Dancing w/the Stars: S11 E2 (Live Blog)

As I’m watching all of the “stars” dancing at the opening, I want Jennifer Grey to stick to choreographed moves.  Now that we’re without the sex bomb Hoff, I can cringe a bit less tonight.

We’re starting off with Rick Fox and a Jive.  I LOVE this dance.  I hope he can pull it off.  He has a tendon issue.  Let’s see how this works out.  He’s actually a good partner.  She’s not draggin his ass all over the floor like Chelsie is doing w/Michael Bolton.  Cheryl’s ass thinks she’s slick putting all that ass slappin’ in the routine!  I see you Cheryl.  That was a lot of fun.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty good for a Week 2 jive!  See, the judges are sayin’ exactly what I’m saying.  Ya’ll think I’m crazy, but I speaketh the truth:)  Let’s see what all that means for scores…21!  Not bad.  (Commercial)

Up next, Florence Henderson.  I know she’s America’s mom, but she ain’t mine.  She bores me, but aight let’s see her Quick Step.  Hopefully it’s not more like a half time step!…….Ummmm.  Didn’t I just say the half time step?!  That’s what it was.  I’ve seen people mover faster running through a club when I fight breaks out!  That was terrible.  Okay, Bruno said she looked like Driving Miss Daisy LOL!  Carrie Ann liked it and thought it was elegant.  Oh stop it, Carrie Ann.  It’s okay to tell a 76-year-old that she sucked!  Len loved it, too!  They need to quit.  They know good and hell well the producers told them to keep her around!  Now for her scores…Wait a minute, why does Brooke Burke even have on a dress?  I think I actually saw her implants shift that damn dress is cut so low.  Flo got a 19!

Alright now Brandy!  Bring it bitch!  She and Maks are arguing in rehearsals.  WHY do these celebrities argue with their pro partners?  Listen to what they’re tryna teach you and MOVE ON, damn!  She better Jive her ass off after that.  Oh gawd, she did a little booty shaking mid dance.  Len is going to HATE that!  Oh geez, Sassy Sarah Palin is in the audience tonight.  I’m going to throw up!  Back to Brandy, she didn’t have much attack or sharpness tonight.  Carrie Ann didn’t like it!  Len thought she took steps backward from last week.  Yep, Len said that she didn’t dance with intent!  Bruno said she was only okay and she wasn’t sharp or precise enough!  Mmmm hmmm.  (Commercial)  21 for Brandy! (3406)

Michael Bolton better not come with another cringe worthy performance!  He’s doing a jive.  I am not expecting too much from him.  For real Chelsie?  You want him to crawl out of a dog house cuz you’re dancing to hound dog?  The pros KNOW that Len hates that shit.  Just get to the dancing already.  This is already fucking dumb!  I made it through like 3 people without cussing.  I tried.  Sorry folks, I can’t watch!  He O-fficially needs to be sent home tomorrow!  Do not vote for this man LOL!  I see why Nicolette Sheridan laid him off.  If he moves like that in bed, well never mind!  He better get lower than a 15 cuz that’s what he got last week and last week was better!  Len said that Michael’s jive needed a pooper scooper to finish it off LOL!  Hilarious.  Bruno told him that he shoulda kept the bone and gone back into the dog house LMFAO!  I’ll say this much, yes he’s a bad dancer, but Chelsie did him a disservice as his professional partner with that bullshit!  OH EMM GEE he got a TWELVE LMFAO!!  Bruno gave this mofo a THREE!  DAYUM!

Audrina and Tony are up next.  I think she’s gonna do a good Quick Step..an ACTUAL quick step, Flo!  Here go the tears.  She’s sad cuz she barely gets to see her latest loser boyfriend and it’s taking a toll on their “relationship”!  Spare me your sob story and dance!  Audrina did her thing tonight!  That was good.  I hope Carrie Ann gets on her about not pointing her toes like she did Brandy.  Aight, Bruno liked it although there were issues at time.  Carrie Ann I guess overlooked that b/c she only sang her praises.  Len said it was the best performance of the night…so far and he was right!    Wait, Tony said in rehearsal that if they don’t get three 8s he’s gonna wax his legs LOL!  Here’s one…two….and Bruno gave them a 7 LOL!

