Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Archive for November, 2008

Lindsay Lohan on Obama’s Win

Chic Girls Blog

Photo Source: Chic Girls Blog

How the hell did Hollywood and Vine miss this bit of ridiculousness?  It seems that during a November 11 interview with Access Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan referred to President-elect Barack Obama as the nation’s first “colored President”.  Um, can this bitch finally be black-balled once and for all?  We are so tired of this junkie piece of trash.  She wouldn’t like it if we referred to her lesbian relationship in a fucked a manner, would she?  Why is this broad still being interviewed?

In a minute…

Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Wrap-Up

Well fuck it, let’s just go from start to finish!  Did ya’ll see this shit?  Why does Bravo cut and paste these shows so damn much?  It annoys the shit out of Hollywood and Vine, but here it goes.

Some nobody ass white boy hosted the reunion and started off with Kim.  They replayed her infamous K-A-T spelling bee with Dallas Austin.  When asked what the fuck was wrong with her dumb ass, she said “I messed up.  I’m human”.  She said that like she made a mistake and fucked a married man.  Oh wait a minute, she did!  But spelling CAT wrong is just shameful.  You learn how to spell CAT when you’re 3 years old by pointing to a picture of a cat and repeating what the toy tells you! 

Sheree goes on to say that she felt it was important for herself and the other black women to represent for black women in America.  She might have felt it was important, but this bitch damn sure did NOT do shit to make sistas look any better!  Hell, Dwight Eubanks made sistas look better than Sheree’s triflin’ ass.

NeNe was ready for Sheree and Kim’s asses tonight!  Them hoes ain’t want one!  Moving on, some dumb white bitch wrote in asking if NeNe is truly an ex-stripper.  Why waste a question on the fruit lady when she could have gone online to find the answer to that shit@@  Anyway, NeNe broke it down that she strips for Gregg’s old ass most nights!  Gregg looks like he puts it DOWN.  Hollywood doesn’t like old niggas, but Vine ain’t mad at NeNe!  You better work bitch…

They showed a clip of Kim doing what she called singing…“there’s a tight rope/between me and you”.  Hollywood and Vine wish the only tight rope near Kim would be tied around her vocal cords so we wouldn’t have to hear that shit ever again!  Kim goes on to talk about how her album is being released the first week in January 2009.  While we sat here laughing at her, it became clear that she really believes that her voice is a God given talent.  Who did she blow to get a record deal?  We’re just askin’…

Kim was way too comfortable telling NeNe to ‘back ya ass up’ and throwing around the word bitch!  Ya’ll can’t tell us that Big Papa ain’t black!  No white bitch would feel that comfortable calling a black woman out her name unless she felt like she got a nigga pass!

Kim said that it was her choice not to tell who Big Papa was, but when the show first started, she said point blank that Big Papa chose not to be revealed because he is a celebrity.  Which one is it?  This broad can’t even lie right. 

Speaking of out and out lies, Kim told the worse muthafuckin lie that she could have thought of.  First of all, what was with the white girl tears?  As much as those bitches break out in tears for no reason, you’d think that they’ve learned to actually shed a tear.  This broad didn’t say that she went to the doctor to have tests run.  She said that a FRIEND of hers who’s a doctor (yeah right) said he was 90% sure that she had Cancer.  BASED ON WHAT?  Then it turned out not to be Cancer.  Bitch threw that in there at the end like those side effect disclaimers on medication commercials!

Sheree had the NERVE to say that DeShawn’s auction was an embarrassment.  Yeah it was, but it was no more of an embarrassment than her outfit that night.  It was no more embarrassing than her muthafuckin ass having a fashion show with no fucking clothes!  That’s why we don’t like Sheree’s ass…because she is always trying to play someone when her shit ain’t on point either!

