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Posts tagged ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’

Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion: Part 2 (live blog)

A little late to the party due to Labor Day celebrating…here we go!

I turn on the tv to hear Teresa screaming like a banshee, mocking Danielle.  Jaque is hollerin’, Mama Line is the only one being quiet.  Do these women ever quit?  My question is if they know she’s such a liar and a phony, then WHY do they allow her lies to get them so fucking riled up?  That makes them look like they’re getting a lil sumthin out of all this drama!  Straight up.

Aight, Dirty D has walked off the stage!  They’re back from commercial and Andy is trying his best to sound authoritative! #FAIL  Teresa keeps talking that shit about Danielle not being “worth it” to hit her, but she can’t keep her ass on the couch!  Which one is it?

They’re reliving  the event at the Brownstone where Danielle and her cronies showed up looking like the 3 stooges!  And onto Dina and Danielle’s meeting!  They have Caroline on an inset and she looks like she’s prepared to put a hit out on Dirty D for how she talked to Dina.  Just sayin’.

Danielle said that nobody, including Dina, is innocent in her leaving the show.  She said that she also does not feel responsible for Dina not being on the show.  Mama ‘Line is sorry that Dina left the show, but she understands why she left…it’s no longer fun, blah blah blah!

Over to Jacque and her non-parenting ass, she said that she can’t do anything to discipline Ashley cuz she’s 19 years old.  Um, how about you start with not buying the spoiled brat new cars and shit!  You take stuff away from kids who act a fool, not add to their material shit!  No wonder she’s obnoxious.  I know I don’t usually talk about their kids, but I’m so sick of this!  If you have a child living under your roof, then hell yeah you can discipline their ass!  They don’t like it, get the fuck out and leave the keys to your brand new SUV on the kitchen table!!!  Ashley is the type of brat that ends up trying to put hands on her mother later on in life!  Jacque said that Ash has been like this since she was 2 years old!  THAT’S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!  Okay, Jaque said that they took her car away and gave it to a family member’s wife.  Well that’s a good start.

Dirty D denied having a “text” or “facebook war” with Ashley.  Jaque said that she saw the text messages, but D denied it.  You know good and hell well that Danielle was being messy with that little girl LOL!  Jaqueline trying to prove that Dirty D sent a tweet is ridiculous!  It’s Twitter.  She could have said absolutely anything to that man.  I’m with D on this one.  I don’t understand why people who hate her so much invest so much ENERGY into yelling and screaming at her!

Back to the Borgata…time to recap Kim D’s fashion show debacle!  I’d rather them talk about how the clothes she sells make a mockery out of the fashion industry, but that’s just me.  Isn’t it clear to see that Teresa was on the war path??  She intentionally came after Dirty D!  If you don’t want everyone to know that your shit is in foreclosure, then avoid Danielle and keep it pushin!  This is hilarious!  Danielle clearly took acting lessons from Danny!!  REALLY?  REALLY TERESA?  YOU DIDN’T START THAT FIGHT?  What planet is this woman living on???  She’s as crazy as people think Danielle is, please believe it!  How does some idiot in the midwest know that Danielle didn’t lose a lot of extensions that night?  Shut the hell up!  The way that white girls put their tracks in definitely takes out their hair when it’s taken out normally.  When someone ripping the shit out, I’m sure her shit was painful!  Then Jackie pulling Teresa’s hair as a demonstration and Teresa saying OW shows that the shit probably did hurt!  Jackasses!!  I’m sorry, but why should Dirty D dropped the charges against Ashley?  She was, in fact, assaulted!  They wouldn’t have dropped charges against her ass!

Teresa said that if someone paid her a hundred grand she’d get in a ring and box Danielle!  Of course she would…she needs the money LMAO!

And we’re back with Kim G!  That woman wants to be a regular on that show so bad!!  I’m sorry, I can’t even look at Jackie’s face during these clips!  Why did she do that to her lips?  She looks bad.  She looked perfectly fine before!  What is with these grown ass women acting like children…you can’t be friends with her if I’m not friends with her!  It’s ridiculous!  And here she is in her old prom dress!  Dirty D called her OUT!  Yep, Kim G DID use her so that she could be on tv.  Let’s call a spade a spade!  Kim G is one to talk about square tits w/those saggy ass lumps hanging from her chest!  Shit, she NEEDS to get some fake tits of her own.  Listen, Danielle is a hustla to her core!  She’s lookin at Kim G with disgust cuz she knows this broad is lying! 

Kim G, if you know that it wasn’t the Manzos fault that you got a shitty table at the fundraiser, then why bring it up??  CRAZY!  Aha!!  And now we see why Kim G. is bashing Teresa on Twitter LOL!  Teresa has some nerve asking Kim G her age and insinuating that she was too old for the pole dancing class w/her ass being a MOTHER and a WIFE acting like a fucking caged animal on national tv.  Puhlease honey!@  Kim G’s face is as tight as a virgin’s chucky!  That broad has had so much plastic surgery that her face isn’t moving!  If she hadn’t pointed her finger at Teresa, I wouldn’t have known that she was pissed LOL!

Poor Andy trying to find one thing to unite all of the women…their dislike of Kim G., but even Jackie fucked that up!  “I don’t miiiind her!” in that whiny ass voice.  Doesn’t she see what being friend to all the animals did to her season 1?  Will that woman ever learn?

Back to the show.  Time to discuss the Caroline vs. Danielle confrontation!  Look at Mama Line in those Louboutins!  I digress.  I’m sorry, Danielle is a liar, but Caroline saying that Dirty D continues to attack their kids, yet their kids don’t bother her!  Um for real!!??  Ashley isn’t one of your family members?  Ashley’s not a kid?  Okay, Caroline!!  Whatever you say!!  WHY does she ask Danielle a question, but won’t let her answer?  DAYUM!  Caroline is actually starting to bug me.  Danielle was actually making a good point, although I still think it was dumb as hell for her to bring armed guards to their meeting!

Now wait a minute, Andy just asked Jackie a direct question and she did not answer it!  Had the shoe been on the other foot, they would have attacked D for not directly answering the question!  Teresa, Jackie wouldn’t have pressed charges against Danielle’s daughter because her daughter would not have behaved that damn way!  Say what you want about Danielle, but her kids are well-behaved, polite little girls!  PERIOD DOT!

Ya’ll are gonna think I’m crazy, but I think that Jackie would still be friends with Dirty D if she weren’t part of the Manzo/Laurita crew!  You can hear it right now in her voice as she’s apologizing to Danielle.  It’s somewhat quivering!  I think that they truly miss being each others friend, as dysfunctional as it was!  Anyone else peep this?

Well, we all know that this speech by Jackie is a crock a shit based on the shit she’s twittering!  Danielle is apologizing about everything related to Ashley.  Jackie is buying it, but Caroline ain’t!  It’s written all over her face and body!

In closing, Danielle only wanted to address Jackie.  Dirty D also said that she will contact her attorneys and make peace for everyone.  I don’t believe her, but okay.  Caroline is sitting there wondering what the fuck is going on!!  Danielle got up to hug Jackie.  Jackie is trying to act annoyed cuz mama “line and Teresa are there, but I think she REALLY wanted to hug Danielle and REALLY make peace with her.  Like make up with her!  All the while Caroline and Teresa are laughing and rolling their eyes.

Ooops, not over!  Caroline called it the biggest crock of shit she’s ever seen in her life.  She said that Danielle’s outreach is phony!  YEP!  Danielle is right.  She told Caroline that the minute Jackie began to show emotion she was subliminally telling her not to be weak and not fall for it and that jackie needed to be able to think and speak for herself!  C’mon on now.  You know that ain’t gonna happen as long as she’s part of their “family”!

Until next season…

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Real Housewives of NJ: Finale Part 1 (Live Blog)

I have been waiting for this since the beginning of the season!  Here we go.

Right off the bat, this is why I’m not a fan of Theresa’s!  The show hasn’t been on for 5 minutes and she’s already on the attack toward Dirty Danielle.  When they attack her like that and she hasn’t even opened her mouth, it actually makes Dirty Danielle LOOK like the damn victim!  They need to come off it.

Again, she’s damned if she do, damned if she don’t.  Jacqueline and them told Danielle to stop calling them, so she did.  Then they get mad.  Then she called to invite them to Christine’s celebration and they got together and laughed about her wondering why the fuck she called them in the first place.  Make up your damn minds!

