Poor J Lo My Ass…

J Lo has been granted a temporary restraining order to keep her first victim husband, Ojani Noa, from telling it all!  Hopefully when the shit expires his attorneys will be able to make it happen.

Every blog and article on the net is talking about poor J Lo.  Not us!  J Lo is acting like such a damn victim, as usual.  But wasn’t she trying to convince us years ago that she and her life were an open book?  Did she suddenly forget about how dirty she did Ojani’s ass with that Pasadena restaurant?  She hired him to manage the place well after they divorced.  So obviously, the trust and friendship was there.  Then came Ben and all of a sudden Ojani was left high and dry.

For that alone he should be able to say what the hell he wants and make money off of it.  She took away his livelihood, he should put a dent in hers!

Team Ojani…

…H & V…in a minute

Lil Wayne Pleads Guilty To Gun Charges…

I don’t even have the energy to  keep up with rappers and their cases, but I can always run my mouth about it.  Lil Wayne has pleaded guilty to some kind of gun charges.  I guess he was illegally in possession of guns on his tour bus or some shit.  He could face 8 months to a year in jail.

If you read this blog, you know me well enough to know that I say…GOOD!  I am so sick of niggas acting like donkies!  Why does Lil Wayne have guns on his tour bus?  Why does someone with Lil Wayne’s money not simply hire a person who can legally carry weapons to protect him if it’s that serious?  Did nobody learn from Plexiglass Burress ass?

This is just ignorance to the nth power!  I don’t give a damn who you are.  If you break the law, put their ass in jail, period!  I’m as tired of this bullshit as I am with celebrities launching clothing lines!

…next

…in a minute

‘Skanks in NYC’ Blogger, You’ve Been Served…

Courtesy of internetdefamationblog.com

Yesterday a Manhattan judge ordered Google to give up the name of an anonymous blogger who created Skanks in NYC, a blog devoted to trashing model Liskula Cohen, whoever she is.

Evidently, the blogger often called the “model” skank, ho and whore.  Now Cohen feels like it has hurt her name and career.  Natch, she wants to file a lawsuit. 

First of all, how is a no-name blogger hurting the career of a no-name model?  Secondly, if someone is stating their opinion, whether it be on a blog or in everyday conversation at a bar, how is that worthy of a fucking lawsuit?  To me, it’s not, but I’m clearly not a judge. 

As our favorite blogger, Blackrazzi, pointed out to us, if that’s the case, then ‘Skanks in NYC’ readers who leave comments shouldn’t be allowed anonymity either! 

Hollywood and I get called worse than that shit on the daily.  I think nigger tops skank, ho and whore, but you don’t see us running to a judge tryna file suit.  Bitch should just shake it off and keep it pushin!  Now every damn body in America is gonna be clogging our already overcrowded courts with bullshit.  All she’s doing is shining more light on Skanks in NYC.  Yep, I’m gonna keep repeating it to ensure a few extra hits to the blog!

The coup d’etat will be when the blogger’s attorney brings Cohen’s former lovers into the court room to testify that she is, in fact, a skank, ho and whore!  Doesn’t the photo say it all?  Just askin…

What do ya’ll think of this foolishness?  Let us know.

…Vine…in a minute

Click here to follow H & V on Twitter.

MC Hammer’s Cousin Arrested For Rape…

Why has nobody given this story sufficient attention?  It’s not cuz people don’t give a damn about Hammeranymore.  That can’t entirely be it; the man has over a million followers on Twitter and his show is doing aight from what we understand.

If ya’ll watch that bullshit Hammertime, then you know who Big Marv‘s fat ass is.  Allegedly he met a broad from L.A. on Twitter.  Twittering turned to talking on the phone…talking on the phone turned to her taking a trip up North to visit fat Albert in person.

She got herself a hotel room (first mistake) in Livermore, CA and had dinner with Big Marv.  Afterward, they went back to her room to kick it.  Not fuck, but kick it.  He allegedly tried to push up on her and she turned his ass down, as she should have since they just met.  He wasn’t having it and according to her, the nigga raped her!  When he was done, he got up and bounced without saying a word!  Then SHE got up and drove herself directly to the police station to file charges against that ass.

Police contacted Big Marv twice, both times he said he’d turn himself in for questioning.  Of course, he never showed.  So they arrested his ass last Wednesday. 

We weren’t there, but we think he’s guilty.  HOWEVA, ladies, let’s get some shit straight.  If you don’t know a nigga, we don’t give a fuck WHO he’s related to or what [reality] tv show he’s on, don’t invite his ass into your hotel room, house, whateva.  Damn sure not a 300 pounder who you can’t fight off!  And stop paying for your own accommodations.  If that man wants to see you bad enough, he’ll come outta pocket. 

If he’s guilty, then of course she did not deserve this.  That ain’t what we’re saying so don’t comment with some bullshit.  We’re saying that a lot of men are fucking sick ass predators and women need to have their own back, PERIOD!  You can believe it or not!

Hammer barely has that damn show and now his ole ham hock eating ass cousin tryna bring him down! 

We’ll update with more details as they’re made public.

…H & V…in a minute

Dirty Danielle – Breaking News!!

Real Housewives of New Jersey leading lady Dirty Danielle Staub, AKA Beverly Merrill, is headed to court today to stop from slimy piece of shit from selling less than flattering pictures of her, as well as the infamous sex tape!

The courts will grant her an injunction, but don’t be surprised if the shit hits the net regardless.  It always does.

…in a minute

source: Reality TV Buzz

Buffoon of the Year…Plaxico Burress

Now you know Hollywood & Vine had to say something about Plaxico Burress’ stupid ass!  Is this not the dumbest nigga in the NFL?  Just in case anyone out there hasn’t heard about this shit, let us fill you in.

In the early morning hours of Saturday, November 29, Burress and his NY Giants teammate Antonio Pierce rolled up to Manhattan nightclub, Latin Quarter, even though his hamstring injury having ass should have been in the fucking house!  They made their way pass all the groupies in line and headed straight to VIP.  What the non pattin down, dick ridin security guards didn’t know was that the nigga had a loaded, semiautomatic gun in the waistband of his SWEAT PANTS!  Um….

About 30 minutes later, this fool started was fucking around with his drink and the gun fell from his waistband.  As Buress tried to grab the gun, probably to keep people from knowing that he was stupid enough to think a gun would stay put in the waistband of some damn SWEATS, he accidentally pulled the trigger and shot HIMSELF in the thigh!

Apparently, he then told Pierce “take me to the hospital”.  Pierce helped this fool to the Escalade that brought them to the club with an unknown ride or die bitch behind the wheel.  One of the security guards picked up the gun, unloaded it, brought it to the Escalade and asked Pierce what he wanted him to do with it.  Pierce put it in the glove compartment and they went to New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center.  The rest of the story is boring, but if you’d like to read it, click here.

H&V have a few questions and comments:

–  If Plexiglas is so afraid for his safety that he needs to carry a gun in his panties, why not just hire a bodyguard?  Duh!!

–  Why did someone over the age of 4 think that a gun would stay put in the waistband of some damn sweats?

–  Antonio Pierce claims he didn’t know that Plaxico had a gun until it went off!  Okay negro…

–  Poor Eli Manning.  These half witted ass fools done fucked up his chance for a second consecutive ring! 

Update:  Plexiglas took a plea that will put him behind bars for 20 months!  His dumb ass should be grateful that he didn’t get the maximum sentence of 15 years!  He deserved it!

In a minute…