After seeing Jennifer Grey try to dance in the opening, I’m afraid about her jive.  Then again, Derek made it look like Brooke Burke could do any dance.  So she should be fine.  Oh wow, Jennifer found out she had cancer via a routine check up for the show.  She can move very to choreographed steps.  She’s getting it.  Losing a little gas midway through, but hanging on.  She did great, but Audrina was better!  With those extensions in her hair, she actually looks like the Jennifer Grey we all remember.  If I have to hear Brooke talk about how she remembers doing this dance and that dance one more time, I might turn this off!  Scores…24!  Hmmmmm.  I don’t know, but okay.

Oh gawd, Sarah Palin is sitting with Tom.  I know Bruno hates her ass.  For real, Bristol the Pistol?  I could vomit.  I wonder how all of the gay pros feel about her being there knowing that she thinks they are vile individuals!

Margaret Cho up next.  She said people were shunning her ass last week cuz they just knew she was going home.  So did I, but I was wrong.  Louis is tryna keep her from being funny on the dance floor.  Good!  This is a dance competition, not a comedy showcase.  If we wanna see that, we’ll buy tickets to see you live.  (commercial)  Okay.  Why does she look like someone just robbed her.  Uh oh, get it Marge.  Ooops, spoke too soon.  She’s a little wild and keeps forgetting the steps, BUT the steps she does remember she’s puttin her back into ’em lol.  Hey, at least she had fun out there.  I hope she enjoyed it cuz the judges are going to eat her up!  Len was kind.  He just said work on the kicks.  Bruno said that she was all over the place, too.  He also said that when she was relaxed she danced better.  Ya’ll are gonna start listening to Hollywood and me LOL!  Carrie Ann encouraged her fellow Asian American.  Score…18.  Louis doesn’t like the triple 6.  I’m with him, but I’ll leave that alone.

Kyle and Lacey are up next.  I really want Lacey to bring her dark hair back.  Why do white women always want to be blond?  Anyway, she put him on a fast food free diet while they’re on the show.  Yeah, cuz he’s really going to stick to that!  Quick Step, here we go…He looks like a shoe shine man.  Get it big boy.  He is doing IT.  Lacey came to play with this partner.  You can see it in how she’s even dancing!  Alright now.  Bring it judges!  Bring it!!  Bruno said that he needs more control.  BOOOOOOOOO!  Carrie Ann loved it!  Len said he was flat footed, his hold was bad, he had no style, BUT he liked it!  Len is such a grumpy ass old man.  We’ll have scores after the break.  Kurt Warner’s jive is coming up, too.  I don’t know how good that’s gonna be….22 for Kyle and Lacey!

Time for Kurt Warner and his good looking self to take the floor.  Uh oh, Anna is whipping him into shape in the studio.  I’m excited.  This might be good!!  Did he just moonwalk lol?  Oh shit, he’s getting into it now.  But she has to stop letting him add his own flare to their routines.  He was decent.  I enjoyed it, but let’s see what the judges say.  Len loved it.  Bruno too.  Straight to the scores…21!  Not bad  with his sexy self!

I already know that The Situation is not going to do well with the Quick Step.  This jackass fool talking about he wants to dance to hip hop or something that he likes!  Is he pigeon-toed?  Here we go.  Hmmm.  He’s trying really, REALLY hard, but it’s just not working.  Oh lordy, he’s messing up steps.  I think Flo actually moved a lot more quickly than he did.   HOWEVER, we cannot let him go home over something small like not being able to dance LOL!  If ya’ll can keep Kate Gosselin around for half the season, then The Situation can stick around for a bit, too!  18!!!!  I LOVE how Sitch acts like Karina is not even his partner.