Okay let me get this straight…Theresa can bring up Danielle and HER children, how she fucked in her home and Danielle’s kids overheard and how horrible of a mother she is, BUT Danielle can’t bring up Theresa allegedly not acknowledging her own nephew?  She is kidding right?  What a fucking joke!  Don’t get me wrong, I think Danielle is off the hook, but this type of shit plays right into her hands and her sob story!

Alright, Caroline is talking about Albie’s learning disability.  Right now he’s in the application process for a new law school.  She said things aren’t looking too good right now, but who knows!  Things could change.

Danielle said she’s no stage mom.  Hmmph, has she watched the episode where Christine was doing her first photo shoot?  Now we get to see Theresa’s kids in action.  I will leave that alone b/c I said I wouldn’t talk about those little children…Danielle, of course you were comparing Theresa’s kids to dogs!  Dirty Danielle thinks that she must be doing something right b/c her kids have turned out okay.  She’s wrong.  Her kids being halfway decent children is nothing but God looking out for them b/c a fool is raising those poor kids!  They need to be with their father and that school marm that he married!

Finally, we get to hear about Theresa and the foreclosure.  She said that her home is not in foreclosure!  Hmmm!  Sounds like a lie to me, but okay let’s hear her out.  She said that they did file for bankruptcy but many of the details are incorrect.  I hold Joe responsible for this fiasco!  As the man of the house, he should have put the smack down on her for that ridiculous ass spending!  As a woman, Theresa should not have kept herself in the dark about the financial situation in their home!  She claims that she hasn’t seen the website that listed the items for sale in her home.  She is in SUCH denial.  Hell yeah Joe’s accident was a result of him being stressed about money!  Danielle is squirming in her seat b/c she knows bullshit when she hears it.  Her ass has been hustlin’ people since childhood.  She should know bullshit when she hears it.

Dirty D thinks that she has “moments” of being a trouble maker.  Yeah, every moment of every day!  OMG look at her at stripper class with that flat ass LOL!  It’s amazing that she made a dolla in her stripper days with that flat backside.  Wait a minute, Danny was married?  Who marries a person like that?  Oh wait, he filed for divorce after the first two times he taped with Danielle.  Is it not obvious that she was fucking that man?  If Dirty D had a man around, she would have flaunted his ass all around those cameras like she did Theresa and Joe’s friend, Steve!  With that sexual appetite she’s always bragging about, she had to have someone to help get her rocks off LMAO!  They got down.  Please believe it.

So she’s a lesbian now!  And I’m a white woman!  GTFOH Danielle.  She would date a muppet if it would get her some press.

Okay, she has two sex tapes.  One was unreleased and allegedly taped by her “ex” fuck buddy, Steve.  The second sex tape is available for purchase online.  She said that she didn’t release it and does not get paid from it!  Why does she have all of those damn lawyers working on gag orders and shit for Dina, a woman who is not even on the show anymore, but won’t pay her attorneys to get her a piece of the money from a sex tape that she’s in?  Is she that stupid?  Don’t answer that…Jacqueline saw the tape and said that it was filmed purposely.  She said their faces are not viewable and that it was a bad acting porn.  Oxymoron much!

There goes Theresa again saying that Danielle is a bad mom for shooting the sex tape when she has two young kids.  That’s my point!  I wish Danielle would really haul off and tell her a thing or two about herself!  I’m sick of her ass with these lopsided rules!

Wait a minute, I’m hearing that Theresa’s nephew is gay!  Maybe that’s why she didn’t acknowledge him.  I need to find out more about this.  Now this is interesting.  I wish Danielle would have said some more shit about it with the cameras rolling.

Okay, back to the show.  They’re replaying the night Danielle busted into the Brownstone for the charity event that she didn’t buy a ticket for.  So much for charity.  Danny and that other clown are no more gangstas than Hollywood and me!  The father of the child is upset with Danielle b/c she never gave a dolla, even till this day.  Even Caroline called her on her shit saying that she’s lying.  Dirty Danielle said that she donated $6000 that she collected from other people.  Mama ‘Line wasn’t having it.  She said that won’t have Danielle fucking around with her son’s safety by bringing Danny into the Brownstone!

UGH, we have to wait another week for the conclusion and it’s going to be explosive!  I’ll be back for that.  BTW I think Dirty Danielle is done with the show for good.  She shouldn’t be b/c her broke ass needs the money, but I’m sure Kim G will be the replacement trouble maker!

