Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

Posts tagged ‘Sonja Morgan’

Real Housewives of NY: Season 4 Premiere (Recap)

The new season started off with Ramona, Alex and their husbands drinking Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio.  Yep, she’s hawkin wine now, in case you missed that development in the off-season.  Jill arrived stuffed into her dress like Wendy Williams’ feet stuffed into her dancing shoes.  She claimed to have grown and been humbled from last year.  Yeah right!  I love that Alex ain’t taking shit from Jill this year.  Alex invited all the girls to march in their wedding gowns for marriage equality.  Jill made a joke out of it with Ramona’s sidekick, Joni!  She seems just as rude as ever to me.

Jill said that a “real friend” sticks by their friend even through a tough time, which is why she’s still tight with Kelly’s crazy ass.  Bullshit.  Jill is still friends with her cuz she ain’t making the same mistake twice.  She won’t risk one of her RHONY co-stars becoming a megastar and she not be there to reap the benefits.  The two of them hung out trash talking Alex.  Of course she brought up Bethenny.  She said Bethenny threw her away, that she had no idea Bethenny was planning to have this major career and felt used.  She whined that once Bethenny got married, she had no more room for Jill.  Let’s forget about the fact that they had already fallen out looooong before Bethenny said I do!  But why let facts get in the way of Jill Zarin’s ego?  Ramona called it the way it ACTUALLY is.  “Bethenny didn’t dump Jill as a friend, she did it to herself.”  Of course she did, but Jill’s so damn self involved that she couldn’t see the error of her ways if you put them in a diamond.

Over to Simex, Simon left the hotel to start a social media company.  So he and Alex are both working at home, sharing an office.  Alex signed w/a modeling agency.  She’s only 36 years old.  I have to say, I am shocked as shit that she’s not over 40.  Her body is bangin’, but she looks much older than 36.  Kelly made a point of saying that being a model simply means that you are photogenic, not pretty.  She should know.  She ain’t neva been pretty EVA and she was a model!

Sassy Sonja and Ramona hit an art benefit.  Sonja looked good, besides that faulty eye makeup.  How do they have all this money and can’t get their face beat before filming?  Okay, so Cindy, the hostess, is the newest “housewife”.  She struck me as another Countess Lu, hanging out slamming shots Downtown, trying to regain her youth.  She seems to be a successful businesswoman who works with her brother.  She has a 10 month old baby, but no man.  She went through IVF and it looks like she has 2, but I couldn’t tell. WOW, this bitch Cindy just have her twins delivered to the art benefit like pizza!  Who does that?

Jill and Bobby Vegas arrived.  I still love him!  Lulu and Crazy Ass Kelly made an entrance.  Then Alex and Simon brought up the rear, no pun intended.  Cindy’s involvement in the organization that will benefit from the proceeds came from them (didn’t catch the name) helping her when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.  Lord have mercy!  God bless her heart for giving back to them!  Here goes Jill, all up in Cindy’s business.  She’s so damn nosey!

God bless Ramona’s assistant.  I’m sure she’s paid well, but ain’t enough money in the world to get me to deal with all that crazy on a daily basis.  She interviewed for a second assistant.  WHY did Bravo exploit that black girl with a bad, blond wig and bright ass red lipstick?  They knew good and well Ramona wasn’t going to hire her black ass, but back to the interviews.  It seemed hella rude that Ramona was critiquing all of the candidates, but in a twisted sort of way, I appreciate what she did.  Those young girls looked a hot ass mess and should be thankful Ramona took a minute to give them pointers.  Trust, others would have said BYE and they’d still be tryna figure out what went wrong.

Over to the cougars den, Lu and Sonja went on a double dinner date with their tadpoles at Orsay.  Brian is the name of Sonja’s piece.  These old, nasty, horny broads and their boy toys making sexual jokes about walking through bushes and gardens turned my stomach.  Honestly, I thought both women made fools out of themselves at that dinner table.  I don’t know if Sonja’s eyesight is leaving her, but that man is NOT hot and if every woman in New York wants him, I’m glad I live in Cali.

Out at Ramona’s Hamptons home, Simex were her and Mario’s guests.  They were all in town for a wedding so Ramona invited them to stay at their home.  Jill left a message for Alex that she wasn’t coming to the marriage equality march, but she’s on the committee LOL!  Alex put her on blast.  She stood there while Alex invited all the ladies to the march as if she’d never heard of the event LMAO!  Just when I thought she was as low as possible, she goes lower.

Now for the wedding.  Jill was all stressed because her spanx were visible.  Talk about dramatic.  I think Bobby tunes her out at this point.  She had no clue that Simex were invited.  She shit her pants, but put on a fake happy face.  Alex and Ramona missed the memo that only the bride is supposed to wear white to a wedding.  Again I ask, who does that?  Jill kept mentioning how much she’s changed…yep, for the worse!

