Where Reality Meets Rhapsody

So I wake up this morning to the news that Ike Turner Chris Brown acted a complete and utter fool at Good Morning America.  His new album comes out today and I’m guessing Robin Roberts was interviewing him before a performance.  Of course, she asked him about the Rihanna incident during their sit down.  He tried to redirect her, but being the pro she is, she kept at him.  What does this asshole do?  He goes back to the Green Room, grabs a chair and breaks a damn window. TMZ has a photo of the window; go there to see it.

#1: Can we all agree that he did not successfully complete his anger management classes?

#2: How is this his publicist’s fault?

#3:  How many more passes does this fool get?

He physically abused one of the biggest pop stars in the world; people are gonna keep asking him about it.  He’s an adult now.  Adults learn how to deal with shit that they don’t like sensibly, not by becoming an enraged and out of control gorilla.  Chris Brown needs to do some serious soul-searching while laying on a couch with a doctor helping him along the way.  Ain’t no shame in that.  Black (and white) folks giving this troubled person numerous passes for his bad behavior will NOT help him.  Believe that.

Are you done giving Chris a pass?  You still buying his new album?

Vine…in a minute

Update:  A source at GMA told Black Media Scoop that Chris was well aware that the Rihanna question would be asked ahead of time.

Ok #1 is Emily B. seriously talking about “faking it”? Umm you are the one who has been in a relationship with a man for 8 years and no one has ever heard or seen you with this man! I can’t say that I blame Olivia for the  fake it till you make it move,  Darelle Revis signed a contract for $160 million for 10 years!  Somaya needs to ALWAYS wear make-up wait…did this bitch say she was SHOT????  She acts like she hasn’t done bikini photo shoots and she is talking about “Mira Mi Pum Pum” so why did she pretend to be offended for this photo shoot?  GTFOH!  Chrissy is my girl I relate to her.  Vine thinks that she abuses Jim Jones, but I just think she is a real down ass bitch.  He drives a Camaro, she drives a Bentley Flying Spur.  That’s how it should be!

Hollywood…in a minute

Chelsea and Mark are up first and they came out the gate fighting!  She’s very good!  Oh, a little bouncy toward the end; Len will hate that, but still fun to watch.  Overall I think the judges will love it.  If she can get people to pick up the phone and vote for her, she’ll go far.  7, 7 and 7.  800-VOTE4-01.

Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani are up after the break!  How you dancin? OMG, Wendy, I love you, but you gotta sneak some of your talk show wigs to the DWTS set.  I watch her show so I know she can’t dance, but I’m still nervous that she’s going to fall over.  That’s a big mamma jamma!  Here we go…Well, um, okay.  She’s doing the steps without looking at her feet so that’s a good start LMAO!  I mean shit, she did the best she could.  Len is going to beat her up though!  Good Lord.  Bruno said she looked like a virgin out there!  5, 4, 5. 800-VOTE4-02

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson, I have a feeling this is going to be ugly.  He can’t get a closer shave on his head than that?  I’m distracted…but I digress.  Oh my, he moves his butt and his hips a bit too well for me.  Not in a sexy way AT ALL!  In a midtown Atlanta kind of way.  Cue Carrie Ann falling out over the obligatory minority male athlete…and scene!  Len liked it a lot and Bruno climaxed right before our eyes!  Scores after the break.  7, 7 and 7. 800-VOTE4-03

Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin…if she dances anything like her promo, she’s in trouble!  I can only imagine how tough it was for her to be dancing when she got the news about the tsunami in Japan.  I can, however, imagine how excited DWTS producers were at the timing.  Sad, but true!  Okay, she’s Foxtrotting.  Since her pelvis was broken in 4 places during the Sri Lanka tsunami, her flexibility isn’t too great. She did a respectable job, but she was boring to me.  Nope, not b/c it was a fox trot…she was just boring!  All the judges like her, but want her to improve greatly.  6, 6 and 6  800-VOTE4-04

Romeo and Chelsea Hightower are up!  Tony can deny all those rumors on her behalf if he wants to.  I’d bet money Romeo is tappin’ that!  OMG he left his doo-rag on for the cameras.  Oh yes, she is out there dancing like Cheryl when she has a partner she’s sleeping with (allegedly).  That was a trainwreck.  I’m sorry, from the tongue sticking out like he was on the basketball court to doing the dougie and shit!  And Carrie Ann needs a cold shower!  For once, I hope Len calls him on that mess.  He can do SO much better!  7, 6, and 6.  Carrie Ann is trippin.  800-VOTE4-05.

Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna are up.  He’s still in great shape.  Fox Trot to my favorite Huey Lewis song…don’t judge me.  Anna basically danced around him throughout the performance.  I think she could have done better by him.  Oh gawwwd, Carrie Ann said he reminded her of Ben Vereen.  Len said the dancing level was low.  Bruno wants to call him “Suga”.  6, 5, 6  800-VOTE4-06

Kendra’s trashy ass and Louis are up now.  I cannot stand this woman and they paired her with my man, Louis.  Lord, she’s falling all over her own feet, laughing about how she still dances like a stripper.  Kendra couldn’t do a classy performance if you paid her!  Commercial…She was determined to shake her ass in that performance.  She was actually counting during her performance.  Between her tryna be sexy and Hef’s old ass in the audience sitting next to her husband, I was paralyzed during the whole mess.  Pam Anderson was better!

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff…Lord forgive me, but he has NOT aged well.  My goodness he looks bad.  Okay, he’s 49, I’ll take some of that back.  Not all, but some.  He does look aight for 50, but damn.  Fox Trot.  Uh oh, hey now, Karina did some work on him!  I’m smiling!  OMG he’s pretty damn good!  WOW!  I’m totally shocked.  Standing O from the crowd and deservedly so!  He killed it!  He’s in it to win it.  Scores after the break!  8, 8 and 8  800-VOTE4-08

Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke..Cheryl said that ballroom dancing is all about a man and woman connecting w/one another and nobody does that better than her.  No shit…allegedly!  This is already starting off bad.  He clapped for 8 counts and she danced around him for 4.  He is TOO BIG to be swirling his body around like that.  Wardrobe needs to do something to disguise those guns.  It didn’t work for me.  He did a decent job, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know.  YES Carrie Ann, it was like a Chippendales performance.  He did it right, but there was no content.  7, 6, and 6  800-VOTE4-09

Mike Catherwood and Lacey Schwimmer – Evidently he hosts Love Line w/Dr. Drew.  Never heard of him, but he’s dancing with my girl so I’ll give him a chance.  I want Lacey’s hair to not look like that ever again.  Aight, Fox Trot.  He’s bad, but not a lost cause.  He has a ton of personality and with some work might be able to sell it better.  Yikes, he has a Jive next week.  Well shoot, one bad week at a time.  I missed his score and I’m guessing he’s 800-VOTE4-10  Kidding, here are the scores 5, 4, and 4.

My girl, Kirstie Alley and Maks are hopefully ending the show with a bang!  I’m expecting her to do her thing.  A dancing with the stars ho LOL!  She’s hilarious!  What is she, 50 or 60?  She’s still attractive if you ask me.  Love her.  WORK IT BITCH!  She was GREAT!  I knew it!  One of these seasons ya’ll will learn to listen to me:)  8, 7,  and 8!  Len, don’t start!  800-VOTE4-11

My predictions – Final 4: Kirstie, Chelsea, Ralph and Hines with Kirstie for the win!!

Who was your favorite tonight?

– Vine

I hope I’m not the only one that expected Rick Fox to go home tonight!  Rick had great scores last night and the ladies love his ass.  So why didn’t viewers vote?  You know I’m gonna tell you why.  He put the nail in his coffin when he let his white girlfriend come into the studio ON CAMERA and jump his bones, takin off her jacket talkin’ about “you wanna show her how we do it at home baby?”.  Actually, we don’t and I know Cheryl didn’t cuz she probably wants to tap that her damn self, but I digress.

Here’s the thing, the average American watches this show.  The average American does not want to see a sweet, innocent white girl being turned out by a big, tall ass black man!  On top of that, many blacks don’t wanna see it either!  He was doomed from the start of that video clip!

