Real (California) time people…here we go!
Steve-O hurt himself earlier today so he and Lacey are out for the week.
Holly’s first up w/the Quick Step. I think she’s gonna be worse this week than last week, but we’ll see in a minute! Well she does look more like a lady than a tramp tonight. This is just bad and ya know what, Dmitry don’t look all that hot out there either and he’s the pro! Total 18…they didn’t deserve that much frankly!
David Alan Grier is about to Salsa with Kim. They put him in a shiny gold shirt with ruffles down the front. Someone in the wardrobe department at Dancing w/the Stars is funny as hell! Okay, I can’t stop laughin’. The look on his face when Kim rolled her ass in his face was priceless! I don’t know what to say; that was worse than Holly’s dance. We are off to a boring ass start tonight. Total – 17.
Denise Richards and Maks fine ass are next. She better thank God that the QS is done in hold cuz Maks helped her look a lot better. Here they go giving her props like they did w/Brooke Burke last season. This bitch cannot dance! If the judges start this shit again, I might give up this show. I’m lyin’, but damn…a 21? Give me a fucking break!
Belinda Carlisle is up! She and Jonathan are going to Salsa. I think he’s gonna give her something to work w/this week. Oh, I take that back. Jonathan said he’s putting some of her 80’s moves into the routine. Um, yeah cuz that goes with the Salsa. This is a train wreck of large magnitudes ya’ll. Belinda’s ass is going home tomorrow…if we’re lucky. The judges are gonna eat her up. Lawd have mercy, Bruno’s side show from his seat was better than what Belinda did on the actual dance floor. Total 18 – they were being nice. She shouldn’t have gotten higher than a 15.
Ty Murrayand Chelsie are gonna QS tonight. His stiff ass will probably do a lot better than that disaster last week. Are we gonna have to listen to his rodeo puns all season? If so, I hope he gets voted off. Just like I figured, he was way better tonight. I was actually entertained watchin’. Total 20.
Mark and Shawn Johnson are going to Salsa tonight. This ain’t gonna be pretty. Ya ever been to a salsa club and man who’s a great dancer has a partner who is doing the moves with ZERO personality? That’s what Shawn and Mark were tonight, to me. She went through the motions fine, but there was nothing memorable. Total 24!
Steve Wozniackand Kryptonite Karina are gonna “dance” the QS. I use the word dance lightly. It seems that Steve is crushing a bone in his foot…surprise surprise. No words for that. That was the slowest QS I mighta seen on this show. You can see the disgust in Karina’s face. How in the hell did he get the same score as David Alan Grier?
Country couple Julianne and Chuck are about to Salsa. Chuck said he was gonna walk and move his hips like a girl….like Derek! Um, Chuck, tellin’ alleged family secrets ain’t the way to work your way in. Aight, here they go. The most entertaining part of the performance was Julianne tryna prevent a wardrobe malfunction! Chuck just can’t dance. His hips don’t lie and they’re saying that he sucks in the sack. Just sayin’…Seriously though, Carrie Ann was right. The choreography was bad. HOW did they get a 20?? Aight, I’m bout to call conspiracy in a minute!
LTand Edyta doing the QS was pretty good! The judges seemed to like it, too, but we’ll see if they give him bullshit scores, too. 20! Not bad.
Cuz of Steve-O’sinjury, he can only be judged by his performance in dress rehearsal. Based on that, I wouldn’t give him one vote. I’m with Len, it was unejoyable and where the fuck was the Salsa? She had Julianne syndrome w/her creativity tonight. Whoa, was it just me or did Carrie Ann just blame Steve-O’s injury on Lacey? Damn Inaba…Bitch been cranky since she stopped gettin’ her groove back with that youngster. Total – 14.
Derek, Lil Kim and her hip implants are doing the QS. It’s so hard to look at her…but not while she’s dancing! She did damn good! Get it bitch! Let’s see if the judges front on her. Bruno and Carrie Ann liked it, but Len wasn’t impressed.
Aww shit, look at Bethenny Frankel (NY Housewives) in the audience. Love her!
Back to Lil Kim and Derek. They got a 23! (800.868.3401).
Melissa’s up next with Tony! She better not disappoint tonight. She worked her shit tonight! Tony FINALLY has someone to take him back to the finals! Love her! Loved it! Yeah, her parents wouldn’t be seen on the Bachelor, but they were damn sure in the audience for this shit! 26 BITCHES! (800.868.3413)
Last but not least Cheryl and Gilles. Even dressed as a geek doing this shit he’s still sexy as hell. That was great! Dude can really dance. Cheryl should be going back to the finals, too! Total – 27. They deserved that. (800.868.3405)
What did ya’ll think of tonight’s show?
…Vine…in a minute