In a minute…

Real Housewives of New Jersey: 6/21/10

Caroline, Jacqueline and an always late Teresa start off with an Italian lunch discussing Dina’s exit from the show last week.  I know that they have to be dramatic, but why do they spend so much time talking about Danielle when they don’t like her?  I wouldn’t give her crazy ass the airtime, but what do I know?  No matter what they’re discussing, I can’t concentrate on shit else but Jackie’s lips when she’s on camera!  WHY did she do that to herself?

Over to Dirty Danielle seeing a plastic surgeon about her boobs!  WHO ANNOUNCES ON NATIONAL TV THAT THEY HAD A STAF INFECTION?  EWWWW!  You see Kenyon Martin denied his staf infection to the heavens.  I love how Dirty Danielle said last episode that she’s become shy about dating b/c of her body, yet she flashed those infected tits to the doctor and his assistant like she was on set for a Playboy shoot after 5 Patron shots!

Lauren is at beauty school doing Avante Garde day.  Why did they think that black face was a good idea?  I never find that shit funny, but aight.  Mama ‘Line came to check out her investment daughter in action.  Blah blah blah.

Back to Jackie and Chris talking about Ashley’s bad ass!  I try not to talk about people’s kids, but maybe she wouldn’t be such a brat if they didn’t overindulge her already spoiled ass!  They shoulda whooped her ass when she was 5!!!!  If Hollywood or I woulda talked to our moms that way, especially as a teenager, they sho nuff woulda taken us out of this world!  Please believe it.  Ashley is laughing and smiling through her fake ass apology!  I will say though, Jackie and Chris shoulda been more embarrassed to have a man over who fucked Dirty Danielle than they were how Ashley acted!  Just sayin…

What’s up with this tired ass party planner Teresa hired?  First of all, her name is Elvira!  Ain’t that enough?  She is killing me acting like she has all this and that in her home/life, but she’s hired help!  What kind of douchebitch insults a potential client?  I wouldn’t have given her a penny.  Actually, I would….to buy her some tracks and new color for that thin, bad hair!  It’s a housewarming, not the Jersey Shore!

Here comes Ashley with her luggage tryna move back in!  Please.  They know good and hell well she ain’t gonna follow rule the first!  Why are they even entertaining this bratty ass little girl?  There is no negotiating!  Bitch don’t pay the mortgage, the car note or the utilities.  WHY are you people negotiating with her?  She’s a clown!  Ashley was tired of slummin’ w/that soft, broke boyfriend of hers.  I’d wanna move back to.  Difference is my parents woulda acted like they didn’t hear the doorbell!

Over to Mama “Line’s house.  Albie didn’t make a high enough GPA to stay in law school.  He’s so broken…sad.  He has a learning disability and he’s not picking up as quickly as everyone else!  This is fucked up, but Mama “Line has his BACK!  This is why I like her.  I’m tryin not to tear up.  I’m glad that she’s tellin’ Albie not to give up based on what one person says.  Fuck that!  She gave him good advice.  He just has to work harder and he’ll be aight somewhere else.  Trust, another school wants a Real Housewife’s kid on their campus, especially their donating asses!

Posche, for real?!!  It’s a “boutique” where Jackie and Lady T are shopping for post baby wear.  Aight, that Kim D was at Dirt Danielle’s bullshit luncheon to show off celebrate her daughter’s magazine cover!  These broads kill me playing both sides of the fence tryna be on fucking tv.  I wouldn’t hang out w/these two faced hoes if my life depended on it.  And what’s up w/these grown ass women who can ONLY be friends w/someone if they’re ONLY friends w/them and nobody else?  That’s hella childish.  If you trust that person enough to call them a friend, then you should trust that they ass aint shady!

Dirty Danielle is getting her tits fixed, finally.  I love that even right before she goes under, Dirty Danielle is talking about how fabulous she is…how nature has been good to her.  She needs to quit.  You know you’re fucked when your tits are depressed ROFL!!!!  They don’t even know how to fix her shit.  OMG SHE’S GETTING HER BOOBS REDONE IN A STRIP MALL GNR!  That takes the cake.

At Case de Manzo, they’re celebrating Lauren’s upcoming graduation and show love to the boys, too.  Albie is tryna have a little pity party, wantin to be acknowledged for finishing HS and college…you know, shit you’re supposed to do.  Man UP!

Okay, it’s time for T’s housewarming party.  OMG that party planner is  a crack addict!  WTF is wrong w/this woman? 

