kizzie like she’s a damn fool was the one with the bob.  All the salons in the A and ya’ll look like that bad.

Lisa just got to NeNe’s talking about the fight at the party with Kizzie nd Kandi.  Frankly, both of us think that Kandi is the jealous one, not NeNe.  Kandi plays that perfect role, but she also gives off the vibe that she thought she was Kandi Burress and was gonna run shit when she got on the show.  No ma’am, that is NeNe’s show!

OH MY GAWD….THAT KIIIIIM mmph mmph “>mmph mmph, SHE’S A DIRTY LOW DOWN MONKEY WIT A WIG OWN!  I LOVE NeNe’s ass!

Dwight and Sheree together…hot mess!  Of course Sheree came to him for help!  She’s such a trendsetter and socialite, but she can’t pull shit off on her own!  What runway show have you seen with props and shit all over the place?  Dwight is tryna help this broad, but she just won’t listen!  Why ask someone for fucking help if you don’t wanna listen!  Models with ponytails.  Dwight said “Please not!”  This man is a reality show waiting to happen.  Another fashion show without fashion!

Kandi and AJ…so sad and hard to watch!  She’s talking with food in her mouth, like we don’t already have a hard enough time understanding the words coming out her mouth!

Was that Papa dropping Kizzie off?  He is a cold piece.  Kim can’t sing a single note!  Not a one.  Don Vito said “FIND YOU A KEY!”  GNR!  Not THE key, A key…ANYkey!  That shit is hilarious.  I am not leaving till I see daylight…at this rate, she’ll never see daylight tryna finish this damn song! 

Kizzie sittin there talking to Kandi the same way her ass did last season with Sheree.  That is why NeNe calls her ass out.

Lord, Sheree and her messy friend flew to New York…probably with a buddy pass.  Sheree has been wearing that same DVF leather jacket for 2 years now!  I don’t know what happened between her meeting with the seamstress and Fashion Week, but the clothes she put on the runway did not look half as good as the shit Casey made for her!

Kizzie’s make-up artist told her she looks how one should…blond with white teeth and shiny lips.  Kizzie added “and big cojones”…ya’ll KNOW she thinks that means tits, right?  You know she did!

Aight, tonight’s the party!  Kizzie, her bad rug, shiny lips and big cajones are in the Rolls heading out.  Sheree is so fucking phony!  Why are you there?  Wasn’t she just tellin’ Kandi three episodes ago that she’d learn sooner than later about Kim?  Now she’s chilin’ t her party?

Question, how does one get engaged when they are already married?  Just askin…

Kim isn’t serious.  She doesn’t think that she can sing now?  All she did was lend her voice to Don Vito and Kandi.  They did the rest with the help of Jesus and electronics.

Notice how Lisa always has to knock Ed down a peg?  She said since he hasn’t been playing ball for a minute, he helps run “her” businesses!  But when he was still in the league, they were co-owners of shit?  Ed would make a good commentator with just a little work. 

Over at Tongue and Groove, Kandi’s getting ready to perform.  Shit, I’m nervous for her.  Wait a minute, Kim couldn’t show her damn face?  But that’s her “friend”.  She loves her.  And Kandi handed her a top 10 single on a silver platter.  Yo ass couldn’t make an appearance?  Dirty!

…H & V…in a minute

Atlanta Housewife Kandi’s Ex-Fiance Killed…

Hollywood and I are still in shock over this.  It’s been confirmed by Atlant Police that AJ Jewell, the ex-fiance of Kandi Burress (Real Housewives of Atlanta) was killed!

According to Sun Shyne Times, AJ was involved in a brawl at an Atlanta area strip club, Body Tap, on Friday night!  He allegedly sustained blows to the head that were ultimately fatal. 

This is a sad, sad day for his 6 children who are now left with no father to mold them…to teach them about life from a father’s point of view…and to love and nurture them.  Tragic, to say the least.

Kandi and her kind heart and soul responded on Twitter saying:

im bout 2 giv my swollen eyes sum rest now. i just wanted to say thanks 2 every1 for their prayers. i gotta get up & go 2 my uncle’s funeral

I could never n a million years imagine this happening. please pray for AJ’s children. that’s who im the most concerned 4.

im just in one of those moods where i dont wanna talk, i dont wanna b held & told its gonna b ok. i just wanna cry myself 2 sleep, alone.

That makes sense and she’s owed that, by ANY stretch of the imagination.  She was just planning to marry this man not that long ago!  Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to AJ’s children, family, friends and Kandi during what Hollywood and I unfortunately know firsthand is a very, very difficult time.

Now, let me say this on behalf of Hollywood and myself.  Nobody in cyberspace knows the details of the incident yet.  However,  a word to the wise.  Niggas been crazy and with this recession they’ve gotten craziER!  When you have some shit going for you or some shit to lose, you canNOT do the same things you used to.  You canNOT go to the same places you used to frequent.  We are telling you what we know.  Niggas see you and feel like “aww, that nigga eatin’, ain’t strugglin’. Fuck that nigga!”  You cannot be around elements!  They don’t have SHIT to lose, but you very well may! 

Real talk folks.  Move on to grown folks kick it and keep that ass out of around the way spots!  Niggas are jealous as fuck these days.  You NEVER know what might pop off.  EVA honey!

…Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 9

Before we get started, for those of you who don’t know, Don Vito’s lawsuit against Kizzie for “Tardy for the Party” never happened.  She paid him before he had to take it that far.  Thank you Kandi for clearing that up on Wendy Williams earlier this week.

Aight, Kizzie’s batting lead off with some fat girl who had the nerve to put a bikini on.  Kizzie ain’t right for allowing her “friend” to get on camera lookin’ like Sponge Bob Square Pants!  She said Papa treated her and the girls to a Bahamas trip so that she could relax after she got drunk and fell slipped and hurt herself at the alter ego party.  Then he flew in and surprised her.  That must be when they got that photo of the two of them together.  “I wouldn’t stay with him for the money, but…”  Who is she fooling and why is she allowing that man to spend time with her children?  Adults can do what the fuck they want, but to show your kids that bullshit?  Hell naw!  And that fat ass friend of hers telling her whatever she wants to hear is disgusting!  No that man is not the love of her life!  OMG, was that ice in her wine?  NEXT…

Sheree and her wanna be the 7th housewife (Dwight is the 6th) girlfriend are checking out the dump where her independence party is gonna be held.  This party is not hardly about women being free.  It’s about Sheree bringing attention to herself, like everything else she does in life!

Lisa and Kandi are at rehearsal for the Pocketbook Monologues…AKA the Vagina Monologues for sistas.  Lisa better not ever get into acting cuz she was horrible!  Kandi, on the other hand, was prepared and she was great!  Gotta give it to her.  But the Vagina Monologues is the coochie telling its story, not a woman telling about her kitty’s history!  Just sayin…  Leave it to Lisa to want what she can’t have.  Even if they gave you Kandi’s monologue, you woulda blown that one too sweetie.

Ms. NeNe met with the person who wrote co-authored her book.  Have any of you read it?  Is it worth the money?

Sheree is meeting with a man who’s gonna create a portrait of her that will be displayed in life size at her party, natch.  The woman is a textbook narcissist!  Bitch, if you didn’t want to wear the purple top, them why the fuck did you bring it with you?  This broad creates friction where there doesn’t have to be any!

Now that Kizzie and PAA-PAAAA are back together, she promptly headed to a jeweler to spend an obscene amount of his money on some bullshit jewelry that she said she’ll wear to the grocery store.  Wasn’t she just talking about needing to put her girls through college?  That $19,000 donkey rope is a year’s tuition boo!

Sheree brought her mother to the studio to get some free wine see what she’s working on for her party portrait.  She looked at it and said it’s “so real”.  Not surreal, but so real!  Yet she still thinks people are jealous of her…

Time for the kitty monologues.  Lisa and Kandi are both nervous as hell!  She slowed it down like the Director told her and she did well.  Up next, Kandi.  She was really wonderful!  She did it!!  I’ll give Kandi credit; she doesn’t put her name on shit unless she truly brings it!  Lord have mercy, Dwight talkin’ about he’s gonna do a “tool box” monologue!  If Dwight’s tool box could talk, I might plug my ears.

Did Kizzie just call her chunky daughter “piglet”?  Um….

It’s time for the Independence Party.  Lord, Lawrence didn’t even blend her tracks with her real hair. Oh my God in heaven, did ya’ll see what the hell Lawrence had on?  What the hell was that?  And why is Sheree driving herself to her own party?  Bitch couldn’t afford a driver for a few hours?  She is so bootleg.  No matter how hard she tries, she just ain’t fly!

Oh SHIT!  NeNe told Kim that she can’t sell the song without her.  Tell her NeNe!  I told ya’ll that shit was tacky.  She sang SIX WORDS and thought she didn’t need NeNe anymore..she now has Kandi.  NeNe was right for telling her ass off.  And Kandi’s simple simon ass is a fool.  NeNe is not pissed about the song.  It’s about how Kizzie went behind her back without saying shit to her!  That was foul and if Kandi’s perfect ass can’t see that, then she’s dumber than I thought when I found out she was marrying a nigga with 6 kids and 4 baby mamas!