Bristol I needed Mark to life my leg for me last week Palin is up next.  Oooh lucky Mark, she brought him to Alaska with her.  I’m sorry, I can’t even watch this shit.  I’ll just wait until they hit the stage.  Quick Step She’s doing the moves, but her face is not connecting with her body.  Her face says that she’s getting a pap smear and her body looks like it’s trying to do the quickstep.  WHY are people standing up for her?  She didn’t do shit.  SEE, Bruno said what I said!  I know that Kelly Osbourne is disgusted by Carrie Ann saying that Bristol reminds her of Kelly.  Negative!  OH COME ON LEN…8???  Get the fuck outta here!  She did not HARDLY dance an 8!

Until tomorrow…in a minute…Vine

Real Housewives of DC: 9/23 Live Blog

For the 15 of us still watching this group, here we go…starting off with Cat and Charles.  She’s finished her book and they’re boring me talking about it.  Evidently it was difficult for him to read the book cuz it discussed her past life, but he got over it.  I guess he did…by divorcing her ass!

Okay, so now Michaele is pretending that she used to be a Redskins cheerleader?  Um, sure she was.  She ain’t hit one move on time yet.  Who is she fooling?  She might have cheered from the sidelines…in the stands or from her living room, but actually on the field, I ain’t buyin’ it!  But at least we know she can count to 8 LOL!  I love the sistas in line with her who didn’t want their faces shown.

Over to my girl Stacie.  That woman is a saint for still tryna get to know Cat’s dumb ass.  I really want Cat and Stacie’s bff to have it OUT!  Oh, Lynda just showed up.  In private, Stacie said that she doesn’t know how she feels about gay marriage.  I know this is coming up again.  Mary said that Michaele is lyin about being a Redskins cheerleader!  Told ya.  It’s safe to bet that anything that allegedly anorexic woman says is a straight up lie!

Back at Stacie’s ice cream social, Mary is talking about how all her kids are back home.  Lolly quit her job.  Of course she did!  She doesn’t have a financial care in the world.  Oh shit, Erica just called out Cat about being mean and negative!  Okay, here we go!  I would slap Cat with that “bless your heart darlin'” bullshit.  Condescending ass bitch!  Lynda tried to check Erica, but she ain’t havin’ it.  Listen, I don’t agree with Lynda.  Erica was not off on her high horse, she was putting the shit out there to her FACE vs. behind her back like the rest of them do.  If Cat thinks that she has been nothing but kind is a crock of shit.  Cat feels like she’s being annihilated.  Is she crazy?  I’m sorry white women, but why do some of ya’ll play that passive aggressive bull?  Cat is so vicious with her words to every damn body, but when someone says something to her, she’s the victim??  Bitch please!  Her life ain’t that hard.  She was married with a husband who was a White House photographer for crying out loud.  She wrote a fucking book because she could and because she was bored!  Her life ain’t all that damn hard!  She gets to stay at home with her kids because she doesn’t have to work!  How many people would love to be able to do that?  Please!  She needs to quit playing the damn victim!!

Wait a minute, Lolly quit her job as an Executive Assistant?  Didn’t she have a job at the beginning of the show waiting tables?  So she done quit two jobs LOL?  Rich is the voice of reason here cuz Lolly’s ass needs to feel the burn!