After the wedding, Ramona was talking badly about Cindy’s brother, Howie, and he overheard LMAO!  Ooops.  I’m thinking those two ladies won’t be getting along any time soon.

Jill pulled a few sidekicks together in a corner of the reception to bitch about Alex and spin the story that she was only on the “Honorary” committee for the march.  There was a baby confrontation between Alex and Jill, but I forgot what it was about when Ramona’s tacky ass put her finger on the cake to taste the icing and knocked off a flower…made of icing.  These people have no fucking manners…says the woman with the potty mouth!

Judging by the previews for the season, there won’t be a dull moment.  What did you think of the premiere?  Worth the wait?

…Vine…in a minute

Real Housewives of New York: Season 3 Finale

This is a first!  Hollywood and I are watching at the same time under the same roof!  I’ll apologize in advance for not having a regular recap.  There’s too much going on with the two of us here that I can’t think to really give you a blow by blow through my eyes…welcome to our chaos!

Oh gawd, Ramona is batting lead off.  WHO is that big haired, Georgia peach lookin’ woman?  I think someone needs to buy Ramona a pair of spanx for a wedding gift!  She’s checking out the Pierre, where she’s going to have her “renewal” ceremony, blah blah blah!

Over to Jill Zarin and Roller Girl!  Lunch at Cirque.  I am so upset that the two of them have gotten to this point, BUT I absolutely think that Jill is doing this for personal gain.  Hollywood loves all she does, but not me.  C’mon Jill, all ya’ll gossip about each other!  Keep it real.  Ya’ll see Jill’s attitude slightly changing while Bethenny is letting her have it?  EVERYONE is a villain but Jill!  She’s the victim all the damn time.  Please honey!  I hope that Bethenny leaves this friendship in the past.  It’s run its course, leave it in the past!

LOOK AT BOBBY VEGAS!  I don’t give a damn.  That is one sexy ass man!  Do you see this gay producer with all those women tryna prove that he’s masculine?  Poor Kelly can’t dress to save her life. Sonja got on stockings GNR!  Who is Jacque?  Another one of Countess Lu’s boyfriends that she picked up while she was still married?  Just askin.  Um, we know what that something is that makes them click…he’s penis!  Hollywood said she’s shocked Ramona didn’t show up…her off beat ass never misses a chance to dance.  Countess, he’s your favorite producer b/c he’s your ONLY producer!  White people, I’m sorry, but nobody there could find the beat if you put it in a Louis Vuitton bag!  Lu didn’t even have the mic near her mouth while she was lip syncing!  Good Lord!

I love that Sonja keeps it real.  She gets so damn drunk she can’t help it!  Yes, Jill showed up unannounced! 

Over to Bethenny’s, she and Jason are packing up her shit.  Snooze, but I am looking forward to new show:)

Back to Ramona, she and Avery are over at Oscar Blondi.  Avery canNOT stand that woman.  Look at her.  She barely wants them to give her a trim!  When she gets old enough to go to college, she might go to another country just to get away from her crazy ass mama!  Ooooh Avery has some Chelsea Clinton hair!

We see exactly why Ramona has that gut!  Every single time this woman is on screen, she has a fucking glass of Pinot Grigio in her damn hand!  How are you gonna be an old ass woman gettin’ drunk before you renew your wedding vows?  She’s drunk as a skunk!  Jill Zarin just surprised her in her suite.  Ramona gave her that drunk person’s side to side sway hug!  And Jill looks like one of the B-52s! 

Now for guests’ arrivals.  Sonja might be loose and bothered by that pesky Memorial Day Weekend DUI, but that bitch is FIERCE!  You betta work!  Simon is lookin’ like one of the Village People (shockingly), Bethenny looks like she’s going to nurse African children like Salma Hayek, and Kelly with those toes hanging over her stripper shoes is a mess!  She is so UGH!  Countess Lu looks boring and I actually think that Alex looks better than EVER!  I gotta give it up to her even though Hollywood think she looks like the Wicked Witch of the East.  Back in the suite, Ramona is stressing over her “notes”, but Mario isn’t trippin.  As long as he can lay pipe in that suite 2 hours after the ceremony, he don’t care!!  OMG, Jennifer said “would you ever pay that person to plan your event”?  I TOLD YOU!!  She is as old and dusty as the event planning profession.

Do ya’ll see Coco in that blue dress matching Avery?  THAT is why animals attack humans.

Look at the jive turkey playing the clarinet!  He looks like one of the Five Heartbeats! 

Awww, Ramona’s vows were actually very sweet and kind!  Mario’s too!  That was very endearing!  Truly. 

I’d like to know what 16 year old Kelly knows with a gut like Ramona’s!

Well, a fairly uneventful finale.  Hopefully LuAnn won’t make any more music and Bethenny’s show will be a good time.  We’ll be watching.

…H & V…in a minute

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: