Real Housewives of NY: Season 4 Premiere (Recap)

The new season started off with Ramona, Alex and their husbands drinking Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio.  Yep, she’s hawkin wine now, in case you missed that development in the off-season.  Jill arrived stuffed into her dress like Wendy Williams’ feet stuffed into her dancing shoes.  She claimed to have grown and been humbled from last year.  Yeah right!  I love that Alex ain’t taking shit from Jill this year.  Alex invited all the girls to march in their wedding gowns for marriage equality.  Jill made a joke out of it with Ramona’s sidekick, Joni!  She seems just as rude as ever to me.

Jill said that a “real friend” sticks by their friend even through a tough time, which is why she’s still tight with Kelly’s crazy ass.  Bullshit.  Jill is still friends with her cuz she ain’t making the same mistake twice.  She won’t risk one of her RHONY co-stars becoming a megastar and she not be there to reap the benefits.  The two of them hung out trash talking Alex.  Of course she brought up Bethenny.  She said Bethenny threw her away, that she had no idea Bethenny was planning to have this major career and felt used.  She whined that once Bethenny got married, she had no more room for Jill.  Let’s forget about the fact that they had already fallen out looooong before Bethenny said I do!  But why let facts get in the way of Jill Zarin’s ego?  Ramona called it the way it ACTUALLY is.  “Bethenny didn’t dump Jill as a friend, she did it to herself.”  Of course she did, but Jill’s so damn self involved that she couldn’t see the error of her ways if you put them in a diamond.

Over to Simex, Simon left the hotel to start a social media company.  So he and Alex are both working at home, sharing an office.  Alex signed w/a modeling agency.  She’s only 36 years old.  I have to say, I am shocked as shit that she’s not over 40.  Her body is bangin’, but she looks much older than 36.  Kelly made a point of saying that being a model simply means that you are photogenic, not pretty.  She should know.  She ain’t neva been pretty EVA and she was a model!

Sassy Sonja and Ramona hit an art benefit.  Sonja looked good, besides that faulty eye makeup.  How do they have all this money and can’t get their face beat before filming?  Okay, so Cindy, the hostess, is the newest “housewife”.  She struck me as another Countess Lu, hanging out slamming shots Downtown, trying to regain her youth.  She seems to be a successful businesswoman who works with her brother.  She has a 10 month old baby, but no man.  She went through IVF and it looks like she has 2, but I couldn’t tell. WOW, this bitch Cindy just have her twins delivered to the art benefit like pizza!  Who does that?

Jill and Bobby Vegas arrived.  I still love him!  Lulu and Crazy Ass Kelly made an entrance.  Then Alex and Simon brought up the rear, no pun intended.  Cindy’s involvement in the organization that will benefit from the proceeds came from them (didn’t catch the name) helping her when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.  Lord have mercy!  God bless her heart for giving back to them!  Here goes Jill, all up in Cindy’s business.  She’s so damn nosey!

God bless Ramona’s assistant.  I’m sure she’s paid well, but ain’t enough money in the world to get me to deal with all that crazy on a daily basis.  She interviewed for a second assistant.  WHY did Bravo exploit that black girl with a bad, blond wig and bright ass red lipstick?  They knew good and well Ramona wasn’t going to hire her black ass, but back to the interviews.  It seemed hella rude that Ramona was critiquing all of the candidates, but in a twisted sort of way, I appreciate what she did.  Those young girls looked a hot ass mess and should be thankful Ramona took a minute to give them pointers.  Trust, others would have said BYE and they’d still be tryna figure out what went wrong.

Over to the cougars den, Lu and Sonja went on a double dinner date with their tadpoles at Orsay.  Brian is the name of Sonja’s piece.  These old, nasty, horny broads and their boy toys making sexual jokes about walking through bushes and gardens turned my stomach.  Honestly, I thought both women made fools out of themselves at that dinner table.  I don’t know if Sonja’s eyesight is leaving her, but that man is NOT hot and if every woman in New York wants him, I’m glad I live in Cali.

Out at Ramona’s Hamptons home, Simex were her and Mario’s guests.  They were all in town for a wedding so Ramona invited them to stay at their home.  Jill left a message for Alex that she wasn’t coming to the marriage equality march, but she’s on the committee LOL!  Alex put her on blast.  She stood there while Alex invited all the ladies to the march as if she’d never heard of the event LMAO!  Just when I thought she was as low as possible, she goes lower.

Now for the wedding.  Jill was all stressed because her spanx were visible.  Talk about dramatic.  I think Bobby tunes her out at this point.  She had no clue that Simex were invited.  She shit her pants, but put on a fake happy face.  Alex and Ramona missed the memo that only the bride is supposed to wear white to a wedding.  Again I ask, who does that?  Jill kept mentioning how much she’s changed…yep, for the worse!

After the wedding, Ramona was talking badly about Cindy’s brother, Howie, and he overheard LMAO!  Ooops.  I’m thinking those two ladies won’t be getting along any time soon.

Jill pulled a few sidekicks together in a corner of the reception to bitch about Alex and spin the story that she was only on the “Honorary” committee for the march.  There was a baby confrontation between Alex and Jill, but I forgot what it was about when Ramona’s tacky ass put her finger on the cake to taste the icing and knocked off a flower…made of icing.  These people have no fucking manners…says the woman with the potty mouth!