Aight, the unveiling of Sheree’s portrait.  NeNe and Lisa wanted to laugh, but held it together. 

O M G, WHAT was that thang on stage naked dancing for Sheree?  And this is supposed to be a party for women.  Why is Lawrence is there?  He can dress like a woman all he wants, but yo ass still has a dick, PERIOD! 

NeNe let Kandi know!  I gotta give this one to NeNe!  Kandi is just not that smart.  How can she not see what NeNe was saying?  And Sheree, the party was not fabulous.  The best thing to happen to that boring ass party Kizzie, NeNe and Kandi fighting.  Hell, I was bored recapping this bullshit ass episode!

Next week Kizzie further sinks her claws into Kandi by throwing a joint birthday party with her!  When Kizzie burns that ass, Kandi betta not say shit to NeNe cuz she was forewarned.

…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 8

Aight, we’re blogging tonight’s episode in real time.  Shereeis working out talking about she has the body of a “hot 25 year old”!  She’s so modest, with those broad shoulders!  For training with the celebrity training so and so, it sure looks like she’s at 24 Hour Fitness…SPORT.  Sheree said she knows her self worth.  It must be less than 7 figures!

NeNe and Lisain that tired ass Hummer on the way to pick up the alter ego photos!  Derek Blanks told them that his reveal event is a cocktail party AND black tie!  Which fucking one is it?  These people are so simple.

Oh gawd, Sheree and her bald headed ass friend are backstage with a bunch of meat heads!  HER TRAINER looks like a gay, Chippendales dancer named Rodeo!  Why can’t Sheree dress herself, yet she’s a designer?  Sheree ain’t hardly over “jocks”!  Only cuz they are over her gold digging ass!  And what was that damn show about?  Them niggas looked like they were auditioning to be Diddy’s next “assistant”.

What is Kizzie wearing?  She looks like she just pulled up to Amish country with a cup of spiked coffee in a Bentley!  She looks like Scarlet O’Whore-A!  Kandi is singing “Tardy to the Party” for Kim and the other producers.  Why?  Now we see why Kandi and Tiny used to not sing leadwrite for Xscape while the others sang!  

Poor Kandi is in the studio with Kim and she’s crying and shit cuz she KNOWS she can’t sing!  OMG is she about to actually sing?  Is she going to do it?  We are really on the edge of our seats right now!  This is gonna be a disaster.

She FINALLY sang, IF you wanna call it that!  Well shit, it was bad, but better than “it’s a tight rooope”!  And why was she “singing” with her lip turned up like she was Elvis?  That was a damn mess!

See, SEE how these broads do?  Kizzie done sang 6 words and already sees dolla signs!  Bitch tryna cut NeNe out the equation and they ain’t even done auto tuning the 6 words her ass JUST sang!

Tonight Derek is revealing the alter ego photos tonight!  Poor NeNe is gettin ready singing that damn song.  Little does she know Kim’s ass is movin’ own and up without her black ass!  

GOOD LORD IN THE MORNING!  Kim was FUCKED UP after that fall!  Oh my gawwd.  Did you see that shit?  Where were the damn cameras?  How did they miss something THAT good?  Kim looks like a battered woman!  Now they done moved the big reveal outside cuz Kizzie can’t walk.  As NeNe said “This is some tacky shit!!”  She ain’t never lied.  We really cannot stop laughing!  Kizzie’s picture was horrible!  She just had no personality shine through.  Not an ounce, but that was clear when Derek was shooting the shit!

Poor Ed looks like he has on a suit from Banana Republic!  Lisa and this fake ass good girl role!  STOP IT!  Her picture was clean as hell though. 

So was Kandi’s.  Did ya’ll see AJ behind her massaging her shoulders with those black and mild fingertips?  Just sayin…

OMG Sheree’s is the BEST one so far!  That shit was fly!  NeNe’s was cool, but Sheree stole the show with that photo! 

What did ya’ll think of the show?  Finally, some excitement out this bitch!

…Hollywood & Vine (yes, both of us on this recap)…in a minute

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S2 Episode 7

Yes, I do know that I skipped 2 episodes!  I’ll get back to them later.  I heard last night’s episode was a must see so here we go!

Is Lisa developing a plus size clothing line and she forgot to mention it cuz those fat ass girls fresh face models were not, um…svelte!  Where did she have this “audition”…..West End Mall

How did NeNe allow a child to decide he was dropping out of college?  Ungrateful muthafucka!  NeNe needs to put the smack down on his ass and force him to go back to school AND get good grades like everybody else’s mama!  I’m hella disappointed in her.  She better put Bryson’s ass OUT!

Kizzie, my name for Kim, is gonna have 2 financially irresponsible girls on her hands if she doesn’t stop teaching them that money grows on trees!  I won’t say anything else about her daughter Arianna….until she’s old enough to drive!

SMH at Kandi’s producer friend “Don Vito”.  Niggas get on my nerves with this mafia shit!  You ain’t nobody’s Don and you ain’t Italian!  Wait a minute, NeNe was gonna do the record with Kim?  Glad that didn’t happen.  They’d start fighting on stage about who gets the spotlight. 

Oh gawd, Lisa is over at Sheree’s discussing fashion!  Talk about the blind leading the blind.  Give me a break Sheree.  She has no room to talk.  She copies plenty of people.  She’s copied the actions of gold diggers, of people who don’t pay their mortgage, of  a businesswoman and a clothing designer…urrr uh, scratch the last one.  She couldn’t copy them right.

All Lisa and Sheree’s exchange showed me is that Sheree is a jealous ass heffa!  I am so sick of the word, but bitch is a hater…straight up!  Lisa knew what time it was, with her shady ass, but she played it cool.

NeNe and Gregg sat that nappy headed, college dropout Bryson down and told him to comb his hair.  ROTFLMAO…”and when are you gone do something with your hair?…..you can’t go around looking like some lost person”  Tell it ALL NeNe, tell it!  The fact that Bryson is splitting proceeds of the “door” at a club with 1,000 other dummies proves my point.  Stay yo ass in school, fool!  What kind of dumbass fool splits any amount of money with 1,000 people?  Is that not the stupidest shit ya’ll done heard?

If you could see my face right now looking at Derek J, it would tell a story!  There is not one word I can say about a man with breasts, 3 necks…in the back, wearing high heels, women’s clothes and accessories and not piss someone off.  Not ONE!

Uh, Kizzie, “volumptuous” is not a word boo.

NeNe talking about she don’t feel like going down to a size 8 because she’s fucking hungry.  NeNe’s rant cracked me up!  Why did Kizzie think she was gonna talk shit about NeNe’s chunky ass always having a plate and NeNe wasn’t going to clown?  Come own now Kiz, you know her better than that. 

Lawd, Dwight just walked into NeNe’s house lookin’ like Ice T in New Jack City when he was meeting Nino to make the deal!  Yeah, I said it.  He is so over the top.  A mink coat and hat in the ATL…smh.  They corn rowed that nappy shit and WHAT the fuck is Gregg wearing?  Looking like one of the Village People.

Sheree did not have the nerve to hire a publicist.  Looks like Sheree has another epic fail on her hands.  Natch, she blamed it on the event planners!  Girlfriend, maybe it’s yo ass, not theirs.  Stop tryna fucking do the most.  Is the shit about your clothing line or is it about you wearing free Tiffany and arriving in a Maybach?  Focus on the right shit and just maybe your “party” will happen in season 3.

It’s time for Lisa’s Closet Freak fashion show and Dwight had to give his 2 cents.  She didn’t like it either.  And why is Lisa still walking around entertaining people and shit?  Take your ass backstage!

Sheree is a no-show!  That is one jealous ass broad.  She was wrong for that.  BUT, she ain’t miss nothing.  That “clothing line” was garbage.  Poor Ed getting dragged up on stage like a prop!  Dwight gave Lisa his honest opinion and he was constructive about it.  Lisa thinks she knows errrr damn thang so she tuned him out.

Outside, Sheree is cussing out Lisa’s stylist cuz he asked why she didn’t show up!  If you show up so late to a fashion show that it’s ova, why not just leave?  She wanted to make a point to let Lisa know that everything else she had to do that night was more important than viewing her line!  Sheree is mad cuz Lisa ain’t have a “fashion show without fashions”!

I’m glad Lisa played her to the left when she finally arrived.  And she has some fucking nerve talking about how tacky people looked when her ass showed up with jeans and a hoodie on!  Are you kidding?  She’s a bonafide donkey!

Next week Kim is gonna pass out after having too much wine for some unknown reason?

What did ya’ll think of the show?

…Vine…in a minute

Kim Zolciak…Who Knew?

kimzolciak

We all laughed and joked when Kim Zolciak vowed to release her music this year, but she was not playin.  Today, Big Papa’s woman released her first single “Tardy To The Party”on iTunes and it’s already on the top 20 Dance songs list!  I know we occasionally give her a hard time on the blog, but I gotta give it to her on this!

Real Housewives of Atlanta co-star Kandi Burress produced the track!  Gone head Kim.  Let’s see if this single has legs.  Now, if/when she performs live, she better come wit it.  If she pulls a Heidi Montag, I’ll let her know.

…in a minute

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