Note to DWTS “stars”, people watching at home will or won’t pick up the phone and vote based on what they see in that video, not just what they see on the dance floor.  So all your bedroom activity, whining, diva bullshit and complaining about the judges will always get you kicked off.  The Situation, that girl Derek pretended to like, Shannon Elizabeth and the list goes on!  Watch yourselves.

Who do you think is going to win this season?  I’m still ridin’ with Brandy!

Vine…in a minute

Our bitches are BACK!  So excited and before it even starts, I’m laughing at the finale of last season when Sheree said She by Sheree is here to stay…but she’s already onto something else!  These ladies neva disappoint.  What happened with Nene and Gregg?  Kim’s a lesbian now!  Lisa has left the show!  Kandi’s dating Willis McGahee or some shit!  Two new housewives!  Bring it!

Thank gaaaawd, they stopped showing Kandi doin’ the prep in the intro!  We’re startin off with Sheree acting out  a scene with Father Time!  She was better off as a fashion designer!  You have no acting experience, Sheree?  Noooo shit!  Her newfound passion is acting so SBS is on hold for a second.  She’s dating an actor and now she’s ready to win an Oscar.  Lord have mercy!  Nene came over and is as shocked as us that Sheree is tryna act.  NeNe has gossip.  Kim announced in Life & Style that she’s a lesbian and they think it’s funny!

NeNe invited her over so they can discuss their “friendship”.  Oooh NeNe girrrl, that open back does not do you justice girl!  Well, whatever is going on w/her and Gregg must not have happened yet cuz they’re gettin along like normal.  Here comes Kim still talkin’ about NeNe strangled her!  She’s a damn LIE!  Nene’s hair cut is TOUGH!  Kim got a new wig!  The Leakes got a new house.  Gregg didn’t even wanna be there w/those two LOL!  He left.  What was different about Tracy?  She was single and famous, that’s what’s different!  NeNe you know damn well Kim would fuck a chicken as long as it’s famous enough LOL!  Aight here she goes.  NeNe said she doesn’t know where she and Gregg are going.  She’s now the bread-winner and his old ass is sittin’ at home!  Ahh shit, Kim said that Dwight told her that Gregg asked HIM for $10,000!  NeNe did not know.  Oooooo weeee!  That is ugly!  NeNe is mad as hell at Gregg, but madder at Dwight!  She’s right, he is supposed to be her girlfriend; he shouldn’t be tellin’ her business to anyone, ESPECIALLY KIM AND HER LOOSE LIPS! (commercial)

Kandi is over at Kim’s talkin’ about her new dude, the NFL player, Willis McGahee.  He flew down to the A to meet her.  I’m not tryna be funny, but why?  OH EM GEE!  Kandi is packin’ a mean punch and I don’t mean in her fist…WHAT has she been eatin’ since the last season ended?  Kandi is bothered that Kim is hanging with NeNe again.  Why doesn’t she get that Kim is the lunatic in that duo?  See, Kandi thought that Kim was going to keep her new love of women to herself, so why was it in Life & Style Weekly?  Kandi is just not that smart!  After all this time, she still ain’t seen Kizzie’s true media whoring colors?

Over at some rock climbin’ spot, Kandi and Willis are on a date!  They shoulda gone running, but anyway.  Did this ninja say “Celo-vet”?  Not celibate!  I need to watch that again.  That seemed like a brother and sister hanging out, not too people w/the hots for each other.  I have more chemistry with the bottle of water sitting next to me right now!

Kizzie’s oldest daughter is dating now!  Again, WHY?  Okay, parents are gonna stop lettin’ these hot in the ass little girls date when they can’t even drive a damn car!  Uh huh, she’s already kissing and she knows what a whore is!  She is THIRTEEN years old!  Why does she get to date?  If Kizzie’s daughter keeps eatin’ ice cream like that, she won’t have to worry about boys tryna kiss her!  Just sayin…(commercial)

Here goes a newbie, Phaedra and she’s either pregnant or has a beer belly!  She’s talkin’ all this shit about being such a southern lady…I bet she’ll be the first one to kick up some shit!  Her husband’s name is Apollo.  She made him sign a prenup.  BTW she thinks that means he doesn’t want her money ROFL!  I don’t like her already!  Too self-righteous.  She’s an attorney to the black, hood stars!  Of course, she’s friends with Dwight!  Let’s keep it real, a TRUE southern bell wouldn’t be caught dead in Dwight’s house!  She’s Dwight’s attorney, allegedly.  So he can’t afford to breathe through his nose, but he has an attorney on tap?  Wait, he said he spent $30,000 of his own money on the She by Sheree fashion show?!!  I’ll ask again…WHY?  Is Phaedra an attorney or fucking Emily Post?  This broad is pretentious as hell!