Judging by the previews for the season, there won’t be a dull moment.  What did you think of the premiere?  Worth the wait?

…Vine…in a minute

Nene & Al Reynolds, Girlfriends?

Word is that Nene Leakes [Real Housewives of Atlanta and Celebrity Apprentice] has sought out a friendship with Star Jones’ ex-husband, Al Reynolds.  She’s allegedly “spending time with Jones’ ex” in a ridiculous attempt to get back at Star.

Really Nene?  If this is true, you HAVE turned into the out of control monster we all started to see last season on RHOA.  If you dislike Star that much, the best way to get back at her is to pay her no mind.  Paying her no mind does not include running around tryna befriend her openly gay [allegedly] closeted ex-husband, GayAl Reynolds.  You’re making a fool out of yourself!  Click here to see a pic!

On another note, how the hell did Star not see what this man was all about from jump?

Revenge or true colors shining through?  What do you think?

…Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of DC: 9/23 Live Blog

For the 15 of us still watching this group, here we go…starting off with Cat and Charles.  She’s finished her book and they’re boring me talking about it.  Evidently it was difficult for him to read the book cuz it discussed her past life, but he got over it.  I guess he did…by divorcing her ass!

Okay, so now Michaele is pretending that she used to be a Redskins cheerleader?  Um, sure she was.  She ain’t hit one move on time yet.  Who is she fooling?  She might have cheered from the sidelines…in the stands or from her living room, but actually on the field, I ain’t buyin’ it!  But at least we know she can count to 8 LOL!  I love the sistas in line with her who didn’t want their faces shown.

Over to my girl Stacie.  That woman is a saint for still tryna get to know Cat’s dumb ass.  I really want Cat and Stacie’s bff to have it OUT!  Oh, Lynda just showed up.  In private, Stacie said that she doesn’t know how she feels about gay marriage.  I know this is coming up again.  Mary said that Michaele is lyin about being a Redskins cheerleader!  Told ya.  It’s safe to bet that anything that allegedly anorexic woman says is a straight up lie!

Back at Stacie’s ice cream social, Mary is talking about how all her kids are back home.  Lolly quit her job.  Of course she did!  She doesn’t have a financial care in the world.  Oh shit, Erica just called out Cat about being mean and negative!  Okay, here we go!  I would slap Cat with that “bless your heart darlin'” bullshit.  Condescending ass bitch!  Lynda tried to check Erica, but she ain’t havin’ it.  Listen, I don’t agree with Lynda.  Erica was not off on her high horse, she was putting the shit out there to her FACE vs. behind her back like the rest of them do.  If Cat thinks that she has been nothing but kind is a crock of shit.  Cat feels like she’s being annihilated.  Is she crazy?  I’m sorry white women, but why do some of ya’ll play that passive aggressive bull?  Cat is so vicious with her words to every damn body, but when someone says something to her, she’s the victim??  Bitch please!  Her life ain’t that hard.  She was married with a husband who was a White House photographer for crying out loud.  She wrote a fucking book because she could and because she was bored!  Her life ain’t all that damn hard!  She gets to stay at home with her kids because she doesn’t have to work!  How many people would love to be able to do that?  Please!  She needs to quit playing the damn victim!!

Wait a minute, Lolly quit her job as an Executive Assistant?  Didn’t she have a job at the beginning of the show waiting tables?  So she done quit two jobs LOL?  Rich is the voice of reason here cuz Lolly’s ass needs to feel the burn!

So Erica, Paul Wharton, Lynda, Stacie, Mary and Stacie’s hubby are all in David Catania’s office for a meeting.  Oh wait, Cat’s ass is there too.  Oh joy!  She walked in and spoke to everyone BUT Erica.  She’s such a bitch.  Anyway, back to gay rights.  Oh shit, Mary just said that she wasn’t really trippin’ the issue doesn’t affect her LOL.  Paul Wharton and his bad hair did not appreciate that.  Ooooh shit, Jason just said that he thinks marriage should be between one man and one woman!!  Oh LAWD.  They done said it.  They done said it.  Paul Wharton’s hair is getting nappier by the second cuz of this conversation LOL!  Aight Paul said that he gets called a fucking fag (his words, not mine) if he walks down the wrong street in DC.  He said that marriage equality would take away the power those types of people would feel.  Let me break it down to you, Paul.  I’m black and have every right under the sun, just like everyone else, but I STILL get called a nigger!  I’m not saying he shouldn’t be able to get married, just that he shouldn’t be naive enough to think that gay marriage equality will stop that type of talk.

Erica, Mary and Stacie are all at dinner discussing the David Catania meeting.  Lynda said that God isn’t judging and that humans judge.  Well, I don’t know, but I hope to find out when I get to heaven.  Yes, I have the nerve to think I’m going to heaven.  Paul and Lynda are at cocktail hour together.  I know he’s gonna bash Stacie and Jason!  Mary was pissed with Erica cuz the children were there.  Lynda is saying that Cat is just off and has been since Aunt Francis’ house.  (They’re doing a back and forth so bear with me.)  Lynda is having sympathy toward her and Paul is blaming Charles for Cat’s behavior.  Are they for real?  It’s Charles’ fault?  She knew good and hell well what the fuck Charles’ life was like before she moved to DC from England.  Don’t cry about it now!