Oh Lord, Jacqueline called T b/c she feels like shit that Kim G wasn’t invited.  You see, Jackie needs to stop taking in strays.  She did that shit with Dirty D and you see how far that got her!  Kim G sent that text to Jackie on purpose to get an invite.  She knew what the fuck she was doing!  Calculating ass old broads!

Dirty Danielle is coming out of surgery.  She needs some chap stick STAT!  I bet Danielle’s kids were glad that her ass was gone for a few hours!  They can’t stand her ass, especially the older one.  She’s gonna emancipate herself from Dirty D by the time she’s 17…watch!  She is really a crazy person!  How is it that fake boobs symbolize the new your?  They aren’t even really yours you jackass! 

Back to the housewarming, Mama “Line and the Manzos have arrived.  Caroline looks good.  She’s clearly lost a few pounds this season.  Good for her!  And here goes Kim G kissing up!  Let me tell you what she’s up to.  She’s tryna kick up shit this season so that Bravo feels the need to make her a permanent fixture on the show!  I’d bet money on it and I hope they don’t fall for the shit!  Dirty Danielle is all the messiness we need in one cast!  Wait a second, did Kim D just invite herself up into the middle of T’s toast?  Does no one but Caroline and me notice that this ho is out for self??

Why don’t they listen to Caroline?  She be tellin’ them from the gate about not trusting these bitches and nobody listens!  Dumb ass fools!  They’ve been warned!

I know ya’ll watched.  What are your thoughts?

…in a minute…Vine

Dirty Danielle – Breaking News!!

Real Housewives of New Jersey leading lady Dirty Danielle Staub, AKA Beverly Merrill, is headed to court today to stop from slimy piece of shit from selling less than flattering pictures of her, as well as the infamous sex tape!

The courts will grant her an injunction, but don’t be surprised if the shit hits the net regardless.  It always does.

…in a minute

source: Reality TV Buzz

Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion: Part I Recap

I’m 22 minutes in and have been to busy shaking my head at this bullshit to type.

One thing became clear to me right away.  Jacque has chosen sides; she’s clearly ridin’ wit the Manzos!  Think back to how certain Jacqueline was about WHAT Dina and Caroline said about Danielle and HOW they said it.  Now all of a sudden when Danielle says that she did try and get the group together prior to the table flippin’ fete, Jacqueline barely let out an “I don’t recall that”mumble under her breath.  Caroline was on her ass like white on rice and Jacqueline has definitely learned her place in the Manzo food chain.  Evidently, it’s pretty fucking low!

Hollywood will totally disagree with me, but I gotta be honest…Danielle is starting to grow on me!  I thought she looked like hell tonight, but she’s growing on me nonetheless!  I just really hate when a bunch of broads sit with their noses turned up at one in particular as if she’s beneath them.  The truth of the matter is none of them New Jersey bitches are perfect.  Danielle’s a con artist, but she was right.  At any given time someone could take a picture of their lives and make it “the book”. 

I just saw Jacquelineshed tears about the miscarriages.  Was it just me or did could ya’ll see in Danielle’s eyes that she wanted to console Jacque?  She’s tacky and arguably a bad mother, but I don’t think she’s a malicious person.  I really don’t. 

Jacqueline is a grown ass, married woman with 3 children.  Caroline, PLEASE let her speak for herself!  Please!  Is that shit too much to ask?  When Caroline started that bullshit blame game on Danielle for the breakdown between Chris, Jacqueline and Dina, I could see the pre-arranged Manzo agreement unfolding.  Jacqueline and those injected lips couldn’t get a word in edgewise.  Glad Danielle asked her to speak up ON HER OWN!

Speaking of, did ya’ll see them damn lips?  She looked like a whole damn family of bees stung her in the lips!  Like Caroline hit her in the mouth with them tits! 

Teresa is officially the dumbest housewife in history!  Jacqueline’s newborn baby is smarter than Teresa.  Straight up!  I could literally sit here and type the reasons until Thursday’s show airs and wouldn’t be stumped! 

Just when I thought I’d give Teresa a little bit of credit, she turned around making ridiculous comments about gays.  Whenever you justify bigotry by saying that you have ___ friends, have had ___ people in your house, or love ___ people, yo ass is a bigot!  Even Andy’s boring ass said he was offended by the comment, but she just turned around and inadvertently called him stupid!  If we had to wait for Teresa to think before she speaks, she’d never say a word!  And what’s up with Andy announcing he’s gay…as if we didn’t know that shit!