One thing that Hollywood and Vine hate is when people say shit as fact that they know nothing about.  Sheree’s dumb ass said that most designers don’t sketch or sew.  Um, what the fuck designers does she know because Hollywood and Vine know quite a few real designers and they ALL sketch and sew!  No, all of them don’t, but MOST?  Come on now.  This bitch just be runnin’ her damn mouth.  That’s why her ass is single.  Saying Michael Knight is JUST known in Atlanta.  Is she crazy?  Sheree’s other problem is that she is trying so fucking hard to act like she’s nonchalant about men and she’s not a gold digger, but all that is a front to try and attract yet another nigga with money!  We see through you Sheree and niggas will, too! 

Just a few more observations about the show:

– Why did Sheree’s birthday cake look like a bowling bag?

– We won’t even touch Sheree’s “HAVE YOU SAW HER” comment.

– Sheree said she tried to keep it “classy”.  Doesn’t the use of the word classy show your lack of class?

– Kim, just a tip sweetie, when you tell muthafuckas how many nigga friends you have, then your ignorant ass is suspect, if not racist.

– Kim told NeNe “Fuck you”, but 15 minutes later said she was over her issues with NeNe.  We think her wig is too tight.

– Lisa looked great!  Her make up was young and fresh, she pulled herself together well for the reunion.  But, she said that she thinks there’s a lot of water under the bridge with the other ladies so it would be hard to repair things.  Boo, we’re starting to like you, but we have to let you know that water under the bridge is a good thing!  It means you’ve moved on.  Lisa must have learned some of her American phrases from her father, Stanley Wu, because her shit don’t be translating properly!

– Props to DeShawn Snow!  DeShawn’s hair might have looked like hell, but the bitch’s attitude tonight was so on point!  She rose above all the bullshit and kept it Christian and positive; we can’t be mad at that.  Anyone trying to bring her down, she just let them know bitch, I’m not coming down to your level (Sheree)!  Bravo bitch, bravo!

Last, but certainly not least, we have two words for ya’ll…DWIGHT EUBANKS!  Was that muthafucka not fierce tonight?  Nigga’s wet and wavy weave looked like it grew right out his scalp.  We love this fool.  He truly was the 6th housewife.  He kept it DIVO tonight, but we fell out when he told Kim he would bring her into the 21st Century!  Now Kim, you know you ain’t on point when the gays play you on national tv.

We hope we’re done with the Atlanta Housewives until their next season because we already see the OC women are going to wear us out all over again!

Did ya’ll see the reunion?  Tell Hollywood and Vine what you think.

In a minute

2008 American Music Award Wrap-Up

Was this not the most boring shit you’ve seen on tv this year?  Hollywood and Vine certainly think so.  We won’t go on too long about this bullshit; the show was long enough!

If you didn’t see Beyonce’s performance, take a look at this clip before Dick Clark’s old ass has the shit taken down!  Who the fuck does this muthafucka think is gonna be hurt by keeping up a clip of some shit that will never be on TV or DVD ever again, but we digress!!  Beyonce looked good, albeit a biscuit away, and all, but was that the best she got?  We remember the Crazy In Love days when bitch used to come out on the stage pumpin’ and poppin’ like the hungry bitch she was!  Now she’s out there puttin’ on a lightweight drag talent show??  Just cuz the nigga put on ring own it Bey, don’t start slippin’!

PLEASE WATCH THIS SHIT!  WHY are the Pussycat Dolls still being asked to perform live?  Peep the non-talented black girl fuck up the whole performance.  The other broads were onto the next 8 count and this bitch still trying to get off her jacket??  She was lookin’ like “FUCK!  OMG YOU GUYS, I CAN’T GET THIS GODDAMN JACKET OFF!”  They need to go on and boot her ass.  She can’t dance to save her life, she can’t sing, what else is there?  The have her there to hit high notes when Nicole is either tired or dancing and she can’t even do that shit right.  Let that ass go.  Speaking of Nicole, why can’t she sing anymore?  For real though, this bitch ain’t SANG since she was auditioning for Eden’s Crush!  Yeah, we said it.  Eden’s Crush.  She looks great and can still dance her ass off, but her voice sounds like a 3rd rate cabaret singer’s at this point!  Is it just us, or was Carmit back on stage with the others last night?  We wish these hoes would just stay put instead of thinking they’re so fucking talented and in demand that they need to be solo! 