Over to the Swindlin’ Salahis, they’re tryna plot about keeping their “winery” and not having to file bankruptcy again.  Uh yeah, aight.  Next…

At Mary’s, she’s filling Lolly in about the David Catania meeting while making dinner.  She said she learned a lot and that she wants to take back her comment about the issue of gay marriage not affecting her.  Lolly is giving us an educational lesson on how wonderful gays are and what they do for a living@@

Cat is having drinks with Ted Gibson’s business partner, Jason.  She said he’s one of her rare friends in DC.  Yeah, cuz nobody else wants to deal with your mean old ass!  She’s making fun of all the women in her neighborhood who walk their dogs and clean up the dog shit!  What is wrong with her?  That’s what MoFos do when they have a dog.  THIS is why Erica said she’s always negative….BECAUSE SHE IS!

The Swindlers are meeting with Matt Carson to talk about the tell all book about the Salahi family dysfunction!  They are so low!  I mean, sooo low!  OMG Tareq is already talking about finding a publisher who will give them an advance LMAO!  They are broke as a joke!  When exactly was the last time that Michaele washed or combed her extensions?  Just askin…

Next week if the White House State Dinner episode…watch what happens.

…in a minute

Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion: Part 2 (live blog)

A little late to the party due to Labor Day celebrating…here we go!

I turn on the tv to hear Teresa screaming like a banshee, mocking Danielle.  Jaque is hollerin’, Mama Line is the only one being quiet.  Do these women ever quit?  My question is if they know she’s such a liar and a phony, then WHY do they allow her lies to get them so fucking riled up?  That makes them look like they’re getting a lil sumthin out of all this drama!  Straight up.

Aight, Dirty D has walked off the stage!  They’re back from commercial and Andy is trying his best to sound authoritative! #FAIL  Teresa keeps talking that shit about Danielle not being “worth it” to hit her, but she can’t keep her ass on the couch!  Which one is it?

They’re reliving  the event at the Brownstone where Danielle and her cronies showed up looking like the 3 stooges!  And onto Dina and Danielle’s meeting!  They have Caroline on an inset and she looks like she’s prepared to put a hit out on Dirty D for how she talked to Dina.  Just sayin’.

Danielle said that nobody, including Dina, is innocent in her leaving the show.  She said that she also does not feel responsible for Dina not being on the show.  Mama ‘Line is sorry that Dina left the show, but she understands why she left…it’s no longer fun, blah blah blah!

Over to Jacque and her non-parenting ass, she said that she can’t do anything to discipline Ashley cuz she’s 19 years old.  Um, how about you start with not buying the spoiled brat new cars and shit!  You take stuff away from kids who act a fool, not add to their material shit!  No wonder she’s obnoxious.  I know I don’t usually talk about their kids, but I’m so sick of this!  If you have a child living under your roof, then hell yeah you can discipline their ass!  They don’t like it, get the fuck out and leave the keys to your brand new SUV on the kitchen table!!!  Ashley is the type of brat that ends up trying to put hands on her mother later on in life!  Jacque said that Ash has been like this since she was 2 years old!  THAT’S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!  Okay, Jaque said that they took her car away and gave it to a family member’s wife.  Well that’s a good start.

Dirty D denied having a “text” or “facebook war” with Ashley.  Jaque said that she saw the text messages, but D denied it.  You know good and hell well that Danielle was being messy with that little girl LOL!  Jaqueline trying to prove that Dirty D sent a tweet is ridiculous!  It’s Twitter.  She could have said absolutely anything to that man.  I’m with D on this one.  I don’t understand why people who hate her so much invest so much ENERGY into yelling and screaming at her!

Back to the Borgata…time to recap Kim D’s fashion show debacle!  I’d rather them talk about how the clothes she sells make a mockery out of the fashion industry, but that’s just me.  Isn’t it clear to see that Teresa was on the war path??  She intentionally came after Dirty D!  If you don’t want everyone to know that your shit is in foreclosure, then avoid Danielle and keep it pushin!  This is hilarious!  Danielle clearly took acting lessons from Danny!!  REALLY?  REALLY TERESA?  YOU DIDN’T START THAT FIGHT?  What planet is this woman living on???  She’s as crazy as people think Danielle is, please believe it!  How does some idiot in the midwest know that Danielle didn’t lose a lot of extensions that night?  Shut the hell up!  The way that white girls put their tracks in definitely takes out their hair when it’s taken out normally.  When someone ripping the shit out, I’m sure her shit was painful!  Then Jackie pulling Teresa’s hair as a demonstration and Teresa saying OW shows that the shit probably did hurt!  Jackasses!!  I’m sorry, but why should Dirty D dropped the charges against Ashley?  She was, in fact, assaulted!  They wouldn’t have dropped charges against her ass!

Teresa said that if someone paid her a hundred grand she’d get in a ring and box Danielle!  Of course she would…she needs the money LMAO!

And we’re back with Kim G!  That woman wants to be a regular on that show so bad!!  I’m sorry, I can’t even look at Jackie’s face during these clips!  Why did she do that to her lips?  She looks bad.  She looked perfectly fine before!  What is with these grown ass women acting like children…you can’t be friends with her if I’m not friends with her!  It’s ridiculous!  And here she is in her old prom dress!  Dirty D called her OUT!  Yep, Kim G DID use her so that she could be on tv.  Let’s call a spade a spade!  Kim G is one to talk about square tits w/those saggy ass lumps hanging from her chest!  Shit, she NEEDS to get some fake tits of her own.  Listen, Danielle is a hustla to her core!  She’s lookin at Kim G with disgust cuz she knows this broad is lying! 