Finally, Andy brings up the alleged mafia connection.  Caroline was tremendously offended by the accusations from the media that the Manzos are involved in organized crime.  She said 100% it’s untrue, PERIOD!  Dina shed some tears.  Not sure why; she wasn’t even married to her second meal ticket husband when his father passed away. 

Looks like they’re saving the Danielle gang bang for Thursday!  Why drag this shit out, Bravo?  Just keep the show on for 3 more damn episodes.  Problem solved.

One down, one to go.  What did ya’ll think about tonight’s episode?

…Vine…in a minute

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Finale

Dina and Lexi start off visiting Terrible T’s new house.  Why does she have on a Jersey Girl t-shirt?  Like people can’t figure the shit out by lookin’ at her and listenin’ to her tawwwwlk!  Dina ain’t much better with that sleeveless top on and a damn scarf!  Of course she likes how Teresa dresses…look at her non dressin’ ass!  Only God knows how bad is smelled in that meth lab wine cellar.

Hmmph, we’ll see how much of a not rude person Teresa is when she starts flippin’ over tables like she’s The Nature Boy Rick Flair during a wrestling match.  Yes, I went straight up 80’s…like her damn hair!

Over at Dirty D’s house, she breaks out her modeling portfolio for her kids.  She clearly did that to butter the kids up, makin’ them think she’s cool right before she dropped the hammer on they ass!  Why would you show your kids pictures that you described as hedonistic? 

Aight she said that there were only 3 things true in the book – she was a stripper, she was arrested and she changed her name!  WHOA WHOA, did she just say her FIRST ex-husband?  Hold up, didn’t she say that she was married once?  Now all of a sudden it was twice.

The Beverly Hillbillies are in town to visit.  Jacque’s father told her if she keeps on, she’s gone look like Goldie Hawn in The First Wives Club!  Dayum, nobody on this show has a fucking censor.  That shit was hilarious.  But while grandpa is keepin’ it real with Jacqueline, I gotta keep it real with him.  That little swooped piece of hair he got goin’ on needs to go!  He looks like the Mayor of Whoville!

Dina pretending to be a mother is boring! 

Caroline’s husband is worried about her being home at night by herself.  So he got her a “protection dog”!  I’ll let ya’ll finish my thought.

Did ya’ll see all those cars in the driveway at Jacque’s?  If running an event facility pays THAT kind of money, then let me start soliciting investors now! 

How the fuck are they SOOO proud of Ashleyand her accomplishments when she ain’t accomplished shit?  Bitch ain’t even finish a damn grade in HIGH SCHOOL!  It’s not like we’re talking college with a full load.  English, Math, History and fucking PE!  How hard is that?  To top it off, she got a fucking attitude when Chris called for them to come outside.  This is why she’s obnoxious…they give her ass too much when she really doesn’t deserve it.

Here goes Dina’s ass complaining about having a thriving career again, but not wanting it.  Then quit!  Problem solved.  Stop bitching about it.  Take care of your kid, your man and those freaky looking cats.  Done.

Back at Casa de Con Artist, Danielle and her BFFs, AKA her damn kids, are gettin ready for the dinner party.  Why does this broad have on the same dress as her fucking teenager?  Put some clothes on!  We got it…you’re 45 and fit.

At the dinner party, Jacque looks like she put on one of her old cocktail waitress uniforms at Caesars Palace from her Vegas days.  Teresa is walking around with a Contempo Casuals dress on braggin about her new tits…classy.  Someone’s kid looks like a fruity cocktail with a yellow umbrella to garnish.

Here we go…in walks Danielle.  Everyone is clearly UNhappy to see her!  Joe and Teresa are so damn Jersey.  Sitting at the head of the table actin like they ain’t nevaseen seafood before.  Did ya’ll peep them makin’ fun of Danielle on the low talkin’ about swallowin’ and blow jobs and shit!  Danielle ain’t no fool.  She knew what was up.  That’s why she just sat back sippin’ that expensive ass champagne till she was ready for the gotcha gotcha!

OHMIGOD!  Now Teresa’s talkin about how much her husband likes to fuck her…in front of children.  How inappropriate can you be?  I didn’t laugh once…not quite sure why they were crackin’ up.  That shit was hella rudeand raunchy.  You’re at a nice dinner for the love of Pete.  Act like you weren’t raised by monkeys!

