Oh no, Vicki is tryna play matchmaker with Breanna and one of her colleague’s son! This has disaster written all over it. Dayum, did ya’ll see that big ass gumbo pot full of Top Ramen that Breanna was making? Hmmm, so far so good, but I’m sure the thought of Vicki being his mother-in-law will scare him off!
Gretchen hopped a plane out to Michigan to see Jeff’s kids and bury his ashes with them. I’m glad that his kids have stuck by Gretchen and not let assholes like Tamra shake their belief in what was real to them and their father!
Over at Vicki’s for the BBQ she put together to welcome Chris, Tacky Tam and her tacky ass family showed up. Who is she to say that it’s weird that Chris flew out to Cali to meet Breanna? She is so damn NEGATIVE. I know that is funny coming from us, but shit, at least we find the good in some shit. She can’t find the good in pay day! Her gay, ill-mannered son, Ryan, showed up acting like a lil bitch! How are you technically going to steal someone’s car and not apologize to them for it? Team Simon on this one! Ryan needs to get his license back along with a job and stop taking shit that don’t belong to him!
Alexis and Jim are enjoying lunch together, looks like the Ritz-Carlton, Marina del Rey. He just gave her a sweet piece of jewelry. I can’t hate. So far so good. I like those two. There is nothing wrong with putting your husband and kids on a pedestal. Frankly, it’s supposed to be like that, especially when he does the same to you.
Over to the pot house, the Curtins have called in some chick named Vanessa who’s supposed to know kids better than adults. I can’t with Raquel, Alexis and this sham of a woman. Uh oh, wait a minute. Alexa is being honest. You see, she is desperate to talk to someone! She’s starved for attention. She just said it…finally someone to listen to her, not talk over her! She’s a very smart girl. I hope she keeps her head on straight and stop walking around looking like Paris Hilton. That’s not cute in spite of what teenage white girls think!
Oh no, Breanna and old boy don’t seem to be feelin each other any more. Why not get the man out the house and do something? Nobody wants to sit up in your mama’s house for a weekend. That was uncomfortable to watch!
Lord, Breanna took this poor guy to a damn yogurt place. He did not come out to Cali for this. She’s boring as hell! I wouldn’t have had much to say to her either.
Jeff’s kids took Gretchen to the cemetery where they plan to bury his ashes! I will not let myself cry! I will not! I’m just thankful that they all are still connected. I think that would’ve warmed Jeff’s heart.
Over at Tacky Tam’s wig party, Lynne just walked in looking like Nancy Drew’s mama! Like she was hiding behind a bush spying on Alexa on a date! Maybe if Tam would save some of that vodka money and stop having parties, they’d have a bit of extra cash. Why don’t think drink tequila…that is the family business now, right?
Tamra and Ryan are grabbing a bite together. Evidently, Ryan got drunk, jumped off a tour bus and broke his foot in 4 places…..cuz that was a good fucking idea! Now he’s gettin ready to go to jail for 5 days. Ryan ain’t slick. He didn’t do that community service cuz he doesn’t have the money to pay for it. I got your number!
Looks like next week Donn and Vicki are gonna have to put Simon and Tamra in their place. I’ve been waiting for these two to fall out. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
…Vine…in a minute