Kim G, if you know that it wasn’t the Manzos fault that you got a shitty table at the fundraiser, then why bring it up??  CRAZY!  Aha!!  And now we see why Kim G. is bashing Teresa on Twitter LOL!  Teresa has some nerve asking Kim G her age and insinuating that she was too old for the pole dancing class w/her ass being a MOTHER and a WIFE acting like a fucking caged animal on national tv.  Puhlease honey!@  Kim G’s face is as tight as a virgin’s chucky!  That broad has had so much plastic surgery that her face isn’t moving!  If she hadn’t pointed her finger at Teresa, I wouldn’t have known that she was pissed LOL!

Poor Andy trying to find one thing to unite all of the women…their dislike of Kim G., but even Jackie fucked that up!  “I don’t miiiind her!” in that whiny ass voice.  Doesn’t she see what being friend to all the animals did to her season 1?  Will that woman ever learn?

Back to the show.  Time to discuss the Caroline vs. Danielle confrontation!  Look at Mama Line in those Louboutins!  I digress.  I’m sorry, Danielle is a liar, but Caroline saying that Dirty D continues to attack their kids, yet their kids don’t bother her!  Um for real!!??  Ashley isn’t one of your family members?  Ashley’s not a kid?  Okay, Caroline!!  Whatever you say!!  WHY does she ask Danielle a question, but won’t let her answer?  DAYUM!  Caroline is actually starting to bug me.  Danielle was actually making a good point, although I still think it was dumb as hell for her to bring armed guards to their meeting!

Now wait a minute, Andy just asked Jackie a direct question and she did not answer it!  Had the shoe been on the other foot, they would have attacked D for not directly answering the question!  Teresa, Jackie wouldn’t have pressed charges against Danielle’s daughter because her daughter would not have behaved that damn way!  Say what you want about Danielle, but her kids are well-behaved, polite little girls!  PERIOD DOT!

Ya’ll are gonna think I’m crazy, but I think that Jackie would still be friends with Dirty D if she weren’t part of the Manzo/Laurita crew!  You can hear it right now in her voice as she’s apologizing to Danielle.  It’s somewhat quivering!  I think that they truly miss being each others friend, as dysfunctional as it was!  Anyone else peep this?

Well, we all know that this speech by Jackie is a crock a shit based on the shit she’s twittering!  Danielle is apologizing about everything related to Ashley.  Jackie is buying it, but Caroline ain’t!  It’s written all over her face and body!

In closing, Danielle only wanted to address Jackie.  Dirty D also said that she will contact her attorneys and make peace for everyone.  I don’t believe her, but okay.  Caroline is sitting there wondering what the fuck is going on!!  Danielle got up to hug Jackie.  Jackie is trying to act annoyed cuz mama “line and Teresa are there, but I think she REALLY wanted to hug Danielle and REALLY make peace with her.  Like make up with her!  All the while Caroline and Teresa are laughing and rolling their eyes.

Ooops, not over!  Caroline called it the biggest crock of shit she’s ever seen in her life.  She said that Danielle’s outreach is phony!  YEP!  Danielle is right.  She told Caroline that the minute Jackie began to show emotion she was subliminally telling her not to be weak and not fall for it and that jackie needed to be able to think and speak for herself!  C’mon on now.  You know that ain’t gonna happen as long as she’s part of their “family”!

Until next season…

Real Housewives of NJ: Finale Part 1 (Live Blog)

I have been waiting for this since the beginning of the season!  Here we go.

Right off the bat, this is why I’m not a fan of Theresa’s!  The show hasn’t been on for 5 minutes and she’s already on the attack toward Dirty Danielle.  When they attack her like that and she hasn’t even opened her mouth, it actually makes Dirty Danielle LOOK like the damn victim!  They need to come off it.

Again, she’s damned if she do, damned if she don’t.  Jacqueline and them told Danielle to stop calling them, so she did.  Then they get mad.  Then she called to invite them to Christine’s celebration and they got together and laughed about her wondering why the fuck she called them in the first place.  Make up your damn minds!

Okay let me get this straight…Theresa can bring up Danielle and HER children, how she fucked in her home and Danielle’s kids overheard and how horrible of a mother she is, BUT Danielle can’t bring up Theresa allegedly not acknowledging her own nephew?  She is kidding right?  What a fucking joke!  Don’t get me wrong, I think Danielle is off the hook, but this type of shit plays right into her hands and her sob story!

Alright, Caroline is talking about Albie’s learning disability.  Right now he’s in the application process for a new law school.  She said things aren’t looking too good right now, but who knows!  Things could change.

Danielle said she’s no stage mom.  Hmmph, has she watched the episode where Christine was doing her first photo shoot?  Now we get to see Theresa’s kids in action.  I will leave that alone b/c I said I wouldn’t talk about those little children…Danielle, of course you were comparing Theresa’s kids to dogs!  Dirty Danielle thinks that she must be doing something right b/c her kids have turned out okay.  She’s wrong.  Her kids being halfway decent children is nothing but God looking out for them b/c a fool is raising those poor kids!  They need to be with their father and that school marm that he married!