So Erica, Paul Wharton, Lynda, Stacie, Mary and Stacie’s hubby are all in David Catania’s office for a meeting.  Oh wait, Cat’s ass is there too.  Oh joy!  She walked in and spoke to everyone BUT Erica.  She’s such a bitch.  Anyway, back to gay rights.  Oh shit, Mary just said that she wasn’t really trippin’ the issue doesn’t affect her LOL.  Paul Wharton and his bad hair did not appreciate that.  Ooooh shit, Jason just said that he thinks marriage should be between one man and one woman!!  Oh LAWD.  They done said it.  They done said it.  Paul Wharton’s hair is getting nappier by the second cuz of this conversation LOL!  Aight Paul said that he gets called a fucking fag (his words, not mine) if he walks down the wrong street in DC.  He said that marriage equality would take away the power those types of people would feel.  Let me break it down to you, Paul.  I’m black and have every right under the sun, just like everyone else, but I STILL get called a nigger!  I’m not saying he shouldn’t be able to get married, just that he shouldn’t be naive enough to think that gay marriage equality will stop that type of talk.

Erica, Mary and Stacie are all at dinner discussing the David Catania meeting.  Lynda said that God isn’t judging and that humans judge.  Well, I don’t know, but I hope to find out when I get to heaven.  Yes, I have the nerve to think I’m going to heaven.  Paul and Lynda are at cocktail hour together.  I know he’s gonna bash Stacie and Jason!  Mary was pissed with Erica cuz the children were there.  Lynda is saying that Cat is just off and has been since Aunt Francis’ house.  (They’re doing a back and forth so bear with me.)  Lynda is having sympathy toward her and Paul is blaming Charles for Cat’s behavior.  Are they for real?  It’s Charles’ fault?  She knew good and hell well what the fuck Charles’ life was like before she moved to DC from England.  Don’t cry about it now!

Over to the Swindlin’ Salahis, they’re tryna plot about keeping their “winery” and not having to file bankruptcy again.  Uh yeah, aight.  Next…

At Mary’s, she’s filling Lolly in about the David Catania meeting while making dinner.  She said she learned a lot and that she wants to take back her comment about the issue of gay marriage not affecting her.  Lolly is giving us an educational lesson on how wonderful gays are and what they do for a living@@

Cat is having drinks with Ted Gibson’s business partner, Jason.  She said he’s one of her rare friends in DC.  Yeah, cuz nobody else wants to deal with your mean old ass!  She’s making fun of all the women in her neighborhood who walk their dogs and clean up the dog shit!  What is wrong with her?  That’s what MoFos do when they have a dog.  THIS is why Erica said she’s always negative….BECAUSE SHE IS!

The Swindlers are meeting with Matt Carson to talk about the tell all book about the Salahi family dysfunction!  They are so low!  I mean, sooo low!  OMG Tareq is already talking about finding a publisher who will give them an advance LMAO!  They are broke as a joke!  When exactly was the last time that Michaele washed or combed her extensions?  Just askin…

Next week if the White House State Dinner episode…watch what happens.

…in a minute

Dancing w/the Stars S11: Week 1

Sorry that I’m late for the live west coast blog, but I’m here now.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are up 3rd with a cha cha.  Alright now, get it little chubb rock!  He’s doing his thing!  He moves well for a tela tubby.  Lacey might be in it to win it.  Of course he won’t win, but if he keeps dancing like that, he’ll go far!  My goodness he was good!  The judges loved him!

Okay, while we’re on commercial, Audrina Patridge was first to hit the floor.  She can be good and Tony is the right pro to get her there, but she’s gonna need to shake that monkey!  No wonder Justin Bobby never wanted to commit to her!  Just sayin…Kurt Warner was after her.  Anna is his partner.  I thought he looked promising.  Len hated him, natch, but the other two thought he was good.

Alright, we’re back for Kyle’s score.  23!  Up next, Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke!  Oh gawd, she’s like the Kim Kardashian of the damn ballroom.  She never lets a black athlete get by her hot ass!  “Wow, you’re tall!”  No shit Cheryl.  Damnit he is fine as hell!  He is gliding across the dance floor like he’s done this a million times!  You go boy.  This is so good!  Then they ruined it by showing his girlfriend in the audience at the end.  Oh well.  Anyway, Len is ready to have sex with him.  Bruno will be tryna hump him after he does a samba.  Carrie Ann is ready to propose!  So his scores should be great.  22 for them.  Not bad.