Lastly, let’s touch on Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon for a minute before we go.  Hollywood thinks that Mariah and Nick were way over the top last night.  All that extra bullshit, he might as well gotten down on one knee and proposed all over again.  We get it, ya’ll muthafuckas is married…move on.  Not Vine though.  Hey, bitches are so used to being treated like second class citizens nowadays just to say they got a man, broads don’t know how to act when they see a real man treat a real woman how she should be treated!  We are so used to niggas walkin’ through the door before us and shit that we don’t know chivalry when we see it!

Did ya’ll watch last night?  Tell Hollywood and Vine your thoughts!

In a minute…

The Roots Survive Bus Crash In Paris


Image Source: okayplayer.com

okayplayer is reporting that The Roots were involved in a terrible bus crash on Wednesday night in Paris.  Thank God nobody was seriously injured.  Click here to read a detailed account of the accident by ?uesto of The Roots.

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Season Finale Wrap-Up

Grab somethin’ to drank and get comfy because we’re going to be a minute after tonight’s finale!!

Sheree, WHY are your face and your neck two totally different colors?  It’s not that fucking hard.  Take your ass to a damn make-up counter at Lenox and get the right fucking foundation for your skin tone.  That shit annoys the fuck out of us every week, but we digress.  This bitch said that something is wrong with NeNe because she has to pull other people down to make herself look better.  But in the next breath this fake ass broad says that NeNe is ignorant and she does not hang around ignorant people.  Correct us if we’re wrong, but wasn’t that putting NeNe down to make herself look better?  And Sheree sweetie, if you’re going to call someone else ignorant, Hollywood and Vine suggest that you first understand the difference between “ask” and “axe”.  Sheree, if you “axe” somebody, then your wrong color foundation wearing ass would be in jail.  Whew, Sheree is a muthafucka ain’t she…naming her damn son Kairo with a “K”!  She’s as bad as Kim’s K-A-T spellin’ ass.

There are so many words that come to mind when thinking about Kim Zolciak, but after tonight’s show the ones that stick out the most are…BAD WIG!  Who told this bitch it was cute to have a platinum blond wig and her dyed blond hair in the front with her dark roots showing?  You’re walking around with a 3 carat canary yellow diamond ring on and writin’ checks for $68,000, but you can’t match up the color of your wig to your real muthafuckin’ hair?  Raggedy ass bitch!  This 2 dolla hoe had the NERVE to say that NeNe looks like a drag queen??  Has she looked in the mirror lately.  Shit, say what you want, but NeNe looked like her body used to be tough a few years ago!  Kim really threw her kids into the mix to keep from going toe to toe with NeNe at the dinner didn’t she?  She’s such a good mother.  So good that she smokes cigarettes right in front of her children.  Nothing like passing down lung cancer and heart disease to your offspring.  Speaking of passing down, did Hollywood and Vine hear Kim right?  Did she really say that her voice is a “God given talent”?  Someone with tivo or dvr tell us that we heard her wrong because that ‘voice’ ain’t got shit to do with God!  Not ONE thing!  But before we move on to Lisa, we would be wrong if we didn’t acknowledge the mockery that Kim made of some poor designer’s creation!  She looked like one of the Mary Jane Girls!  Hustler wouldn’t even let her pose for them looking like that!  Lookin’ like Owen Wilson with a bad wig on. 