Aww shit, Danielle pulls out the book and put it on the dinner table ROFLMAO!  Bitch pulled it out like CHECK MATE MOTHERFUCKERS!  I think Danielle is full of fucking shit, BUT she manned UP tonight baby.  The old broad came wit it!

Dina is frontin’.  She knows she popped off at the mouth about Danielle and that book!  WAIT, Mama Caroline is taking the fall for her sister?  Come on now Caroline…keep it real!  Dina is a big girl.  And if she’s bad enough to run around town talkin’ shit, then she’s bad enough to own up to the shit to Danielle’s face.

Side bar, I know what thick as thieves means, but I still don’t find it to be a good way to describe a close relationship.  Shit, thieves turn on each at the drop of a hat.  Just sayin…

Did anyone notice that Dina ain’t shit without someone to back her up?  First the drama started with Danielle and Dina, but Teresa jumped in.  So Dina got up and sat next to Teresa.  Then Caroline jumped in.  So Dina went and sat next to Caroline.  Dina’s a straight up coward, period!  On top of that, bringing Jacque into and assuming she’d lie for her ass cuz Mama Caroline did was wrong!  Chris and Jacque were sittin there minding their own business.  I’m glad Jacque told the truth.  She had no dog in that fight.  Chris knew his sister’s were lying, too!  That’s why the man was rubbin off the skin on his forehead.  What did attack dog Caroline do?  Told them ENOUGH when Jacque was lettin’ all the truth fly. 

Ummmm, am I the only one that noticed that according to Danielle, the only truths in the book went from 3 to 2 LMAO???  I’m tellin’ ya’ll, this bitch is covering HARD core!

Unfortunately, Caroline in the City was right.  Jacqueline’s gonna have to choose between “The Family” and Danielle.  Either one of two things will happen when she does.  Chris will choose her or he’ll choose his family.  So she better choose wisely!

Teresa, her sci-fi forehead and that bad wig were out of control tonight.  Was it really that serious for the bitch to be flippin’ over tables and shit at her “favorite” restaurant?  And how is she gonna be all parental about her kids being in the room when Danielle’s discussing the book, but had zero problem talking about getting fucked after surgery and her sore pussy in front of her kids?  These bitches think they’re slick tryna belittle Danielle cuz they think they’re better than her.  Personally, I think Danielle (and Jacque) came off looking better than the rest tonight…even the Godfather!  Teresa could dish out the turned up nose, but didn’t like how it felt when Danielle turned hers up right back at her ass.  Well, she can’t really move her face cuz of all the botox, but ya’ll know what I mean!

Teresa acted like a clown!  She fed into every stereotype that people have of Italians.  She should fucking be embarrassed!  Yeah, Danielle mighta ruined dinner, but that’s the thing about fucking with muthafuckas.  You canNOT dictate how they’ll come back at your ass…or when.  You heard Danielle say that if she hears any more shit, she’ll be at their door and she won’t be alone.  I believe her!  You know why?  Because I believe everything in that book was true! 

You could tell that Teresa has been called dumb and stupid her whole dumb and stupid ass life!  That’s why she went off like that.  Well, that and because the cameras were there!

Danielle’s first ex-husband said that Danielle is smart and will come out on top..that she’ll make this bullshit work for her.  He’s right if you ask me! 

And what was that kinky shit going on between Joe and Teresa?  First he’s tryna restrain her, then they’re making out…

Until next season…in a minute

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Episode 4 Recap

I already know the jig is about to be up for Dirty Danielle/Beverly Merrill in this episode.  What I’m not sure of is how hard she’s gonna come back on the other housewives!

Dirty D, Jacque and Teresa are out to dinner and she brought it to them off the top!  Dirty D said not only does she not even look at married men, but she damn sure wouldn’t be running behind a personal trainer who makes 25k/year… She claims to own more than that to Neiman Marcus right now.  Puhlease honey – if a married man could get you outta debt and save that house, you’d blow him faster than that balding, fat broke teeny bopper from last week!

I’m tryna to be on my best behavior with these kids, but why does a little girl who’s barely in a training bra even own booty shorts?  Lexi has no business with shorts that fucking short in her possession.  I’m sorry, but she doesn’t! 