Margaret Cho’s ass almost fell walking down the stairs in the beginning, so this is gonna be a train wreck I’m sure.  All of those tats on her look a fucking mess!  Ewww.  Why is she looking like she’s doing a tango?  She looks hella mad.  DWTS couldn’t buy her a girdle?  Okay, I’m gonna stop.  Her dancing was horrible and throwing some alleged comedy into the routine did not help!  Len is gonna eat her ass up.  Wait a minute, Bruno said WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  LOL!  5s across the board.  15!  Yikes.

Brandy!  HERE WE GO…She might be okay if she’d stop thinking about how gorgeous he is.  Let’s see what she got.  YES, YOU GO BRANDY!  That’s what I’m talking about!  Top THAT!  Top THAT!  She’s so genuinely excited…like a child.  I thought her reaction to the judges praise was refreshing!  The judges gave her 23!  She’s got my vote.

Up next, and it pains me to even type her name, Bristol Palin.  Poor Mark!  She’s in the studio acting like she don’t know how to pop it.  Bitch you have a kid.  Stop frontin!  She has a size does matter t-shirt on for the love of Pete!  OMG LMFAO!  At the end Mark had to actually lift her leg for her LOL!  I mean, she was bad, but she was decent for someone who has never danced or performed in their life.  I’ll give her that!  I missed her score because she bores me.

Florence Henderson is up next!  If she’s anything like Cloris Leachman, I hope they send her ass home sooner than later.  She’s dancing with Corky Ballas.  I don’t get why throw the humor into the routines.  Just get out there and show you can or can’t dance!  That’s an 18 for the 76-year-old Mrs. Brady.

Michael Bolton’s sexy ass is up with his PYT Chelsie Hightower.  She better learn to speak Cat Daddy lol.  Again, let me stop.  Uh oh, this ain’t lookin too promising.  Well, umm err uh…it was his first night.  Damn 16!  Well, he did deserve it, but damn!

The Situation and his abs only had 5 days to train with Karina.  I hope this shit doesn’t make me laugh so hard that my neighbors get mad at me!  GTL in the ballroom!  He is such a clown, I love it LOL!  I don’t even know what to say after that!  I am going to vote for him as much as possible JUST to be sure he sticks around long enough!  That shit was hella funny.  I tried to watch my language, but I couldn’t help it.  Hilarious.  Aight, his score is 15!  A senior citizen did better than him!

Up next, Jennifer Grey aka Baby!  She’s dancing with Derek.  Shocker…NOT!  Poor baby.  She was taken back to being with Patrick Swayze and broke down:(  Very sad.  I hope she does this one for him.  WHAT!!  You betta dance girl!  She has it still.  Ain’t missed a step!  I am really enjoying her!  Awesome!!!  That was so good!  I’m predicting Brandy and Jennifer in the final two!  I love her even more for not giving Brooke Burke much in the interview lol.  She’s as annoying as Samantha.  24 for Baby!

Last up, The Hoff.  I know this is going to be some mess, but maybe Kym can pull this off.  He’s just too cheesetastic for words!  Lord help, he can’t even remember the steps let alone do them.  He needs a drink…or maybe he had some before rehearsal.  Here we go with a cha cha cha.  If ya’ll could see the look on my face right now as this man thrusts his hips dancing to “Sex bomb sex bomb, baby you can turn me on” with fire going off in the background…I don’t even know what the judges are going to say about this.  This was such a hot ass mess!  PLEASE DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS MAN!  He ain’t been sexy in 25 years.  WHY does he think that he’s still sexy?  WHY?  They gave him a 15.  If you ask me, that was generous!

Time for voting.  Who got your votes tonight?  I won’t be blogging live tomorrow for the first results show, but I will post before the night’s over.  Make sure to subscribe to the blog to get the live blogs for the entire season.