Lisa was wrong for a few things tonight.  One, why is she constantly lying to Kim telling her how beautiful she looks and shit?  No, she did not look good!  Keep it real with this bitch.  False encouragement like that is why this bitch thinks singing is her God given talent.  Two, laughing at Kim’s ‘NeNe is a drag queen’ comment was wrong.  Come on now Lisa.  If you’re so above the drama, then you shouldn’t have even been a part of that shit, let alone laughing at NeNe!  That was fucked up, period!  Now, Lisa has been a groupie, we mean married, for long enough to know that NFL contracts are not guaranteed.  WHY would you announce to everyone that your man was picked up by the Raiders before this nigga even stepped on the field at training camp?  She had to have known better than that!  We can’t imagine how fucking embarrassed Ed‘s ass must be now that everyone knows he got cut from the team!  Hollywood and Vine think that Lisa did that shit on purpose…sort of like a controlling man in a relationship!  Break down his self esteem so you can keep that man under your thumb!  And did ya’ll hear her say that she wanted to “prepare” a toast for her husband?  Ummm, boo, the time to ‘prepare’  a toast is before you leave the house.  Standing in front of a room full of people with a glass in your hand would be the time to ‘propose’ a toast!  Lastly, Lisa, you need to stop trying to make grown ass muthafuckas be friends!  Everybody can’t be friends – she’s lucky that it didn’t go down at dinner with all the kids there!  Stop trying to play peacemaker and mind your damn business!  

Again, Hollywood and Vine find it hard to say anything but positives about DeShawn.  We thought she and Eric were cute tonight; still respectful and in love.  If only she’d stop talking through her teeth.  We’re just sayin’…We’re very glad that they prepared for when his career and “conTRACK”  came to an end!

Last but certainly not least is our girl, NeNe!  We love this bitch!  Yeah, NeNe is ghetto and loud as fuck, but at least she is herself!  How can you not respect that?  She didn’t let her son act a fool (other than that Nike earring) when it came to getting his first car.  She sounded like a normal mom wanting her baby to be in something safe.  We’re glad she called Kim out at the dinner; she deserved it!  Gregg Leakes is one of the coolest old niggas on Earth!  Ed seemed to be really listening to his words of wisdom.  Not Eric’s ass LOL!  Eric was lookin’ like ‘is this old muthafucka for real’!! 

This season finale was anticlimactic because the real shit is going down next week during the reunion special!  Until then, let Hollywood and Vine know your thoughts on the finale.

In a minute…

Katt Williams Hospitalized for Mental Evaluation

Lord have mercy!  Katt Williams‘ crazy ass has been admitted to a hospital for mental evaluation because… well…..he’s fucking crazy!  Anybody that damn funny has to have at least one foot and a wrist on the lunatic side of the fence.  They say that geniuses are prone to mental instability.  Seriously though, Hollywood and Vine love Katt Williams and pray for the safe return of his sanity!

Here’s what The Item is reporting:

On Friday, he turned up in Sumter and allegedly underwent a mental health evaluation for a possible hospital commitment, at the urging of local family members. This was after run-ins with both city and county law enforcement.

The day’s bizarre events began with a call to police early in the morning.

Sumter Police Department Maj. Perry Herod said officers responded to a call in reference to suspicious behavior by Williams, 35, on Friday morning at the Mount Vernon Inn.

“And officers did talk with him, and then my understanding is he went on his own to Tuomey Hospital,” Herod said.

“Basically we just received a call in reference to a possible suspicious person, but that’s the extent of the dealings we had with him,” said Sumter Police Chief Patty Patterson.

Patterson said Williams was trying to acquire a room at the motel when hotel employees called at around 8:30 a.m. due to his strange attire: a bathrobe and a towel wrapped around his head. After determining no criminal activity was taking place, officers left.

“He asked for some directions, which he was given, and we departed,” she said.

Williams appeared on the doorsteps of attorney Garryl Deas’ office at 201 N. Main St. around 9 a.m. Friday, after his encounter with police, according to Deas. Deas said the actor came and solicited the attorney’s help, though he said he has not been hired to represent Williams.

During this brief conversation, Deas said Williams told him he felt the police were “attempting to violate his rights” and he was interested in retaining Deas’ representation. Williams also went on to talk about his entertainment career and revealed there were people who thought he was missing because he had failed to report to some engagements, Deas said. The actor said there were even rumors he had perished in a plane crash, which Deas said was obviously not true.

“He was alive and in color in my office this morning,” he said.

Deas said he talked with Williams until about 9:30 a.m. when the attorney had to leave for a court appearance. Williams asked if he could wait for Deas, and Deas told him he could, Deas said.