NeNe and Kim are attending an event & Ms. Eubanks is gonna be there.  NeNe is now confronting Gregg about allegedly asking to borrow money!  Gregg is LYING!  Believe me when I tell you, that man is lying through his crooked teeth.  Aight, he said that he and Dwight went in on a small $500 each investment.  The “deal” fell through!  Deal LOL!!  He called it a deal LMAO!  Let me tell ya’ll what really happened.  Gregg pulled Dwight into a pyramid scheme after it was hot!  Nobody came in under them and they lost their money.  Book it!

Lawrence is over at Sheree’s so they can go shoe shopping.  I’m gonna go head & say it, I am SICK of seeing men on TV wearing fucking high heels and hand bags!  Stop it!  Sheree said she’s confronting Dwight at the spot tonight.  She said he did help, but no WAY did he put 30k into her shit!

I’ll say this much, don’t nobody on any of the Housewives show party like when Kizzie and NeNe get together!  NOBODY!  NeNe’s sort of done with the negative roller coaster with her marriage.  Kizzie ain’t seen it in a long time.  NeNe doesn’t know that she’s still in love with Gregg.  She said she likes him a little bit!  That is NOT good!

Why is Phaedra’s skirt short enough to see where her baby’s bout to come from?  Gross.  Nobody wants to see a pregnant broad’s chucky!

Dwight is about to show his face!  What’s his deal?  Phaedra called NeNe ghetto and all kind of shit 5 minutes ago before commercial now she wants NeNe to hug her?  GTFOH!

Dwight ripped up NeNe’s $500 check.  She went OFF!  Dwight told her to get out of his face.  She told him to watch his hands!  All he can say is get her outta my face.  He all kinds of shit to say behind her back, but didn’t have shit to say in her face.  Phaedra said that a lady does not act like that!  Guess what?  A lady does not go out the house in a mini skirt while she’s pregnant!  Party OVA!  The show ended with NeNe thanking Kim (and Sheree in absentia) for havin her back and scenes from the season!

I thought that was WELL worth the wait.  What did ya’ll think?

As I’m watching all of the “stars” dancing at the opening, I want Jennifer Grey to stick to choreographed moves.  Now that we’re without the sex bomb Hoff, I can cringe a bit less tonight.

We’re starting off with Rick Fox and a Jive.  I LOVE this dance.  I hope he can pull it off.  He has a tendon issue.  Let’s see how this works out.  He’s actually a good partner.  She’s not draggin his ass all over the floor like Chelsie is doing w/Michael Bolton.  Cheryl’s ass thinks she’s slick putting all that ass slappin’ in the routine!  I see you Cheryl.  That was a lot of fun.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty good for a Week 2 jive!  See, the judges are sayin’ exactly what I’m saying.  Ya’ll think I’m crazy, but I speaketh the truth:)  Let’s see what all that means for scores…21!  Not bad.  (Commercial)

Up next, Florence Henderson.  I know she’s America’s mom, but she ain’t mine.  She bores me, but aight let’s see her Quick Step.  Hopefully it’s not more like a half time step!…….Ummmm.  Didn’t I just say the half time step?!  That’s what it was.  I’ve seen people mover faster running through a club when I fight breaks out!  That was terrible.  Okay, Bruno said she looked like Driving Miss Daisy LOL!  Carrie Ann liked it and thought it was elegant.  Oh stop it, Carrie Ann.  It’s okay to tell a 76-year-old that she sucked!  Len loved it, too!  They need to quit.  They know good and hell well the producers told them to keep her around!  Now for her scores…Wait a minute, why does Brooke Burke even have on a dress?  I think I actually saw her implants shift that damn dress is cut so low.  Flo got a 19!