…in a minute

Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion: Part 2 (live blog)

A little late to the party due to Labor Day celebrating…here we go!

I turn on the tv to hear Teresa screaming like a banshee, mocking Danielle.  Jaque is hollerin’, Mama Line is the only one being quiet.  Do these women ever quit?  My question is if they know she’s such a liar and a phony, then WHY do they allow her lies to get them so fucking riled up?  That makes them look like they’re getting a lil sumthin out of all this drama!  Straight up.

Aight, Dirty D has walked off the stage!  They’re back from commercial and Andy is trying his best to sound authoritative! #FAIL  Teresa keeps talking that shit about Danielle not being “worth it” to hit her, but she can’t keep her ass on the couch!  Which one is it?

They’re reliving  the event at the Brownstone where Danielle and her cronies showed up looking like the 3 stooges!  And onto Dina and Danielle’s meeting!  They have Caroline on an inset and she looks like she’s prepared to put a hit out on Dirty D for how she talked to Dina.  Just sayin’.

Danielle said that nobody, including Dina, is innocent in her leaving the show.  She said that she also does not feel responsible for Dina not being on the show.  Mama ‘Line is sorry that Dina left the show, but she understands why she left…it’s no longer fun, blah blah blah!

Over to Jacque and her non-parenting ass, she said that she can’t do anything to discipline Ashley cuz she’s 19 years old.  Um, how about you start with not buying the spoiled brat new cars and shit!  You take stuff away from kids who act a fool, not add to their material shit!  No wonder she’s obnoxious.  I know I don’t usually talk about their kids, but I’m so sick of this!  If you have a child living under your roof, then hell yeah you can discipline their ass!  They don’t like it, get the fuck out and leave the keys to your brand new SUV on the kitchen table!!!  Ashley is the type of brat that ends up trying to put hands on her mother later on in life!  Jacque said that Ash has been like this since she was 2 years old!  THAT’S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!  Okay, Jaque said that they took her car away and gave it to a family member’s wife.  Well that’s a good start.

Dirty D denied having a “text” or “facebook war” with Ashley.  Jaque said that she saw the text messages, but D denied it.  You know good and hell well that Danielle was being messy with that little girl LOL!  Jaqueline trying to prove that Dirty D sent a tweet is ridiculous!  It’s Twitter.  She could have said absolutely anything to that man.  I’m with D on this one.  I don’t understand why people who hate her so much invest so much ENERGY into yelling and screaming at her!

Back to the Borgata…time to recap Kim D’s fashion show debacle!  I’d rather them talk about how the clothes she sells make a mockery out of the fashion industry, but that’s just me.  Isn’t it clear to see that Teresa was on the war path??  She intentionally came after Dirty D!  If you don’t want everyone to know that your shit is in foreclosure, then avoid Danielle and keep it pushin!  This is hilarious!  Danielle clearly took acting lessons from Danny!!  REALLY?  REALLY TERESA?  YOU DIDN’T START THAT FIGHT?  What planet is this woman living on???  She’s as crazy as people think Danielle is, please believe it!  How does some idiot in the midwest know that Danielle didn’t lose a lot of extensions that night?  Shut the hell up!  The way that white girls put their tracks in definitely takes out their hair when it’s taken out normally.  When someone ripping the shit out, I’m sure her shit was painful!  Then Jackie pulling Teresa’s hair as a demonstration and Teresa saying OW shows that the shit probably did hurt!  Jackasses!!  I’m sorry, but why should Dirty D dropped the charges against Ashley?  She was, in fact, assaulted!  They wouldn’t have dropped charges against her ass!

Teresa said that if someone paid her a hundred grand she’d get in a ring and box Danielle!  Of course she would…she needs the money LMAO!