Teresa and that curly hair takes me back to the hair bear days.  Ain’t she a hair bear 2 decades after the fad?!  Anyway, she and her husband wanna take salsa and merengue classes.  So they’re going to make it a cast affair.  Of course, Jacque invites Beverly/Danielle because the producers told her to she didn’t want her to feel excluded.  Why is this bitch always agreeing to go somewhere that costs money, but is the first one to complain about being broke?  Stay your broke ass at home then!

Aight, Caroline don’t dance, but she’s there to watch her kids have fun!  WAIT A MINUTE…HOLD UP!  Danielle did NOT just walk up in the studio in full ballet attire OMG!  Make it stop…LMFAO!!!  She is too much for tv.  Whooo okay.  This bitch just said that she has a professional background in dance.  Um, STRIPPING ain’t the same as being a trained dancer honey!  Caroline looks like she’s about to jump off that couch and claw Danielle like that tiger did Roy and I ain’t tryna be mean or funny!

Okay, let me get this straight, Danielle sexually molested Caroline’s son during a fun loving night of dancing, but she took offense to Teresa’s husband, Joe, saying that the instructor was “so gay”?  Give me a fucking break!

NOW, after the class Danielle tried to check Joe on his slurs and he told her to be quiet.  She snapped back don’t tell me to be quiet…I’m not your wife!  Teresa and her simple-minded self wasn’t quite sure, but thought it was an insult to her (smdh).  Look, I’m the first one to jump on Dirty D’s case, but I gotta give this one to her!  I woulda said the same shit.  She wasn’t really insulting Teresa as much as she was letting Joe know “muthafucka you can’t talk to me any kinda way cuz I’m not married to your beefcake ass”.  It was about Joe, not Teresa!

Chris and Jacque are back at the fertility doctor’s office.  Doc said nothing is wrong with either of them, which of course we know cuz she’s about to pop!  Maybe broads who are 40 and shit should be thankful for the kids they already have and leave the shit alone.  I think it’s hella selfish when A) older women have kids knowing it could prove unhealthy for the child and B) old ass men have kids with young women knowing they have lived damn near most of their lives…like Tony Randall and Larry King.

Anyway, Dina’s baby daddy pulled up in a VW Jetta.  No wonder he and Dina didn’t work out!

Dirty D called Teresa to clear the air after their night of salsa, but the hair bear hung up on that ass!  Guess she really was through.

Caroline and Teresa headed over to Dina’s to discuss Danielle.  A Cop Without A Badgehas come to light.  It truly wasn’t a bitch session.  Teresa voiced her concerns and anger the most, I think, cuz she was friends with Danielle and felt betrayed.  I can see that.  Shockingly, Dina didn’t really use it as an opportunity to twist the knife.  She and Caroline held back a ton! 

Jacque showed up at Danielle’s to tell her about the book EVEN THOUGH her family told her to keep her mouth shut!  Dirty Danielle sits down with champagne to tell her about “the book”.  According to D, she was arrested as an accessory cuz she came home one day right before the feds busted her then boyfriend!  Did she expect someone to believe that bullshit?  I mean for real.  Jacque seems to believe it thus far, but who knows at this point.

Over at HairBear’s dream house, the new furniture is being delivered.  Must she stand at the top of the stairs telling the delivery people to be careful wit her shit cuz it’s expensive?  No shit@@ Lawd, her husband rolls with hella cash on him, too?  What’s wrong with these fucking people ya’ll?  Who does that? 

Did Teresa really have the nerve to say that she’s having her house built because living in someone elses house is gross, yet she said her husband is the “most easiest” man to get along with?  That further proves my point that money doesn’t buy class…or a grasp of basic grammar!

Danielle cracked open even more bottles with her gay friend of 27 years, Tommy!  Now he said they’ve known each other 25 years, she said 27.  Then she said that the shit written about in the book was 24/25 years old.  If that’s true, then why didn’t her oldest and dearest friend know about this shit?  Why is she having to tell him the story now?  Something is rotten in Denmark!  Dirty D is putting on a show for someone.  She probably just met that gay guy while she was at the grocery store picking up wine!

Tommy and Danielle got their gossip on pretty much!  He suggested taking it straight to Dina’s ass!  It might go down on tonight’s episode. 

YES!!  I’m finally caught up.  Now ya’ll can get off a bitch’s back!

…Vine…in a minute

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