Alright now Brandy!  Bring it bitch!  She and Maks are arguing in rehearsals.  WHY do these celebrities argue with their pro partners?  Listen to what they’re tryna teach you and MOVE ON, damn!  She better Jive her ass off after that.  Oh gawd, she did a little booty shaking mid dance.  Len is going to HATE that!  Oh geez, Sassy Sarah Palin is in the audience tonight.  I’m going to throw up!  Back to Brandy, she didn’t have much attack or sharpness tonight.  Carrie Ann didn’t like it!  Len thought she took steps backward from last week.  Yep, Len said that she didn’t dance with intent!  Bruno said she was only okay and she wasn’t sharp or precise enough!  Mmmm hmmm.  (Commercial)  21 for Brandy! (3406)

Michael Bolton better not come with another cringe worthy performance!  He’s doing a jive.  I am not expecting too much from him.  For real Chelsie?  You want him to crawl out of a dog house cuz you’re dancing to hound dog?  The pros KNOW that Len hates that shit.  Just get to the dancing already.  This is already fucking dumb!  I made it through like 3 people without cussing.  I tried.  Sorry folks, I can’t watch!  He O-fficially needs to be sent home tomorrow!  Do not vote for this man LOL!  I see why Nicolette Sheridan laid him off.  If he moves like that in bed, well never mind!  He better get lower than a 15 cuz that’s what he got last week and last week was better!  Len said that Michael’s jive needed a pooper scooper to finish it off LOL!  Hilarious.  Bruno told him that he shoulda kept the bone and gone back into the dog house LMFAO!  I’ll say this much, yes he’s a bad dancer, but Chelsie did him a disservice as his professional partner with that bullshit!  OH EMM GEE he got a TWELVE LMFAO!!  Bruno gave this mofo a THREE!  DAYUM!

Audrina and Tony are up next.  I think she’s gonna do a good Quick Step..an ACTUAL quick step, Flo!  Here go the tears.  She’s sad cuz she barely gets to see her latest loser boyfriend and it’s taking a toll on their “relationship”!  Spare me your sob story and dance!  Audrina did her thing tonight!  That was good.  I hope Carrie Ann gets on her about not pointing her toes like she did Brandy.  Aight, Bruno liked it although there were issues at time.  Carrie Ann I guess overlooked that b/c she only sang her praises.  Len said it was the best performance of the night…so far and he was right!    Wait, Tony said in rehearsal that if they don’t get three 8s he’s gonna wax his legs LOL!  Here’s one…two….and Bruno gave them a 7 LOL!

After seeing Jennifer Grey try to dance in the opening, I’m afraid about her jive.  Then again, Derek made it look like Brooke Burke could do any dance.  So she should be fine.  Oh wow, Jennifer found out she had cancer via a routine check up for the show.  She can move very to choreographed steps.  She’s getting it.  Losing a little gas midway through, but hanging on.  She did great, but Audrina was better!  With those extensions in her hair, she actually looks like the Jennifer Grey we all remember.  If I have to hear Brooke talk about how she remembers doing this dance and that dance one more time, I might turn this off!  Scores…24!  Hmmmmm.  I don’t know, but okay.

Oh gawd, Sarah Palin is sitting with Tom.  I know Bruno hates her ass.  For real, Bristol the Pistol?  I could vomit.  I wonder how all of the gay pros feel about her being there knowing that she thinks they are vile individuals!

Margaret Cho up next.  She said people were shunning her ass last week cuz they just knew she was going home.  So did I, but I was wrong.  Louis is tryna keep her from being funny on the dance floor.  Good!  This is a dance competition, not a comedy showcase.  If we wanna see that, we’ll buy tickets to see you live.  (commercial)  Okay.  Why does she look like someone just robbed her.  Uh oh, get it Marge.  Ooops, spoke too soon.  She’s a little wild and keeps forgetting the steps, BUT the steps she does remember she’s puttin her back into ’em lol.  Hey, at least she had fun out there.  I hope she enjoyed it cuz the judges are going to eat her up!  Len was kind.  He just said work on the kicks.  Bruno said that she was all over the place, too.  He also said that when she was relaxed she danced better.  Ya’ll are gonna start listening to Hollywood and me LOL!  Carrie Ann encouraged her fellow Asian American.  Score…18.  Louis doesn’t like the triple 6.  I’m with him, but I’ll leave that alone.