And we’re back with Kim G!  That woman wants to be a regular on that show so bad!!  I’m sorry, I can’t even look at Jackie’s face during these clips!  Why did she do that to her lips?  She looks bad.  She looked perfectly fine before!  What is with these grown ass women acting like children…you can’t be friends with her if I’m not friends with her!  It’s ridiculous!  And here she is in her old prom dress!  Dirty D called her OUT!  Yep, Kim G DID use her so that she could be on tv.  Let’s call a spade a spade!  Kim G is one to talk about square tits w/those saggy ass lumps hanging from her chest!  Shit, she NEEDS to get some fake tits of her own.  Listen, Danielle is a hustla to her core!  She’s lookin at Kim G with disgust cuz she knows this broad is lying! 

Kim G, if you know that it wasn’t the Manzos fault that you got a shitty table at the fundraiser, then why bring it up??  CRAZY!  Aha!!  And now we see why Kim G. is bashing Teresa on Twitter LOL!  Teresa has some nerve asking Kim G her age and insinuating that she was too old for the pole dancing class w/her ass being a MOTHER and a WIFE acting like a fucking caged animal on national tv.  Puhlease honey!@  Kim G’s face is as tight as a virgin’s chucky!  That broad has had so much plastic surgery that her face isn’t moving!  If she hadn’t pointed her finger at Teresa, I wouldn’t have known that she was pissed LOL!

Poor Andy trying to find one thing to unite all of the women…their dislike of Kim G., but even Jackie fucked that up!  “I don’t miiiind her!” in that whiny ass voice.  Doesn’t she see what being friend to all the animals did to her season 1?  Will that woman ever learn?

Back to the show.  Time to discuss the Caroline vs. Danielle confrontation!  Look at Mama Line in those Louboutins!  I digress.  I’m sorry, Danielle is a liar, but Caroline saying that Dirty D continues to attack their kids, yet their kids don’t bother her!  Um for real!!??  Ashley isn’t one of your family members?  Ashley’s not a kid?  Okay, Caroline!!  Whatever you say!!  WHY does she ask Danielle a question, but won’t let her answer?  DAYUM!  Caroline is actually starting to bug me.  Danielle was actually making a good point, although I still think it was dumb as hell for her to bring armed guards to their meeting!

Now wait a minute, Andy just asked Jackie a direct question and she did not answer it!  Had the shoe been on the other foot, they would have attacked D for not directly answering the question!  Teresa, Jackie wouldn’t have pressed charges against Danielle’s daughter because her daughter would not have behaved that damn way!  Say what you want about Danielle, but her kids are well-behaved, polite little girls!  PERIOD DOT!

Ya’ll are gonna think I’m crazy, but I think that Jackie would still be friends with Dirty D if she weren’t part of the Manzo/Laurita crew!  You can hear it right now in her voice as she’s apologizing to Danielle.  It’s somewhat quivering!  I think that they truly miss being each others friend, as dysfunctional as it was!  Anyone else peep this?

Well, we all know that this speech by Jackie is a crock a shit based on the shit she’s twittering!  Danielle is apologizing about everything related to Ashley.  Jackie is buying it, but Caroline ain’t!  It’s written all over her face and body!

In closing, Danielle only wanted to address Jackie.  Dirty D also said that she will contact her attorneys and make peace for everyone.  I don’t believe her, but okay.  Caroline is sitting there wondering what the fuck is going on!!  Danielle got up to hug Jackie.  Jackie is trying to act annoyed cuz mama “line and Teresa are there, but I think she REALLY wanted to hug Danielle and REALLY make peace with her.  Like make up with her!  All the while Caroline and Teresa are laughing and rolling their eyes.

Ooops, not over!  Caroline called it the biggest crock of shit she’s ever seen in her life.  She said that Danielle’s outreach is phony!  YEP!  Danielle is right.  She told Caroline that the minute Jackie began to show emotion she was subliminally telling her not to be weak and not fall for it and that jackie needed to be able to think and speak for herself!  C’mon on now.  You know that ain’t gonna happen as long as she’s part of their “family”!

Until next season…