Real Housewives of NY: Season 4 Premiere (Recap)

The new season started off with Ramona, Alex and their husbands drinking Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio.  Yep, she’s hawkin wine now, in case you missed that development in the off-season.  Jill arrived stuffed into her dress like Wendy Williams’ feet stuffed into her dancing shoes.  She claimed to have grown and been humbled from last year.  Yeah right!  I love that Alex ain’t taking shit from Jill this year.  Alex invited all the girls to march in their wedding gowns for marriage equality.  Jill made a joke out of it with Ramona’s sidekick, Joni!  She seems just as rude as ever to me.

Jill said that a “real friend” sticks by their friend even through a tough time, which is why she’s still tight with Kelly’s crazy ass.  Bullshit.  Jill is still friends with her cuz she ain’t making the same mistake twice.  She won’t risk one of her RHONY co-stars becoming a megastar and she not be there to reap the benefits.  The two of them hung out trash talking Alex.  Of course she brought up Bethenny.  She said Bethenny threw her away, that she had no idea Bethenny was planning to have this major career and felt used.  She whined that once Bethenny got married, she had no more room for Jill.  Let’s forget about the fact that they had already fallen out looooong before Bethenny said I do!  But why let facts get in the way of Jill Zarin’s ego?  Ramona called it the way it ACTUALLY is.  “Bethenny didn’t dump Jill as a friend, she did it to herself.”  Of course she did, but Jill’s so damn self involved that she couldn’t see the error of her ways if you put them in a diamond.

Over to Simex, Simon left the hotel to start a social media company.  So he and Alex are both working at home, sharing an office.  Alex signed w/a modeling agency.  She’s only 36 years old.  I have to say, I am shocked as shit that she’s not over 40.  Her body is bangin’, but she looks much older than 36.  Kelly made a point of saying that being a model simply means that you are photogenic, not pretty.  She should know.  She ain’t neva been pretty EVA and she was a model!

Sassy Sonja and Ramona hit an art benefit.  Sonja looked good, besides that faulty eye makeup.  How do they have all this money and can’t get their face beat before filming?  Okay, so Cindy, the hostess, is the newest “housewife”.  She struck me as another Countess Lu, hanging out slamming shots Downtown, trying to regain her youth.  She seems to be a successful businesswoman who works with her brother.  She has a 10 month old baby, but no man.  She went through IVF and it looks like she has 2, but I couldn’t tell. WOW, this bitch Cindy just have her twins delivered to the art benefit like pizza!  Who does that?

Jill and Bobby Vegas arrived.  I still love him!  Lulu and Crazy Ass Kelly made an entrance.  Then Alex and Simon brought up the rear, no pun intended.  Cindy’s involvement in the organization that will benefit from the proceeds came from them (didn’t catch the name) helping her when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.  Lord have mercy!  God bless her heart for giving back to them!  Here goes Jill, all up in Cindy’s business.  She’s so damn nosey!

God bless Ramona’s assistant.  I’m sure she’s paid well, but ain’t enough money in the world to get me to deal with all that crazy on a daily basis.  She interviewed for a second assistant.  WHY did Bravo exploit that black girl with a bad, blond wig and bright ass red lipstick?  They knew good and well Ramona wasn’t going to hire her black ass, but back to the interviews.  It seemed hella rude that Ramona was critiquing all of the candidates, but in a twisted sort of way, I appreciate what she did.  Those young girls looked a hot ass mess and should be thankful Ramona took a minute to give them pointers.  Trust, others would have said BYE and they’d still be tryna figure out what went wrong.

Over to the cougars den, Lu and Sonja went on a double dinner date with their tadpoles at Orsay.  Brian is the name of Sonja’s piece.  These old, nasty, horny broads and their boy toys making sexual jokes about walking through bushes and gardens turned my stomach.  Honestly, I thought both women made fools out of themselves at that dinner table.  I don’t know if Sonja’s eyesight is leaving her, but that man is NOT hot and if every woman in New York wants him, I’m glad I live in Cali.

Out at Ramona’s Hamptons home, Simex were her and Mario’s guests.  They were all in town for a wedding so Ramona invited them to stay at their home.  Jill left a message for Alex that she wasn’t coming to the marriage equality march, but she’s on the committee LOL!  Alex put her on blast.  She stood there while Alex invited all the ladies to the march as if she’d never heard of the event LMAO!  Just when I thought she was as low as possible, she goes lower.

Now for the wedding.  Jill was all stressed because her spanx were visible.  Talk about dramatic.  I think Bobby tunes her out at this point.  She had no clue that Simex were invited.  She shit her pants, but put on a fake happy face.  Alex and Ramona missed the memo that only the bride is supposed to wear white to a wedding.  Again I ask, who does that?  Jill kept mentioning how much she’s changed…yep, for the worse!

After the wedding, Ramona was talking badly about Cindy’s brother, Howie, and he overheard LMAO!  Ooops.  I’m thinking those two ladies won’t be getting along any time soon.

Jill pulled a few sidekicks together in a corner of the reception to bitch about Alex and spin the story that she was only on the “Honorary” committee for the march.  There was a baby confrontation between Alex and Jill, but I forgot what it was about when Ramona’s tacky ass put her finger on the cake to taste the icing and knocked off a flower…made of icing.  These people have no fucking manners…says the woman with the potty mouth!

Judging by the previews for the season, there won’t be a dull moment.  What did you think of the premiere?  Worth the wait?

…Vine…in a minute