Kyle and Lacey are up next.  I really want Lacey to bring her dark hair back.  Why do white women always want to be blond?  Anyway, she put him on a fast food free diet while they’re on the show.  Yeah, cuz he’s really going to stick to that!  Quick Step, here we go…He looks like a shoe shine man.  Get it big boy.  He is doing IT.  Lacey came to play with this partner.  You can see it in how she’s even dancing!  Alright now.  Bring it judges!  Bring it!!  Bruno said that he needs more control.  BOOOOOOOOO!  Carrie Ann loved it!  Len said he was flat footed, his hold was bad, he had no style, BUT he liked it!  Len is such a grumpy ass old man.  We’ll have scores after the break.  Kurt Warner’s jive is coming up, too.  I don’t know how good that’s gonna be….22 for Kyle and Lacey!

Time for Kurt Warner and his good looking self to take the floor.  Uh oh, Anna is whipping him into shape in the studio.  I’m excited.  This might be good!!  Did he just moonwalk lol?  Oh shit, he’s getting into it now.  But she has to stop letting him add his own flare to their routines.  He was decent.  I enjoyed it, but let’s see what the judges say.  Len loved it.  Bruno too.  Straight to the scores…21!  Not bad  with his sexy self!

I already know that The Situation is not going to do well with the Quick Step.  This jackass fool talking about he wants to dance to hip hop or something that he likes!  Is he pigeon-toed?  Here we go.  Hmmm.  He’s trying really, REALLY hard, but it’s just not working.  Oh lordy, he’s messing up steps.  I think Flo actually moved a lot more quickly than he did.   HOWEVER, we cannot let him go home over something small like not being able to dance LOL!  If ya’ll can keep Kate Gosselin around for half the season, then The Situation can stick around for a bit, too!  18!!!!  I LOVE how Sitch acts like Karina is not even his partner.

Bristol I needed Mark to life my leg for me last week Palin is up next.  Oooh lucky Mark, she brought him to Alaska with her.  I’m sorry, I can’t even watch this shit.  I’ll just wait until they hit the stage.  Quick Step She’s doing the moves, but her face is not connecting with her body.  Her face says that she’s getting a pap smear and her body looks like it’s trying to do the quickstep.  WHY are people standing up for her?  She didn’t do shit.  SEE, Bruno said what I said!  I know that Kelly Osbourne is disgusted by Carrie Ann saying that Bristol reminds her of Kelly.  Negative!  OH COME ON LEN…8???  Get the fuck outta here!  She did not HARDLY dance an 8!

Until tomorrow…in a minute…Vine

For the 15 of us still watching this group, here we go…starting off with Cat and Charles.  She’s finished her book and they’re boring me talking about it.  Evidently it was difficult for him to read the book cuz it discussed her past life, but he got over it.  I guess he did…by divorcing her ass!

Okay, so now Michaele is pretending that she used to be a Redskins cheerleader?  Um, sure she was.  She ain’t hit one move on time yet.  Who is she fooling?  She might have cheered from the sidelines…in the stands or from her living room, but actually on the field, I ain’t buyin’ it!  But at least we know she can count to 8 LOL!  I love the sistas in line with her who didn’t want their faces shown.

Over to my girl Stacie.  That woman is a saint for still tryna get to know Cat’s dumb ass.  I really want Cat and Stacie’s bff to have it OUT!  Oh, Lynda just showed up.  In private, Stacie said that she doesn’t know how she feels about gay marriage.  I know this is coming up again.  Mary said that Michaele is lyin about being a Redskins cheerleader!  Told ya.  It’s safe to bet that anything that allegedly anorexic woman says is a straight up lie!