When Deas returned to his office at about 10:30 a.m., Williams was waiting for him. By this time, Deas said, Williams’ behavior had changed.

“His demeanor was a little troubled,” Deas said. He said the actor seemed “disoriented.”

About that time, family or close friends of Williams arrived to try to take him to the hospital for mental evaluation, Deas said. He said the family was seeking to have the actor committed. He was under the impression the family members were a teenaged daughter and the daughter’s mother. Williams, however, did not want to listen to their urging that he visit the hospital, Deas said.

His erratic behavior continued.

“He just said that he doesn’t trust anyone anymore,” Deas said. He said he thought “everyone has turned against him. He wasn’t really coherent.”

By that point, the actor was “speaking gibberish,” Deas said, though he declined to guess whether the actor was intoxicated.

Deas said the family was seeking an order from a probate judge to force him to be seen for a mental evaluation. Sumter Probate Judge Dale Atkinson, however, said neither he nor any of his staff issued a pickup order for anyone by the name of Katt Williams.

Sumter County Sheriff Anthony Dennis said, however, that an order was issued by the probate court and that because his department becomes involved with these type of matters, his office was called.

Dennis said the call came in around noon and deputies arrived to transport Williams to the hospital. Though he was vocal in his desire not to go, Williams was not physically aggressive.

In a minute…

Out & About…


Source: NBA.COM

One of Hollywood and Vine’s readers saw Travis Outlaw of the Portland Trailblazers kickin’ it at Impala Lounge in San Francisco last night with some of his teammates.  Ummmm, those niggas should have been in their hotel rooms resting for tonight’s game against Golden State.  That’s why these fools be playing like shit…too busy trying to kick it all the damn time!  But thanks for the tip nonetheless.

In a minute…

Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Preview

Hollywood and Vine don’t give a fuck if this shit is real or fake…it’s funny as hell!  The only thing wrong with this clip is that it’s too short.  NeNe and Kim‘s trashy ass go at it! 

Did ya’ll see how DeShawn sat as far away from those broads as possible.  After all, she has an image to uphold, just “AXE” her!  Sheree‘s fake ass sat there and watched while Kim’s old lookin’ ass tried to jump bad with NeNe.  And why is this bitch still wearing her engagement ring from Big Papa when she claims she broke up with him?  We wish these muthafuckas would get their stories straight!  Lisa is the only one who looked refreshed and well rested and she has 10 fucking jobs!

In a minute…

Surprise, Wanda Sykes Is Gay…NOT!

Wanda Sykes FINALLY came out of the closet during a rally in Las Vegas yesterday!  Um, who the fuck is surprised by this news?  Hollywood and Vine damn sure ain’t!  Hollywood loves Wanda, not Vine.  She’s just not funny, gay or straight.  As a matter of fact the funniest thing Vine has ever heard her say was “CaliforniER and NOvada” during her press conference.  What we really wanna know is if her wife is black.  Just sayin’…

Now everybody wants Queen Latifah to come out next.  Folks need to leave Latifah the fuck alone.  Ya’ll know Jeannette is just her personal trainer!!

In a minute…

Daily Wrap Up: 11.14.08

From time to time, Hollywood and Vine like to call out the dumb shit that we read on other blogs!  Today is one of those days.  According to one popular blog, NeNe Leakes from the Real Housewives of Atlanta and her husband, Gregg, are broke and have been evicted from their home in Duluth, GA. 

Are they fucking serious?  First of all, the court documents name ‘Greg Leakes’ as the Defendant.  NeNe’s husband is Gregg Leakes with two Gs, not one!  Secondly, the man works in real estate.  Do these fools actually believe that he would allow himself to get evicted from shit and fuck with his professional integrity in the process?  Third of all, they talk shit about the house being rented in the first place and not owned.

Let Hollywood and Vine play devil’s advocate for a minute.  If, in fact, they rented the house, who the fuck cares.  If we were doing a reality show where a bunch of nosey ass niggas like them were digging up documents and publishing our home address on the internet for the world to see, we would rent our shit, too!  Damn fools!

In a minute…

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