Finally, we get to hear about Theresa and the foreclosure.  She said that her home is not in foreclosure!  Hmmm!  Sounds like a lie to me, but okay let’s hear her out.  She said that they did file for bankruptcy but many of the details are incorrect.  I hold Joe responsible for this fiasco!  As the man of the house, he should have put the smack down on her for that ridiculous ass spending!  As a woman, Theresa should not have kept herself in the dark about the financial situation in their home!  She claims that she hasn’t seen the website that listed the items for sale in her home.  She is in SUCH denial.  Hell yeah Joe’s accident was a result of him being stressed about money!  Danielle is squirming in her seat b/c she knows bullshit when she hears it.  Her ass has been hustlin’ people since childhood.  She should know bullshit when she hears it.

Dirty D thinks that she has “moments” of being a trouble maker.  Yeah, every moment of every day!  OMG look at her at stripper class with that flat ass LOL!  It’s amazing that she made a dolla in her stripper days with that flat backside.  Wait a minute, Danny was married?  Who marries a person like that?  Oh wait, he filed for divorce after the first two times he taped with Danielle.  Is it not obvious that she was fucking that man?  If Dirty D had a man around, she would have flaunted his ass all around those cameras like she did Theresa and Joe’s friend, Steve!  With that sexual appetite she’s always bragging about, she had to have someone to help get her rocks off LMAO!  They got down.  Please believe it.

So she’s a lesbian now!  And I’m a white woman!  GTFOH Danielle.  She would date a muppet if it would get her some press.

Okay, she has two sex tapes.  One was unreleased and allegedly taped by her “ex” fuck buddy, Steve.  The second sex tape is available for purchase online.  She said that she didn’t release it and does not get paid from it!  Why does she have all of those damn lawyers working on gag orders and shit for Dina, a woman who is not even on the show anymore, but won’t pay her attorneys to get her a piece of the money from a sex tape that she’s in?  Is she that stupid?  Don’t answer that…Jacqueline saw the tape and said that it was filmed purposely.  She said their faces are not viewable and that it was a bad acting porn.  Oxymoron much!

There goes Theresa again saying that Danielle is a bad mom for shooting the sex tape when she has two young kids.  That’s my point!  I wish Danielle would really haul off and tell her a thing or two about herself!  I’m sick of her ass with these lopsided rules!

Wait a minute, I’m hearing that Theresa’s nephew is gay!  Maybe that’s why she didn’t acknowledge him.  I need to find out more about this.  Now this is interesting.  I wish Danielle would have said some more shit about it with the cameras rolling.

Okay, back to the show.  They’re replaying the night Danielle busted into the Brownstone for the charity event that she didn’t buy a ticket for.  So much for charity.  Danny and that other clown are no more gangstas than Hollywood and me!  The father of the child is upset with Danielle b/c she never gave a dolla, even till this day.  Even Caroline called her on her shit saying that she’s lying.  Dirty Danielle said that she donated $6000 that she collected from other people.  Mama ‘Line wasn’t having it.  She said that won’t have Danielle fucking around with her son’s safety by bringing Danny into the Brownstone!

UGH, we have to wait another week for the conclusion and it’s going to be explosive!  I’ll be back for that.  BTW I think Dirty Danielle is done with the show for good.  She shouldn’t be b/c her broke ass needs the money, but I’m sure Kim G will be the replacement trouble maker!

In a minute…

Real Housewives of NY: 05/27/10

So producers sent Kelly home to seek medical treatment for her mental issues Kelly decided to go home in the middle of the night!  Thank God for small favors.  I don’t know if she’s mentally ill or on drugs, but last week’s breakdown was not a good look and frankly boring!  How long have we known this broad is nuts?!

I actually like Bethenny, Sonja, Ramona and Alex as a girlfriends unit!  Everyone is chillin’ out, relaxing and in walks Jill Zarin (with that sexy ass Bobby Vegas)…bull dozing through the house like politicians bull dozing over N.W.A. albums in the 80s.  How many times did she have to yell SURPRISE?  They heard you the first time and tried to ignore you!  What gets me is Jill’s inability to let shit happen without her being part of it.  Ya’ll know how much I loved Jill, but I’m not liking this season’s Jill.  How the hell do you tell someone you ain’t comin’ to their “renewal” and act like the whole trip is beneath you, then show up raving about how your private jet brought you after all?  Had she come in there will a bit more humility and said hey, I know I wasn’t supposed to come and I know things are strained with me and Alex and Bethenny, but I’ve come with an open heart to try and mend fences so that we can celebrate Ramona’s renewal, I think they woulda had a different attitude toward her.  But true to Jill Zarin form, she made it about her and SHE somehow became the victim?  No honey, that act don’t work no more!  And every damn time someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean they aren’t your friend!  Give that shit up already. 

Now I don’t know why the hell Alex was shaking like a leaf, but I got her point.  Nobody leaves their husband and kids to deal with bullshit!  Kelly was enough drama; the bitch wanted one fucking day of peace!  The irony is that when Bethenny came to Jill Zarin with a humble attitude and an open heart, she shunned Bethenny…but that was okay cuz she wasn’t on the receiving end.  Hypocrite!  Roller Girl was right, Jill Zarin maneuvered all season to be “on top” and now that everyone gets the message that she ain’t their friend, she mad@@  And in the midst of it all, Ramona’s ass manages to choke GNR!!!

Alex is full of shit talkin’ about it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean!  Only people fucking dudes with small dicks say bullshit like that! 

How has Ramona been married 17 years and supposedly has this fabulous sex life with Mario who probably visualizes Jill Zarin while tappin’ that, but has never been handcuffed?  She better get with it.

I am shocked as shit that Countess Lu told Jill that she understood why they asked her to leave!  Okay, here comes Kelly’s crazy ass!  She’s so fucking dramatic.  Really?  Were you shell shocked?  Give me a break!  How does she hate gossiping, but was sitting there GOSSIPING?  Kelly couldn’t talk to someone like a human being if she tried!  What conversation is she remembering?  I saw the episode and nobody was even being serious about the one night stand thing.  They were playin’ with her ass.  Get a fucking sense of humor crazy person.  So now that Kelly doesn’t have any friends who’ve hired Bethenny to “cook” for them, she’s a make believe chef?  Don’t they see how fucking crazy this woman is?  Jelly Bean Bensimon needs medication.

Over to Sonja’s party, all this double cheek kissing is nauseating!  Wait a minute, Countess Lu was the one who said “Poison Island” but she just put it on Kelly LOL!  These are some cold blooded broads.  Basically, they told it like it was.  If Lu doesn’t believe it, that’s her dumb ass fault.  Don’t you love how she put her beef with Bethenny and Alex aside to gossip!

Jill’s holiday party is finally here.  She’s missing Bethenny, as she should!  They had a very special, real friendship and I think that Jill single-handedly brought the situation to the point of no return.  Now that’s the attitude and tone she shoulda had when she went to St. John, but whateva.  I’m glad Roller Girl took the high road and said yes, BUT I don’t think their friendship will ever be restored.  OMG, OMG Jill just ate it!  OMG!  I’m glad she was able to laugh at herself. 

WHY does Kelly insist on having a conversation about some bullshit when they’re supposed to be supporting Jill and her event?  Then she had the NERVE to ask the event planner to watch her kids…likes she’s a fucking babysitter@@  If she needed to talk to Ramona so damn badly, why didn’t she contact her prior to now?  Cuz she’s a nut job.  She’s like a dog with a bone.  She wasn’t think one thing about Ramona until she was thrown in front of her.

Uh huh, see, Jill Zarin is starting to see the error of her ways.  She sees that she’s about to be the odd woman out and she’s trying to fix it.  I’ll give her props for that.  It takes a lot to say you’re wrong.  Oh gawd, now that Jill has made up with Ramona, Lu can hug her, too!  She’s as phony as that overproduced bad song she recorded!

Next week is the finale then we’re onto Bethenny’s show! 

…in a minute

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Real Housewives of OC: S5 Episode 2

OMG they have carried this dumbass argument into another episode??  Drag much, Bravo?!  Tacky Tamra, YOU are the one who started the fight talkin’ about “bring it on”, but now you are 41 years old and have 4 kids!  Wait a minute, wasn’t Vicki the one up Gretchen’s ass last season talkin about she needed to have Jeff leave her insurance cuz her full-time job was loving and taking care of him?  Does she think we forgot about that?  Now all of a sudden she took the old man for a ride?  I’d whoop Tamra’s ass, but Gretchen got the last laugh so she doesn’t care!  I hope Lynne sees who her real friends are…the two that stayed there with her!

Why is Lynne laughing about her teenage daughter asking to have “one beer” for “relaxation”?  That is far from funny.  In fact, it sounds like another cry for help that Lynne is laughing to loud to hear@@  Everyone sees it but her. 

Slade needs to put that little penis away and Lynne needs to cover them old ass titties.  Nobody wants to see any of that!

Can Tamra and Vicki do something besides get together and stuff their wrinkled faces?  How are they “best friends” yet Vicki had no idea that Tam’s financial situation was as dire as it was?  Sounds like a bullshit friendship to me.  I know more about the lives of friends I met on Twitter than these two busy bodies know about each other.  So Simon is only earning money with his tequila business??  WHY?  He was making plenty of money at the car dealership.  Why wouldn’t he go back to that?  People with families really kill me pulling stunts like this.  I know you don’t wanna sit back behind that desk after living high on the hog, creating your own schedule for a couple of years, but muthaluva, you have kids and a wife whether you want her or not.  Take yo ass to work!  Tamra, take YO ass to work!  That is just ridiculous.  They’re the same two Republicans who think that people shouldn’t sit on their asses when they’re capable of working……but they ain’t workin!  Hypocrites.

Now Jeana is our girl!  She sold some cars, jewelry, art AND the bitch is still working!  That is what you do when you are hurting financially!  I love Jeana for that.  She’s driving that old school big body Benz.  Shit, it’s paid for!  You go Jeana.

Breanna finished her nursing program in 3 years when it usually takes 7 years!  Good for her.  That’s a wonderful accomplishment.  HOWEVA, you can’t tell me that she did that for any other reason than to get started on her career and away from Vicki’s nutty ass LMAO!  Breanna is like I’m OUT!  As a gift, Vicki is treating her and her mother to an Italian vacation.  This should be a train wreck!

Why is Gretchen tryna hawk shit on some hidden side street?  She should create an eBay account and sell her shit to nutjobs like Kim Kardashian does.

What parent in their right mind would take their child to a plastic surgeon to discuss getting work done?  This little girl ain’t old enough to buy a fucking drink, but you’re gonna pay for her to have her body cut up…cuz there’s a lot of competition in Orange County?  No wonder Alexa and Raquel are fucked in the head.  This girl has severe self-esteem issues.  It bothers me that Lynne is trying to put a band-aid over it instead of dealing with the issues.  This is downright pathetic!  And where is the father?  No real man should sit there and watch his daughter feel like that about herself!!  The Curtins SUCK as parents!

Vicki’s mama in Rome is exactly why people in other countries can’t stand Americans!  Damn that woman was ornery as hell.  I’m sorry, I woulda left her ass at home, mother or not!

Back over to Lynne and her two head cases…it’s sad when the 17-year-old is so upset that her mom and sister want to fuck with themselves via surgery that she starts crying!  I’m just smh.  Lynne is too dumb to read between the lines.  Alexa is NOT mad that Raquel gets more material shit.  She’s upset cuz she’s acting out by drinking, etc. and all her parents seem to notice or care about are Raquel’s looks and what kind of car she’s driving!  That little girl is in desperate need of loving parents!  I’m actually upset watching this right now.

Why did it take being broke for Tamra to clean her own house?  The bitch don’t work and has no newborns.  What are you too busy doing that you can’t clean up after your own family?

Kara transferred to UCLA and got a job.  She pays her own rent and slowed down the shopping!  Jeana might be an emotional eater, but damnit, she raised that girl right!  Wait a minute, did I know that she got a boob job?  Or are these new?

Back in Rome, Vicki is acting like the Italians are fucked up cuz she’s blond and should be going out of their way to understand her and her English speaking self.  Her words, not mine!  Sorry babe, you are in their country.  Why the hell should they speak so that you can comprehend?  You have so much money, why didn’t you hire a translator to roll with you the whole time?  Idiots.  I know those people are going to be so glad for Vicki and nem to leave.

Simon and Tacky Tamra went out to dinner with Jim and Alexis.  The two of them are so in love while Simon and his mistake have 3 feet worth of air between them!  Tamra should not be airing their dirty, marital laundry.  That’s why he can’t stand her!

Tamra and Simon are meeting with someone about listing their home.  She couldn’t even spit out one tear.  She’s so full of shit.  If she were that attached to her home, then she woulda been handling business.  Get off your flat lazy ass and work…earn some money and pay your damn bills!  Hell, get a part-time job if you have to, but to act now like she’s so devastated?  Get outta here with that.

…Vine…in a minute

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Real Housewives of OC: S5 Episode 1

Yes, actually, I do realize that I’m about 5 weeks behind.  You’ve been here long enough to know what I always say…better late than never.  Shit, I’ve been going through Atlanta Housewives withdrawal and anger since the last season ended.  I believe I’m ready to move on and give the OC bitches my undivided attention.

If I have to hear Vicky talkin’ about her vagina love tank again this season, I’m not going to get far.

It’s funny that Lynne said it’s not about how much money you have…Of course she said that cuz she ain’t got no damn money!

Breanna, Michael and Vicky are on their way to sky diving!  White folk, why are ya’ll always tryna cheat death?  Michael can’t stand her ass.  I hate to say it, but he looks like he’s secretly hoping her parachute malfunctions!!  You notice Michael’s ass was on the ground watching?  He was not gonna fuck up his possible payday by jumping, too. 

Over to Jeana and Colton.  How in the hell did Jeana burn out a clutch in one flippin outing?  Broke people need to drive better!  I’m not being funny; she’s even saying herself that her income has decreased by 2/3!  That is a whole lotta damn money!  She better stop eating $200 lunches at the St. Regis and learn to fucking cook like everybody else on a budget!

Tacky Tamra is such a piece of trash!  Why are you allowing your homeboy to say tea bag in the middle of a child’s party?  Simon can’t stand that broad.  I don’t know what happened, but I KNOW he ain’t fillin up her love tank these days with his pump!

Greedy Gretchen still looks good in spite of everyone talking shit about her over the past year!  I really don’t like Slade and Gretchen together, but I also don’t think she truly cares about that man!  Gretchen is still grieving Jeff’s loss.  She just wants someone there to comfort her, snuggle with her and spend time with her.  When she gets out of that place, she won’t give a damn about Slade’s non-child support paying, broke ass!  Watch! 

Over to Lynne in her rented by Bravo home.  How are you trying to have your accessories carried in a store that you can’t even pronounce?  That is a pet peeve of mine.  It’s Fred Segal, not SegalS.  It’s Nordstom, not NordstromS.  It’s Tiffany & Co., not TiffanyS!  Learn it…use it, Lynne.

Here goes Vicky bitching at Donn as if he’s the hired help!  You know why Vicky is so mad at bitches like Gretchen and the new girl?  Cuz she resents being the breadwinner in her home.  Well guess what honey?  YOU were part of the decision made that Donn would be in the home doing his thing while you were building an empire.  Don’t complain now.  And speaking of Bravo paying for shit for the housewives, can they PLEASE buy Vicky’s ass a face lift?  I’m not tryna be mean, I’m serious.  She has a decent figure for an almost 50-year-old woman, her business is on point, but that sun damage combined with aging is catching up to her!  She needs some work done.  At least some Patricia Wexler products.

Vicky and Tacky Tam are together having drinks, natch!  Damn right Simon is controlling.  He’s probably looking at Tacky Tam like she’s the one who caused all this shit!  If she weren’t tryna keep up with the Joneses, they’d still have some money. 