Back at Stacie’s ice cream social, Mary is talking about how all her kids are back home.  Lolly quit her job.  Of course she did!  She doesn’t have a financial care in the world.  Oh shit, Erica just called out Cat about being mean and negative!  Okay, here we go!  I would slap Cat with that “bless your heart darlin'” bullshit.  Condescending ass bitch!  Lynda tried to check Erica, but she ain’t havin’ it.  Listen, I don’t agree with Lynda.  Erica was not off on her high horse, she was putting the shit out there to her FACE vs. behind her back like the rest of them do.  If Cat thinks that she has been nothing but kind is a crock of shit.  Cat feels like she’s being annihilated.  Is she crazy?  I’m sorry white women, but why do some of ya’ll play that passive aggressive bull?  Cat is so vicious with her words to every damn body, but when someone says something to her, she’s the victim??  Bitch please!  Her life ain’t that hard.  She was married with a husband who was a White House photographer for crying out loud.  She wrote a fucking book because she could and because she was bored!  Her life ain’t all that damn hard!  She gets to stay at home with her kids because she doesn’t have to work!  How many people would love to be able to do that?  Please!  She needs to quit playing the damn victim!!

Wait a minute, Lolly quit her job as an Executive Assistant?  Didn’t she have a job at the beginning of the show waiting tables?  So she done quit two jobs LOL?  Rich is the voice of reason here cuz Lolly’s ass needs to feel the burn!

So Erica, Paul Wharton, Lynda, Stacie, Mary and Stacie’s hubby are all in David Catania’s office for a meeting.  Oh wait, Cat’s ass is there too.  Oh joy!  She walked in and spoke to everyone BUT Erica.  She’s such a bitch.  Anyway, back to gay rights.  Oh shit, Mary just said that she wasn’t really trippin’ the issue doesn’t affect her LOL.  Paul Wharton and his bad hair did not appreciate that.  Ooooh shit, Jason just said that he thinks marriage should be between one man and one woman!!  Oh LAWD.  They done said it.  They done said it.  Paul Wharton’s hair is getting nappier by the second cuz of this conversation LOL!  Aight Paul said that he gets called a fucking fag (his words, not mine) if he walks down the wrong street in DC.  He said that marriage equality would take away the power those types of people would feel.  Let me break it down to you, Paul.  I’m black and have every right under the sun, just like everyone else, but I STILL get called a nigger!  I’m not saying he shouldn’t be able to get married, just that he shouldn’t be naive enough to think that gay marriage equality will stop that type of talk.

Erica, Mary and Stacie are all at dinner discussing the David Catania meeting.  Lynda said that God isn’t judging and that humans judge.  Well, I don’t know, but I hope to find out when I get to heaven.  Yes, I have the nerve to think I’m going to heaven.  Paul and Lynda are at cocktail hour together.  I know he’s gonna bash Stacie and Jason!  Mary was pissed with Erica cuz the children were there.  Lynda is saying that Cat is just off and has been since Aunt Francis’ house.  (They’re doing a back and forth so bear with me.)  Lynda is having sympathy toward her and Paul is blaming Charles for Cat’s behavior.  Are they for real?  It’s Charles’ fault?  She knew good and hell well what the fuck Charles’ life was like before she moved to DC from England.  Don’t cry about it now!

Over to the Swindlin’ Salahis, they’re tryna plot about keeping their “winery” and not having to file bankruptcy again.  Uh yeah, aight.  Next…

At Mary’s, she’s filling Lolly in about the David Catania meeting while making dinner.  She said she learned a lot and that she wants to take back her comment about the issue of gay marriage not affecting her.  Lolly is giving us an educational lesson on how wonderful gays are and what they do for a living@@

Cat is having drinks with Ted Gibson’s business partner, Jason.  She said he’s one of her rare friends in DC.  Yeah, cuz nobody else wants to deal with your mean old ass!  She’s making fun of all the women in her neighborhood who walk their dogs and clean up the dog shit!  What is wrong with her?  That’s what MoFos do when they have a dog.  THIS is why Erica said she’s always negative….BECAUSE SHE IS!

The Swindlers are meeting with Matt Carson to talk about the tell all book about the Salahi family dysfunction!  They are so low!  I mean, sooo low!  OMG Tareq is already talking about finding a publisher who will give them an advance LMAO!  They are broke as a joke!  When exactly was the last time that Michaele washed or combed her extensions?  Just askin…

Next week if the White House State Dinner episode…watch what happens.

…in a minute

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