Well fuck it, let’s just go from start to finish! Did ya’ll see this shit? Why does Bravo cut and paste these shows so damn much? It annoys the shit out of Hollywood and Vine, but here it goes.
Some nobody ass white boy hosted the reunion and started off with Kim. They replayed her infamous K-A-T spelling bee with Dallas Austin. When asked what the fuck was wrong with her dumb ass, she said “I messed up. I’m human”. She said that like she made a mistake and fucked a married man. Oh wait a minute, she did! But spelling CAT wrong is just shameful. You learn how to spell CAT when you’re 3 years old by pointing to a picture of a cat and repeating what the toy tells you!
Sheree goes on to say that she felt it was important for herself and the other black women to represent for black women in America. She might have felt it was important, but this bitch damn sure did NOT do shit to make sistas look any better! Hell, Dwight Eubanks made sistas look better than Sheree’s triflin’ ass.
NeNe was ready for Sheree and Kim’s asses tonight! Them hoes ain’t want one! Moving on, some dumb white bitch wrote in asking if NeNe is truly an ex-stripper. Why waste a question on the fruit lady when she could have gone online to find the answer to that shit@@ Anyway, NeNe broke it down that she strips for Gregg’s old ass most nights! Gregg looks like he puts it DOWN. Hollywood doesn’t like old niggas, but Vine ain’t mad at NeNe! You better work bitch…
They showed a clip of Kim doing what she called singing…“there’s a tight rope/between me and you”. Hollywood and Vine wish the only tight rope near Kim would be tied around her vocal cords so we wouldn’t have to hear that shit ever again! Kim goes on to talk about how her album is being released the first week in January 2009. While we sat here laughing at her, it became clear that she really believes that her voice is a God given talent. Who did she blow to get a record deal? We’re just askin’…
Kim was way too comfortable telling NeNe to ‘back ya ass up’ and throwing around the word bitch! Ya’ll can’t tell us that Big Papa ain’t black! No white bitch would feel that comfortable calling a black woman out her name unless she felt like she got a nigga pass!
Kim said that it was her choice not to tell who Big Papa was, but when the show first started, she said point blank that Big Papa chose not to be revealed because he is a celebrity. Which one is it? This broad can’t even lie right.
Speaking of out and out lies, Kim told the worse muthafuckin lie that she could have thought of. First of all, what was with the white girl tears? As much as those bitches break out in tears for no reason, you’d think that they’ve learned to actually shed a tear. This broad didn’t say that she went to the doctor to have tests run. She said that a FRIEND of hers who’s a doctor (yeah right) said he was 90% sure that she had Cancer. BASED ON WHAT? Then it turned out not to be Cancer. Bitch threw that in there at the end like those side effect disclaimers on medication commercials!
Sheree had the NERVE to say that DeShawn’s auction was an embarrassment. Yeah it was, but it was no more of an embarrassment than her outfit that night. It was no more embarrassing than her muthafuckin ass having a fashion show with no fucking clothes! That’s why we don’t like Sheree’s ass…because she is always trying to play someone when her shit ain’t on point either!
One thing that Hollywood and Vine hate is when people say shit as fact that they know nothing about. Sheree’s dumb ass said that most designers don’t sketch or sew. Um, what the fuck designers does she know because Hollywood and Vine know quite a few real designers and they ALL sketch and sew! No, all of them don’t, but MOST? Come on now. This bitch just be runnin’ her damn mouth. That’s why her ass is single. Saying Michael Knight is JUST known in Atlanta. Is she crazy? Sheree’s other problem is that she is trying so fucking hard to act like she’s nonchalant about men and she’s not a gold digger, but all that is a front to try and attract yet another nigga with money! We see through you Sheree and niggas will, too!
Just a few more observations about the show:
– Why did Sheree’s birthday cake look like a bowling bag?
– We won’t even touch Sheree’s “HAVE YOU SAW HER” comment.
– Sheree said she tried to keep it “classy”. Doesn’t the use of the word classy show your lack of class?
– Kim, just a tip sweetie, when you tell muthafuckas how many nigga friends you have, then your ignorant ass is suspect, if not racist.
– Kim told NeNe “Fuck you”, but 15 minutes later said she was over her issues with NeNe. We think her wig is too tight.
– Lisa looked great! Her make up was young and fresh, she pulled herself together well for the reunion. But, she said that she thinks there’s a lot of water under the bridge with the other ladies so it would be hard to repair things. Boo, we’re starting to like you, but we have to let you know that water under the bridge is a good thing! It means you’ve moved on. Lisa must have learned some of her American phrases from her father, Stanley Wu, because her shit don’t be translating properly!
– Props to DeShawn Snow! DeShawn’s hair might have looked like hell, but the bitch’s attitude tonight was so on point! She rose above all the bullshit and kept it Christian and positive; we can’t be mad at that. Anyone trying to bring her down, she just let them know bitch, I’m not coming down to your level (Sheree)! Bravo bitch, bravo!
Last, but certainly not least, we have two words for ya’ll…DWIGHT EUBANKS! Was that muthafucka not fierce tonight? Nigga’s wet and wavy weave looked like it grew right out his scalp. We love this fool. He truly was the 6th housewife. He kept it DIVO tonight, but we fell out when he told Kim he would bring her into the 21st Century! Now Kim, you know you ain’t on point when the gays play you on national tv.
We hope we’re done with the Atlanta Housewives until their next season because we already see the OC women are going to wear us out all over again!
Did ya’ll see the reunion? Tell Hollywood and Vine what you think.
In a minute
Hollywood and Vine 