Vicky said that Jeana asked her for some money and she said no.  I’m on the fence about that.  I feel Vicky; money and friendship, especially that kind of money, don’t typically mix.  On the other hand, Vicky and Jeana have been bffs for quite some time.  How could she turn her back on Jeana in her time of need?  Maybe not all the money, but damn, at least some.  I would never turn my back on Hollywood like that and she wouldn’t do that to me either, period!!

Maybe if Tacky Tamra would spend more time worrying about her own on the rocks marriage instead of Gretchen’s love affairs, then her husband wouldn’t hate the sight of her ass!  She is a bitch!!  Now she done latched onto Lynne cuz Lynne is doing something with herself.  Tamra should fuck with Slade; they are both opportunistic wannabes!

This is why we love Gretchen!  She stood tall and owned up to her bullshit that came out during the off-season.  Yeah, she was in a fucked up place.  Who wouldn’t be after they lost their fiance?  I’m sure she was fucked up day in and day out, hanging around with a bunch of party all the time losers!  But she dusted herself off and she’s still standing tall, just as blond and cute as she was last season!  Team Gretchen!

Why is Lynne so pressed to be accepted by this broad?  Fuck Tamra and her broke, jealous ass!  I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who talked about me like a dog the way that she did about Lynne and Gretchen.  I’m glad Gretchen told Lynne about herself!  Still, the million dolla question is how did Gretchen’s alleged boyfriend get Tamra’s number?  Hmmmm.

Lynne’s is doing all she can to ensure that her daughter, Alexa, ends up on a pole!  Why is your 17-year-old parading down a random street with a bikini on?  That shit ain’t cute.  Lynne better worry about raising them daughters better before she tries to launch an international accessory line.

It is 2009.  Why does Lynne always look like the lead in some bad 80s porn? 

You see Simon told Tam to show some class!  Call me crazy, but I sincerely believe that he thinks her acting a fool last season had something to do with his business taking a nosedive!

Vicki is so ridiculous.  Lynne is supposed to be your acquaintance, at the least.  You couldn’t put on her jewelry for one damn night?  She’s just rude.  Gretchen has on a plum-colored slip and still puts these heffas to shame.  THAT is why they hate her ass.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Poor Jeana, all she wants to do is eat her way through the tension.  Tamra, if you’re tired of Gretchen looking like the good girl, then stop acting like you grew up in East St. Louis where she’s concerned!  Leave that woman alone.  You keep talking shit about her and she ignores you.  That’s why she looks good to the public. 

Tamra is a bold faced liar!  Straight up.  I can’t even deal with this little confrontation anymore.  I’m over this bitch talking down to Gretchen as if she’s so much better!  Vicki has some nerve saying that Gretchen was mean after all the bullshit that just came out of Tam’s mouth!  Tamra, if Gretchen preyed on old men, they why is she with Slade right now?  Bitches like that don’t give a damn…they stick to what works for them and their bank account!  JEALOUSY!

If ya’ll can remember back this far, what did you think of the season premiere?  It’s gonna be a good season, I knowz it.

…Vine…in a minute

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Why Must Sheree Act A Donkey At All Times?

I’m sure ya’ll have seen all the celebrities doing their bit for the NOH8 Campaign.  Now our trashtastic Atlanta Housewives are in on the cause.  Sheree’s photo is out.  WHY must this woman make everything about her.  Take a look at her NOH8 photo and tell me what’s wrong with it!

How are you gonna involve yourself in one cause, while promoting your own?  Is that not the tackiest shit you done ever seen?  If you’re tryna promote a non-existent clothing line, at least make the earrings fly!  Those weren’t even cute door knockers!  They just looked cheap, just like that horses tail hanging from the back of her head!

I won’t even get started on how her homegirl was on Twitter talking about Sheree doesn’t even know what a weave is and doesn’t understand how they work!  HUH?  She’s such a donkey!

…Vine…in a minute

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The Real Scandalous Housewives of New Jersey

These Housewives are starting to create more entertainment off camera than on.  If I were a betting woman (which I am when money permits), I’d say that Bravo knows all this shit before filming begins…and they cast these violent, criminal ass broads on purpose!

I’m a week behind, so ya’ll might have already know this, but the bitch Danielle was into some crazy ass shit!  First of all, her name is really Beverly Merrill.  You know that ex-husband of hers that won’t give her an ounce of alimony?  That’s Kevin Maher, one of the highest paid FBI and DEA agents to date! 

The New York Post article talks about the book,”Cop Without A Badge”, which not only details Beverly/Dirty D’s past as a “paid escort”, stripper, extornionist and drug runner, but it also shows her fucked up as mug shot photo!  Dayum, girlfriend has had even more plastic surgery than I thought.  She had that Superman/Booty chin fixed, her nose clearly was restructured and she might have just had a face lift for good measure, as well!

Something strikes me as very odd about her marriage to Maher.  They met some time in the late 80’s while she was out on bail.  It’s 2009 and she’s still tryna get her divorce settlement; they were only married a couple years at most by her own admission.  So these two fucking nutjob criminals were together for damn near a decade before he decided to marry her?  But what about her 19 other proposals?  Were they from tricks?  When did she have time to hear another proposal while she was with a rich, powerful FBI/DEA informant?  This whole story sounds fishy; I’m gonna need a copy of that book to piece it together!

Click here to read the New York Post article AND see the photo…then tell us your thoughts! 

…Vine…in a minute